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I need to make some serious changes in my life, I need advice

2

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  • Registered Users Posts: 13,278 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard


    I've lost count of the number of these threads you've started at this stage OP. I'm not sure what advice you expect to get out of this one that you haven't already been given.

    You've been repeating this mantra for years but nothing has changed. You want to be an entrepreneur - great. But doing what? You don't seem to actually know. You just know college isn't for you. But then again neither is trade, you don't think. And your guidance counsellors just don't understand where your skills lie, so you'll ignore their advice too.

    There has been quite an enormous tone of exceptionalism running through all of your threads on this topic. You should be able to be an enormously successful entrepreneur (but very vague on what that actually entails) without having to go to college or do a trade or even just get a job and work your way up, because you're too special for that and your innate need and entitlement to be successful means it should just happen for you as if by magic, and it's all just so terribly unfair that it hasn't happened for you.

    I know all that sounds harsh and I'm genuinely not saying any of it to be hurtful. But you need to realise that the universe isn't going to make you a successful entrepreneur overnight just because you think you deserve to be one.

    Any entrepreneurs I know are focused on and committed to their goals with an almost scary single-mindedness. You don't seem to have committed to anything, ever. As soon as it gets too much like hard work, or bores you or, I suspect, you realise you're just not able for it, you quit.

    You need to change your mindset before you ever have a hope of being successful.


  • Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators Posts: 7,920 Mod ✭✭✭✭cee_jay


    MrMiata wrote: »

    Honestly I made it through 2nd year because it was easy, I haven't studied for a test in my life, the second a module pops up that I find difficult I'm screwed because I genuinely can't study, I don't have the attention span for it.
    I never have and I'm starting to realise and accept that college just isn't for me.

    I have zero intentions of spending the rest of my life in an office.
    I know that's not the only route from a business degree but sales doesn't really interest me, and I have absolutely no intention of pursing any further education, plus I'd be lucky to scrape a 2.1 - and it certainly wouldn't be due to any effort on my part.
    I have an exam tomorrow morning - I have absolutely no interest.

    My end goal has always been entrepreneurship, I want to own my own business.
    I know that much at least, you could argue that I'm not fit for it and I'd say I honestly don't care, I've always wanted to start my own company and grow it into something impressive and successful, that's what I strive towards, that's what keeps me up at night - thinking how will I get to that.

    OP taking just those bits of what you posted, you are living in cloud cuckoo land.
    Entrepreneurship is your end goal, but you don't want to spend time in an office. Most jobs these days are based in an office. If you do a trade, and running your own business... guess what? You need to spend time in the office. Work won't fall into your lap - you need to spend time marketing, costing, balancing the books - even selling your product... so much more.
    Being self employed is difficult - what happens when you get bored running your own business when you are doing the back office admin work? Drop your business idea and close the business?
    Everyone has aspects of their job they dislike but they get on with it and suck it up.
    You have a lot to learn about the business world for someone who would like to be an "entrepreneur".


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,203 ✭✭✭Tork


    Sorry OP but you sound flaky as hell. I have seen your other threads and as soon as I saw you had started another one, I had a pretty good idea what I was going to read. I know loads of people who came to realise the course they put down on their CAO form wasn't the right choice or who changed careers later in life. There's nothing wrong with that. Most of us could do well in all sorts of different careers and there isn't one set path for us.

    The difference here is that you have developed a habit of starting things then bailing out. You're now on your second(?) college course and you want to quit this one too. You've already quit a trade. I would bet every penny I have that you'll try something else, get bored of that too and jack it in. What age are you now? If you don't change your ways and stick with something to the end, you are going to make yourself unemployable. If you were sat across the table from me now in an interview, there is no way I would give you a job. What do you have to offer any employer other than a track record of indecision and bailing when the going gets tough (or boring).

    As for that talk of being an "entrepreneur", why haven't you become one? What's your plan? Have you got an idea about what it is you want to do? You sound more like a 5 year old who wants to be a fireman when he grows up. Entrepreneurship sounds like your "out" so that you can assure yourself that bailing on all these college courses and the trade are OK things to do.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 393 ✭✭MrMiata


    Dial Hard wrote: »
    I've lost count of the number of these threads you've started at this stage OP. I'm not sure what advice you expect to get out of this one that you haven't already been given.

