Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Feeling guilty over sexting a girl

  • 22-06-2020 7:56pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hey everyone. I've a problem that's been racking my brain the bast two weeks. I've been dating a girl for 3 months now. We went on 2 dates before the covid lock down and were doing some video calls and messaging a lot when all the restrictions were in place. She lives 10 miles away so we couldn't see each other in person again until last week.

    Two weeks ago I had a weak moment and messaged an old fling of mine. I had a couple of drinks in me at the time and we ended up sexting and sending snaps on snapchat. I'm far from some sort of player and very very rarely meet up with girls. I think at the time in my own mind I wasn't treating what I had with the girl I'm dating as a relationship because we had only been on two physical dates and hadn't slept together. I drew some sort of disconnect because it was all over my phone bar 2 dates. But none of that is an excuse, just some sort of explanation of where my head was at.

    I immediately regretted it and deleted the number of the girl I sexted. It feels like I've cheated on her and I feel really guilty about it. We never said we were exclusive, but we both said we were off the dating apps. Maybe that was an implication, but I wasn't expecting exclusivity from her at the time.

    How do I get rid of this guilt I'm feeling? Should I be open and honest with her? I really like her and feel like it could turn into something serious but don't want this hanging over me. Do I bring up the topic of exclusivity and see where she feels we are right now?


Comments

  • #2
    cannotlogin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,172 ✭✭✭cannotlogin


    This will probably sound a bit contradictory as I hate cheating but in this case, you've been on two dates, haven't decided you are exclusive and haven't slept together.

    Everyone has their own standards and deal breakers.

    To me, there's often a little bit of a grey area at the start until you both know you are on the same page & it's not like you were sleeping with them both at the same time when they both thought it was just them.

    If you like her, maybe say nothing but agree where ye stand with each other and remain exclusive thereafter with no sexting others etc.


  • #3
    sunshinew
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 111 ✭✭sunshinew


    I agree with the poster above. I'd be 100% anti cheating normally and couldn't support a friend if I knew they did it... However, it's very early days for you both and the world of dating has changed. I think if you're not sleeping together yet no real damage has been done here. It was only through texts so I'd keep it to yourself. However is there a chance she would ever meet the other girl in your social circle?


  • #4
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 14,914 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    I would suggest you say nothing. One of a couple of things could happen.

    She'll be upset and not want to contact you again.
    She'll tell you it's fine, because she was doing the same thing with an old flame.

    How would that make you feel?

    Forget it. But don't go back there.


Advertisement