Toilet training issues

Ciarrai76

We have been trying to toilet train our almost 3 & 1/2 year old boy for quite a few months. He just has no interest. He will go the odd time for a wee, but for the most part won’t go in toilet no matter how many times we try to bring him. He is a lot better in preschool and goes a lot more often, probably as he sees the other kids go. He is in pull ups, but will still wee and poo in them. I tried underpants on him a couple of times and he had accidents, which was expected but he hated it and has refused to put them on since. He gets upset if I even suggest it. We have tried reward charts, stars, treats, but he does not want to do it. I’ve talked to him about it a lot and explained it all and he seems to understand but when it comes down to it he just doesn’t want to do it.

I feel as though it should be done and dusted by now and I’m getting stressed by it. His preschool have been very patient etc, and have suggested I give them some underpants so they can try with him during the day. It’s great they are so helpful. I just wish we could get this done!

I know he may not be quite ready yet but any advise or tips would be great!

Lolococo

Every child is different. Our third child was three in October and is still in pull ups. I’m not as bothered about getting him in underpants and out of pull ups as I was for my other two children. I wouldn’t stress that much as they will all get there eventually. Suggest easing off for a while and then approach it again. Good luck

Ciarrai76

Lolococo wrote: »

Every child is different. Our third child was three in October and is still in pull ups. I’m not as bothered about getting him in underpants and out of pull ups as I was for my other two children. I wouldn’t stress that much as they will all get there eventually. Suggest easing off for a while and then approach it again. Good luck

Thanks. I guess I'm putting pressure on myself as I see a lot of kids in his pre-school class are trained and I feel like he should be. I had in my head we would have it done by Christmas, but not a hope now! I hoped I would have more time to do it with him while he's been off, but then he was sick etc, so wasn't the ideal time. I know it will happen eventually!
He's stubborn too, very stubborn, so if he doesn't want to do something, that's it! :rolleyes:

starbaby2003

Have you ruled out anything biological? If not I would chat with the doctor. Agree with the others though all children are different and you don’t want to create tension around using the toilet etc ... if your preschool are ok with it you aren’t really in a rush, I know some won’t accept without full toilet training. As they are willing to work with you, might be worth asking them if they have any tips etc ? We as parents tend to stress over things that have no baring on our kids.

Ciarrai76

starbaby2003 wrote: »

Have you ruled out anything biological? If not I would chat with the doctor. Agree with the others though all children are different and you don’t want to create tension around using the toilet etc ... if your preschool are ok with it you aren’t really in a rush, I know some won’t accept without full toilet training. As they are willing to work with you, might be worth asking them if they have any tips etc ? We as parents tend to stress over things that have no baring on our kids.

Preschool are great thankfully. They aren't putting any pressure on us. He's been at the same childcare since he was 10 months, so the staff all know him well now and are very good. One of his preschool teachers has said to send in some underpants with him and they will try to get him to wear them and see how he gets on. I am really grateful for their support on that as I know some preschools wouldn't be as supportive. I am going to try that out in the new year and see how we get on.

This morning I spotted him going off in corner and knew he was off hiding to do his little poo...tried to coax him to the toilet but he wouldn't budge. He is better at going to the toilet for a wee. I know the poo can be a lot harder to get them to do in toilet at first. Trying to just leave him be for now and not stress him out.

jlm29

My middle boy is 4 since December. I had it in my head that I’d train him last Christmas when he was just gone 3, but he hadn’t a notion of it, so I left him in nappies. In feb he trained literally overnight, because he wanted to. He never once had a poo accident, and I’d say three or four wee ones ever. I know it’s hard when you see others doing it, but as someone said, rule out anything biological and then just give him time

Ciarrai76

jlm29 wrote: »

My middle boy is 4 since December. I had it in my head that I’d train him last Christmas when he was just gone 3, but he hadn’t a notion of it, so I left him in nappies. In feb he trained literally overnight, because he wanted to. He never once had a poo accident, and I’d say three or four wee ones ever. I know it’s hard when you see others doing it, but as someone said, rule out anything biological and then just give him time

Thanks. Will give time. He’s our first, so no experience in this. Have been secretly dreading this stage from the start!

jlm29

Ciarrai76 wrote: »

Thanks. Will give time. He’s our first, so no experience in this. Have been secretly dreading this stage from the start!

