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Childfree by choice forum

13

Comments

  • #2



    Perhaps it would be useful to propose a handful of likely thread topics in this discussion to see what level of engagement could be expected?

    That’s literally the bulk of the first post on this thread.


  • #2


    Faith wrote: »
    That’s literally the bulk of the first post on this thread.

    Almost every one of the (?notional?) threads in the quoted box deal are not particularly suited to a "child-free by choice" forum ... :confused:


  • #2


    Because, as the rest of your post exemplifies, it would be a community founded on a very, very distorted view of the role of children in one's life, to the point that every decision, every discussion, every question is viewed through the lens of whether or not a person who has chosen to have children can be trusted to respect the concerns of someone who has chosen not to have children. That is a hugely dysfunctional starting point for any new community.

    That's like saying the Parenting Forum is from the point of view of every decision, discussion or question being from people who have chosen to have children? It most likely is, you know. Choosing to be child-free has life ramifications on a lot of levels, for the person, people, and the planet. I can see a myriad of topics under this banner - I can also see that your only viewpoint is to oppose the idea of a forum on this topic.


  • #2
  • #2


    Because, as the rest of your post exemplifies, it would be a community founded on a very, very distorted view of the role of children in one's life, to the point that every decision, every discussion, every question is viewed through the lens of whether or not a person who has chosen to have children can be trusted to respect the concerns of someone who has chosen not to have children. That is a hugely dysfunctional starting point for any new community.


    No, that’s a complete distortion of an interpretation of what I said. Ironically given the point you’re making that whether or not a person who has chosen to have children can be trusted to respect the concerns of someone who has chosen not to have children is answered by the fact that you call a point of view you don’t share a distortion, rather than acknowledging that it is simply a world view or point of view which differs from your own.

    To answer the question objectively - of course they can. No reason why anyone is incapable of seeing something from someone else’s point of view, they can absolutely be trusted to do so and are trusted to do so by being expected to post in good faith and making an attempt at least to understand where other people are coming from.

    Will it happen that some people are choosing not to post in good faith and instead choose to distort another persons perspective to suit themselves or their own narrative? Absolutely, but that shouldn’t form the basis of an argument against the creation of a new forum or community space for people who wish to engage in good faith with each other on the basis of a particular world view or ethos or philosophy.


  • #2
  • #2


    Pretzill wrote: »
    That's like saying the Parenting Forum is from the point of view of every decision, discussion or question being from people who have chosen to have children? It most likely is, you know. Choosing to be child-free has life ramifications on a lot of levels, for the person, people, and the planet. I can see a myriad of topics under this banner - I can also see that your only viewpoint is to oppose the idea of a forum on this topic.

    That’s because having a child has a far greater impact on your life than not having a child.

    Is this the reason for the forum, the parents have one so we want one too?

    As I said I am in favour of any new forum but only if it adds to the overall site.


  • #2
  • #2


    Faith (and others) have made some good points and whilst I'm not likely to post there: +1




    I always thought the purpose of these forum requests was to gauge interest in a new forum by collecting enough "+1s". So I don't really get the point of "-1". If enough people want a forum on "Fun with Ferrets" (apologies if there is one, no offence) have at it.


  • #2


    bubblypop wrote: »
    If people are not interested in this particular forum or sub forum, why vote against it?
    If I'm interested I would show my interest, but if I'm not, then I would just not comment.
    If someone wanted to start a forum on people who wear cartoon character costumes, I wouldn't have any interest, but I wouldn't actively be against it.

    Seems strange to actively vote against it. Maybe I'm missing something?

    Even though I mentioned earlier that I think the idea that the forum would cater for both childfree by choice and childfree due to problems is way off, I agree with this - I don't see why people would vote against it.

    It's not like there's a finite number of forums possible, so another has to make way, and its not like there's a maximum amount of posts possible per day, so it would limit posting elsewhere.

    At worst, it will be another forum that very few people visit, and will become a zombie forum.


  • #2


    Pretzill wrote: »
    Choosing to be child-free has life ramifications on a lot of levels, for the person, people, and the planet. I can see a myriad of topics under this banner - I can also see that your only viewpoint is to oppose the idea of a forum on this topic.

    Being child-free is the default state of every human on the planet. The choice faced by sexually mature adults is to give up that status, a choice being made by fewer and fewer people in most countries across the world.

    I'm not opposing the creation of the forum; but I am asking why, if there is "a myriad of topics" that are seriously affected by a person's decision to remain childless, those topics shouldn't be discussed in an existing forum.

    If there's such a need, it should be easy enough to give half a dozen hypothetical thread titles to show the direction of such discussion ... so far, all we've had is "a place for like minded people" and a whole lot of "+1"s. I would side with MrMusician on this point: the site is already too fragmented, and potentially interesting discussions do not benefit from being corralled into niche forums.


  • #2


    -1
    Other than not wanting children, what would the parts have in common to discuss that wouldn't fit on the existing fora?


