Parent and child parking spaces.

McMurphy

Ok, just wondering about this one.

Last Sunday afternoon as many of you might recall was pretty damp and miserable, we were on a weekly shop (my wife and I, and 2 of our 4 children) aged 6 and 4.

Anyway, we arrive at Tesco, and I pull up at the main door to let them out as it was bucketing down, and went looking for a parking space, and low and behold there was an empty slot in the parent and child area, up near the shopping trolley bay, and so I parked straight into it.

As I'm getting out, I'm approached by a man in a high vis jacket asking me "where's your child"? To which I responded "there's two of them with their mother already in the shop", he nodded at me, and I walked off to get a trolley and join the queue.

Standing in the queue I noticed this same fella with his face right up to my car, hands cupping his face to get a better view, and I know I probably shouldn't have but I kind of lost the temper, left my trolley where it was and walked towards my car and basically told him to clear off away from my car, and who the hell did he think he was peering into it like that?

"Looking for child seat" he replied, to which I promptly opened the car and took out the two boosters I had in the back.

"What age are your children, are they under 5"?

I told him one was and one was not. He seemed to make a pretty big deal about the age, and questioned me on how a four year old was big enough for a booster. He mumbled something into a Walkie talkie, (I think it was Eastern European language) and stood in front of my car for the entire time I was in the queue to enter the store, and was still there 45mins later when I returned (with my wife and children) I assume he was waiting on a clamp vehicle or otherwise showing up.

Kudos to him for taking the job with great seriousness, but it was a really weird experience.

Anyone any insight as to what the actual hell was going on, and if he was right in his actions? I'm half deliberating on contacting the company in question tbh.

colm_mcm

I think it’s a bit like when some people with a non obvious disability get offended when pulled up for parking in a disabled space without their pass showing. I’ve seen it on social media a lot.
The people who are doing the asking are actually standing up for people with disabilities rather than attacking them.

Likewise, There is also widespread abuse of parent and child spaces (these spaces incidentally have no legal standing beyond a normal space and are provided as a courtesy), and the guy was trying to ensure that those spaces are being used by people who need them.
I can guess that lots of people falsely tell him they have left their kids in the shop.

I wouldn’t get too upset.

McMurphy

colm_mcm wrote: »

I think it’s a bit like when some people with a non obvious disability get offended when pulled up for parking in a disabled space without their pass showing. I’ve seen it on social media a lot.
The people who are doing the asking are actually standing up for people with disabilities rather than attacking them.

Likewise, There is also widespread abuse of parent and child spaces (these spaces incidentally have no legal standing beyond a normal space and are provided as a courtesy), and the guy was trying to ensure that those spaces are being used by people who need them.
I can guess that lots of people falsely tell him they have left their kids in the shop.

I wouldn’t get too upset.

I'm not too upset at him assuming I'm possibly spinning him a yarn, but who or what gives him the right to peer into my car windows with his face pressed up to the glass, and then think he can interrogate me about my children's age.

Treppen

colm_mcm wrote: »

I think it’s a bit like when some people with a non obvious disability get offended when pulled up for parking in a disabled space without their pass showing. I’ve seen it on social media a lot.
The people who are doing the asking are actually standing up for people with disabilities rather than attacking them.

Likewise, There is also widespread abuse of parent and child spaces (these spaces incidentally have no legal standing beyond a normal space and are provided as a courtesy), and the guy was trying to ensure that those spaces are being used by people who need them.
I can guess that lots of people falsely tell him they have left their kids in the shop.

I wouldn’t get too upset.

Ya the OP kind of overreacted a bit. The security guy was actually doing him a favour as he's showing he's questioning people who use them to keep it in the spirit of what it was intended for.

I've seen it happen once in an ALDI where a guy got out of his car with no kids and started to walk away, someone with kids pulled down the window and shouted at him, he just threw his hands in the air and shouted "so whatcha gonna do" and kept walking.

Knine

I think it is great that someone is checking. I'd like to see it happen more often especially with disabled bays

Masala

Ya... if we talking about Tesco here... I would like to see them come down hard on the people parking in the Disabled Parking a bit more.