It’s so hard! At least you don’t have pressure coming from school, and are able to send him for ecce anyhow!

Mad_maxx

our boy was three last august , we began training him march 1st of last year and he is still not close to being fully trained , we never thought it could be so difficult , he has to wear a pull up to pre school and will wet himself at least twice per day if you leave him in underwear .

Ciarrai76

Mad_maxx wrote: »

our boy was three last august , we began training him march 1st of last year and he is still not close to being fully trained , we never thought it could be so difficult , he has to wear a pull up to pre school and will wet himself at least twice per day if you leave him in underwear .

Only a month between them, my little boy was 3 in July. He is in pull ups going to preschool but thankfully they are ok with it and he’s not the only one. We will get there. It will surely click at some stage!

Finner

Hi! Joining the conversation as we are also in the middle of a difficult situation with toilet training. My boy was three at the start of December and we had been using the potty the odd time since October 2018! We thought he might be ready for pants and proper training so we decided to do it over the Christmas break while myself and my husband were off and we could dedicate time to it. It's been 3 weeks now and he still doesn't seem to be getting it. He hasn't once asked to go himself and the only way he'll go is if we remind him at intervals to go (I think we may be inadvertently teaching him to tell the time more than teaching him to know when he needs to go!). He has had a good few accidents, which I don't mind we just do a change and it's all fine after but I feel like after three weeks he should probably have got the hang of it by now right? We often have big standoffs about it where he will point blank refuse to go and will lie flat on the floor. So we either carry him there and he will eventually sit on the toilet or we leave him be and he has an accident. He's had a bit of constipation, diarrhoea and redness and complaining of a sore bum all linked to starting the process so that can't be helping matters either! We've tried all the books, treats, stickers, potties, seats for the toilet (even that one with the integrated step!) but he just doesn't seem to have the enthusiasm for it. My gut says to park it for a while and come back to it at a later stage but there are two things bugging me about doing that:

1. The preschool/creche say he's doing really well with it while he's there. He goes for 5 mornings to preschool and 2 full days to the same place for creche. They are not pressuring me to keep going or to stop for a while but they were encouraging me to keep going because it's been going well there. I get why it's going well there because he sees all the other kids going and he's much less likely to act out for his teacher than for us at home but it doesn't really work if the rest of the day at home he is being so defiant about it
2. We have emphasised so much that pants are for big boys and how he's such a big boy he's going around telling everyone that so when we ask him about it whether he wants to go back to nappies he's saying no! but then he doesn't really grasp the fact that if he's in pants then he has to use the toilet.

I feel like we've been trapped in our house or limited to certain places for the past three weeks because of it it's driving us all mad! I'm sure he senses my frustration with it and is put off. But I'm only frustrated on his behalf. I don't know how to go on with it or to go back at this rate!

appledrop

Our boy is 3.5. I was a very ambitious mother + tried training him at 2.5(Needless to say it didn't work!) We left it then until just before 3rd birthday + he trained quite quickly because I felt he was ready.

Now advice we were given was to totally get rid of naps or any pullups except at night time. You also need a time when you are at home for at least 3 days + go nowhere. We had heating on full blast in house + just put him in pair of underpants + shorts + crocs or just socks(makes sure shoes dont get destroyed!) We did a mixture of bringing him to toilet at set intervals during these 3 days + him letting us know when he needed to go. There were lots of accidents but by the end of 3 days he had a great grasp of it apart from poos which took a bit longer. Creche also dont use pull ups/nappies if training so he had a few accidents first week but then he was trained.

We kept nappies on him at night for a few months to make sure he understood + because I didn't want him upset if he wet the bed. At that stage nappies dry every morning so we got rid of them + thankfully never had accident in bed.

greenttc

any progress ciarrai? reading with interest as we have been trying with our three year old who sounds exactly like yours. ours is only just gone three though

Ciarrai76

greenttc wrote: »

any progress ciarrai? reading with interest as we have been trying with our three year old who sounds exactly like yours. ours is only just gone three though

No luck yet. He is worse than ever! We can’t seem to get him to try on his big boy pants, even for a few minutes!

