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Financial difficulty

  • 11-04-2021 2:08pm
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭

    I recently have come out of a long term marriage due to infidelity on the partners side. We have children.

    I have moved out and into rented accommodation, thankfully I receive a decent wage. Unfortunately, that thankfully is low lived.

    85% of my wage goes on rent and bills. This leaves 15% to pay for everything else. This is shopping, general upkeep of my car and trying to keep the kids entertained. They are with me 2-3 nights a week.

    The issue I have is that I seem to be stuck in the earning too much category for any government assistance, yet actually have less money than someone who doesn't work.

    It's really depressing me at the minute. I cannot save for a mortgage as I don't have enough disposable income to save. I actually have to survive on pretty basic foods when the kids aren't here. Mainly rice, beans pasta etc. The kids are fed properly so no concerns there.

    My question is, is this the way my life will be forever? Earning too much to get help, but actually having no money to spend due to rent and bills. It's really beginning to affect me mentally, but I know I have to try and smile and look positive for the kids.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,319 ✭✭✭JustAThought

    Very sorry to hear of your situation OP.

    Does your partner work? Is the financial burden for them entirely on you? If so you need to impress on them that your contribution is unsustainable & they will have to contribute mote or find work or go without.It seems extremely unfair that they cheat and you pay the price.

    Regarding help - have you tried to contact some of the single parent & advice organisations? They know the system well and may be able to give you better insights.

    If you have the kids for half the week apply for half the childrens allowance.This is the gateway for other benefits and payments to become accessible to you -insist on it.

    Also have you approached the social welfare for rent allowance? You were made homeless & could not live with your partner anymore - that is a big monthly payment and would make a big diffetence. Maybe approach Threshold first and ask their advice & then get on to the SW.

    terrible situation to be in -running to stand still - I’m so sorry.

  • Registered Users Posts: 23,015 ✭✭✭✭ted1

  • Registered Users Posts: 12,888 ✭✭✭✭Purple Mountain

    Contact the organisation Treoir.
    I can't say I've dealt with them or have any affiliation to them but they deal with advice for people in your situation.

    To thine own self be true

  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser

    Thanks for the replies everyone. I have looked into social payments and unfortunately I earn significantly over the limits to be entitled to anything. I will reach out to treoir and ask for their advice. I approached a solicitor and unfortunately their costs are far greater than what I can afford, and I earn too much for legal aid.

  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser

    OP you need to speak to solicitor. There are a lot of factors involved here that you need proper legal advice on. No this isn't the long term situation for you but depending on the age of the children, length of marriage etc etc you need to make sure you have everything ironed out and in writing so you aren't take advantage of. We can't give out legal advice on boards, please go speak to a professional and get your ducks in row asap.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 841 ✭✭✭duffysfarm

    very sorry to hear about your situation op but i think there is something up with the rent you are paying. to pay 85% of take home pay on rent is not sustainable. I appreciate that you perhaps need extra rooms for the kids to stay or you need to be near the kids home but long term you cant afford to pay this kind of rent. Sharing is not an option for someone with kids staying but you may need to look at accommodation further from where you live or less expensive accommodation.

  • Registered Users Posts: 12,888 ✭✭✭✭Purple Mountain

    Ring your local Citizens Information Centre and ask if they offer a FLAC consultation.

    To thine own self be true

  • Registered Users Posts: 7,236 ✭✭✭YellowLead

    Very sorry to hear of your predicament OP.

    Definitely reach out to organisations others have posted which can give you more specific advise and support.

    Somebody else may have mentioned this but there is a separation/divorce section on boards that is full of people in your situation. Even if you don’t want to post there, it’s worth a browse through existing threads.

    There’s no doubt that talking to other men who have been in a very similar situation will help enormously. You will also need to formally agree the maintenance - don’t pay over the odds only what you need to. Best of luck.