Certain newly designated ethnic minority seem to think they are laid on just fir then to swan into.

colm_mcm

McMurphy wrote: »

I'm not too upset at him assuming I'm possibly spinning him a yarn, but who or what gives him the right to peer into my car windows with his face pressed up to the glass, and then think he can interrogate me about my children's age.

He works there

Cyrus

Chances are if he wasn’t there you may not have had the chance to park there in the first place

It’s a positive development

PsychoPete

Those family spaces are fair game

TP_CM

If you have children who have more energy and ability to walk than their parents then I think you shouldn't use the space. The whole point of those parking spots is so parents can easily lift a baby (or a baby + a car seat) from the car. Normal spaces don't give enough room for this.

So basically behind you there was potentially a dad with a pram and a car seat and no parking spot for him. Those spaces really do make a difference because there is room for a pram to sit alongside the car instead of leaving it out on the road (potentially getting wet while you get the baby organised). So in my opinion you shouldn't use them and be more leave them for parents who have a lot more hassle getting in and out of the car. That being said, I wouldn't be one of those people who goes and starts an argument about it. I don't care about it that much!

JustAThought

colm_mcm wrote: »

He works there

Look at it from his pov OP - he is
working as security/carpark attendant for Tesco -
you drive up aNd park up in the kids section without any kids in the car - same shameless & selfish thing you see Ll the time - he was right to have challenged you and checked - next time you need a space and dont want to wLk the length of the caroark with a toddler you will be glad he is there working on behalf of families struggling with small kids.

Too many selfish *’s out there - I’m only surprised someone bothers to check and that you are surprised rather than virtuous. Too many people taKing the piss and people wanting their teenagers to be treated the same as toddlers.

lawred2

We've three kids. 7 down to 2.

I only really used those spaces when the kids were always in buggys.. before they could walk basically.

Especially two older lads.. absolutely no reason for us to take up a space if I was out with the two of them.

OP, to my mind, those spaces are not for you and your missus with your two kids who can freely jump in and out of the car.

Strumms

I have a nerve issue in my foot, it’s now been 90% fixed and will be 100%... I’m entitled to use a ‘disability parking bay’ and have the permit on display, prominently in the front window of the car.

Before lockdown I was stopped by an elderly gentleman as I walked away from the car at the supermarket .... enquiring in a rather accusatory and abrasive manner why I was parking there when there was lots of other spaces free and taking it from somebody who needed it... “ I’m parking there because I want to, I DO need to and I’m fûcking entitled to” and walked on...

I looked back and saw him then with his face pressed up against my drivers side window peering in...then over at the pass, I clicked the alarm reset button and he nearly but unfortunately did not have a heart attack.

I understand it’s frustrating when those not requiring them take them, all reserved spaces but i don’t want or expect to be judged or questioned when the fûcking pass is prominently on display and I’m entitled to be there.

Same with kids, people need to mind their own business and stop causing others undue hassle and stress going about their day.

SmartinMartin

I don't see the need for them. Let your kids walk a few yards, or push your pram a little bit further ffs.

Baybay

SmartinMartin wrote: »

I don't see the need for them. Let your kids walk a few yards, or push your pram a little bit further ffs.

It’s not really about the distance, it’s more about the spaces being a little bit wider to allow easier access to the back of the car.
Having said that, in the later years of her life, when I took my elderly mother shopping she couldn’t understand why we couldn’t park in the parent & child spots as they were a bit closer for her & after all, she was out with her child!

afkasurfjunkie

SmartinMartin wrote: »

I don't see the need for them. Let your kids walk a few yards, or push your pram a little bit further ffs.

That’s not the issue. I’d gladly walk with a pram. No problem. But if I park my car in a regular space and somebody parks right up beside me it’s next to near impossible to open the back door wide enough to release the baby seat and take it out of the car to load into the trolley or pram.

3xh

McMurphy wrote: »

I'm approached by a man in a high vis jacket asking me "where's your child"? To which I responded "there's two of them with their mother already in the shop", he nodded at me, and I walked off.......

"Looking for child seat" he replied, to which I promptly opened the car and took out the two boosters I had in the back.

"What age are your children, are they under 5"?

