If you could be a superhero, or a villainous superhero.

Kylta · 31-07-2020 8:01am #1

This I imagine was probably done before.

If you were granted extraordinary powers would you be a superhero or a villainous superhero?
And since your deciding who you are?
You can decide what powers you possess?

I would like to be Deleteman, so I could delete all the boxology on boards starting with this thread.

unhappys10 · 31-07-2020 8:05am

Most people are dicks so I'd probably be a bad superhero, I'd look out for myself and my family and fcuk the rest of ye.
Superpowers would include the ability to make people sh1te in their trousers at will.

Quantum Erasure · 31-07-2020 8:08am

How about the power to kill a yak from 200 yards, with mind bullets...

Kylta · 31-07-2020 8:09am

If

unhappys10 wrote: »

Most people are dicks so I'd probably be a bad superhero, I'd look out for myself and my family and fcuk the rest of ye.
Superpowers would include the ability to make people sh1te in their trousers at will.

So maybe media would call you the Diarrhoea Dude, thats cool.
Could you picture the panic buying for toilet rolls, if Diarrhoea Dude was in town, toilet rolls and ring sting cream sales would go through the roof. I mean the arse wouldn't fall out of that market. Oh no pun intended

unhappys10 · 31-07-2020 8:30am

Great name, I could have a brown costume with a cape made from toilet roll.
I'd start off with so called influencers, there wouldn't be enough toilet roll in the world to clean up their sh1te.

Dublinandy3 · 31-07-2020 8:33am

unhappys10 wrote: »

Great name, I could have a brown costume with a cape made from toilet roll.
I'd start off with so called influencers, there wouldn't be enough toilet roll in the world to clean up their sh1te.

Wouldn't your actions by default turn you into an influencer given you'd be influencing how people behave online and what they do/don't do in life?

Dravokivich · 31-07-2020 8:33am

I'd move toilets slightly further away from someone who is now bursting to go, but had an opportunity to use it earlier.

unhappys10 · 31-07-2020 8:50am

Dublinandy3 wrote: »

Wouldn't your actions by default turn you into an influencer given you'd be influencing how people behave online and what they do/don't do in life?

Jeez you're right.
Luckily though, my cape is made from toilet roll so at least I can stay squeeky clean.

Rodney Bathgate · 31-07-2020 8:53am

unhappys10 wrote: »

Jeez you're right.
Luckily though, my cape is made from toilet roll so at least I can stay squeeky clean.

Wear an adult nappy.

Wombatman · 31-07-2020 8:57am

Villainous superhero? Supervillain maybe?

Rodney Bathgate · 31-07-2020 8:58am

Wombatman wrote: »

Villainous superhero? Supervillain maybe?

You already have the name picked out.

randd1 · 31-07-2020 9:20am

I'd want omnipotence.

That way I could materialise rashers, fresh bread, wonderful cheddar cheese and some fresh crunchy lettuce from thin air, then put the rashers between the two slice of bread, add cheddar cheese to each slice and the crispy lettuce, and using my mind cook the rashers, toast the bread and melt the cheese to perfection, all while keeping the lettuce crispy at the same time.

And then afterwards, using teleportation, remove the fat deposits from said toasted sandwich from within my body, and break them down to their elemental parts for re-use by the planet.

Simply because I could. It's the simple pleasures in life that make life worth living.

And I'd remove RTE.

Kylta · 31-07-2020 9:20am

If you teamed up Diarrhoea Dude, with a side lick called the Urinator, well then the world would actually be a massive toilet bowl

neris · 31-07-2020 9:56am

Kylta wrote: »

If you teamed up Diarrhoea Dude, with a side lick called the Urinator, well then the world would actually be a massive toilet bowl

Already is, full of turds and ****e

PsychoPete · 31-07-2020 9:59am

There is only one villain I'd want to be

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salmocab · 31-07-2020 10:00am

randd1 wrote: »

I'd want omnipotence.

That way I could materialise rashers, fresh bread, wonderful cheddar cheese and some fresh crunchy lettuce from thin air, then put the rashers between the two slice of bread, add cheddar cheese to each slice and the crispy lettuce, and using my mind cook the rashers, toast the bread and melt the cheese to perfection, all while keeping the lettuce crispy at the same time.

And then afterwards, using teleportation, remove the fat deposits from said toasted sandwich from within my body, and break them down to their elemental parts for re-use by the planet.

Simply because I could. It's the simple pleasures in life that make life worth living.

And I'd remove RTE.

Would it not be easier to materialise the sandwich ready to eat just how you like it?

randd1 · 31-07-2020 10:11am

salmocab wrote: »

Would it not be easier to materialise the sandwich ready to eat just how you like it?

Yeah you could, but then you wouldn't have that satisfied feeling of having made the sandwich from individual parts.

Filmer Paradise · 31-07-2020 12:55pm

My wife informs me that in bed I can be no less than 3 superheros!:cool:

Bedhog, Quilthog & Sausageroll. \0/

JohnnyFlash · 31-07-2020 12:58pm

My young fella made me go to the cinema to watch that avengers movie. The superheroes were all so dislikable that I was siding with your man Thermos who wanted to blow up the universe. Wouldn’t blame him tbh.

Smacruairi · 31-07-2020 1:00pm

I'd like to be the guy from the Trebor Softmints ad, Mr. Soft. Just looked a minty version of the Fonz

Dublinandy3 · 31-07-2020 5:46pm

Smacruairi wrote: »

I'd like to be the guy from the Trebor Softmints ad, Mr. Soft. Just looked a minty version of the Fonz

Problem is nowadays the fonz would be on some sort of register. A 40 year old guy hanging around with teenagers all the time with all the girls after him. All that was missing was a puppy and bag of sweets

Kylta · 31-07-2020 6:03pm

Dublinandy3 wrote: »

Problem is nowadays the fonz would be on some sort of register. A 40 year old guy hanging around with teenagers all the time with all the girls after him. All that was missing was a puppy and bag of sweets

And they'd have to change the theme tune lyrics.
Good bye great skies
hello arbour hill
I got locked over a youngster
Who forget to take the pill

31-07-2020 6:09pm

Quantum Erasure wrote: »

How about the power to kill a yak from 200 yards, with mind bullets...

That's telekinesis Kyle

AllForIt · 31-07-2020 6:22pm

I would be deleteuserfromboardsforeverman, delete Kylta, then transform back to AllForIt, step into a machine that take's away all my powers and never be able to transform to deleteuserfromboardsforeverman ever again. And then have a nice cup of tea.

Kylta · 31-07-2020 8:07pm

AllForIt wrote: »

I would be deleteuserfromboardsforeverman, delete Kylta, then transform back to AllForIt, step into a machine that take's away all my powers and never be able to transform to deleteuserfromboardsforeverman ever again. And then have a nice cup of tea.

What happens if kylta comes back again, and all your powers are gone

31-07-2020 8:26pm

I'd be Uncomfortably Bloated Girl.

I'd have the power to make all my enemies so uncomfortably bloated after eating that they would burst out of their waistbands and publicly embarrass themselves. They'd rue the day they crossed me, I can tell you.