We had his developmental check up with the PHN last week and she was really nice about it and said not to put pressure on ourselves. He will do it when he’s ready. She isn’t signing us off the public system yet, until he’s trained and she will call us again in a few months to see how it’s going. That was good to hear. I was talking to an old friend a few days ago who said it took her a year to train her boy, and her little girl was trained in days before she was 3, so they are all different!

greenttc

yeah, its what you read everywhere isnt it? to not worry and everything will happen in its own time, its just so hard as a parent to have patience and have that understanding when it feels like all other children are rid of nappies a long time ago! equally hard to just "forget about it for a while" , you are right though, they are all different and have different strengths. I will be interested to hear how you get on though, I feel like you are me a few months in the future!

Ciarrai76

greenttc wrote: »

yeah, its what you read everywhere isnt it? to not worry and everything will happen in its own time, its just so hard as a parent to have patience and have that understanding when it feels like all other children are rid of nappies a long time ago! equally hard to just "forget about it for a while" , you are right though, they are all different and have different strengths. I will be interested to hear how you get on though, I feel like you are me a few months in the future!

I said to the nurse I feel like Im doing it all wrong and that I see other kids out of nappies and kids younger than him and she said that’s the problem, we keep comparing to others and put too much pressure on ourselves. She said don’t worry what everyone else is doing and just relax!

SnowyMuckish

Don’t put yourself under pressure, you don’t know any adults going around in nappies ��, we all got there somehow in the end, so will he! We started training our boy after his 3 rd birthday. He is obsessed with Paw Patrol, took him to the shop he picked out Paw Patrol Pants, a P.P. Potty, toilet seat and step as well as stickers and P.P. Sweets. He literally spent a full week with no bottoms of any kind, plenty of accidents. Then we graduated to a few days wearing pants and no trousers. Even now he’s 8 months trained and still has regular accidents in crèche. We haven’t even started thinking about night training yet as he never wakes up dry and I think you’re meant to have a few consistent nights as a sign of readiness.

jlm29

Just in case it’s any use to anyone, Deirdre Holland Hannon (I follow her on Instagram, I think she’s a behavioural therapist or something), is running a few toilet training workshops in the coming weeks/months, I’m not sure of the time frame. Deehollhan is her insta name if anyone wants to check it out

greenttc

One positive from this virus outbreak and being at home, my three year old has now fully potty trained, night time and all. It is crazy, and its hard to believe when potty training isn't going well but it really is on their terms and they will do it when they are ready. It was lucky that we have been hime to facilitate him as well. NOt one accident either! Delighted with ourselves!

Ciarrai76

greenttc wrote: »

One positive from this virus outbreak and being at home, my three year old has now fully potty trained, night time and all. It is crazy, and its hard to believe when potty training isn't going well but it really is on their terms and they will do it when they are ready. It was lucky that we have been hime to facilitate him as well. NOt one accident either! Delighted with ourselves!

I am DETERMINED that my boy is trained by the time this is over. If not I give up and will be too shamed to show my face back in his preschool!

He's going to the toilet a lot more often and telling us too. He's done a few poos in the toilet too, so that fear is not so bad for him either. My issue with him is he will not wear his underpants yet and insisting on the pull ups. I guess they are a bit of a security for him for now. We are slowly but surely getting there though, he has shown a big improvement.

scarepanda

Will he wear underwear over his pull-ups? If he will, then put the underwear on over the pull-ups and when you get to the last 5/6 pull-ups leave them in with his underwear, or somewhere accessible for him and leave him be incharge of getting them. Keep reinforcing that they are the last pull-ups you have and that there's no more in the shop, or whatever whitelie works for him. Make sure he knows when he's putting on the last one that that's it (and for your sake dont have any spares knocking about). You'll probably have some resistance, and probably a few accidents, but if he's going to the toilet now and knows the sensations then it shouldn't be too long before he doesn't need the security of the pull-ups. We did something similar with our girl, she would only poo standing up with a pull-up on her, and it worked without to much resistance. She was basically toilet trained for ages in that she wasn't having accidents and would tell us when she needed to poo she just wouldn't let go of the pull-ups fully.