I told him one was and one was not. He seemed to make a pretty big deal about the age, and questioned me on how a four year old was big enough for a booster.

I'm half deliberating on contacting the company in question tbh.

Op, you are way too chatty.

Do not engage. Do not bend over to his hi-viz or ‘authoritative’ questioning. Opening your door ‘to prove your innocence’? Come on.

Answering the age of your kids to placate him and clear your name. There is zero need.

He was simply getting off on his mall cop ego. He stood there until you left because he was hurt you weren’t on your own and didn’t want to walk away first.

Doing what you did validates his whistle-swinging swagger.

Writing to them will illicit the bog standard corporate response with all the usual buzzwords. Don’t bother. And try ignore similar responses next time.

Wishbone Ash

McMurphy wrote: »

... and then think he can interrogate me about my children's age.

But why did you engage with him? You should have just blank stared him and walked on.

Gumbo

SmartinMartin wrote: »

I don't see the need for them. Let your kids walk a few yards, or push your pram a little bit further ffs.

Most parents wouldn’t care if they were the furthest spots from the entrance. It’s the addition width of the spot that allows doors to be opened full to get proms and/or baby seats in and out.

Eoinbmw

Strumms wrote: »

I have a nerve issue in my foot, it’s now been 90% fixed and will be 100%... I’m entitled to use a ‘disability parking bay’ and have the permit on display, prominently in the front window of the car.

Before lockdown I was stopped by an elderly gentleman as I walked away from the car at the supermarket .... enquiring in a rather accusatory and abrasive manner why I was parking there when there was lots of other spaces free and taking it from somebody who needed it... “ I’m parking there because I want to, I DO need to and I’m fûcking entitled to” and walked on...

I looked back and saw him then with his face pressed up against my drivers side window peering in...then over at the pass, I clicked the alarm reset button and he nearly but unfortunately did not have a heart attack.

I understand it’s frustrating when those not requiring them take them, all reserved spaces but i don’t want or expect to be judged or questioned when the fûcking pass is prominently on display and I’m entitled to be there.

Same with kids, people need to mind their own business and stop causing others undue hassle and stress going about their day.

The whole part were yo can walk away from the car what about someone in a wheelchair who has no space because of you?
Oh yeah i forgot your entitled!

Cyrus

Gumbo wrote: »

Most parents wouldn’t care if they were the furthest spots from the entrance. It’s the addition width of the spot that allows doors to be opened full to get proms and/or baby seats in and out.

Absolutely

MarkN

SmartinMartin wrote: »

I don't see the need for them. Let your kids walk a few yards, or push your pram a little bit further ffs.

Sometimes the only way to get into a normal space with an infant requires you leaving a buggy with a child in it at the back of the car while you try open the door with a tin opener. These spaces prevent your child being a sitting duck to some stupid c**t on a phone in a car park driving into your kid while you attempt the above.

Iscreamkone

In our town there are places “reserved” for older people but it doesn’t state how old you need to be to use them. Some days I really feel my age (53) would I get away with it?

Nigzcurran

Why don’t they place the extra wide parent child spaces far away from the entrance doors? People with prams are guaranteed a space then. Problem solved

Frankie19

Drives me mad when I see someone park in one of those spaces and their 12 year old gets out. If the kid can walk then don't use them. People need the wider space to get their kids into car seats and buggies.

Also have no issue with pregnant women using them. I'm 30 weeks...went to my local park today and came back to car to find the person beside me had hadnt parked properly within the lines
And was right up against the driver side. I couldn't get into my car with the big bump. Had to climb over from the passenger side...which wasn't very easy or graceful I might add!

KaneToad

Gumbo wrote: »

Most parents wouldn’t care if they were the furthest spots from the entrance. It’s the addition width of the spot that allows doors to be opened full to get proms and/or baby seats in and out.

This is really the most important point. These spaces should be further away from the building. This would dissuade the lazy mé féiners from parking in them. If there is a safe walkway to the building then walking an extra 20 metres is nothing for parents & kids.

Quackster

Strumms wrote: »

I have a nerve issue in my foot, it’s now been 90% fixed and will be 100%... I’m entitled to use a ‘disability parking bay’ and have the permit on display, prominently in the front window of the car.