    You've been repeating this mantra for years but nothing has changed. You want to be an entrepreneur - great. But doing what? You don't seem to actually know. You just know college isn't for you. But then again neither is trade, you don't think. And your guidance counsellors just don't understand where your skills lie, so you'll ignore their advice too.

    There has been quite an enormous tone of exceptionalism running through all of your threads on this topic. You should be able to be an enormously successful entrepreneur (but very vague on what that actually entails) without having to go to college or do a trade or even just get a job and work your way up, because you're too special for that and your innate need and entitlement to be successful means it should just happen for you as if by magic, and it's all just so terribly unfair that it hasn't happened for you.

    I know all that sounds harsh and I'm genuinely not saying any of it to be hurtful. But you need to realise that the universe isn't going to make you a successful entrepreneur overnight just because you think you deserve to be one.

    Any entrepreneurs I know are focused on and committed to their goals with an almost scary single-mindedness. You don't seem to have committed to anything, ever. As soon as it gets too much like hard work, or bores you or, I suspect, you realise you're just not able for it, you quit.

    You need to change your mindset before you ever have a hope of being successful.

    Despite what you might think I really don't enjoy writing these..
    Sometimes it just feels like I need to get a complete outsiders input.

    I think learning a trade is the route for me.

    I am not someone overflowing with self belief, I'm naturally a very pessimistic person, but I feel like I'm capable.

    I'm well aware of what entrepreneurship entails, and what an apprenticeship entails.
    I'm under no illusion that I'm probably making life very difficult for myself but it's how I can get to where I want to be.

    I'm not expecting it to fall into my lap, that's been the tone throughout this whole post - I know I have to work hard for it, and I will.

    I'm not entitled to anything, I just know in myself I'm capable - if I didn't I honestly don't know what I'd do with myself, because then I'm just as useless as I currently am. I'm capable of more.

    I'm not special, I'm not 'too special' for anything.

    Life is terribly unfair and unjust - but I've brought this all on myself, if I succeed I'll have brought that upon myself.

    I haven't committed to anything, it breaks my heart to say that because I know everything up until now basically been pissed away, it's not worth a sh*te.

    Single mindedness - College isn't for me, entrepreneurship is, I need to learn a trade, I need to work hard for once in my life, I'm not where I want to be but I'll get there.

    I am trying to change, change everything from my mindset to my current situation.

    I want to change and I feel I need to for my own sake, so I'm starting now.

    I'm trying.

    I appreciate your input and honesty, but I think you've missed mark on a few points.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 393 ✭✭MrMiata


    Tork wrote: »
    Sorry OP but you sound flaky as hell. I have seen your other threads and as soon as I saw you had started another one, I had a pretty good idea what I was going to read. I know loads of people who came to realise the course they put down on their CAO form wasn't the right choice or who changed careers later in life. There's nothing wrong with that. Most of us could do well in all sorts of different careers and there isn't one set path for us.

    The difference here is that you have developed a habit of starting things then bailing out. You're now on your second(?) college course and you want to quit this one too. You've already quit a trade. I would bet every penny I have that you'll try something else, get bored of that too and jack it in. What age are you now? If you don't change your ways and stick with something to the end, you are going to make yourself unemployable. If you were sat across the table from me now in an interview, there is no way I would give you a job. What do you have to offer any employer other than a track record of indecision and bailing when the going gets tough (or boring).

    As for that talk of being an "entrepreneur", why haven't you become one? What's your plan? Have you got an idea about what it is you want to do? You sound more like a 5 year old who wants to be a fireman when he grows up. Entrepreneurship sounds like your "out" so that you can assure yourself that bailing on all these college courses and the trade are OK things to do.

    You're missing the point of the post.

    I'm under no illusion - I'm a useless waste of space with a track record of indecisiveness, notions and a spotted work and college history.
    I don't like myself, I genuinely don't but I feel obliged to help myself.

