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"Friends" who are cagey with information



  • I'd be inclined to think that the OP suspects that these people are inclined to not share such information with other people too. I mean if these people tick every other box as regards the way friends are expected to behave, then maybe they are friends... who just happen to have this particular trait.

  • BrianD3, I think I get what you mean. You've known these people for 20 years and you think you have some sort of friendship with them. Sorry but you don't.

    If you've known someone for 20 years and didn't even know they were getting married you are not a friend. Just someone they know.

    Yes you shouldn't tell people too much but from talking to someone people will let trivial and non-important stuff go. Married, kids whatever. Now if someone doesn't want to share anything like that then that's absolutely fine. But theyre no use too. You shouldn't tell them anything as well.

  • Naw. The newly married guy would have told other people about the wedding, I assume.

  • Not as far as I know. It was a Covid wedding so a tiny number of guests. Apparently some family members were not told that it was happening until after it had happened. And "friends" were not told about it even after it happened, I'm not sure how it got out, I assume that a family member spilled the beans. Wife is Latvian. The fact that he tried (and inevitably failed) to hide it probably generated more gossip and comment than there would have been had he been more open about it.

  • yeah I dont know what his motivations were for not mentioning it but in the context it was a family dinner and no one there was going to try to steal his client. Like I said its up to him what he shares but just found it weird he wouldnt mention the golfer he has spent a few hours with when he knew me and another person at the table are into golf. It would have been just small talk anyway but he was treating it like the third secret of Fatima or something. Thats just one example of how he is very cagey with any information, its a pattern that other family members have commented on.

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  • Just quoting this to LOL at 'true flying colours'.

    That's not a saying. There's 'showed his true colours' and then there's 'passed with flying colours.'

    You know, Quasimodo predicted all this.

  • Talking about spending time with a famous or well know person can come across as boastful or bragging so some people just keep quiet. Or maybe hes used to keeping quiet if he has to do that in his job - senior managers with large teams are expected to be discreet & are usually very guarded, no small-talk.

  • That's just it really your opinion is typical. Life is short if somthing is on your mind share it. Your business is probably very important to you but to others its just routine life. Conversational stuff. If you don't want to share that's your business but don't kid yourself that your special.

  • I never claimed I was special. I said my business is my own and I don't want everyone knowing my own personal comings and goings. In my experience, the ones who pry the most are either a) nosy fcukers, b) gossips who share everyone's business, or c) super private themselves and are all take with no give.

    Oftentimes, they're all three rolled into one.

    There's a huge contradiction in your last post......if this stuff is so mundane and nobody cares about it.....why are you getting your nose out of joint when it isn't forthcoming?

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  • Absolute worst in my experience are some extremely cagey Farmers. (Relations in this case)

    Range from telling outright lies to totally sitting on the fence .

    But boy do they love knowing your business and trying to figure you out.

    Was different years ago when there were many small farms.

  • When you are a blow in to a rural area, the natives believe themselves to be absolutely entitled to know everything about you

    Add to that , the blow in is expected to explain why they moved to the area at least twice per week for at least fifteen years

    If you comment on this blatantly obvious nosiness, you are branded either odd or a troublemaker

  • Some people just like to keep their cards close to their heart. I tend to be in that category myself as I don't like to make a fuss about myself.

  • I know quite a few people like this. I just do the same back. I also have one sibling who does this. I just leave them to it.

  • im a reasonably private person but I’m not somebody who takes any great joy or interest in trawling people about what they are up to or have going on in their life. Somebody shares something , ok, if they don’t, I don’t mind.

    i had an old friend across the road at home and his mother was a lovely person as was his whole family but the mother just had a habit of being seriously nosy, not maliciously so, I think she just had this weird perverse interest into other people’s life and goings on..

    i had quite a drama free and zero skeletons in the closet type upbringing but she’d ask questions a lot about me at school, family, did I know what the parents paid for the holiday and the husband would be.. “ jesus Kathleen, will you leave the lad be, with the questions “...

  • Where do you work? In town.

    Where do you live? Iona House.

  • I'm a thick, but maybe this fella thinks he's better than the rest of your family or something. A lot of people in Ireland have notions about themselves. I've an in-law driving around in a newish Merc while complaining about money, also, this person now(for the last year or two) needs to bite the bullet and change it for a disabled/wheelchair friendly car but won't cos ..... Don't know, notions about themselves driving around in Merc I can only guess

  • We all know that person you just can't trust to share confidential info with.

  • Some people are more private than others and some just don't talk about themselves as much as others or think someone would even want to know.

    Even on the likes of boards, some are happy to share a lot of their life story whereas others keep their story to themselves.

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  • Do you work for the revenue?

  • There are those people who go to find out all about you, but divulge precious little about themselves, until you find out by accident/coincidence. You invariably get short-changed by these folk on the info-exchange equation. They must keep quite the database of info on acquaintances, but doubt if it’s ever out to good use, well not for the benefit of anyone but themselves.