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New relationship, overeating

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Comments

  • Posts: 1,478 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Alice27 wrote: »
    Yeah it’s nothing to do with him really. The relationship was a trigger for me emotionally.
    But what we do when we meet up for dates is nothing abnormal. I recognise it’s normal to have a 99 or a coffee/lunch out on our date but when we are separate I carry on treating myself and binging. For no reason ! Just stuff my face and I’ve these awful cravings for sweet things I never had before.

    Not to be pedantic but just because you don't yet know the reason doesn't mean there's no reason for your eating. you could change the word "eating" to "anxiety" or "comfort seeking", imo.

    There's no point in offering armchair psychology to you here but is there anything on a subconscious level or unconscious level you are anxious about in this situation (even if it's just missing him after you've left him)? Obvious ones are you might not feel you can trust him (yet) or even you might not feel you "deserve" to be happy but really there's a whole range of human emotion that could apply.

    Only you can work it out but I would urge you to really reflect on what this eating means to you.


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators, Paid Member Posts: 7,497 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hannibal_Smith


    OP, it's nothing you're doing wrong. Honestly I feel the same as you. Surely it's normal for a person to have a 99 and not trigger a major eating binge. Food is such a normal every day thing that everyone else seems to have a grip on but me.

    I lost 5 stone a number of years ago and swore it was never going back on. I started a job that was so stressful I can't even begin to explain it. Before I knew it the old eating habits were back and I was back to square one. I had put almost all of it back on. Desperate to sort it out, I got back running, but like someone else said (could have been you yourself) you can't out run a bad diet.

    It took BP tablets not working earlier this year to make me honestly look at things. I mentioned it to my GP and told him I couldn't control the eating, no matter how hard I tried. Fair enough I'd done it before but I couldn't get the same grip on it again for whatever reason. I said about the secret eating, the binges, the guilt and he threw binge eating disorder at me. I'd never heard of it before. He said if it was alcohol he'd tell me to never touch it again, but as food is a necessity it's harder to deal with. The key was as I said before, to not have any treats in the house and by no means touch anything sugary. He said if you avoid sugary food for 3 days your taste buds start to change and you lose the craving. I'm not sure if there is anything scientific behind it but sure I followed the advice nonetheless, with great success. It worked and I didn't touch a morsel of junk food.

    It's the summer now and I've treated myself to an ice cream here or there and it's caused another relapse. Nothing too bad, but I can see now that me and junk food don't go. It will forever be a slippery slope for me. There's a voice inside me that convinces me what I'm about to eat I deserve or I've earned or will extend the feel good moment. Now I'm aware of that voice I can but a stop to things where I couldn't before, but I wouldn't chance it too much!

    I have never told anyone (other than my husband) about what's gone on in case they see me as a gluttonous pig, so I can see why you haven't told anyone. But it's a great idea to talk to your GP and get a referral and maybe change your thinking and relationship with food. I've a feeling I'll be doing similar myself!

    Anyhow, I'm not sure if any of that is relatable to you. I just wanted to share it with you in case it might be. It can be quite isolating when you're not sharing an issue like that and you can feel like you're the only one in the world that is unable to get a grip on something that every one else seems to be able to do so naturally. But you're absolutely not on your own with it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,208 ✭✭✭sporina


    Alice27 wrote: »
    Yeah it’s nothing to do with him really. The relationship was a trigger for me emotionally.
    But what we do when we meet up for dates is nothing abnormal. I recognise it’s normal to have a 99 or a coffee/lunch out on our date but when we are separate I carry on treating myself and binging. For no reason ! Just stuff my face and I’ve these awful cravings for sweet things I never had before.

    awe sorry to hear that OP... your craving is probably psychological as well as physiological (periods of restricted eating and erratic blood sugars).. I think you should contact bodywhys... my friend gets great support from them..


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,070 ✭✭✭gsi300024v


    Or see a therapist, you could explore what makes you want the treats after a date or why you are having this serious relationship now.
    I can almost worry when things are going too well, it's in my head that it this ends I'll really be upset.
    Could be all sorts of reasons for our behaviours.
    I'm trying to lose my covid stone, and yep my GF will say let's get ice cream, I find it hard to say no at times, I'm trying to cut back on the carbs.


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