Strangers calling you 'my friend'?

Nykay

What do you think of strangers saying this to you? It could be something like "how are you my friend?" or "no problem my friend". I know it's not really Irish people who say it. I heard it said to me by a barber last I think.

When I hear it being said it kind of annoys me, because the person saying it thinks that it makes you feel good. But I think it's kind of deceptive. I just think to myself "we've never met before; if you want to be nice to me, you really don't have to pretend to be my friend".

py2006

They are just trying to be friendly.

Get over it.

Thelonious Monk

I like it, it's better than "mate" anyway

artanevilla

I would say it is very very very very very very very very very low on my list of priorities to even consider it an issue.

IAMAMORON

I hate it , pal.

breezy1985

Nykay wrote: »

What do you think of strangers saying this to you? It could be something like "how are you my friend?" or "no problem my friend". I know it's not really Irish people who say it. I heard it said to me by a barber last I think.

When I hear it being said it kind of annoys me, because the person saying it thinks that it makes you feel good. But I think it's kind of deceptive. I just think to myself "we've never met before; if you want to be nice to me, you really don't have to pretend to be my friend".

I think you must have a great life if this is all you have to worry bout

Nykay

breezy1985 wrote: »

I think you must have a great life if this is all you have to worry bout

I suppose it's better than 'boss'.

breezy1985

Nykay wrote: »

I suppose it's better than 'boss'.

If it's good enough for Bruce it's good enough for me

If you say so, "dude".

Sky King

'Look at me i have loads of friends'

screamer

Try being called “dawling” and then come back to me....

Mister Vain

I used to work with a very religious Nigerian chap you kept saying. "I pray for you my friend. I pray for you."

StackSteevens

Nykay wrote: »

What do you think of strangers saying this to you? It could be something like "how are you my friend?" or "no problem my friend". I know it's not really Irish people who say it. I heard it said to me by a barber last I think.

When I hear it being said it kind of annoys me, because the person saying it thinks that it makes you feel good. But I think it's kind of deceptive. I just think to myself "we've never met before; if you want to be nice to me, you really don't have to pretend to be my friend".

This brings me right back to those happy days when every letter from the Civil Service started with the words "A Chara" (and ended with "mise le meas") - hence it's definitely a traditional Irish greeting!

Mam of 4

It's better than "pet" ..

Spacific

Mam of 4 wrote:

It's better than "pet" ..

Or love

Did you say something to me Nooch?

Mister Vain

Mam of 4 wrote: »

It's better than "pet" ..

True. Better than prick too.

whisky_galore

The only kind of people I know that use "my friend" are scammers and/or stallholders of foreign holiday souvenir tat.

"You like?"
"Very good price for you, my friend".

suicide_circus

py2006 wrote: »

They are just trying to be friendly.

Get over it.

I don't agree. It's usually done in a manner to disguise (poorly) a certain level of aggression.

Gregor Samsa

Nykay wrote: »

When I hear it being said it kind of annoys me, because the person saying it thinks that it makes you feel good. But I think it's kind of deceptive. I just think to myself "we've never met before; if you want to be nice to me, you really don't have to pretend to be my friend".

You know that they're not actually pretending to be your friend, right? It's just an expression, it doesn't literally mean that they suddenly regard you as a close friend and that you have to reciprocate.

Some other things that aren't to be taken literally:


"Good morning". This isn't an instruction, just a greeting. You can be having a bad morning and still either say or hear this without offence.

"How's it going?". This again is a greeting, not an actual invitation to explain your current circumstances.

"See you later". This is a parting phrase that does not create an obligation to meet the person again.

"Yes sir!". This is a formal but polite response. It does not imply that you have been knighted by the British Monarch without your knowledge.

"fúck off, ya bollix". An informal, and somewhat crude, dismissal. This does not literally mean that you are an actual testicle, or that any kind of sexual activity is mandated.

A term of endearment ........ nothing wrong with it in most uses IMO.
I used to frequent a lovely Italian restaurant in Austria and the owner always greeted me enthusiastically with "Hello, my Irish friend".
On my last visit he had a picture of himself with Leo Varadkar to show me. Leo must have holidayed there in Summer 19.

Thelonious Monk

Pal can be quite passive aggressive, in Dublinese anyway

Flaccus

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWEkGzDyW_s

Oink

Buddy/mate. Urgh. if you’re a stranger looking for a favour, you’re not helping your cause.

Call me pal once and I’m gone.

But if you’re an 18 year old pup and you call me “son”, let’s just say I hope you’re not drowning and looking for my help.

Username here

I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND, GUY!!

JohnnyFlash

Amigo

Sardonicat

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

You know that they're not actually pretending to be your friend, right? It's just an expression, it doesn't literally mean that they suddenly regard you as a close friend and that you have to reciprocate.

Some other things that aren't to be taken literally:


"Good morning". This isn't an instruction, just a greeting. You can be having a bad morning and still either say or hear this without offence.