    The key point - I'm trying to change, I want to change.

    It's well and fine to sit in your ivory tower, but you're not exactly offering anything other than 'I wouldn't hire you you flaky childlike individual'.

    I posted here looking for advice not to be ridiculed.
    I don't need and more negative voices in my head.

    I'm trying, I'm trying to address the problem, I'm trying to be better.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,203 ✭✭✭Tork


    How much longer have you got to do with that course of yours?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 393 ✭✭MrMiata


    Being an “entrepreneur” is an extremely tough route! It is not a case of watching the Social Network and thinking that will be me. It is a lot of rejection, hard-work (I wish that I could tell you the last time that I went to bed before midnight), uncertainty and bull****. You can put 3-4 years of your life in, with very little to show for it and no guarantees for the future. I am lucky enough to have a degree that will ensure that I have a job. I think that the uncertainty of being an entrepreneur without this fact would drive me insane. I know that I can pay my bills at the end of the month. People talk a good game. But the reality is very different! Get your degree and have your fall back plan. There is no easy route! However, hard work never feels bad when you are passionate about what you do. Finding that passion is key.

    I'm well aware.

    That's why I want to get a trade, at least if things go south I'd have a fall back.

    I'm passionate about business, it's why I went into the degree.
    My eyes lit up in my first year Business Information Systems lecture, Do I care about IT? No.
    Do I care about databases, spreadsheets or big data? No.

    But competitive advantage fascinates me.
    I love understanding businesses and more so understanding what makes them successful.

    Why Apple is as big as it is, why GoPro became GoPro, how RedBull went from selling soft drinks to extreme sports.
    I'm interested in how I could apply that.

    Why did the Comer Brothers become so successful, how many young lads from Glenamaddy went out plastering but they're the multi millionaires.
    I know a guy who started around the same time as them, but they run one of the largest property development companies in Europe and he keeps busy.

    That's where my interest lie.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 393 ✭✭MrMiata


    Tork wrote: »
    How much longer have you got to do with that course of yours?

    A year and a half, but that's assuming I can actually pass.
    There's a real possibility I'll fail.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,272 ✭✭✭qwerty13


    Your posts sound very long on high aspirations (an entrepreneur, like the Comer brothers) - but very very short on anything practical. I think that’s what people are picking up on. It comes across as though you want to be perceived as a very successful person, but you don’t seem to equate this to hard graft, having a backup plan, and sticking with things to see them through - including the tedious stuff that so far you just bail out on.

    I know you’ve said that you recognise that you can’t continue to chop and change direction. You’ve said your parents are lovely - talk to them. Like a cards on the table talk. They know you, ask for their input. Especially if they’ve been funding you, do them the courtesy of an honest chat with them. Your lack of a backup plan would concern me, in case a business you set up fails (which a lot do, and I think you said that you’d be ok with that) - how do you propose to pay rent / bills?

    It just seems like you’ve grasped onto a ‘motivational’ poster reading entrepreneur, have no solid plans about how to achieve this, and flit from A to B to C, trying everything on for size and finding fault with each of them. You know you can’t continue doing this, especially not if you’re not standing on your own feet financially. I have no idea how good life coaches are, maybe research that. Or seek a few counselling sessions regarding why you aren’t really engaging in the real world of hard work, and have your head in the clouds.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,272 ✭✭✭qwerty13


    MrMiata wrote: »
    I'm well aware.

    That's why I want to get a trade, at least if things go south I'd have a fall back.

    I'm passionate about business, it's why I went into the degree.
    My eyes lit up in my first year Business Information Systems lecture, Do I care about IT? No.
    Do I care about databases, spreadsheets or big data? No.

    But competitive advantage fascinates me.
    I love understanding businesses and more so understanding what makes them successful.

    Why Apple is as big as it is, why GoPro became GoPro, how RedBull went from selling soft drinks to extreme sports.
    I'm interested in how I could apply that.

    Why did the Comer Brothers become so successful, how many young lads from Glenamaddy went out plastering but they're the multi millionaires.
    I know a guy who started around the same time as them, but they run one of the largest property development companies in Europe and he keeps busy.