Before lockdown I was stopped by an elderly gentleman as I walked away from the car at the supermarket .... enquiring in a rather accusatory and abrasive manner why I was parking there when there was lots of other spaces free and taking it from somebody who needed it... “ I’m parking there because I want to, I DO need to and I’m fûcking entitled to” and walked on...

I looked back and saw him then with his face pressed up against my drivers side window peering in...then over at the pass, I clicked the alarm reset button and he nearly but unfortunately did not have a heart attack.

I understand it’s frustrating when those not requiring them take them, all reserved spaces but i don’t want or expect to be judged or questioned when the fûcking pass is prominently on display and I’m entitled to be there.

Same with kids, people need to mind their own business and stop causing others undue hassle and stress going about their day.

In fairness, if you're not in a wheelchair, it would be sensible to park in a normal space if one is available in a suitable location. You still get to park there for free with your pass.

I can understand when wheelchair users get upset when the limited number of disabled spaces are occupied by disabled permit holders who could just as easily have parked in adjacent normal spaces.

TP_CM

Nigzcurran wrote: »

Why don’t they place the extra wide parent child spaces far away from the entrance doors? People with prams are guaranteed a space then. Problem solved

It's not a bad question. I wonder does it depend on the type of demographic the shops are trying to attract. For example food shops might want the big spending family shoppers in instead of the single people with their small basket items. If tesco had family parking next to the doors and Dunnes had me walking in the rain and cold with a pram, I know where I'd be going first!

Valresnick

Sorry OP but all the people that drive into these spaces because they are selfish - lazy gits means this is what needs to happen !! I’m not saying that’s you but I’m glad to see this happening.

kirving

They're close to the door to minimise the distance a child needs to walk across a car park.

greenttc

TP_CM wrote: »

It's not a bad question. I wonder does it depend on the type of demographic the shops are trying to attract. For example food shops might want the big spending family shoppers in instead of the single people with their small basket items. If tesco had family parking next to the doors and Dunnes had me walking in the rain and cold with a pram, I know where I'd be going first!

Or the parent who knows they are more likely to get access to the necessary P&C spot that is far away rather than waiting for one to come up in the car park that has it close to the door but always used by no eligible people. I'd be going to the far away spot shop every time!

It's definitely nothing to do with being close and all about being able to open a door fully without banging off another car.

Also just to clarify something, I agree that car seat users with babies are priority but having to buckle in a child who is maybe 3/4/5 years old needs the space too, so parents are able to stand with the door open to ensure their child is safely buckled in, not easy when the door only opens a few inches.

Also, agree 100% with the pregnant mother thing. I certainly used the parent and child spots when I was past 38 weeks I had no choice in theatrer (a combination of large bump and severe SPD (look it up)). But I felt so guilty for doing it too when I had no actual baby with me. I shouldn't have felt guilty though.

I would never begrudge a pregnant lady or very elderly person those spots. Everyone else though, you should burn in hell in my opinion. Actually maybe someone on crutches or something would be okay too.

grogi

McMurphy wrote: »

Ok, just wondering about this one.

Last Sunday afternoon as many of you might recall was pretty damp and miserable, we were on a weekly shop (my wife and I, and 2 of our 4 children) aged 6 and 4.

Anyway, we arrive at Tesco, and I pull up at the main door to let them out as it was bucketing down, and went looking for a parking space, and low and behold there was an empty slot in the parent and child area, up near the shopping trolley bay, and so I parked straight into it.

As I'm getting out, I'm approached by a man in a high vis jacket asking me "where's your child"? To which I responded "there's two of them with their mother already in the shop", he nodded at me, and I walked off to get a trolley and join the queue.

Standing in the queue I noticed this same fella with his face right up to my car, hands cupping his face to get a better view, and I know I probably shouldn't have but I kind of lost the temper, left my trolley where it was and walked towards my car and basically told him to clear off away from my car, and who the hell did he think he was peering into it like that?

"Looking for child seat" he replied, to which I promptly opened the car and took out the two boosters I had in the back.

"What age are your children, are they under 5"?

