Dumped During Coronavirus Lockdown

LegacyUser

I texted my boyfriend today, whom I haven't seen since lockdown started as it was a long distance relationship, and he phoned me back to dump me. The reason was that he'd started seeing someone else who lives in the same city as him. He also said that he didn't see our relationship going anywhere. Then he made some polite brief chat, and then said he was in a hurry and he would have to go. So I said I guess this is goodbye for good (because we are not exactly likely to bump into each other and we no longer have mutual friends) and we would probably never see each other again, and we said goodbye.

I'm feeling so sad. We were getting on fine, no arguments, although no signs of commitment on his part. He said in his phone call that he wasn't a good boyfriend for me to have and he wasn't into commitment, but clearly he thinks he is for this other girl. We have known each other for 14 years, took 8 years to get together, split up for a year and then have been together again for nearly 3 years. So that's by far the longest I've known anyone in my entire life, other than family. And now whoosh! Gone.

What gets me is that he said he was self-isolating when I suggested visiting during lockdown and all the time he was obviously meeting this other girl. Whom he obviously prefers to me.

Ah well. I hardly wish him to be alone for the rest of his life.

Ironically, another guy from my own city that I knew from a few years back got in touch with me a few weeks ago and suggested meeting up, and I gave him the brush off because I was happy with my boyfriend! I couldn't do to him what he did to me.

Oh, I am sad. I know it will pass, but I've had such a bad week, lost one of my part time jobs and sources of income due to Covid, and my horse went badly lame.

Upforthematch

Youre obviously a really kind hearted person Op because I would be spitting fire if I were in your shoes. Together 3 years, he refuses to see you, he cheats and then he's in a hurry after he calls you to dump you. I be setting the dog or horse after him (if he wasn't lame), he'd be in a hurry then.

It's ok to mourn the relationship you had. It clearly meant a lot to you. However, I think you've dodged a bullet here. Look at the way that when temptation came your way, you did the right thing, that's character. Be proud op, you will find your prince!

Bythefire

I'm sorry to hear that, you aren't alone, I was dumped too, he was committed so no warning signs.

Do what you need to do now, cry, wallow, watch movies, try contact family and friends if you are living alone. I have found since things are getting back to a bit of normality now, I can get out more which can be a welcome distraction.

I wish I could say something to make it better, I know nobody can. Just be kind to yourself and don't feel alone.

Nicky88

So Sad Right Now wrote: »

no need to quote entire post

Plenty more fish in the sea

peckerhead

So Sad Right Now wrote: »

I couldn't do to him what he did to me.

And so, despite the sadness, it's better that this has happened now rather than another way down the line.

I was once in your position - my LDR partner of 2 years suddenly 'didn't see a future for us' because we live in different countries. Fair enough, but it was after she'd met another guy. The most hurtful part was knowing that for some time before she could bring herself to tell me I was for the chop, she'd clearly checked out in her own mind and was happy enough to entertain other 'prospects' while keeping me as a fallback.

I was devastated, and it took a long time to get over the hurt (it was my first serious relationship in the three years since I'd been separated, following a long and unhappy marriage - another story). But (a) it taught me a lot, and (b), at the end of the day, in much the same way as you've put it yourself, above - the two of us clearly had very different ideas about what a relationship is about.

And I am all better now.

Chin up, move on, cut him out of your life. You deserve someone more loyal, and you'll find him.

jimd2

So Sad Right Now wrote: »

Ironically, another guy from my own city that I knew from a few years back got in touch with me a few weeks ago and suggested meeting up, and I gave him the brush off because I was happy with my boyfriend! I couldn't do to him what he did to me.

Oh, I am sad. I know it will pass, but I've had such a bad week, lost one of my part time jobs and sources of income due to Covid, and my horse went badly lame.

Sorry about that. Poor form on his part.

Would you be interested in making contact back with the guy that contacted you? You could make some excuse related to the lockdown.

pgj2015

So Sad Right Now wrote: »

I texted my boyfriend today, whom I haven't seen since lockdown started as it was a long distance relationship, and he phoned me back to dump me. The reason was that he'd started seeing someone else who lives in the same city as him. He also said that he didn't see our relationship going anywhere. Then he made some polite brief chat, and then said he was in a hurry and he would have to go. So I said I guess this is goodbye for good (because we are not exactly likely to bump into each other and we no longer have mutual friends) and we would probably never see each other again, and we said goodbye.

I'm feeling so sad. We were getting on fine, no arguments, although no signs of commitment on his part. He said in his phone call that he wasn't a good boyfriend for me to have and he wasn't into commitment, but clearly he thinks he is for this other girl. We have known each other for 14 years, took 8 years to get together, split up for a year and then have been together again for nearly 3 years. So that's by far the longest I've known anyone in my entire life, other than family. And now whoosh! Gone.

What gets me is that he said he was self-isolating when I suggested visiting during lockdown and all the time he was obviously meeting this other girl. Whom he obviously prefers to me.

Ah well. I hardly wish him to be alone for the rest of his life.

Ironically, another guy from my own city that I knew from a few years back got in touch with me a few weeks ago and suggested meeting up, and I gave him the brush off because I was happy with my boyfriend! I couldn't do to him what he did to me.

Oh, I am sad. I know it will pass, but I've had such a bad week, lost one of my part time jobs and sources of income due to Covid, and my horse went badly lame.

I bet he did. I have had calls and texts from women I was seeing in the past or women who I have known. all texting me looking to meet up. all looking for 1 thing. be careful with this other guy, he might be after the same thing. you mightn't want someone like that around after getting dumped.

LegacyUser

jimd2 wrote: »

Sorry about that. Poor form on his part.

Would you be interested in making contact back with the guy that contacted you? You could make some excuse related to the lockdown.

Had a date with him yesterday. It went well, he texted back that night to arrange to meet up again.

I don't like him all that much, and suspect he is only after a bit of fun, but he has cheered me up. He's a good looking guy.

I still can't believe I got dumped because of Coronavirus! Lockdown has been such a miserable time and had been really getting me down as it was, with most of the things I do for fun and relaxation cancelled and then Boom! The one person I was really excited and looking forward to seeing again dumped me. I texted my ex a few times (5 texts, all with replies from him), asking him to meet up to tell me in person and tell me its over for good, as we have split and got back together a number of times, and he blocked my number! Funnily enough, I didn't feel so bad after he did that. Its like theres really nothing I can do about it now.

I actually had to visit my ex's city at the weekend to check on a rented flat I have up there which had become vacant. Its on the outskirts of the city, so I just avoided going downtown and actually had quite a decent time as the scenery on the edge of where my flat is is great. I had been dreading going up there and being alone but for some reason it was actually kind of uplifting.