    That's where my interest lie.

    I would say what all of the companies you mention have in common is years of hard hard graft, sticking with it through thick and thin, and never quitting!

    And you need to care about maths, bookkeeping, spreadsheets and data if you are to run your own business. I’d say these are absolute minimum skills that you will have to have.

    Honestly, your last post just underlined that you are totally clicked onto how to get the glory - and not ‘how do I plan for, and do the work involved, in order to get myself in position to even have National competitive advantage as something that I need to consider’.

    You are obsessed with sprinting before you’ve learnt to crawl.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,023 ✭✭✭Gruffalux


    You are writing the running commentary many people have at some points in their heads, and like tge rest of us it is a bit escapist and fantastical. You will be an entrepreneur, I will be a novelist, you will be successful, I will win the lotto.

    But life is generally the boring one step in front of the other with lots of routine repetition forming the landscape into which some happiness hopefully and some sorrow unfortunately will wind its way.
    You say your failures are yours, your successes will be yours - actually most failure and success has a fair bit of luck, randomness and inherited wealth behind the scenes. Just play the cards cheerfully.

    If you don't want to stay at college then don't. If you want a trade, then do it. If you want to go to Canada save up and go there. Go out and meet the world.

    Try to be content rather than always striving for something else and criticising yourself. You have been influenced by Peterson - we all have had influences here and there most of whom we drop as we realise we are living our own lives and they are just saying stuff that works for them. Fair enough they help at the time but don't build your whole unique life around someone elses ideas. It is wild enough in this improbable galaxy that we just exist without having to "become" someone.

    When you find what you want to do, even if you love it, it will still be hard work day in day out. Unless you win the lotto. ;)


  • Registered Users Posts: 428 ✭✭Vital Transformation


    It seems you're unlikely to change your mind but I would stick out the college course. You have a year and a half left. Honestly, that period of time is worth sucking up just to get the degree.

    Having modules in a course that you don't like is just a reality of life. Very few people are lucky enough to enjoy absolutely everything in a college course. The value of persevering through the remainder of the course is more valuable than any alternative plans that I can see. Having the degree will open more doors and provide security down the line. Where are you going to get the capital to be an entrepreneur? Better chance of that happening if you have money to put away from the better paying job a degree will get you.

    You don't have a fixed plan as regards a trade, and a track record of bailing on them. Aspiring to be like the successful entrepreneurs you mentioned; these people had to persevere through difficult times too. You haven't demonstrated that same mentality in the past. It's all very pie in the sky mentioning such people.

    Think of it like this: There's no guarantee that in the short period of time between now and the end of your course that you'll be on a superior track in life to just sticking that time out and getting the degree. It wouldn't surprise me with a past where you've shown an inability to finish something to completion.

    You'll have better employment prospects with a degree, you can even change to another area of work down the line with postgraduate study if necessary. In a year's time you could end up unskilled and back to square one if you were to drop out. Sounds like a bigger waste than the years in college you've perceived to be a waste. At least have something you can show for all the time spent.


  • Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators Posts: 7,920 Mod ✭✭✭✭cee_jay


    MrMiata wrote: »
    A year and a half, but that's assuming I can actually pass.
    There's a real possibility I'll fail.

    Only because you have decided not to study.
    Make the decision to knuckle down and actual do some work - yes it will be hard, it won't fall into your lap, you might have to learn about topics that you don't necessarily enjoy, but the only reason there is a possibility you will fail, is because you are making it so.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,449 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    That business course not being for you means entrepreneurship is possibly also not for you, I don't know any entrepreneur who didn't have a head for numbers. otherwise you piss away investment, or don't get investors in the first place (because you can't back up the numbers)

    So you're right, I think the trade suonds likely. But as you've been told, every trade also has exams. More so these days, constant revisions in regulations and specifications means most trades are a lifetime of learning and keeping abreast of these with exams.

    How did your exam this morning go?


