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Terrible at my job

  • 03-11-2020 9:09pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026
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    Thank you in advance for reading.

    I’m woeful at my job. I’m a in house solicitor. The amount is mistakes I have made is mind blowing. At the moment I’m looking back over the years since I left school & thinking how did it all go so wrong. I did well in the LC, I studied non stop for most of 6th year & got circa 550 points. I did quite a few difficult subjects as well. Since I left school Ive done well on paper but a lot of it was sheer luck. I’m now stuck in a job I dislike & to put in mildly am tragic at. I’m on mat leave at the moment & wasn’t planning on going back. But since being on mat leave I keep thinking of more things I got wrong & now I feel compelled to go back. Plus I don’t have a plan.

    I feel like a failure but that’s secondary to how guilty I feel for letting people down by not trying hard enough, missing details, procrastinating etc. I do actually care & want to do the right thing just day to day I struggle with motivation then spend my time off feeling guilty.
    I feel like such a sloth tbh. I think back to that girl doing the LC & think WTF happened.

    I’d appreciate any advice or commentary.


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Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,080 bilbot79
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    It's unusual for someone who is woeful at their job to say it out loud. Are you just lazy? That's what it sounds like to me and if so you have to make a decision and that's either

    1/ go do something p*** easy
    2/ completely change your ways and commit to hard work and effort

    Obviously the latter is the right thing to do and I'd recommend you sign up to the ToDoist app. Also watch this:

    https://www.ted.com/talks/tim_urban_inside_the_mind_of_a_master_procrastinator?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,405 Airyfairy12
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    It sounds like youve no passion for the job, would you consider a career change? Could you upskill or retrain?
    What is it about the job that you dont like? What do you like about the job and what would you like to do instead? What skills do you have?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,201 Man with broke phone
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    Everybody makes mistakes, thats why pencils have them little rubber things on top.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 34,216 listermint
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    You noted you are on maternity leave presently. Pregnancy can overload the hormone's system and really have your brain dreaming up scenarios that were nothing like that in reality.

    I'd concentrate on the maternity leave right now and possibly join a mother and babies club to chat with people going through the same experiences.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,254 Esse85
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    Have you a history of depression?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 313 araic88
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    This does sound like it's probably more hormones/mood than you actually being awful. You wouldn't have done well "on paper" purely through luck. I'm sure employers would have let you know if you were doing awfully!
    I struggled with depression/anxiety before, and I remember telling a counsellor that I thought I had liked my job but actually it was awful. Luckily I didn't quit as it seemed to be my mood catastrophing little things that had happened.
    It's not a perfect job but I do like it.
    Maybe yours just doesn't suit you, that career sounds like a very tough one. I'd agree you should focus on your maternity leave for now, but seek help if this guilt /thought process is causing problems. You might have some unfinished business with this job but you don't have to stay in that job/area of work forever.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,148 Princess Calla
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    Did you post on this before as this sounds fairly familiar?

    Maternity leave is a weird creature. The structure of your day is completely different to what you are used to in your professional day to day life. You're on your own for most of the day which leaves alot of time to over think scenarios and make them bigger than they are. The whole covid situation is also not helpful for support networks and meet ups.

    I've heard from so many mums that they spent their first maternity leave obsessing about work and the implications on their career etc that they ruined their time off. On their second maternity leave they sailed off into the sunset without a backward glance :) Try to tune out the work stuff and just concentrate on your time off.

    When the time comes to return to the office, then maybe evaluate where you want to go and if you want a career change, but now is not the time for big decisions. I would return to the office when my leave is up and see how I feel after 6 months or so.

    I think very few people end up where their 17 year old self thought they'd be. So don't be beating yourself up over this either.

    Take care of yourself. Having a baby is a massive life changing event, it's easy to find yourself overwhelmed.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,746 zoobizoo
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    I’m a in house solicitor. The amount is mistakes I have made is mind blowing.

    I’m now stuck in a job I dislike & to put in mildly am tragic at.

    I feel like a failure but that’s secondary to how guilty I feel for letting people down by not trying hard enough, missing details, procrastinating etc.

    I feel like such a sloth tbh. I think back to that girl doing the LC & think WTF happened.


    Firstly, if you were doing such a bad job you'd have been fired.

    Never feel guilty about making mistakes and procrastinating - you're human, it happens.

