Over reliant on dummy

kaykay27

Hi guys

I need some advice...my little guy is 9 weeks old (was born 3 weeks early and is a twin) and is massively over reliant on his dummy during the day.

Surprisingly once he falls asleep we can take out the dummy and he doesn’t wake up during the night/day naps looking for it. The problem is the rest of the time...he constantly needs to have his dummy and if he doesnt or if it falls out he has a complete and utter meltdown.

Can anyone give any tips as to how we can get him to self soothe during his awake time and reduce his reliance on his dummy.

Thank you!

fits

Kayla you have twins and they are 9 weeks old. It’s some busy time. If the dummy is keeping baby settled I’d roll with it. One of mine used one and he ditched it with a little encouragement around 6 months. However in retrospect I wish he had kept it a bit longer.

loalae

At 9 weeks old it's completely fine.

kaykay27

fits wrote: »

Kayla you have twins and they are 9 weeks old. It’s some busy time. If the dummy is keeping baby settled I’d roll with it. One of mine used one and he ditched it with a little encouragement around 6 months. However in retrospect I wish he had kept it a bit longer.

Thanks Fits....it’s just getting to the stage he needs the dummy ALL the time....he is losing it while being burped during feeds because he doesn’t have the bottle or dummy in his mouth for a while 2 minutes....I’m just worried I’ve created a dummy monster who can’t function without one

kaykay27

loalae wrote: »

At 9 weeks old it's completely fine.

Thanks loalae....maybe it’s just me being an irrational first time mum...it’s just that his brother can self soothe and uses it for comfort only whereas this little guy needs it as a necessity

shesty

9 weeks and twins.Some babies are just needy!Dummy users here, you could just keep it for sleep.But that age I would let him at it.As he gets a wee bit bigger, you can take it out if he is not sleeping and as he is more alert he might gradually get used to it.

I have zero expectations of anything regarding habits before at least 12 weeks myself.Can always gently work on things after that, you have plenty of time.

kaykay27

shesty wrote: »

9 weeks and twins.Some babies are just needy!Dummy users here, you could just keep it for sleep.But that age I would let him at it.As he gets a wee bit bigger, you can take it out if he is not sleeping and as he is more alert he might gradually get used to it.

I have zero expectations of anything regarding habits before at least 12 weeks myself.Can always gently work on things after that, you have plenty of time.

Thanks shesty... ideally would love to have it just for
Sleep and cut down on the day usuage...he was always a chilled baby but this dummy sends him crazy whenever it falls out

Loveinapril

I agree with the others, he is brand new to the world so is doing what makes him feel safe and comforted. It will be another couple of months before you can really train any sort of soother habit. You are doing great with two 9 week olds though! I can't imagine having two babies in my first go at parenting, one was tough enough!

shesty

kaykay27 wrote: »

Thanks shesty... ideally would love to have it just for
Sleep and cut down on the day usuage...he was always a chilled baby but this dummy sends him crazy whenever it falls out

Yeah, you-and he- will get there.Babies suck for comfort and they also suck to relieve the pain of wind and that, so he might be using it for that.Right now it is totally about survival for yourself! I wouldn't worry too much.He will lose that sucking reflex as he starts to interact more with the world around him...he will probably replace it with his fists!!...as he gets bigger just try starting to take it out if he is on a playmat, or in a bouncer looking around or that...see how it goes.

Edit to say my last little guy who is nearly 2 was not a self soother either.Lost his life everytime he went down on a playmat or anything, from.an extremely young age.I was worried for a time about his muscle development because he couldn't deal with it at all.He still likes to be under my feet, on me or near me, he completely panics if I go upstairs or anything.He is the youngest of 3 so he didn't have my full attention all the time, and he has improved VASTLY, but he still very needy in comparison to my girls!!!(although some people tell me that is just how boys are!!).They all have their little personalities, self soothing is one of those things that comes quicker to some than others.

kaykay27

shesty wrote: »

Yeah, you-and he- will get there.Babies suck for comfort and they also suck to relieve the pain of wind and that, so he might be using it for that.Right now it is totally about survival for yourself! I wouldn't worry too much.He will lose that sucking reflex as he starts to interact more with the world around him...he will probably replace it with his fists!!...as he gets bigger just try starting to take it out if he is on a playmat, or in a bouncer looking around or that...see how it goes.

Edit to say my last little guy who is nearly 2 was not a self soother either.Lost his life everytime he went down on a playmat or anything, from.an extremely young age.I was worried for a time about his muscle development because he couldn't deal with it at all.He still likes to be under my feet, on me or near me, he completely panics if I go upstairs or anything.He is the youngest of 3 so he didn't have my full attention all the time, and he has improved VASTLY, but he still very needy in comparison to my girls!!!(although some people tell me that is just how boys are!!).They all have their little personalities, self soothing is one of those things that comes quicker to some than others.

Shesty, yip his already starting to put his fist in his mouth just not long enough to get a suck out of it...it’s funny that you mention reflux...he was just diagnosed with this but we have him on new formula so hopefully they will sort that out

thanks for sharing your experience...it’s reassuring to hear....I think I’m probably being the neurotic first time mammy....I don’t have family around so it really is hubby and I trying to navigate our way and google is not helping!

kaykay27

Loveinapril wrote: »

I agree with the others, he is brand new to the world so is doing what makes him feel safe and comforted. It will be another couple of months before you can really train any sort of soother habit. You are doing great with two 9 week olds though! I can't imagine having two babies in my first go at parenting, one was tough enough!

I forget that they are so new...it feels like they have been here forever...need to keep telling myself this!

Loveinapril

kaykay27 wrote: »

I forget that they are so new...it feels like they have been here forever...need to keep telling myself this!

9 weeks is a long time in newborn time. Aaaand you are doing that multiplied by two!

jlm29

You’re lucky he’ll take it! My 9 mo old just sucks on her fingers, and I’m convinced they’re getting a bit deformed from the way she holds them in her mouth.

Lia_lia

Don’t worry about it at all! My daughter never took a dummy and screamed for the first 4 months of her life...would have loved a dummy. Anything that helps. Especially with twins.