"How's it going?". This again is a greeting, not an actual invitation to explain your current circumstances.

"See you later". This is a parting phrase that does not create an obligation to meet the person again.

"Yes sir!". This is a formal but polite response. It does not imply that you have been knighted by the British Monarch without your knowledge.

"fúck off, ya bollix". An informal, and somewhat crude, dismissal. This does not literally mean that you are an actual testicle, or that any kind of sexual activity is mandated.

Similarly 'Go on out of that' is not an instruction to climb onto or out of anything. 'Get real' does not imply that prior to the instruction you have existed only as a figment if someone's imagination.

I like this game!

breezy1985

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

Pal can be quite passive aggressive, in Dublinese anyway

Anyone says "buddy" to me and I'm gone purely because my brain associates it with Dubs who want my money

ablelocks

Nykay wrote: »

What do you think of strangers saying this to you? It could be something like "how are you my friend?" or "no problem my friend". I know it's not really Irish people who say it. I heard it said to me by a barber last I think.

When I hear it being said it kind of annoys me, because the person saying it thinks that it makes you feel good. But I think it's kind of deceptive. I just think to myself "we've never met before; if you want to be nice to me, you really don't have to pretend to be my friend".

you ok, hun?

ablelocks

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

Some other things that aren't to be taken literally:


"How's it going?". This again is a greeting, not an actual invitation to explain your current circumstances.

until it is, and then you get a full account of how it is, in fact, going for them - and usually, it's not a good story.

pappyodaniel

"My friend? You like chilli or garlic sauce on your kebab?"

breezy1985

ablelocks wrote: »

until it is, and then you get a full account of how it is, in fact, going for them - and usually, it's not a good story.

"How are things" and "how are you" are phrases that should never be used round the literal minded English.

I used say it as a barman over and the reply would be pan account of their day followed by silence as they stare patiently as they wait for you to ask what drink they would like.
They couldn't understand the concept that the barman didn't actually care how things were.

kravmaga

That's like real Dubs saying, ah right Pal, Buddy, Bud, Lad, Dude(D4 Head types) and Mate (UK mainly).

Its a way to try and break the ice with a stranger, I would not read too much into it OP.

Could be worse, All right My Friend, Ya Bollix :-)

Church on Tuesday

Alright chuck.

WesternZulu

Probably better than being called 'scan' or 'sham' depending on what part of North Galway you find yourself.

Interested Bystander

I used to live in South Carolina, once you get called 'hot rod' by a middle aged man, anything is an improvement.

People being fake is one thing but if someone is being friendly and doesn't know what to call you, i'm everyone's buddy, pal, friend, mate or lad
Just don't call me dotey pet

Sardonicat

Interested Bystander wrote: »

Just don't call me dotey pet

Who calls you that!?

440Hertz

People just gave crutch words.

I know someone who calls me “Me ould segotia!”

Interested Bystander

Sardonicat wrote: »

Who calls you that!?

No-one thankfully, but i've heard it going around. *shootmyself in the face emoji*

Sardonicat

Interested Bystander wrote: »

No-one thankfully, but i've heard it going around. *shootmyself in the face emoji*

I thought you might have an older female friend with a soft spot for you. I was going to suggest doubling down on the boundaries!

John Frank Wilson

I don't particularly like this either, but I'm sure it's often meant in a friendly way. If someone says it to me, online we'll say... - I will reluctantly return it with a 'bud' or 'buddy', I couldn't bring myself to return with 'my friend', but I do understand they are just using 'my friend' the same way I am using 'buddy', in other words - to simply convey a bit of warmth in the conversation!

Conversely - I don't think I could utter the word 'buddy' out loud! Unless I was taking off Keith Duffy or something... I think I could however utter the word 'friend', but certainly not with the word 'my' attached, not to a stranger.

Autosport

440Hertz wrote: »

People just gave crutch words.

I know someone who calls me “Me ould segotia!”

I use that phrase only for special people

breezy1985

Speak friend and enter

John Frank Wilson

440Hertz wrote: »

People just gave crutch words.

I know someone who calls me “Me ould segotia!”

I have a jumper I've worn so much that I call it 'Me auld Pal'. And it is just that, warm - friendly... warm - never lets you down, always there for me.

My auld pal the Jumper!

Hyperbollix

John Frank Wilson wrote: »

I have a jumper I've worn so much that I call it 'Me auld Pal'. And it is just that, warm - friendly... warm - never lets you down, always there for me.

My auld pal the Jumper!

U ok................


Hun?

John Frank Wilson

Hyperbollix wrote: »

U ok................


Hun?

I'm fine chick.

IAMAMORON

Listen Bud.

Sardonicat

IAMAMORON wrote: »

Listen Bud.

You leave my dotey pet alone, chum!

Deub

It is the same friend that some people have on Facebook. People that you met once and never saw or spoke again.

The Tetrarch

We have not been formally introduced.

Nodster

.........don't 'bro' me if ya don't know me