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,130 ✭✭✭Surreptitious


    I agree. Finish the degree first then worry about the rest later. This type of thinking is typical of some kind of dissociation to make you think everything is better than what you're doing now. Walk out of this degree and it's a load of money and time wasted. Even if you don't get a career in it, you will look bad in interviews chopping and changing constantly with nothing to show for it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,203 ✭✭✭Tork


    I know a lad who is training to be an electrician and I couldn't believe the amount of time he has had to spend at college. He's happy with that but he is somebody who had decided in school he was not going to go to college.


  • Registered Users Posts: 507 ✭✭✭Sinus pain


    Op - why don’t you open a business while you are in college? Come up with an idea ( you haven’t said what you want to be an entrepreneur in?) and trial it in a small scale while in college. My daughter is 20 and in third year in college and she has two businesses (one she runs with her boyfriend) she had great aspirations to be an entrepreneur (she is doing a business type degree and hopes to do a masters) but she’s started small scale (one business she opened when she was 16 when no one would hire her and one she seen a gap in the market during the pandemic and took a risk and went for it.) I’ve also one child training to be an electrician - he wouldn’t be the brightest spark (get it?) but he has passed his exams - he had some help in his maths - he barley scraped a D in ordinary level and he’s flying in it. Looks to me like you have great aspirations but when you feel your gonna fail you run away. Life is about risks - I don’t have a degree myself but I have good job - but I worked for it and took rejection but moved on. You need to make a plan and stick to it - you jump around too much. Remember Rome wasn’t built in a day - you want a big business but you have to fatty small - and work your way to a bigger business


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭Hijpo


    You could look at becoming a tool maker\machinist

    Its a highly skilled and specialised trade.


    Opens the door to opening your own machine shop in the future if your good enough.


  • Registered Users Posts: 472 ✭✭Piehead


    Can you cook? Maybe consider a cookery course. Can take you all over the world like being a chef on a cruise liner when the COVID is gone.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,130 ✭✭✭Surreptitious


    Piehead wrote: »
    Can you cook? Maybe consider a cookery course. Can take you all over the world like being a chef on a cruise liner when the COVID is gone.

    Cheffing on a Cruise Liner is months of working very long hours and no days off for ages. You have to have about 1,200 dishes identical lined up for guests. Someone with that passion and drive would know early on in life if they want to pursue this career. You might not have been aware, just letting you know.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,521 ✭✭✭atilladehun


    As many have mentioned here in different ways life is often about breaking things down into tiny segments and ticking them off a list.

    If you want to start a business then a business degree can help. It's true not everything in the degree will but that's what degrees are. Break every module down topic by topic as per previous exam papers, get through it. It'll stand to you in ways you will be grateful for for the rest of your life. Don't worry about the final grade so much. That matters if you want to further educate, which I don't think you will or if you want to work for major companies.

    Starting a business is hard, most people fail multiple times. Your degree will help you convince banks for loans or after your 4th failure will look good on your CV if you decide in ten years you just want a 9 to 5. Failed businesses can also look good for the right company.

    Can you work with your uncle on weekends and holidays? Or could he set you up with another tradesperson so you can get done experience there? Do that for the next year. At least you'll know more about it and earn some money. You're not sure what you want to do so getting a degree and figuring out what you want to do will have you ahead of more people than you think at your situation. Many leave college only to realise they've nothing to get into.

    A year and a half is such a short time. At this stage probably something like 36 lecture weeks, 12 exams and 12 assignments. Everything gets about 10 days attention at most. The resilience you develop getting a degree will make you stronger when it comes to making a business a success.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 165 ✭✭FHFM50


    Have you ever been assessed for ADHD or a similar condition?

    It would explain a lot of your issues.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,002 ✭✭✭Dufflecoat Fanny


    Quantity Surveyors are in high demand you should consider it. Mix of business and site work.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 393 ✭✭MrMiata


    FHFM50 wrote: »
    Have you ever been assessed for ADHD or a similar condition?

    It would explain a lot of your issues.

    I went to my GP (I had a different GP, absolute gent but he’s out with issues, so I’ve got this GP ‘he said he didn’t think so, I said I’d like to rule it out he said he’d make some calls and get back to me with regarding to to refer me onto and that’s coming up on a year and a half ago.

