Depressed Boyfriend

LegacyUser

My boyfriend of 3 years (mid-twenties) has always suffered from depression. He used to drink an awful lot. The lockdown gave him a lot of time to think about all of this and he now drinks very infrequently and limits how much he drinks. He hasn’t even been to a pub since they opened again. He has cut an awful lot of people out of his life who were drinking, had negative mindsets and were into drugs. I can really see that is trying his utmost to turn his life around.

He has a very stressful job and it is really causing him an awful lot of anxiety. He has been saying for months that he doesn’t want to do it anymore. He says it affecting his mental health and he wants to quit. He does want another job but wants to quit this one before he gets it. I don’t think he has been to work today so I am guessing he will be fired.

I have been so anxious. I am worried for him, because he will have no money to live and will this make him more depressed as a result. I said this to him and he said that he just can’t take it anymore. He told me I was unsupportive. I don’t live with him, so it’s not like it will affect me directly regarding bills so there isn’t much I can say

I was helping him apply for jobs today. I don’t really know what else to say or do for him. Could anyone please offer some advice.

Jenneke87

As someone who also suffered from (albeit a mild form of) depression, I can understand his desire to run away from things when it gets too much. I can also tell from experience that that tends not to end very well, especially when it concerns your job. If he really can't take anymore then let him resign and go on the dole when he is entitled to, stress really can make depression so much worse.

Do you know if he is doing anything else to manage it? Therapy, medication, exercise, etc. These things can help a lot.

statto25

anon082020 wrote: »

My boyfriend of 3 years (mid-twenties) has always suffered from depression. He used to drink an awful lot. The lockdown gave him a lot of time to think about all of this and he now drinks very infrequently and limits how much he drinks. He hasn’t even been to a pub since they opened again. He has cut an awful lot of people out of his life who were drinking, had negative mindsets and were into drugs. I can really see that is trying his utmost to turn his life around.

He has a very stressful job and it is really causing him an awful lot of anxiety. He has been saying for months that he doesn’t want to do it anymore. He says it affecting his mental health and he wants to quit. He does want another job but wants to quit this one before he gets it. I don’t think he has been to work today so I am guessing he will be fired.

I have been so anxious. I am worried for him, because he will have no money to live and will this make him more depressed as a result. I said this to him and he said that he just can’t take it anymore. He told me I was unsupportive. I don’t live with him, so it’s not like it will affect me directly regarding bills so there isn’t much I can say

I was helping him apply for jobs today. I don’t really know what else to say or do for him. Could anyone please offer some advice.

First step is to visit your boyfriends GP and speak to them. Go with him if he will allow it. The GP may recommend medication but it's your BFs decision to take them. They will probably also recommend visiting a counsellor and this is the key part as talk therapy will allow him tell the story of what's going on in his head. You say he's always suffered from depression so there may be something that's causing this apart from work. Fair play for recognising his anxiety as your understanding will help him in the long run. Look after yourselves