Australia

Daisy1709

Hey I am considering relocating to Australia with a 15 year old daughter. I work as a nurse so am sure I’ll secure work but where would be a sensible place to move with a teen. I want to avoid big cities as i would be afraid she would meet trouble? Any advice

Thanks

PhilOssophy

Always thought Byron Bay was a nice place myself. Been a while since I was there though.
Wish you all the best if you go ahead with it, I don't envy you.

Daisy1709

Thanks is it suitable for teens. She is being badly bullied at school at present I’ve exhausted all avenues with school and transferring school but to no avail as she is in an exam year. This is an idea I came up with might not materialize but think it would do her good as she is miserable now!

PhilOssophy

Well define "Suitable for teens"? Its a small enough place.
No doubt there's freaks and weirdos and bullies there like everywhere else! That's life. Australia won't be any different to Ireland in that regard.

maebee

Daisy1709 wrote: »

Thanks is it suitable for teens. She is being badly bullied at school at present I’ve exhausted all avenues with school and transferring school but to no avail as she is in an exam year. This is an idea I came up with might not materialize but think it would do her good as she is miserable now!

Sorry to hear about your daughter being bullied at school. This must be dreadful for both of you but are you thinking of emigrating to Australia purely because of this? Do you have any other reasons for this massive decision? It seems like a very drastic measure. Not trying to put you off but I think a move like this could be quite traumatic for any teenager.

PhilOssophy

maebee wrote: »

Sorry to hear about your daughter being bullied at school. This must be dreadful for both of you but are you thinking of emigrating to Australia purely because of this? Do you have any other reasons for this massive decision? It seems like a very drastic measure. Not trying to put you off but I think a move like this could be quite traumatic for any teenager.

Would agree. Could a different part of Ireland not work as a 1st attempt? It does seem like a sledge hammer to crack a nut. In a few years she'll be done with school. Where do you both want to be living then has to be a question to ask.

Daisy1709

I totally get that point and I’ve thought that too but I really don’t know what else to do she is falling behind in school now because she is terrified to go in most days and the days she does go in she comes home crying. I really can’t see another option all she has is 2 friends who not to be mean are a bit on the rough side and I’m terrified she will be lead astray. We live in a big enough town and it can be a little rough at times. She attends counseling and all but so far no improvement

Daisy1709

Other schools in Ireland I’ve rand cork Galway limerick schools all refuse due to her being in junior cert

aido79

Daisy1709 wrote: »

Hey I am considering relocating to Australia with a 15 year old daughter. I work as a nurse so am sure I’ll secure work but where would be a sensible place to move with a teen. I want to avoid big cities as i would be afraid she would meet trouble? Any advice

Thanks

Have you looked into visas?

Daisy1709

Yes but they don’t seem to be accepting them at present due to COVID hopefully that will change soon

aido79

Daisy1709 wrote: »

Yes but they don’t seem to be accepting them at present due to COVID hopefully that will change soon

This will be your biggest hurdle. I don't want to put a damper on things but if your daughter is doing her Junior cert next year then you will probably be doing well to get a visa sorted by the time she's doing her leaving cert the way things are with covid and all the delays that will cause.

These are the processing times for a skilled visa at present:

https://immi.homeaffairs.gov.au/visas/getting-a-visa/visa-listing/skilled-independent-189

Daisy1709

aido79 wrote: »

This will be your biggest hurdle. I don't want to put a damper on things but if your daughter is doing her Junior cert next year then you will probably be doing well to get a visa sorted by the time she's doing her leaving cert the way things are with covid and all the delays that will cause.

These are the processing times for a skilled visa at present:

https://immi.homeaffairs.gov.au/visas/getting-a-visa/visa-listing/skilled-independent-189

Thanks a mill I know I just don’t know what to do for the best

aido79

Daisy1709 wrote: »

Thanks a mill I know I just don’t know what to do for the best

Wish I could be of more help. I just wanted to point out that moving to Australia wouldn't be a quick solution.

