Civil Ceremony (Registry Office) during Covid - guidance on 'traditions'

cjmcork

So I'm getting married end of April and am not really the 'oh my god I'm getting married' type..........I've got my dress, have a pair of statement sandals that I'm going to match my bouquet to.....but other than that, haven't given any of the rest of it much thought..........found a list on a Facebook group and am looking for guidance on what I 'need' to do nowadays.

(these are genuine questions - they may seem dumb to some so excuse my ignorance)

1. Do we need candles for the registry office?
2. There'll be us plus 6 guests, do you still need to do 'bridal party' gifts - my brother and his sister are our witnesses.

lazygal

cjmcork wrote: »

So I'm getting married end of April and am not really the 'oh my god I'm getting married' type..........I've got my dress, have a pair of statement sandals that I'm going to match my bouquet to.....but other than that, haven't given any of the rest of it much thought..........found a list on a Facebook group and am looking for guidance on what I 'need' to do nowadays.

(these are genuine questions - they may seem dumb to some so excuse my ignorance)

1. Do we need candles for the registry office?
2. There'll be us plus 6 guests, do you still need to do 'bridal party' gifts - my brother and his sister are our witnesses.

1. No.
2. No.
Suit yourselves. If you want to get a gift do so.

Peregrinus

Probably wise to manage expectations — if you decide not to do gifts for the witnesses, make sure they understand this before the day.

(No need to manage expectations regarding candles - nobody but yourselves care greatly whether there are candles or not.)

cjmcork

thanks for the responses folks - with the numbers limited to 6, we've totally scrubbed our list of people we wanted in the room in favour of family - my best friend volunteered to step down as my witness so my siblings and parents could be in the room........so I asked my brother to be a witness instead and the sh1tebag replied 'sure, whatever's needed' - so he can swing for a gift!!

But can I take it that the candle is more for a religious ceremony as opposed to the registry office?

lazygal

Those candle ceremonies I find cringy so get rid if you don't like it.

woodchuck

cjmcork wrote: »

But can I take it that the candle is more for a religious ceremony as opposed to the registry office?

Presumably it originated from religious ceremonies, but we're having a non-religious (humanist) ceremony and have opted for candles.

There's absolutely no requirement to have them though. So if you don't want them, just leave it out!

jlm29

You don’t need candles. I got married in a registry office and it didn’t cross my mind. There’s no mention of candles in the basic civil ceremony “script”, so if you want candles you’ll need to discuss the new script with the registrar.

You certainly don’t need gifts. They’re literally signing their name on a bit of paper. Unless you’ve a desire to give them a gift, then don’t!

Peregrinus

cjmcork wrote: »

But can I take it that the candle is more for a religious ceremony as opposed to the registry office?

The candle business isn't part of any of the standard mainstream religious ceremonies either. It's an optional add-on which most churches will allow if the couple want it, but some of the more liturgically conservative ministers might be reluctant if they have a preference for sticking closely to the "official" rite of marriage of their church.

It's relatively recent — became popular in the last 30 or 40 years — and its origins are obscure. It seems to have come from the States. One theory is that the custom took off after it was featured in a wedding on the medical soap General Hospital in the early 1980s.

cjmcork

ah that's grand so - no candles needed then - happy days - thanks so much for the responses folks - much appreciated!