Putting 19mth Old Down @ Night

TedsRevengeP

Hey

We have a 19mth old. We put him down about 6.30pm at night. He generally sleeps ok when down. My query is about actually putting him down. We think we've created a bad routine.

One of us heads upstairs about 6.30, read some books for a short while and then - in his room with just nightlight on, we give him his last bottle, while holding him. Then we put him in his cot and sit with him until he falls asleep. He usually needs us to put a hand on him/hold his hand. It's not the end of the world to do, but that's the only way he goes to sleep.

Any advice on how to move on from this would be good. Or is this even a problem in the greater scheme of things? In general he does sleep well when he's gone down

Thanks.

Electric Nitwit

Honestly, that sounds absolutely fine to me!
If you don't mind the time taken yourself then I wouldn't worry about it for a second

We have a similar enough routine with our 23 month old. Once it doesn't take too long, I just enjoy the chilled out time with her

lazygal

That is a lovely way to fall asleep, happy and secure!

I still breastfeed my child who's about the same age to sleep every night and for naptimes. See username, I'm lazy and all about the path of least resistance and hassle. Dad does a bath, chat and brush teeth then into me for a feed and he drops off quickly 90% of the time. Had a very similar routine with the older two until it gradually changed as they got a bit older. When I'm on a late shift himself does the routine minus a feed and he goes down fine without it.

bee06

I still stay with my 2.5 year old until he falls asleep. He won’t need me for ever and it works for us. It’s only a problem if you don’t want to do it anymore.

anndub

We had a similar routine with our first and foolishly thought what we were doing was wrong (we seemed to be surrounded by people, family in particular, who could just pop their child in the cot every night and walk away, I know better than to believe that now!) . Tried two or three times to leave her go to sleep alone leading to a crying toddler and two stressed out parents who eventually threw in the towel after a week or two and went back to bottle in the room and cuddling or hand holding to sleep.

Eventually, on moving to a bed actually, she decided herself she no longer wanted us. Now at almost age three she orders us to get out of the bedroom every night! My husband, who was the bigger worrier about "bad habits" has admitted he really really misses the nighttime snuggles now. So enjoy it while it lasts, it won't be forever.

And by the way, she's a much better sleeper now than any of the kids that were "self settling". Still naps like a pro every day and we don't see her before 8am any morning! I think feeling secure in their sleep helps them in the long term. Going to bed shouldn't feel like an excercise in abandonment.

kandr10

I did exactly that with my daughter. She was about 3 or close to it when she didn’t need us to stay with her. As lazygal said, it’s a lovely safe and secure way for them to sleep. No phase lasts forever!

TedsRevengeP

Thanks, everyone. Good to hear.

Obviously some nights it's 10mins and he's asleep, other times it's half an hour. I presume that's the norm also?

Cash_Q

Our 19 month old still falls asleep on the bottle then we transfer her into the cot. I often think we should change it but it works and she goes down in a deep sleep. She still occasionally wakes for milk during the night which is torture as I'm pregnant and not sleeping great as it is, but sure it settles her.

It's really reassuring to read the comments here, it won't last forever and we will miss these days sometime no doubt!

fits

If its not a problem for you or baby, its not a problem!

bee06

TedsRevengeP wrote: »

Thanks, everyone. Good to hear.

Obviously some nights it's 10mins and he's asleep, other times it's half an hour. I presume that's the norm also?

My 2 year old could take an hour. When I get frustrated I remember that sometimes it takes me longer to fall asleep than other nights. I also find it harder to sleep when I’m in the bed alone. The world seems to have higher expectations of children to sleep than adults.

kandr10

TedsRevengeP wrote: »

Thanks, everyone. Good to hear.

Obviously some nights it's 10mins and he's asleep, other times it's half an hour. I presume that's the norm also?

My husband and I were only saying we’re looking forward to doing this second time around. We have a plan to camp out in the kids room with cups of tea, a kindle a pair of headphones and chill out rather than stressing how long it takes. We’ll see how are our best laid plans go but point is - enjoy the few minutes to yourself whatever it may be!

Bell Eve

I have a 20month old and we do something very similar. Our routine starts at 6:30 too - up to the bedroom, change into pjs etc and then after reading a book she goes into her cot and either my husband or I sit on the floor beside her and let her have our hand if she wants it. It works for us and she never objects to going upstairs at bedtime!

The only difference really is the bottle part - she hasn’t drank from a bottle since she was 12months but we do have a cup for her. Once she’s put into her cot she gets a drink of water from her cup and she gives it back when she has had enough. If you wanted to transition your son from you giving him his last bottle while holding him, could you let him feed it to himself while he’s in his cot?

Either way, don’t worry about your routine! Getting your son to sleep nice and early and in a peaceful routine like you’ve described isn’t doing him any harm as far as I’m concerned!

ShaShaBear

We had a very similar routine with both our girls, and it only really changed when it came time for them to go into a bed and out of our room. We put an armchair in the room for sitting on with our first so we could continue the routine if needed (we got her a plastic toddler bed and no way in hell was it going to hold my weight :P ) and then removed it when the second got her own bed and got to share with sister (Irish twins).

In your case, it seems like they are utterly content, so I would leave it be. If it was excessive and they were waking every hour looking you back, that would be different.

Minier81

Your bedtime routine sounds wonderful OP. I'm lying with my 21 month old breastfeeding to sleep as I type, will move her to cot once asleep. If this ever doesn't work then one of us lies on the floor (with comfy pillows) beside the cot until she's asleep. It works for us. We were never willing to let her cry to sleep so politely ignored all that advice. You are doing a great job and if its working then stick with it. Nothing lasts forever.

5starpool

We always stayed with our eldest until asleep until he was a little under 2, but then tried just leaving after we said goodnight after putting him in the cot and reading 2 stories, and he stayed quiet until he fell asleep. That was about a year ago, and aside from cutting out the pre-bedtime bottle very soon after that and moving him into a toddler bed since, the routine is still largely the same. We have a 6 month old now and we're doing similar with him. As others say, if it works for you all, stick with it. Every child is different though.

Moonbeam

At that age I put mine in the cot and switched on their cd player ,they would have their favorite teddy or blanket and some toys and would play for a while then go to sleep.
I think I put them to bed about 8:30.