Wanderer78

i wouldnt be moving anywhere at the moment, and not just because of covid, sit on it for a while, particular while shes in an exam cycle, do as much homework as possible, and get saving, a major move as such wont be cheap, you ll need many thousands to get there, possible even tens of thousands, australia is extremely expensive, if you thought irelands housing boom was serious in regards prices, you should see australia, which is making rent almost impossible in the major regions. australia is a stunning country though, but life can be difficult for the average person, mainly in relation to housing and employment needs. home sickness can be a serious problem, and theres no quick jumping on a jet to get home, if you move there, thats also extremely expensive. best of luck with whatever you decide

PhilOssophy

It would seem a knee-jerk reaction to me too.
OP - where do you want to be living in 5-10 years time? Is she keen on the idea of moving to Australia, or is there sufficient things to keep you here (e.g parents, other family, etc). I think you only realise how far Australia is away when you live there. Its not like you'll be dropping home every week or two!
Every school no matter whether it is in Ballsbridge or Ballymun or Byron Bay will have bullies/wierdos/asholes/etc. You might find she gets bullied in Australian school over her Irish accent - what then?
Is your kid involved in other extra curricular activities (sports, music, etc) and if not, can she be gotten involved in these sort of things? School is only 1 way and place to make friends.
In my own opinion and life experience, "this too will pass" no matter how bad it seems at the time.
You could try to move to a smaller town (not Cork/Limerick), maybe get her to stick out this year till JC and then tell her you'll review it then. Sometimes, Transition Year is a great opportunity to get involved and make new friends. Sometimes a bit of resilience is a life lesson also - tough times are part and parcel of life and most of the time you come out the other side stronger having dug in and said F this I'll get through it.
Also try to convince her that school is only for another couple of years and then she'll be in college or work where she'll meet her real life friends.
Have you consulted your own family on what they think? Not being smart but without knowing you or the circumstances/personalities, its hard to give a proper opinion other than rambling.

Pauliedragon

Would the UK be an option?

Jim2007

Daisy1709 wrote: »

Hey I am considering relocating to Australia with a 15 year old daughter. I work as a nurse so am sure I’ll secure work but where would be a sensible place to move with a teen. I want to avoid big cities as i would be afraid she would meet trouble? Any advice

Thanks

And what does your daughter think? Is she on board with the idea?


No matter where one is thinking of moving, two things to always check:
- Are your qualifications recognized and do you meet the criteria to have them recognized.

- Make sure you are well financed for the move. Something almost always goes pear shape in a move, so being prepared makes a big difference.

cnocbui

Daisy1709 wrote: »

I totally get that point and I’ve thought that too but I really don’t know what else to do she is falling behind in school now because she is terrified to go in most days and the days she does go in she comes home crying. I really can’t see another option all she has is 2 friends who not to be mean are a bit on the rough side and I’m terrified she will be lead astray. We live in a big enough town and it can be a little rough at times. She attends counseling and all but so far no improvement

I am an Australian, and a parent. I think it might be more practical to find a secondary school and place here where there is less liklihood of bullying. I have two children who attended the same secondary school here, located in a very nice village/rural area, but close enough to a major and minor regional hospital. Neither of my children experienced any bullying, despite neither being 'normal', which you would generally think would make them magnets for such behavours. I would not have the slightest hesitation in recommending the school, which is state, not private. Both my children did very well academically in terms of their Leaving Cert results.

If you would like, I can PM you the details.

Jim2007

Daisy1709 wrote: »

Other schools in Ireland I’ve rand cork Galway limerick schools all refuse due to her being in junior cert

How in heaven’s name could you possibly think that being a in a foreign country in a different culture, a different school system, without a single friend or support system is going to improve her situation or yours for that matter?

Moving to another location in Ireland where there is less of a change of bullying makes sense. She’d at least have the same culture and education system to cling to while building up new friends and presumably you’d have friends and relatives within striking distance. In three years time she will be in a very different place in her life.

I know I’m being blunt, but I’ve seen more than a few families with teenagers fall apart when they move abroad.

skooterblue2

Jim2007 wrote: »

How in heaven’s name could you possibly think that being a in a foreign country in a different culture, a different school system, without a single friend or support system is going to improve her situation or yours for that matter?

Moving to another location in Ireland where there is less of a change of bullying makes sense. She’d at least have the same culture and education system to cling to while building up new friends and presumably you’d have friends and relatives within striking distance. In three years time she will be in a very different place in her life.

That is a massive stress moving house or education but moving country and all factors at the same time? In the middle of a lock down period? Something will have to give with that pressure.

I think dealing with the bullying matter head on is the way to tackle the problem. Social media has a lot to answer for and kids can be cruel.
I would say grin and bear it until final exams and then reassess new school options and then after all else has failed consider moving within Ireland.