    You're a solicitor - so presumably you set out to become a solicitor and that was the goal you had when you left school. You succeeded at that. You also succeeded to get a job in the area you studied.

    You may not have asked yourself "would this type of work, day to day, suit me?"

    WTF happened might be that you got to where you thought you wanted to be, but now that you are there, you realise that it's not where you want to be. That happens.


  • Posts: 1,469 [Deleted User]
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    Hi OP,

    i qualified as a solicitor years and years ago, and despite being academically excellent (first class honours), it took me a long time to get good at the basics of the job. It's a very hard career to get a good grounding in, and imo, the Law Society training is pretty weak at actually preparing solicitors for the role (and law degrees even more useless).

    It's a hugely practical job, but you spend years getting training in legal theory before you get anywhere near the practical stuff. And then you are straight into the practical stuff where the theory is of very little use to you. The only way to get good at it (ime) is to take charge of your own learning, and unfortunately, making mistakes are part of the learning process. But always reflect on what you have learned from the mistakes. Always remind yourself how much you have already learned.

    I would say every solicitor in the country has faced conversations like you are having with yourself, if they are honest about it. It's a hard skill to pick up. Don't feel obliged to stay in what's a pretty unpleasant profession (at times) but equally don't discount everything you've learned so far.

    I honestly think this thread would merit being restarted in the legal discussion forum on here, to get feedback from more legal practitioners.

    Also, enjoy your mat leave, they grow up very fast so don't spend a valuable today worrying about a distant tomorrow.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,653 amdublin
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    Oh my gosh op, please don't be too hard on yourself, we ALL make mistakes at work. Over the years....over the days....

    Easier said than done, please try relax and enjoy your mat leave. I think it would be worthwhile talking it through with your GP also - I've had some great advice and perspective there over the years. When are you next back with your GP?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ILoveYourVibes
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    Hey OP.

    No 1 ...it takes TIME to learn about a job. No one is good from the start.

    No 2 ....You HAVE to make mistakes to learn.

    No 3 You seem to think that its all or nothing ...getting 500 points or being terrible at your job.

    NEITHER of those labels are REAL.

    As you can see 500 hundred points ...what does this mean? SIMILARLY .....making mistakes at a job what does THAT mean? Nothing.


    Neither of these things tell me about your intelligence or capability.

    STAY curious. Stay interested. Keep learning.

    Enjoy the leave ...then when its time to come back ..give it a go ..and then if you don't like it change.

    The idea you have of yourself now ...and the idea you have of yourself as a kid in the LC ...honestly neither of those are real ...


    Maybe you got burn out after the leaving?

    Also ..my mate is married to a solicitor ..NOW he is really successful ..but he told her that when he first started ..EVERYONE thought he was an idiot. REALLY. But he does great now.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 LegacyUser
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    Op Do you like your job? I'm not asking if your good at it etc..do you like it? Is it something you wanted to do or something you did because you got the points? My dad hated his job but he was the first in his family to go to college and was naturally academic so did very well and he followed the career path he was told he should take. Married and two kids, he found himself mid 40s and miserable. After a lot of soul searching he quit to go drive a truck, everyone thought he was mad but we supported him and he was so happy and he did well and was promoted quickly to manager and was earning more then his old job in a few years.

    If you like the job and its something you wanted to do then speak to someone in confidence about the struggles you are having and work at it.

    if you don't like the job....life is too short, find something you do like!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,359 jon1981
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    bilbot79 wrote: »
    Obviously the latter is the right thing to do and I'd recommend you sign up to the ToDoist app. Also watch this:

    https://www.ted.com/talks/tim_urban_inside_the_mind_of_a_master_procrastinator?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare


    Thanks for that ted talk! I can so identify with it!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 728 bertiebomber
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    HI if you dont enjoy being a solicitor then just walk away too many people reach old age wishing they did. Our culture of being an achiever has destroyed a lot of good creative people and turned them into drug addicts drinkers depressives.. Real life is short no second act if you hate it have the courage ( and thats a lot of courage ) to leave to give yourself a life you can be happy about. Forget all the apps and bull**** to make you continue you know you are unhappy so you do what is best for you . Many people have left the law as its not that stimulating in the bottom tier. Go for it now is a time of change for everyone take the leap and best of luck.


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