  • #2


    bubblypop wrote: »
    If people are not interested in this particular forum or sub forum, why vote against it?
    If I'm interested I would show my interest, but if I'm not, then I would just not comment.
    If someone wanted to start a forum on people who wear cartoon character costumes, I wouldn't have any interest, but I wouldn't actively be against it.

    Seems strange to actively vote against it. Maybe I'm missing something?

    That’s how the new forum process works. If you read the rules in the sticky, you’ll see that people are encouraged to vote for or against proposals, and the tally goes towards making the decision.

    https://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057601382/1/#post99821578

    Can’t really blame people for taking part in a process according to the rules.

    (I personally don’t have an opinion one way or the other on this particular proposal, so I’m not casting a vote, but I wouldn’t hold it against anyone who does have an opinion either way - it’s an engagement in the community aspect of Boards)


  • #2


    +1

    More forums the better, more choice.


  • #2


    +1

    More forums the better, more choice.

    Completely against the powers that be ethos of recent years of closing forums and streamlining boards.


  • #2


    bubblypop wrote: »
    If people are not interested in this particular forum or sub forum, why vote against it?
    If I'm interested I would show my interest, but if I'm not, then I would just not comment.
    If someone wanted to start a forum on people who wear cartoon character costumes, I wouldn't have any interest, but I wouldn't actively be against it.

    Seems strange to actively vote against it. Maybe I'm missing something?
    If only positive voting is allowed then how do you decide if the forum is warranted or not?
    I'm sure I could get positive votes for any idea that the majority of other posters would be against.


  • #2


    +1

    Have kids myself, but also have friends with no interest in having kids and I can see their eyes glaze over when the few of us that do start chatting about ours.

    I've no idea if a forum would be viable in the long term but no harm in letting them have a chance to make it work, imo.


  • #2


    +1

    Not a forum for me but can see the arguments for it


  • #2


    eviltwin wrote: »
    That’s because having a child has a far greater impact on your life than not having a child.

    Is this the reason for the forum, the parents have one so we want one too?

    As I said I am in favour of any new forum but only if it adds to the overall site.

    Why would a new forum detract from the overall site - and how do you know the impact on anyone's life of having or not having children? A place to discuss that and other issues would be interesting. Some forums move very slowly here but it doesn't detract from boards to have the choice, ironically of a forum for a community of people with a commonality.

    And No I wouldn't think the reason is because the Parents have one, so we want one too, that's ironically childish - I was making the point that lots of different fora on here only ascribe to their community - let's face it you can barrel on in to the Religion forum with atheist views if so be your want - that doesn't mean it will be welcomed.


  • #2
    Boards.ie Employee


    Mod Note: Please note that to vote you need at least 50 posts and to have been on the site for 3 months.

    As per the charter, while some discussion is allowed, it should be restricted to the forum or aspects of the forum. If you would like to provide feedback about the process of requesting a forum on the whole (including the voting process), please open a thread in Help Desk or Feedback. This helps keep the thread tidy and makes it easier to tally votes.

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  • #2
  • #2
  • #2


    I spent some time working in the Middle East. I don't know if it is true of all M Eastern countries (predominantly Islamic) that young men are obliged to get married, procreate, but I believe it is so. Not doing so will mark you as the odd man out. Short of a serious mental illness, you take a wife, have kids. And thats that.

    I like that in the West, there is not so much pressure on - at least not to the extent you would be under in M Eastern countries.

    I am single and childless by default. It just never happened.
    I think a lot comes down to one's mindset and upbringing. I was immature as a youth and I don't know how much I have matured in the intervening years but not sufficiently to be in charge of a brood, i feel.

    I look at people with kids and part of me envies the laughter, sharing and joy. I know its not all sunshine in there but you manage to forget yourself in the business of living through / for your kids. You watch them grow and, hopefully, you will still enjoy their company in old age. In an ideal world

    In retrospect, i thank the woman who declined my offer of marriage way back when. That there is True Love. To set one free from the workload that is marriage and a lifetime of being 'on call'. I did not pursue the idea of settling down after this

    So, whats left ? .. a wealth of freedom to develop your self and relationships that don't necessarily have a sexual context.

    Certainly, Childfree by choice should be discussed and promoted as a viable option to having kids. A lot of people have kids because 'its the done thing' or become pressurised into it. A forum where people can discuss such misgivings - if they have any - can only be a positive move


  • #2
  • #2
  • #2


    .. of course ..
    You can be outbred .. some communities have 6-7-8 9 what, Never ! kids .. Step up to the plate .. Become a Dad. Safety in number et al

    But thats for a whole other thread i guess .. sorry

    Anyway great idea for a thread .. thank you for letting me ramble


  • #2


    +1 from me.


  • #2


    Gives a few folk a chance to rant about those of us with kids.....and then it gets ghosted....and then deleted.

    I genuinely don't think it would last. But cynicism aside, whatever floats yer boat. I personally don't care if someone decides they don't kids. Some people with kids shouldn't be allowed keep a plastic plant, but that's another debate.


  • #2
  • #2


    -1

    "I choose not to have kids". Close forum.

    Far too restricted a subject matter


This discussion has been closed.
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