Ciarrai76

scarepanda wrote: »

Will he wear underwear over his pull-ups? If he will, then put the underwear on over the pull-ups and when you get to the last 5/6 pull-ups leave them in with his underwear, or somewhere accessible for him and leave him be incharge of getting them. Keep reinforcing that they are the last pull-ups you have and that there's no more in the shop, or whatever whitelie works for him. Make sure he knows when he's putting on the last one that that's it (and for your sake dont have any spares knocking about). You'll probably have some resistance, and probably a few accidents, but if he's going to the toilet now and knows the sensations then it shouldn't be too long before he doesn't need the security of the pull-ups. We did something similar with our girl, she would only poo standing up with a pull-up on her, and it worked without to much resistance. She was basically toilet trained for ages in that she wasn't having accidents and would tell us when she needed to poo she just wouldn't let go of the pull-ups fully.

I was thinking of doing this! I don't have a full pack left for daytime ones so I might try it soon. I think I remember her preschool teacher telling me to try that.

I guess with night time though, I will need to leave on pull ups for a while?

I know he's ready to do this, he's just lazy and needs to learn to stop playing etc and go to the toilet!

scarepanda

Tbh I dont know what the best thing to do for nights. We went cold turkey with no nappies or pull-ups when we started toilet training for days and nights and never had an issue. I could count on 1 hand the amount of times she's wet her bed. Although we do limit liquids to just water after 7 (bedtime is at 8.30/9) and she was wee trained during the day in 3 days.

We also didn't bring her to the toilet. We handed her the responsibility and reminded her every so often to tell us when she needed to go.

ax530

A teddy lives in our bathroom we go in have chat with him every so often. Once sitting up on toilet talking to teddy distracted so does wee. Prior to this If I asked do you want to go toilet was always a no. Teddy gives tips and asks about what playing with ect.

ax530

My kids always insisted no nappies so did nights from start too.

appledrop

I know it's hard but try as much as you can to get rid of the pull ups during the day.

I know it seems horrible but they kind of need the little accidents + unpleasantness of it to encourage them to make it to the toilet once of course they are ready.

We went cold turkey + never left house for about 4 days + he was pretty much trained then. A good tip is to roll up any rugs etc you have in house so if any accidents once on tiles/wooden floors you can just clean it up.

I wouldn't worry about the nights yet. Our little boy trained quick but we left the nights for a good while. One of my friends said you would know when ready at night if dry pull up in morning. That didn't happen for ages so we left him. As a result when we finally tried it after a week of dry nappies he was grand + never once wet the bed.

Ciarrai76

appledrop wrote: »

I know it's hard but try as much as you can to get rid of the pull ups during the day.

I know it seems horrible but they kind of need the little accidents + unpleasantness of it to encourage them to make it to the toilet once of course they are ready.

We went cold turkey + never left house for about 4 days + he was pretty much trained then. A good tip is to roll up any rugs etc you have in house so if any accidents once on tiles/wooden floors you can just clean it up.

I wouldn't worry about the nights yet. Our little boy trained quick but we left the nights for a good while. One of my friends said you would know when ready at night if dry pull up in morning. That didn't happen for ages so we left him. As a result when we finally tried it after a week of dry nappies he was grand + never once wet the bed.

I talked to him about it again tonight and asked could we put his pants on over his pull ups and he said no! I got him a lot of pairs, but I think I will have to try and buy some with him so he can choose them. But not really an option to bring him shopping at the moment, so I may have to buy a few different pairs that I can give him to choose from and let him think he's making the choice. He will need extra pairs anyway!

This is our best opportunity to do this, we won't ever have this much time at home again to do it! Even at Christmas I couldn't do it as he was sick, so I am determined now!!
He is getting good for telling me he has to go to the toilet, so I don't tend to have to ask him as often as before. So we are getting there!

jlm29

Ciarrai76 wrote: »

I talked to him about it again tonight and asked could we put his pants on over his pull ups and he said no! I got him a lot of pairs, but I think I will have to try and buy some with him so he can choose them. But not really an option to bring him shopping at the moment, so I may have to buy a few different pairs that I can give him to choose from and let him think he's making the choice. He will need extra pairs anyway!

This is our best opportunity to do this, we won't ever have this much time at home again to do it! Even at Christmas I couldn't do it as he was sick, so I am determined now!!
He is getting good for telling me he has to go to the toilet, so I don't tend to have to ask him as often as before. So we are getting there!

Buy online! And then he’ll have the excitement of getting a package too!