Rubberchikken

I can understand that you want to get your daughter away from these issues but as others have said there are bullies everywhere. Your daughter needs to learn how to deal with these people. In time it will make her stronger andore resilient.

Have you spoken with the school principal?
They have a responsibility and obligation to ensure every student is educated in a safe environment and you shouldn't let yourself be brushed off with any excuses which some of them will try to do.

cnocbui

Rubberchikken wrote: »

I can understand that you want to get your daughter away from these issues but as others have said there are bullies everywhere. Your daughter needs to learn how to deal with these people. In time it will make her stronger andore resilient.

Have you spoken with the school principal?
They have a responsibility and obligation to ensure every student is educated in a safe environment and you shouldn't let yourself be brushed off with any excuses which some of them will try to do.

That is ludicrous advice on 'dealing' with bullies. It's the sort of thing men without children say.

PhilOssophy

cnocbui wrote: »

That is ludicrous advice on 'dealing' with bullies. It's the sort of thing men without children say.

Its not great advice by him/her I agree, but ludicrous is a bit strong. Just like everything else with the OP's question, it depends on what exactly is going on and none of us know. It isn't unreasonable to suggest that the OP talk to the principal and discuss the situation, go through the problems, who is doing the bullying, etc.

On his/her first part, it is a bit "suck it up" which is wrong. I guess it very depends on the nature of the bullying, bullying is around in schools as long as schools themselves. It is none of our business, but some children now just overreact to even the tiniest bit of adversity or hassle rather than learning to ignore it or just forget about it. As I say, it depends on what exactly the nature of it is and I am in no way trying to trivialise it, but to me before moving schools, cities or countries the first thing to do is talk to the principal - who might very well be in a position to put an end to it. The child has 2-3 years left in school which is a horrible time for many people but after that she is gone out of school. There has to be some element of "this too will pass", but as I said that depends on the nature of what is going on.

I do however think the OP will get better advice off family and friends than on this board though. None of us know what is going on, or the child/parent involved.

cnocbui

PhilOssophy wrote: »

Its not great advice by him/her I agree, but ludicrous is a bit strong. Just like everything else with the OP's question, it depends on what exactly is going on and none of us know. It isn't unreasonable to suggest that the OP talk to the principal and discuss the situation, go through the problems, who is doing the bullying, etc.

On his/her first part, it is a bit "suck it up" which is wrong. I guess it very depends on the nature of the bullying, bullying is around in schools as long as schools themselves. It is none of our business, but some children now just overreact to even the tiniest bit of adversity or hassle rather than learning to ignore it or just forget about it. As I say, it depends on what exactly the nature of it is and I am in no way trying to trivialise it, but to me before moving schools, cities or countries the first thing to do is talk to the principal - who might very well be in a position to put an end to it. The child has 2-3 years left in school which is a horrible time for many people but after that she is gone out of school. There has to be some element of "this too will pass", but as I said that depends on the nature of what is going on.

I do however think the OP will get better advice off family and friends than on this board though. None of us know what is going on, or the child/parent involved.

I was fairly clear in addressing the bullies part of the post. I't would appear you also haven't read all of the OP's posts. "I've exhausted all avenues with the school" is fairly clear. How many years the daughter has to go is irrelevant. I suggest you and the person I was replying to use a search engine on 'Phoebe Prince'.

Daisy1709

Thanks for all the replies. I do believe there is a chance of making things worse with a move. What’s the alternative? The school unfortunately are not helping me I even spoke with the guards who informed me to take her off social media and it will stop. What 15year old will remove all social media? In an ideal world that would be great.
Strangely my daughter wants to move we have spoke about it before that maybe when she was older we would consider it. We are from a small town and she has one friend in total. My family are very supportive with my dad suggesting he would come for 6 months to see would we settle. If there was no COVID I would consider going next summer to get a feel and see would she like school there and make friends. However sadly that’s not the case. She’s had a tough weekend again with her one friend informing her there is a meme being circulated about her. May seem minor to us adults and say rise above them but all a 15year old wants is acceptance.
Ideally another area of Ireland would be a far more rash decision. I have a cousin in Cork county who is more than willing to help us but unfortunately school is an issue again not willing to accept in junior cert year.

Daisy1709

Apologies far less rash.
I’m a bit addled.

