SAHM jitters about returning to work

Sunrise_Sunset

I've been a stay at home mother for the past few years. I always said I would return to the workforce when they were both in school. That time is creeping up on me now and I feel the time has come to start applying for jobs.
Ideally I'd want part time but those hours are very hard to come by. Also we are in such uncertain times now, and with a recession looming, will there even be any jobs to apply for? I know I wouldn't be going back at the same level or salary that I was at, I would be starting back quite low. Is it even worth it?
I feel very anxious and almost nauseous at the idea of leaving my kids and going to work full time. I'm wondering if others have felt the same and if the feeling passed quickly once you returned to work? I do feel that given the uncertain times I would like to start contributing financially to our household. It'd be less scary to have 2 incomes than 1 right now. I feel very torn.

zapper55

What you are feeling is completely natural. Many of my friends are senior managers in their organisations and they all felt like you did when they returned from maternity leave. And you've been out of the workforce for longer so it's even more intimidating. Will people think differently of you as you may have to go if your child is sick, do you have up to date industry experience etc. What you are forgetting is that the experience, skills and judgement you acquired during your career is still with you.

Yes it does get better. Also you are thinking ahead to what if you cant find a job etc. Take it one step at a time. Do you have any friends that have gone back that could recommend a good recuitment company? Apply for jobs, practise interviews.

I'm in a high pressure job and honestly think it's way less stressful than being a stay at home mam. You have no time to yourself, little adult interaction and are often trying to reason with little minds that aren't yet developed enough to understand.

Best of luck.

Princess Calla

Have you looked at any springboard courses... Some of them are geared to returning parents.

The immediate future is anyone's guess. While the extra income is very much welcomed how would the stress of juggling childcare etc be if trying to work and mind your own children if lockdowns continue?

In normal times I would totally encourage returning to work, at the moment though I think sit tight for the next while. Look at online courses etc to increase your employability.

Best of luck

Sunrise_Sunset

Thanks for the reassurance. I have completed a couple of courses while I've been off work. This has helped somewhat with my confidence. I guess there'd be no harm in doing another one during this uncertain time.
I thought I would feel ready to return to work by now, and I've been building up to it for ages. But now that it's almost time I just don't feel ready. I know friends that have struggled going back after maternity leave too, just like I did after my first baby. They have told me it did get easier over time. I've been off for so long though. Financially it's not a necessity, we manage on one salary. However, who knows what's going to happen in the coming months, hubbie could have to take a pay cut or worse, lose his job, then we'd be in a pickle. I suppose I could do something like child minding in my own home for some extra cash if needed.

s4uv3

I'm in the very same boat, and the lockdown has made the decision for me :pac:
Kids are 3 and 2, and I've been home with them since eldest was born. Like you, I'm extremely nervous about leaving them with a minder, I'm a bit of a control freak when it comes to looking after them etc.
I have a job lined up, just waiting on a position to open and I'll be out the door! Financially we're doing fine on one income, but me working would put us in a very decent position.
The attitude I'm taking is that if the kids are unhappy or it's too stressful or just not working, then I'll revert back to staying at home for another few years. So worst case scenario, we just end up back where we are now.

Sunrise_Sunset

s4uv3 wrote: »

I'm in the very same boat, and the lockdown has made the decision for me :pac:
Kids are 3 and 2, and I've been home with them since eldest was born. Like you, I'm extremely nervous about leaving them with a minder, I'm a bit of a control freak when it comes to looking after them etc.
I have a job lined up, just waiting on a position to open and I'll be out the door! Financially we're doing fine on one income, but me working would put us in a very decent position.
The attitude I'm taking is that if the kids are unhappy or it's too stressful or just not working, then I'll revert back to staying at home for another few years. So worst case scenario, we just end up back where we are now.

That's a good attitude to have towards it. It actually cheered me up a bit reading that as I applied for a position last week, had 3 interviews and was offered the job. It is full time though. Since I got the offer I've been contemplating; am I ready? will we manage? is it even worth it (both financially and mentally)?
In one sense though I feel I'd be mad to turn it down. This company are offering me an "in" after years of being off work, and during covid times too. The salary isn't amazing (but I wasn't expecting it to be anyway), but it's enough that after paying for childcare we'd have a little left over to put towards other things. I'm hoping there could be opportunities to continue working from home a couple of days a week, even after the restrictions are lifted, although the MD of the company didn't really seem to be an advocate for it herself, but who knows what could happen in the future, working from home could become much more commonplace.
I'd be very anxious about leaving them with a minder, but at least they are of the age that they can speak to me and tell me things, if they were unhappy. But you make a very good point, worst case scenario you just end back where you are now.

RentDayBlues

I returned to work in 2017 after being at home for 3 years. It was 4 days per week and while we coped it was far from ideal. Childcare costs, missing milestones, pressure from work to do more than my main hours - all came to a head 18 months later when issue arose with childminder and I handed in my notice.

Decided to concentrate on finding something part time - 8 months later I started a part time role. The kids have never been happier - I drop them to school, go to work and pick them up after school.

We’re better off financially with me working part time and not paying childcare, everyone is happier. It’s hard when they are unwell or holidays but we work around it

Sunrise_Sunset

RentDayBlues wrote: »

I returned to work in 2017 after being at home for 3 years. It was 4 days per week and while we coped it was far from ideal. Childcare costs, missing milestones, pressure from work to do more than my main hours - all came to a head 18 months later when issue arose with childminder and I handed in my notice.

Decided to concentrate on finding something part time - 8 months later I started a part time role. The kids have never been happier - I drop them to school, go to work and pick them up after school.

We’re better off financially with me working part time and not paying childcare, everyone is happier. It’s hard when they are unwell or holidays but we work around it

Yup, I'm worried about all of the above. I really am. I'm going to give it a shot though.
If I can't continue to work remotely a couple of days a week on a more permanent basis I don't think I would be able to continue with the job.
On the other hand, with an almost certain recession coming, maybe they'd even cut my hours back to part time, who knows.