Ciarrai76

jlm29 wrote: »

Buy online! And then he’ll have the excitement of getting a package too!

Yeah might do that, and let him choose them off the pictures. At least he knows he has picked them and he loves when the postman comes so if he thought he got something in the letterbox he would be delighted!

jlm29

Ciarrai76 wrote: »

Yeah might do that, and let him choose them off the pictures. At least he knows he has picked them and he loves when the postman comes so if he thought he got something in the letterbox he would be delighted!

The novelty might help!

SnowyMuckish

scarepanda wrote: »

Tbh I dont know what the best thing to do for nights. We went cold turkey with no nappies or pull-ups when we started toilet training for days and nights and never had an issue. I could count on 1 hand the amount of times she's wet her bed. Although we do limit liquids to just water after 7 (bedtime is at 8.30/9) and she was wee trained during the day in 3 days.

We also didn't bring her to the toilet. We handed her the responsibility and reminded her every so often to tell us when she needed to go.

I was literally in the same position, my LO is 3 y 7m, daytime trained but wore double nappies at night. I was getting a bit anxious about night time training, waiting for him to show signs of readiness to no avail. I didn’t wake him to go at night. He would regularly wet through the nappies and wet the bed. Then, out of nowhere, about 3 weeks ago he started having dry nights. He started calling me in the middle of the night to take him to the toilet. We’ve now reduced to one pull up so that it’s manageable for him to pull up and down independently. He’s dry most mornings now. Bar last night....... he woke up sleep walking, called me up to the room, before I could stop him he walked over to the dog’s bed, pants down and peed in it :eek:

At least he ‘went’ to the toilet :pac:

I think it will happen for everyone in due course when they are ready. With hindsight, when my 2nd little man is that age I think I’ll be easier on myself about it. In fact that’s my general attitude about everything this time around, I think we’re too worried about things, even weaning/ nap schedules etc this time around have been far more relaxed!

greenttc

yeah we did the no more pull ups thing, he begged us to put them on him for poos but we just said no. it resulted in him not doing any poo for a while which was unpleasant to say the least but then it just clicked, we kept the pull ups at night for maybe three or four nights but he was actually telling us he needed to go in the morning and then we just tried cold turkey for night time too with just pants and havent had any accidents at all, he just calls when he needs to go!

my lad was definitely as stubborn as your ciarrai which is why I posted here in the first place! i think you just have to battle with him and be just as stubborn as him and as you said, there is no better time than now when you are stuck at home anyway!

greenttc

by the way, i feel like I am being the kind of person you hate in threads, one who comes back and says it is all grand for them when you know the other person is struggling with something, especially when it feels like everyone else is succeeding but you. but I am hoping that you take my success as an indicator that it is going to happen soon with your lad too!

Ciarrai76

greenttc wrote: »

by the way, i feel like I am being the kind of person you hate in threads, one who comes back and says it is all grand for them when you know the other person is struggling with something, especially when it feels like everyone else is succeeding but you. but I am hoping that you take my success as an indicator that it is going to happen soon with your lad too!

Haha, you're grand! At least we have plenty of time to get this done and he's improving with telling us he has to go, so that's a good thing as he knows the urge now. I just need to convince him more to let go of the pull ups. One annoying thing is that on his last day of preschool almost 2 weeks ago, he agreed to put on his pants and wore them the entire day, with no accidents. I wasn't aware of this until I picked him up at 5pm, and I couldn't believe it! I thought we had definitely cracked it, but the next day he refused to put them on again!! I have told him his teacher will be so disappointed, as she was delighted with him...he doesn't care! :rolleyes:

scarepanda

Haha! He knows how to work his mammy :-)!!

If it's any consolation our girl was wee trained in 2/3 days last June, it took us till the end of January to get the poos cracked. She was a once a day everyday girl, she held it in from Saturday morning (last pullup) till Tuesday night. The poor mite was in agony, I very very nearly gave up (and I'm usually the hard ass parent). We ended up distracting her in the bath and eventually my husband caught her at the right time (she didn't say no when asked if she wanted to sit on the toilet!) And she had the poo of all poos.... More than once :-) and that was it. Fully toilet trained. The difference though I think is that our girl was kind of trained already in that she didn't have accidents and would tell us when she needed a pull up, so we just had to get her over whatever mental block she had with poos in the toilet.