Daisy1709

cnocbui wrote: »

I am an Australian, and a parent. I think it might be more practical to find a secondary school and place here where there is less liklihood of bullying. I have two children who attended the same secondary school here, located in a very nice village/rural area, but close enough to a major and minor regional hospital. Neither of my children experienced any bullying, despite neither being 'normal', which you would generally think would make them magnets for such behavours. I would not have the slightest hesitation in recommending the school, which is state, not private. Both my children did very well academically in terms of their Leaving Cert results.

If you would like, I can PM you the details.

Thanks so much I have friends in south Morang and they informed me it was a safe neighborhood with good schools. Is that the case I’m just researching my options at the moment. I’d def want more rural than cities

Daisy1709

Pauliedragon wrote: »

Would the UK be an option?

I considered it I’ve family there but it’s so expensive for any rental. Plus the wages for mental health nurses isn’t great either. I have a property here which I hope to rent but with the mortgage repayments and rent in UK I could never afford it.

skooterblue2

Daisy1709 wrote: »

The school unfortunately are not helping me I even spoke with the guards who informed me to take her off social media and it will stop. What 15year old will remove all social media? In an ideal world that would be great.

Now this is the real problem. Moving will not solve anything. The problem will remerge either from the past or in a new form. With social media I can bully just as easy from the South pole as Kathmandu. The Guards are right, turn off the media and the bullies will get no reaction and have to find someone else. Focus on her studies and she will have more than enough in her life and focus on making quality friends.

skooterblue2

Rubberchikken wrote: »

I can understand that you want to get your daughter away from these issues but as others have said there are bullies everywhere. Your daughter needs to learn how to deal with these people. In time it will make her stronger andore resilient.

Agreed, you will just move somewhere else and the problem will re-emerge in a different form. This is life, you cant spend your whole life running from people. Turn off the social media, the greatest robber of time. Develop proper quality friendships.

Daisy1709

Yes I can see your points and I’m pretty sure I agree. My problem is trying to get her to school now. It’s very easy for an adult to say it will build resilience etc. we can’t fully relate because we were teenagers at a different time. Teens today seem to not care in the slightest about one another and are a lot crueler than when I was a teen. My worry is her education she has already fallen behind I fear she will fail altogether. This is why I think of it was a fresh start would she reengage. I would love if another local school would accept her but sadly that’s not the case.

PhilOssophy

cnocbui wrote: »

I was fairly clear in addressing the bullies part of the post. I't would appear you also haven't read all of the OP's posts. "I've exhausted all avenues with the school" is fairly clear. How many years the daughter has to go is irrelevant. I suggest you and the person I was replying to use a search engine on 'Phoebe Prince'.

I have read all the OP's posts. I know full well about bullying, Phoebe Prince, etc but the OP has since clarified in more detail what is going on and yes it is extremely serious, but that wasn't clear until her post since my earlier post.

I don't think how many years the daughter has to go is irrelevant, especially when making a massive life-changing decision which may or may not work out. But we'll agree to differ.

OP - I struggle to believe that there is no school anywhere in the country which would take your daughter, have you tried small towns, etc outside the big cities? I would also add that if your family (e.g. your dad) are on-board with it, they obviously think it is a good idea, I'd trust them more than any advice on here. The only thing is, it might take you so long to get through the visa/moving process, is there a chance it might take most of the rest of your daughters education time before you actually get there?

skooterblue2

PhilOssophy wrote: »

OP - I struggle to believe that there is no school anywhere in the country which would take your daughter, have you tried small towns, etc outside the big cities? I would also add that if your family (e.g. your dad) are on-board with it, they obviously think it is a good idea, I'd trust them more than any advice on here. The only thing is, it might take you so long to get through the visa/moving process, is there a chance it might take most of the rest of your daughters education time before you actually get there?

I saw in a different organization a similar problem and our group was asked could an individual transfer in. The request was refused because the team thought the the problems would follow. The transfer was declined. That is possibly why other schools are declining. I would imagine all school principals in an area know each other in a professional capacity, there may have been enquiries made or previous bad experience happened. It also looks bad in the middle of term. Give it a try cutting Social Media, its toxic stuff anyways. Once the bullies are getting no reaction they will move on.

maebee

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058133891/australia

Hi Daisy,

Any update on this please? Did the move ever happen and if not, how are things now?