I told him one was and one was not. He seemed to make a pretty big deal about the age, and questioned me on how a four year old was big enough for a booster. He mumbled something into a Walkie talkie, (I think it was Eastern European language) and stood in front of my car for the entire time I was in the queue to enter the store, and was still there 45mins later when I returned (with my wife and children) I assume he was waiting on a clamp vehicle or otherwise showing up.

Kudos to him for taking the job with great seriousness, but it was a really weird experience.

Anyone any insight as to what the actual hell was going on, and if he was right in his actions? I'm half deliberating on contacting the company in question tbh.

The real question is why the hell you had kids with you...

Nigzcurran

Nigzcurran wrote: »

Why don’t they place the extra wide parent child spaces far away from the entrance doors? People with prams are guaranteed a space then. Problem solved

I’m a father to a 7 year old so I’ve gone through a few phases now and get the whole “opening the door wide enough to fit a car seat in” argument. Most parents just want a large stress free space to offload/load their kids so why not place it far away from the front door and that’ll remove the lazy feckers who park in the parent and child spots just to be near the door

JustAThought

Or at the moment why not doorstep every person trying to bring a child into the shop and tell them to shop online or use click and pick up and leave their high risk covid carriers away from the general population. Save a lot of car parking spaces and great infection control. Less stress to have the stuff delivered to your door too. Paint out the M&B spaces entirely until they find a cure.

colm_mcm

Nigzcurran wrote: »

Why don’t they place the extra wide parent child spaces far away from the entrance doors? People with prams are guaranteed a space then. Problem solved

The idea is that toddlers/young kids aren’t at increased risk by crossing the car park to get to the door, makes having kids running across you out of nowhere less likely in the rest of the car park.

Nigzcurran

colm_mcm wrote: »

The idea is that toddlers/young kids aren’t at increased risk by crossing the car park to get to the door, makes having kids running across you out of nowhere less likely in the rest of the car park.

Yeah but surely they have their parent with them holding their hand?

byhookorbycrook

Quackster wrote: »

In fairness, if you're not in a wheelchair, it would be sensible to park in a normal space if one is available in a suitable location. You still get to park there for free with your pass.

I can understand when wheelchair users get upset when the limited number of disabled spaces are occupied by disabled permit holders who could just as easily have parked in adjacent normal spaces.

Actually , being ambulatory for short distances makes it harder for us , as opposed to those in wheelchairs. I have MS and there are many days when I can barely get out of the car , never mind walk extra distances . Some days ( getting more and more rare ) I can manage a bit more distance , so try to leave the spaces then.

Guy:Incognito

Nigzcurran wrote: »

Why don’t they place the extra wide parent child spaces far away from the entrance doors? People with prams are guaranteed a space then. Problem solved

Why should they? Its their car park. If they decide that only yellow cars are allowed in, that should be their choice. Youre free to go to a different car park that doesn't required you to have to walk a few meters more to the shop.

colm_mcm

Nigzcurran wrote: »

Yeah but surely they have their parent with them holding their hand?

Not all kids or parents are ideal and you have to allow for that.

Stoolbend

Nigzcurran wrote: »

Yeah but surely they have their parent with them holding their hand?

Some people also have more kids than hands.

McMurphy

McMurphy wrote: »

Last Sunday afternoon as many of you might recall was pretty damp and miserable, we were on a weekly shop (my wife and I, and 2 of our 4 children) aged 6 and 4.

Not motors related but..

We are in the middle of a pandemic, why did the 4 of ye need to go into the shop (for 45mins). The less people in busy enclosed spaces the better chance we have fighting this. Use a bit of cop on and wait in the car with the kids the next time

Loveinapril

byhookorbycrook wrote: »

Actually , being ambulatory for short distances makes it harder for us , as opposed to those in wheelchairs. I have MS and there are many days when I can barely get out of the car , never mind walk extra distances . Some days ( getting more and more rare ) I can manage a bit more distance , so try to leave the spaces then.

Same as this. My MS means I can sometimes get out of the car fine, but after a good few metres of walking, my foot goes dead and I limp (absolute trip hazard). Being able to park right outside where I need to be means I get more time before my foot drops. I need to open my door wider to get in and out a and can also get nerve pain in my legs.

