Toddler sleep with new baby on way - help!

chases0102

Hi all,

My OH and I will be having our 2nd baby, all going well, in about 5 weeks. Very excited.

We have a 2 year old boy, who'll be three in April.

Ever since he started climbing out of the cot last Summer, and went into his big boy bed, he wakes in the middle of the night and comes into our bed. This results in one of us going into the spare room as it is way too cramped.

I know we should have insisted he stay in his own bed before, but it never worked for one reason or another. It became routine, and now I am worried about new baby coming along. He simply won't be able to come in whenever he feels like it when baby is in with us.

I would love to hear of any strategy or experience that anyone has tried. I don't want him to feel like he's being "replaced".

Other have suggested buying a double bed for his room, where I'll invariably go in with him when baby comes along....it just feels like it is not solving the issue.

maxsmum

chases0102 wrote: »

Hi all,

My OH and I will be having our 2nd baby, all going well, in about 5 weeks. Very excited.

We have a 2 year old boy, who'll be three in April.

Ever since he started climbing out of the cot last Summer, and went into his big boy bed, he wakes in the middle of the night and comes into our bed. This results in one of us going into the spare room as it is way too cramped.

I know we should have insisted he stay in his own bed before, but it never worked for one reason or another. It became routine, and now I am worried about new baby coming along. He simply won't be able to come in whenever he feels like it when baby is in with us.

I would love to hear of any strategy or experience that anyone has tried. I don't want him to feel like he's being "replaced".

Other have suggested buying a double bed for his room, where I'll invariably go in with him when baby comes along....it just feels like it is not solving the issue.

Baby with you in spare room for a few months especially if you're breastfeeding, Hubbie and
Toddler in your bed? Some time to transition him then... Work on the 'big boy' and 'only babies sleep with mum' etc lots of rewards for staying in own bed...

SnowyMuckish

I used a Gro clock with our toddler. It comes with a story book that explains the concept to your child. Basically it’s a clock where you set the time to sleep and get up. The child can press a button on it at night when going to bed and the sun will set and the stars come out and it turns blue, then you set what time you want your child to get out of bed at and the sun will come out on the clock and it turns yellow.

It might be an idea, it worked for us to keep our LO in bed when he moved to his big boy bed. The key is plenty of conversation and explaining the concept of the clock for a few days before actually using it. You could reward him in the morning if he stayed in bed til the sun came out.

chases0102

Thanks folks for that - great, sensible ideas.

Ciarrai76

My little boy started the very same thing a few months before his 3rd birthday. His sleep became very unsettled and he woke many times in the night. I couldn't deal with the constant trying to get him back in his bed, it was too exhausting, so I just let him sleep with me. It has taken most of the year for his sleep to go back to normal, but he has improved so much and he has stayed in his own bed more than not in the last few weeks. I am not pregnant, but I can imagine its hard for you as you are. It can be a phase, something to do with their dreams becoming a lot more vivid and more nightmares starting. I did read its a form of sleep regression for that age. It can last only a few months (or less) or in our case it was almost a year!
Hopefully it will improve for you a lot sooner!

Ciarrai76

SnowyMuckish wrote: »

I used a Gro clock with our toddler. It comes with a story book that explains the concept to your child. Basically it’s a clock where you set the time to sleep and get up. The child can press a button on it at night when going to bed and the sun will set and the stars come out and it turns blue, then you set what time you want your child to get out of bed at and the sun will come out on the clock and it turns yellow.

It might be an idea, it worked for us to keep our LO in bed when he moved to his big boy bed. The key is plenty of conversation and explaining the concept of the clock for a few days before actually using it. You could reward him in the morning if he stayed in bed til the sun came out.

I have been thinking of getting one of these, as now we have him waking around 5am, so I think this would be a good time to get a groclock!

shesty

We have them, and they are great.Especially wih summer coming.

Ciarrai76

shesty wrote: »

We have them, and they are great.Especially wih summer coming.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I need better blinds for his room too as too much light comes through in the morning, even worse in summer! So need to find some better ways to keep him in bed longer!

SnowyMuckish

Gro do black out blinds too, they’re portable ones with suction cups, we have them, they’re a lifesaver if not a bit fidgety.

partyguinness

TBH having a baby in the bed with you in the first place is not a great idea.

Our now 8 yr old always slept in his cot. As he grew we made a big song and dance about getting a 'big boy bed' for months beforehand. He then got his bed for Christmas. But unlike you he never slept in the bed with us.

Our girl (4 in June) never slept in the bed with us and again we made a big song and dance about moving into a big girl bed.

Both would come into us around 7am. 8 year old goes down stairs and gets ready for school. The 3 year will come into bed with us around 7am but we are getting up and she just watches youtube for 20 mins on the phone.

The only advise I can give is to treat the 3 year old like a 5 year old. Explain to him that he is now a 'big boy' and that is his bed.

Princess Calla

The first night our three year old slept in his own bed was the night I went into labour on the second.

He always slept in with us, not ideal at all, but he was a sick baby and I think he always wanted the reassurance of us being beside him.

He hasn't been in our bed since. We have a safety gate on the bedroom door so he can't escape but since getting his own bed he's been pretty settled.

He took the your the big brother role very seriously and understood that the baby needed mammy and daddy and he was a big boy

The baby has never once slept in our bed, hates it. Which is great