Very worried for future and depressed!

Airyfairy12

souldestroyed wrote: »

The house is idle for longer than 15 years before I moved in there, I don't own it and it is owned by my father. It needs €80 to €100k spent on it to take it back to the 4 walls and start for scratch, most sensible people in the building trades have advised me to demolish and rebuild, this would cost €250-€300k money I don't have and I will never get a loan.

The air temperature hovers around 6-7c unless the heating is on 24/7 which is not affordable. Within 2-3hrs of turning off the oil heat you are back at 6-7c again after maybe maxing out at 18c in a room with a radiator on full heat and an electric 2kw dimplex heater also running. It is cold and damp and has no shower or proper bathroom facilities beyond a toilet. It is also infested with mice and outside with rats due to close proximity to an active farm yard and buildings.

My father won't cooperate in even basic improvements which is why I can't stay there anymore, I don't have any attachment to the house like he has (his childhood home) and I would demolish it if it was my own choice.

I am in my mid-30's and am the heir presumptive to this house and property and large amount of wealth with it. I asked for help to either renovate or buy a new house and nothing was offered, when I would bring it up e.g. I got told at dinner yesterday "its a mansion compared to the tramps in cardboard city in Dublin". I'm dealing with an ignorant man and the family situation at home is not that great so there is no way my wife and I can stay with my parents. This house has been idle for a long time now and I suggested several times we renovate it as money in the bank is worthless in the sense of its continuous devaluation wheras this house rebuilt or renovated would be worth a lot of money and could have generated a rental income for a long time already.

My father is a wealthy man but one of the most miserable people you could ever meet, this year early in March I asked him to let me buy €100k in shares of Amazon, Tesla and Apple since I could see how big-tech would have surged as Covid emerged, the reply was oh yeah to get broke like the fools who bought Telecom Eireann at the time. Our neighbour is now selling his farm which will make €350k to €400k and he like a fool wants to buy it, I told him I have no interest in it or our own farm, i told him to buy a few houses for rental and he wouldn't hear of it, you are dealing with a man who is the living embodiment of Bull McCabe. Whatever I will get will come when both my parents are deceased and I have no interest in pursuing anything or pushing anything as I have my own plan for my life when that happens.

I had several anxiety panic attacks in the days since I made this post last and was in a pretty bad way, I just spent hours in bed feeling lost. I contacted the various agencies and text chats, I went to my GP, all I can say is Mental Health Services are an absolute disgrace in Ireland, I will get an appointment to see a video-chat therapist sometime mid-to late-January. My wife also is generally not supportive and has contributed alot to my own predicament.

I was on your side for the most part, finding somewhere practical to live within a reasonable budget is hard, especially with disabilities and the current world situation. That was until I read this quoted post by you.

Firstly, when you said your dad was 'tight' with money, I felt that as my parents are tight with money. I asked my dad for 1 euro to put in a trolly at Tesco as I had no change, he gave me 20cent instead despite having a pocket full of euros and he was still getting his coin back. My father wouldnt buy me a packet of Tayto if I pleaded with him.
You on the other hand are expecting 100k from your dad for investments. Your dad isnt tight', youre completely delusional and entitled.
Secondly you said you told your dad how to spend his money and not to buy a neighbors land because you have no interest in farming.
Your father can spend his money on whatever he wants, it is his money, no matter how much you feel entitled to it. You have no say whatsoever.
Thirdly, your comments about getting your parents money when they die turned my stomach. No matter what sort of relationship you have with your parents that is a truly awful thing to say.

Judging by your post, im not surprised youre having panic attacks. You are blaming everyone and everything else for your problems, youre consistently negative about everything, youre entitled, you treat your own father like your personal bank account and kick up when he doesnt hand over thousands of money to you. Youre not the victim here. Id even wonder if youre abusive to your dad as it sounds like you think very little of him.
Grow up.

Also, just to add you have over 500 euro coming in every week, entire families live off that money. If you want to be wealthy like your dad, maybe go out and earn that wealth yourself, like your parents did, instead of expecting it to be handed to you.

wiggle16

Mod:

OP, it's come to our attention that you have posted previously about this issue on Boards. The advice given you at the time is still applicable to your present situation.

As such I am locking this thread. Thanks all who posted.

Thread locked