Porn Addiction

LegacyUser

Hi all.

Long time boards user, but for obvious reasons mortified to post under my own username.

Since working at home with lockdown, I spend a lot of time in a room solo with a computer. This has led to me watching a lot more porn.

When a work day is busy, I've regularly taken a ten minute breather for myself to pull up some porn, get hard and sort sort myself out, then back to work.

I'm a married man in my 30s. There are children in the marriage.

I'm only on day 3 of no porn and I'm struggling mightily. My real world sex life is okay, but probably suffering because of porn. Feels like i'm never fully hard anymore, my interest having sex has dropped in recent times. It feels like an effort. It's easier watch some videos and sort myself out.

Alarm bells at that...

So I have decided it's got to stop before it gets worse. I don't think I've hit the life revolves around porn stage, but 5-7 days a week there's a porn ****. Some days twice. That's obviously pushing well past moderate porn consumption.

I'm not on a **** ban, but I'm imposing a no porn rule on myself. It was classic escalation. Started with "normal" porn. It slowly morphed into watching bukkake, and step mom stuff, or pissing etc, Japanese submission, etc. More fetishised. And when I was finished I'd quickly close it and feel bleurgh at myself. I'd noticed I was looking for different material to get the same excitement.

I don't want to be that person.

Has anybody been in this position and come through it? Words of encouragement or advice?
My wife doesn't know, and I won't be disclosing!

Wibbs

Let's keep the "jokes" out of this please.

SnuggyBear

I think you should try no **** along with no porn. They both feed into each other. Try going at least 2 weeks.
There is a good app called rewire companion say no to fap that you can use to time it. It has badges for milestones to try motivate you. It also has a message board on the app. Good luck.

mistress_gi

I'm really sorry you're strugling with this. But i think this is an addiction like any other, you've recognised it as a problem and that is the first step.
I can tell you from the other side (pretty sure my ex was addicted to porn) it's not a great place to be. Replaced by a screen is not exactly every "girls dream".
Try and nip it in the bud, if you can't do it alone talk to someone, GP, maybe join a support group?

Stigura

PornAddict wrote: »

My wife doesn't know, and I won't be disclosing!

Why not

The general advice I give to anyone getting over an addiction is that simply stopping and making no other change just created a Vacuum where the thing used to be. In your case a hole in your life where porn used to be.

Vacuums tend to want to get filled - and all too often this means the thing missing is the thing that comes back. In your case porn.

So the general advice is fill that hole with someone else as soon as you can. Working from home is a good excuse to start running / jogging for example. Take a few minutes away from your desk and start with a 2k run every second day. As you get good at this increment it up. I know people who never ran before who over the last year have started doing a lunch time 10k on monday wednesday and friday each week.

Just one example but find something that replaces the porn time in your life rather than simply removing it from your life and replacing it with nothing at all.

Sorry to hear this OP, this is a major issue for millions of men.

Here are some suggestions:

1. Much of this is down to boredom. Plan your day with google calendar so you have something planned for every part of the day. Plan nice things, not just a load of chores.
2. Get up for a walk instead of a ****. Plan this, such as every hour.
3. Make it awkward, or difficult to give you time to "think", by doing things such as:
3. Work with your office door open.
4. If you use your mobile uninstall the apps you use
5. If on the PC, look up how to disable private browsing
6. Set up a separate windows profile for "work" so you are in work mode when using it, if you access work through remote access delete everything else from that profile and just have that.
7. If you are "doing the business" at your desk, do not keep any tissues or whatever you use nearby, leave them downstairs
8. Read about how many women are abused in the porn industry. Do you have a daughter?

If the above does not work or lead to a big improvement then you need to talk to your wife and be held accountable, there are various programs for your computer that can do this. Perhaps professional help will be needed. But give some of the above a go, just make it as awkward as possible so you have to go to a load of trouble to watch porn/**** and you will likely find you won't bother. Good luck!

LegacyUser

Thanks all for the replies.

Why am I not telling my wife? Shame I suppose! If I can avoid that conversation I will!!
I don't think I've hit full blown addiction yet - maybe that's denial but I don't believe so. I do however know that it's becoming an issue which is why I'm choosing to do something about it. It could be a rapid downhill slide if I keep going the way I was.

On Day 4 now with nothing. I am finding it hard and I have a few times gone to open a private browser window and found something else to do instead.

Ex-loco refugii, thanks for those items. I have started keeping the door open. I do not use mobile apps. I do have a daughter, that stopped me in my tracks. There was a disconnect between women in porn and real women. I'm sure there still is in my head, but when you asked if I had a daughter, well it made it a bit more real.

TaxAHcruel, I might look into getting more active, it'd be more productive and healthy than **** and eating chocolate. Christ I can hardly believe I'm typing that.

PornAddict

PornAddict wrote: »

Thanks all for the replies.

Why am I not telling my wife? Shame I suppose! If I can avoid that conversation I will!!
I don't think I've hit full blown addiction yet - maybe that's denial but I don't believe so. I do however know that it's becoming an issue which is why I'm choosing to do something about it. It could be a rapid downhill slide if I keep going the way I was.

On Day 4 now with nothing. I am finding it hard and I have a few times gone to open a private browser window and found something else to do instead.

Ex-loco refugii, thanks for those items. I have started keeping the door open. I do not use mobile apps. I do have a daughter, that stopped me in my tracks. There was a disconnect between women in porn and real women. I'm sure there still is in my head, but when you asked if I had a daughter, well it made it a bit more real.

TaxAHcruel, I might look into getting more active, it'd be more productive and healthy than **** and eating chocolate. Christ I can hardly believe I'm typing that.

You'll do great!

bonzothedog

I've probably been at this level on a couple of occasions myself so can sympathise, first time round my girlfriend was away in college and got into web and phone lines , got some shock when the bill arrived and she found it! Recently have just got over another bout of addiction where basically I was slipping downstairs in the morning to watch a bit of porn! have not done it in a few weeks now and hope to keep it that way! PM me if any questions OP

PornAddict

PornAddict wrote: »

I'm only on day 3 of no porn and I'm struggling mightily. My real world sex life is okay, but probably suffering because of porn. Feels like i'm never fully hard anymore, my interest having sex has dropped in recent times. It feels like an effort. It's easier watch some videos and sort myself out.

You're married, and this affects your wife too. Talk it over with her.. (You didn't mention her personality, but I assume you have a bond to have lasted this long). We might be under lockdown, but the postal service works. Order some uniforms or something a little kinky for her to wear. I'd recommend some minor bondage with you being tied up/handcuffed, and her jerking you off, or her taking control. Surprisingly enough, it's something a lot of men haven't tried, and it's a great stress reliever.

Your sexual desires are important, and will feed into everything else in your life. Look after yourself. There's no shame in it.

MidnightHawk

I understand what you're going through and have been in the same place. Also married with kids.

If you want to chat, or want an accountability partner, feel free to drop me a private message.