    What about what I’ve said would point towards ADHD?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 393 ✭✭MrMiata


    Cheffing on a Cruise Liner is months of working very long hours and no days off for ages. You have to have about 1,200 dishes identical lined up for guests. Someone with that passion and drive would know early on in life if they want to pursue this career. You might not have been aware, just letting you know.

    My mothers a chef, if I said I want to do this to her she’d laugh.
    I’d love to learn how to cook to that standard but I wouldn’t have any interest in doing it for a living it’s hard and thankless work.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4 KevC20


    Tork wrote: »
    I know a lad who is training to be an electrician and I couldn't believe the amount of time he has had to spend at college. He's happy with that but he is somebody who had decided in school he was not going to go to college.



    Not that long in college really phase 2 is the longest 22 weeks
    Phase 4 10 weeks
    Phase 6 10 weeks
    Much more time on the job learning


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,130 ✭✭✭Surreptitious


    MrMiata wrote: »
    My mothers a chef, if I said I want to do this to her she’d laugh.
    I’d love to learn how to cook to that standard but I wouldn’t have any interest in doing it for a living it’s hard and thankless work.

    It's in the blood so. But you would know by now it's not for you. I was a chef for years. I did cafes, food production then onto the fancy stuff. I always loved cooking though so it was inevitable I'd do it. It's not a social job though and very long hours unless you get a cushy restaurant job where you can work around times off but you still have to fulfill shifts.
    I think you should finish the degree and then work out something. I did different degrees as well but don't regret it. Life is long nobody knows what's ahead. You would be crazy to drop out now.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,130 ✭✭✭Surreptitious


    KevC20 wrote: »
    Not that long in college really phase 2 is the longest 22 weeks
    Phase 4 10 weeks
    Phase 6 10 weeks
    Much more time on the job learning

    I had a friend who was an electrician. It was three months back then in an IT college to qualify but that was 1998 so maybe it's changed since.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,272 ✭✭✭qwerty13


    MrMiata wrote: »
    My mothers a chef, if I said I want to do this to her she’d laugh.
    I’d love to learn how to cook to that standard but I wouldn’t have any interest in doing it for a living it’s hard and thankless work.

    But OP, you seem to view literally everything as hard work, and thankless as it doesn’t point towards 1000 degrees words “I can be a famous & successful ideas man now - zero work or dedication required”.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 84 ✭✭LineConsole


    You need a wake up call and not the one you want to hear. You want to be a carpenter but clearly don’t have the grit for it.

    Sorry to tell you but carpentry is one of the toughest most back breaking games there is. My dad did it most of his life before he became disabled (caused by decades of punishingly hard graft).

    He used to take me along to jobs as a labourer when I was a teen and I got a taste of the life, installing kitchens, attic conversions, windows, floors, doors etc. at an industrial scale. You think a business degree is arduous you’ll be singing a different tune after a few years of waking up at 6 am in freezing cold to go crawling around on your hands and knees pissing sweat horsing tools and materials around.

    My Dad’s a maths whizz, he needed to be for work. He was dealing with measurements, angles and fractions all day long without the luxury of a calculator or the internet.
    I’m an engineer (networks and systems) and programmer and I’m not as quick with numbers as he is. You can’t avoid maths in carpentry.

    Not to mention the culture, sorry to tell you but the boys on site would eat you alive with your attitude. No room for day dreamers on a busy site.

    As for the entrepreneur dream. Successful entrepreneurs do it, they don’t talk dream about it as some nebulous idea while simultaneously flunking college for the 2nd time. You want to run a business but don’t want to know about spreadsheets and accounting? Sorry but you can’t have one without knowing the other.

    Knuckle down and finish the degree. Even if you hate some modules (who doesn’t!?). Then do an apprenticeship if you still want. If you don’t finish the degree I guarantee you’ll regret it later in life.

    I wish you the best with whatever you do, and remember success in life does not equal material gain. It’s about how you treat those around you.


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