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Gossip and trouble at work

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Comments

  • #52
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 14,384 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    Neyite wrote: »
    Yet he still gets a kick out of coming to you, telling you that other people think you are a slut and disgusting. Keeping it going. A friend would not do this to you. A friend would defend you to others and stop rumours from reaching you where possible.

    This Jenneke87, this all day.

    If I heard someone saying something so disgusting about my friend I would immediately shut it down and I certainly would not go back to my friend telling her someone said she was disgusting and a slut.

    And, can I ask if it's just you who is disgusting or is it these men?

    I would tell your "friend" that you are going to make a formal complaint about the things you are hearing back. And then do it. Naming your friend as the one who is bringing the stories back to you. Your manager should be in a position to get to the bottom of this pretty quickly.

    If you are hearing nothing from anyone except one person, it appears like he enjoyed the bit of gossip about the other man and wanted a bit of it for himself. He's either making it up, or he's not protecting you from it. Either way I don't think he's the friend you think he is.


  • #53
    Neyite
    Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Mod ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    Jenneke87 wrote: »
    Depends I suppose. People have come up to me and R. asking if the rumor is true so I know for a fact that one is circulating. The other one I only found out about yesterday and he was none to happy about it himself so I highly doubt he just made up a rumor about us saying that we slept together.

    So Man A is unhappy with the false rumour that you slept with Man B, but was grand about the first rumour circulating that you slept with Man A?

    Or is it that Man A was fine about the original rumour that you slept with him but now someone has started a rumour you slept with Man B and Man B is none too happy about it?


  • #54
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 14,384 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    My understanding is Man B told her people were talking about her having slept with Man A. Others mentioned it too. Now apparently people are saying she also slept with Man B, and Man B himself is being all chivalrous and outraged.

    Although, I don't think Man B is as pure as he's painting himself. Hand it all over to your manager and let him sort it out


  • #55
    Jenneke87
    Registered Users Posts: 807 ✭✭✭Jenneke87


    Big Bag of Chips wrote: »
    My understanding is Man B told her people were talking about her having slept with Man A. Others mentioned it too. Now apparently people are saying she also slept with Man B, and Man B himself is being all chivalrous and outraged

    That's the correct version of it.


  • #56
    eleventh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 436 ✭✭eleventh


    You have nothing to lose at his stage by going to the manager to make the formal complaint as BBoC says.
    I would do it without telling Man B.
    Chances are he will deny it to the manager or downplay it drastically, if the manager follows up and approaches him to confirm. (Don't be too surprised if the manager can't be trusted either. If the culture is overall toxic, he won't be).


  • #57
    Notmything
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,066 ✭✭✭Notmything


    Jenneke87 wrote: »
    Hi all,

    Thanks for all the replies. After reading them, I decided just to keep my head down and wait for it to blow over, which didn't happen and people are still talking about it, in fact, another rumor is now circulating that I also slept with another male co-worker..So now there are two rumors going around about me sleeping with different men within the company (both of them are unfounded btw, and I'm not sure what the most recent one is based on, other than that he's a fun guy to work with).

    I discussed it with my TM, it feels weird going to work right now. He wants to send out an e-mail reminding everyone that this sort of carry on is not okay (not mentioning me specifically) and I wonder if this is the right course of action, I fear people will cop on that it's about me and it will escalate things further.

    Can anyone advise me what the best course of action is dealing with these kind of things? Thanks in advance.

    How does your TM intend to word the email?

    "Can everyone stop gossiping about their colleagues sex lives" or "who people sleep with or not sleep with is not a suitable topic for discussion in work".

    Sorry but this is only going to fuel the gossip.


  • #58
    Jequ0n
    Registered Users Posts: 6,412 ✭✭✭Jequ0n


    Notmything wrote: »
    How does your TM intend to word the email?

    "Can everyone stop gossiping about their colleagues sex lives" or "who people sleep with or not sleep with is not a suitable topic for discussion in work".

    Sorry but this is only going to fuel the gossip.

    Should be covered by the workplace’s code of conduct so it’s likely to be a generic email reminding everyone of the code.
    I’ve gotten “friendly” reminders before (not by email) and unless you are an idiot you know what it means. However, in this case there is no tangible culprit so it will be a meaningless email to a faceless group of people.


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