Ciarrai76

So, looks like we have turned a corner and have finally got himself to wear this big boy pants in the daytime! We have pretty much done more than a week of it, with 2 accidents! I'm beyond relieved. He seems to have just clicked and is much more confident about going to the toilet, and about telling us. My only small concern is he is holding it too long, and despite us reminding him to go, he can take a little too long to go (which resulted in an accident all over our couch!:(

But he's been so good. We can take him out for a walk now and a couple of times he has gone out with his daddy, he went for him in a bush!!

One tip I was given from here was to get him to choose some pants himself, which we did (he picked some Batman ones off the Next website a couple of weeks ago!) and I think that helped massively, so thank you to whoever it was so advised that! Now every morning we get him to choose his own pants to wear. He is in pull ups at night, so that's the next one to get done, but this is enough for now.

I messaged one of the pre-school supervisors to tell her and to ask her to tell his teachers as I'm sure they will be delighted too!

At least one good thing came from this lockdown!! I am never home for enough days in a row to have been able to do this in a normal time, so this was ideal!!

Thanks for all the tips and advise guys!

jlm29

Oh brill. Great stuff. Am thinking of starting my 2y.o next week. I don’t know am I able for it tho

scarepanda

Ah that's brilliant news!

Now to 'accidentally' forget to put on a pull-up at bedtime - when your satisfied he's dry and/or he'll go when picked up when yer going to bed- and he will be fully done! To make life easier for middle of the night accident's, which will happen, i got a tip from someone on boards which has been a life saver. Basically make a few layers of towel, bedmat, sheet, repeat a couple of times so that when an accident does happen all you have to do is strip off the wet layer and there's a ready made bed there's nothing worse than having to strip and make a bad as well as change a sleepy child at 4am!

fits

scarepanda wrote: »

To make life easier for middle of the night accident's, which will happen, i got a tip from someone on boards which has been a life saver. Basically make a few layers of towel, bedmat, sheet, repeat a couple of times so that when an accident does happen all you have to do is strip off the wet layer and there's a ready made bed there's nothing worse than having to strip and make a bad as well as change a sleepy child at 4am!

thats a great idea! My lad is fully dry at night but we are still putting the pull ups on him just in case. Might try this.

Ciarrai76

jlm29 wrote: »

Oh brill. Great stuff. Am thinking of starting my 2y.o next week. I don’t know am I able for it tho

Just take your time. 2 is quite young. My little boy is 3yrs 9 months! it took ages. A lot of stopping and restarting. Its taken about 9 months to be honest.

fits

jlm29 wrote: »

Oh brill. Great stuff. Am thinking of starting my 2y.o next week. I don’t know am I able for it tho

Im thinking of starting my other little boy.. now that is daunting. ITs going to take a long time. .

jlm29

Ciarrai76 wrote: »

Just take your time. 2 is quite young. My little boy is 3yrs 9 months! it took ages. A lot of stopping and restarting. Its taken about 9 months to be honest.

He’ll be three in June. Have him booked in for ecce in sept. I’m on mat leave, didn’t think I’d be back until sept, so I wasn’t in any rush, but I’d say with corona, I’ll be back in June, so I might not have the chance! It’s grand if he only does one ecce year really, but I’d say he’d love preschool if he goes in sept. , but I’d say he’s bordering on ready now!

Ciarrai76

fits wrote: »

Im thinking of starting my other little boy.. now that is daunting. ITs going to take a long time. .

Some kids do it very quick, I just seem to have a lazy bones who just wanted to do it in his own time! I know many people who had theirs trained a LOT quicker than me. A lot of it was down to us too not having enough time to do it. This was our perfect opportunity. I was determined to have him trained before he turned 4 (in July).

fits

Ciarrai76 wrote: »

Some kids do it very quick, I just seem to have a lazy bones who just wanted to do it in his own time! I know many people who had theirs trained a LOT quicker than me. A lot of it was down to us too not having enough time to do it. This was our perfect opportunity. I was determined to have him trained before he turned 4 (in July).