The spots are "disabled" spots, not specific to wheelchairs. My dad has COPD and has a permit because walking for long stints means he struggles to breathe. Someone who is "only" in a wheelchair would have no bother parking further away from a shop than him (meaning a fit and healthy person who doesn't have the use of their leg/s).

Cyrus

Mayo_fan wrote: »

Not motors related but..

We are in the middle of a pandemic, why did the 4 of ye need to go into the shop (for 45mins). The less people in busy enclosed spaces the better chance we have fighting this. Use a bit of cop on and wait in the car with the kids the next time

Magnificent Dr Tony is on boards

They were queuing to get into the supermarket so one would assume the shops are only letting so many people in. If this guys wife and kids weren’t in there then 3 other people would be. Same amount of people in the enclosed space.

Cyrus

Cyrus wrote: »

Magnificent Dr Tony is on boards

They were queuing to get into the supermarket so one would assume the shops are only letting so many people in. If this guys wife and kids weren’t in there then 3 other people would be. Same amount of people in the enclosed space.

If the wife goes in on her own then two other shoppers can get in and out and go about their business instead of standing outside. The children are pointers in a shop.

Cyrus

ReginaldSmythV wrote: »

If the wife goes in on her own then two other shoppers can get in and out and go about their business instead of standing outside. The children are pointers in a shop.

That’s a different argument and not really any of anyone else’s concern how people decide to do their shop. Personally taking the kids shopping isn’t my idea of fun but if someone else does it that’s their own business .

TuringBot47

PsychoPete wrote: »

Those family spaces are fair game

Your sense of fairness needs to be re-evaluated.

Cyrus

Cyrus wrote: »

Magnificent Dr Tony is on boards

They were queuing to get into the supermarket so one would assume the shops are only letting so many people in. If this guys wife and kids weren’t in there then 3 other people would be. Same amount of people in the enclosed space.

Well mr smarty pants you failed to think your defence through. As next poster said if they are only letting so many in at a time it’s even more of a reason to stay in the car as 3 less people have to stand outside in the winter weather, not just the inconvenience but also wasting 3 people’s time.

I’m not talking about a single parent who HAS to take their kids I’m taking about families needlessly going shopping as a unit

Gumbo

Guy:Incognito wrote: »

Why should they? Its their car park. If they decide that only yellow cars are allowed in, that should be their choice. Youre free to go to a different car park that doesn't required you to have to walk a few meters more to the shop.

I don’t think your reading is on point here.
You just made the posters point. He said he would rather walk a few meters away if it meant the M&B spots are further from the door. If the genuine abusers of the spots just want closer to the door then there’s more chance a M&B spot will be free of further away.

Gumbo

Mayo_fan wrote: »

Well mr smarty pants you failed to think your defence through. As next poster said if they are only letting so many in at a time it’s even more of a reason to stay in the car as 3 less people have to stand outside in the winter weather, not just the inconvenience but also wasting 3 people’s time.

I’m not talking about a single parent who HAS to take their kids I’m taking about families needlessly going shopping as a unit

Why can’t those 3 other people order online or use click and collect like you mentioned in your other post?

Cyrus

Mayo_fan wrote: »

Well mr smarty pants you failed to think your defence through. As next poster said if they are only letting so many in at a time it’s even more of a reason to stay in the car as 3 less people have to stand outside in the winter weather, not just the inconvenience but also wasting 3 people’s time.

I’m not talking about a single parent who HAS to take their kids I’m taking about families needlessly going shopping as a unit

You are changing your point now mr not so smarty pants

But yeah global pandemic virtue signals yada yada

Gumbo

Gumbo wrote: »

Why can’t those 3 other people order online or use click and collect like you mentioned in your other post?

Vast majority of people need to go to the supermarkets as click and collect / online shopping is not at the standard it needs to be (slots, flexibility being 2 of 5000 reasons).

Let me guess next you are going to ask why don’t they stock up on 6 weeks worth of tinned soup and powder milk and not bother going at all?

This is way off topic, all I suggested was a bit of cop on from the OP just for the few weeks that we have this “lockdown” and queues into supermarkets