House sharing for a single parent

Valium O Clock

Good morning boards, my partner and I recently separated, we have a three year old daughter and were both living in gorey and commuting to Dublin for work.

After the split I was unable to secure a suitable place for myself to live in gorey and just before Christmas, having run out of holiday days to view places, a good friend lent me one of her houses in the city to stay So I could begin looking again this month.

However my time back has really drilled home how much I've missed Dublin and if at all possible I'd prefer to be here again. The only issue with this is that even setting a rental budget of a maximum €1000 per month, my options still resemble an above average prison cell it seems.

I'm open to sharing a house with someone, but obviously it has to be the right person and suitable to bring my daughter too on the weekends.

Has anyone here had any experience like this, and if so is there anywhere you would recommend I look for someone?

With thanks

T

Sleepy

The only way I could see this working would be on the basis of renting something more expensive and sub-letting a room to a foreign language student (though it's probably the wrong time of year to start that) or a Sunday to Thursday arrangement with someone who's just looking for a cheap room in Dublin during the week.

Most other scenarios aren't going to work: a single person will want to be able to bring home any potential romantic partners which won't be ideal for you and your daughter and is unlikely to want to share their home with a small child. I simply can't imagine any couple wanting to share with a child either...

Another single parent that you don't already have some form of relationship with is going to result in your kids interacting almost like siblings and, at best, could be rather traumatic for the kids when it eventually ends, at worst could result in warfare between the kids (and ultimately yourself and the other parent).

A friend in a similar position might be an option but I'm guessing if that were the case, you'd have considered it already? Realistically, you're not going to get anything with your budget in Dublin. Have you explored your entitlements to social housing or HAP etc?

sportsfan90

OP I'm sure this is probably very obvious but if you're viewing a place please tell the other tenant(s) that you have a daughter that would be spending time there. If they're ok with it then happy days but allow them to make a decision on who to take in based on all the information.

The reason I say this is that in a previous houseshare I was in, a guy that viewed the room and moved in brought his daughter of similar age as yours along with him the day he moved in. When we challenged him about it he said she'd only be there 3 days a week and that it wasn't a big deal to him so why should it be to the rest of us.

This was when we were in our mid-20s and behaved like fellas of that age. It was completely wrong of him not to tell us beforehand and to expect us not to bat an eyelid about having a toddler in the house with us.

Again I'm sure it's very obvious that you shouldn't do that but I couldn't help being reminded of my own previous situation.
Best of luck.

sportsfan90

sportsfan90 wrote: »

OP I'm sure this is probably very obvious but if you're viewing a place please tell the other tenant(s) that you have a daughter that would be spending time there. If they're ok with it then happy days but allow them to make a decision on who to take in based on all the information.

The reason I say this is that in a previous houseshare I was in, a guy that viewed the room and moved in brought his daughter of similar age as yours along with him the day he moved in. When we challenged him about it he said she'd only be there 3 days a week and that it wasn't a big deal to him so why should it be to the rest of us.

This was when we were in our mid-20s and behaved like fellas of that age. It was completely wrong of him not to tell us beforehand and to expect us not to bat an eyelid about having a toddler in the house with us.

Again I'm sure it's very obvious that you shouldn't do that but I couldn't help being reminded of my own previous situation.
Best of luck.

Where you able to get rid of him? Totally unacceptable behaviour on his part I’d have been looking for him to move straight back out.

sportsfan90

Erin Rich Advertisement wrote: »

Where you able to get rid of him? Totally unacceptable behaviour on his part I’d have been looking for him to move straight back out.

We didn't get rid of him at all. We could have reported it to the landlord (who was also unaware of the toddler) but said we'd give him a chance. Like I said, we challenged him at the beginning about bringing a child into the house 3 days a week without telling us beforehand and he didn't see why it would be a big deal for the rest of us at all.

It took a bit of explaining but he eventually saw things from our perspective and after a few months he rented an apartment on his own.

He wasn't a bad fella at all, we all got on very well. But he had a habit of not really thinking things through.

For example, he didn't even meet us all before moving in. I'm not a parent but I'd imagine if I was bringing my child to live in a house I'd certainly want to do my own vetting of the people in it so see if they were all respectable and safe around kids. Did I mention he also surprised us with a puppy as well as his toddler.

jimmycrackcorm

I once rented a room in a house with a single mother. It didn't bother me.
Currently I rent out a room to a a guy who had his two young kids BV over every second weekend and sometimes during the week.
I don't mind as I grew up in a large family so I like the hustle and bustle of kids being around.
I'd say I'm not the only one who minds.