This lad has special needs. Not sure if he's ready or not. He tends to be really delayed and then learn some things over night. He's predictable at certain times of the day so it might be time to start. He's 3y4m

Roughstuff2020

Ciarrai76 wrote: »

We have been trying to toilet train our almost 3 & 1/2 year old boy for quite a few months. He just has no interest. He will go the odd time for a wee, but for the most part won’t go in toilet no matter how many times we try to bring him. He is a lot better in preschool and goes a lot more often, probably as he sees the other kids go. He is in pull ups, but will still wee and poo in them. I tried underpants on him a couple of times and he had accidents, which was expected but he hated it and has refused to put them on since. He gets upset if I even suggest it. We have tried reward charts, stars, treats, but he does not want to do it. I’ve talked to him about it a lot and explained it all and he seems to understand but when it comes down to it he just doesn’t want to do it.

I feel as though it should be done and dusted by now and I’m getting stressed by it. His preschool have been very patient etc, and have suggested I give them some underpants so they can try with him during the day. It’s great they are so helpful. I just wish we could get this done!

I know he may not be quite ready yet but any advise or tips would be great!

Don't stress when the penny finally drops he will be grand.

I was in the same position but made a game out of going the toilet.

Pretent to have a race with him or get him a reward chart

Ciarrai76

jlm29 wrote: »

He’ll be three in June. Have him booked in for ecce in sept. I’m on mat leave, didn’t think I’d be back until sept, so I wasn’t in any rush, but I’d say with corona, I’ll be back in June, so I might not have the chance! It’s grand if he only does one ecce year really, but I’d say he’d love preschool if he goes in sept. , but I’d say he’s bordering on ready now!

We started off by talking to him about it a bit and let him come into the toilet with either of us. My boy was just a bit lazy and couldn't be bothered half the time. Even now I have to remind him a lot to go as he gets too distracted.
I was lucky with our preschool as they didn't pressure us at all, and they were extremely helpful. The last day he was in preschool, just as the closures were announced, he was in his big boy pants all that day with no accidents. Up until then I couldn't get him to even try them on and his teacher did! I couldn't get him to do it after that either until 2 weeks ago! I couldn't go back to his preschool whenever it opens and not have him trained, I would have felt mortified!

Ciarrai76

Roughstuff2020 wrote: »

Don't stress when the penny finally drops he will be grand.

I was in the same position but made a game out of going the toilet.

Pretent to have a race with him or get him a reward chart

I've updated a few posts back that he's day time trained now!
I've been doing a race to the toilet with him the last couple of weeks which he loves....as he has to win!

Ciarrai76

fits wrote: »

This lad has special needs. Not sure if he's ready or not. He tends to be really delayed and then learn some things over night. He's predictable at certain times of the day so it might be time to start. He's 3y4m

I put myself under too much pressure to have it done because all my friends kids had theirs trained and I was stressing myself out that he wasn't trained yet. We can't pressure them, its all about when they want to do it. Little reward charts, games etc. We have a race to the toilet to see who will get there first...obviously I let him win There have been a LOT of bribes too...daddy has come home with quite a few gifts lately :rolleyes:

fits

Ciarrai76 wrote: »

I put myself under too much pressure to have it done because all my friends kids had theirs trained and I was stressing myself out that he wasn't trained yet. We can't pressure them, its all about when they want to do it. Little reward charts, games etc. We have a race to the toilet to see who will get there first...obviously I let him win There have been a LOT of bribes too...daddy has come home with quite a few gifts latel :rolleyes:

Oh Im not putting us under any pressure. Just accepting it will be a long process and hoping we'll get there before he starts primary school. But he will dictate.

greenttc

brilliant news ciarrai, it really has been one big advantage of this virus hasn't it? it is such a relief being done. defo start working on the night time one now, id say it is just total fiction but a friend told me that once they are done during the day time it is best to get them to do night time within five weeks or it will be a bigger and longer struggle. i dont think that is based off any fact or reason but it kinda spurred me on to just do it and it has worked out grand, only one bed wetting accident but we had the multi layer approach on the bed sheet thing done so it wasn't a big deal at all.

delighted for you, i totally know how it feels to take this long to get it done so I know how happy you must be!

oh, just for anyone else with a child who likes to hold it longer than they should, I always bribe him and say we cant go for a walk until you do a wee, we cant play in the backgarden, we can colour in......and so on and then he gets a bit grumpy but realises he isnt going to win till he does a wee.