Feeling very depressed

LegacyUser

I am spiralling into depression and would appreciate any tips to help me.

I'm extremely lonely and I can't get out of bed. As a result I've started to miss work. I can't find the motivation to do anything and I've turned to drinking to help me cope. I can't see a way out of feeling like this. I am in a toxic relationship and I can't seem to let go because I'm in such a bad place. It intensifies my depression but I also just can't let go of him. I'm in counselling but it's been a year and I've made little progress. It's like I'm stuck and can't seem to get better.

I wondered if anyone else has felt this way and can advise me. I feel there's no light at the end of the tunnel and I'm starting to feel desperate.

santana75

I'm sorry its taken 3 days for somebody to reply to your post. I think we live in a society where brotherly love is in short supply......you know yourself that booze will not comfort you and will in fact make everything worse. Dont dig that hole for yourself, get out before it gets any kind of hold over you. Find an AA meeting and go, you'll get support and encouragement there. As for the toxic relationship, you have to walk away. That door must be closed before another will open. That's how life works, it's not like you hold onto the toxic person until a good person comes into your life and then you pull a switcheroo. You have to remove the toxic person and have the courage to stand by yourself. A lot of the time people stay in toxic relationships because deep down they fear being single. But you have to face that fear, let it happen
When you do face that fear you'll find that you are perfectly fine and everything will turn out grand. But you have to face that fear first. Theres no easy way around this.

LuciX

santana75 wrote: »

I'm sorry its taken 3 days for somebody to reply to your post. I think we live in a society where brotherly love is in short supply......

THE POST WASN'T APPROVED UNTIL 30/12

IT'S HOLIDAY SEASON.
MODS HAVE A LIFE AS WELL.

Bunkernumber1

Hi
Without trying to sound condescending or anything like that I'd like to help you out.
I went through very similar for well over 3 years and like you I didn't see a way out.i will tell you and trust me on this it can get better and it will get better.this year was my first year to get and see the massive improvements that I mad.im not going to post what I done or where I ended up and how bad it got.but I will tell you from the bottom of my heart that I had to go to hell and back but once you get out of it you will never go back there.now dont get me wrong there are times where I feel I might be slipping again or times when things dont feel so great.but when you go through it and come out thr other side of it.you learn to use tools that help you.now if you would like to talk I will help you just drop me a private msg.
While I do not claim to know everything I do feel I've alot I can help and offer you.
No one should have to go through that alone and I would hate the thoughts of anyone going through it.
I guess I just feel I owe the world some help for the chances I've bring given
So feel free to drop me a line and we can talk it out.
Remember keep your head up
Theres always another way through stuff (even if u cant see it at the moment)

Purple Mountain

Hi. Don't be curled up in your bed alone when there are avenues you can reach out to for help.

Phone Pieta House or The Samaritans today.

johnml

OP sorry to hear you're feeling like this. I think it might be best if you see your GP to discuss options that will help you.
Best of luck with everything. It might seem like it will never end, but with the right help you can begin to enjoy life again.

ILoveYourVibes

I think your toxic relationship seems to be the root of a lot of your issues.

I think you need to cut this person OUT of your life.

Can you do that for yourself?

Lots of love x

LegacyUser

depressedandneedhelp wrote: »

I am in a toxic relationship and I can't seem to let go because I'm in such a bad place. It intensifies my depression but I also just can't let go of him. I'm in counselling but it's been a year and I've made little progress. It's like I'm stuck and can't seem to get better.

I think you’ve answered yourself here. If that relationship is intensifying your depression, you need to remove yourself from it. Ask yourself why you can’t let go of him? Is it a fear of him? Or is it a fear of being alone? If it’s the latter, and sorry to sound flippant, he is not the only fish in the sea. Although, if you are afraid he is “the one” and don’t want to let him go because of that; if he truly loves you and you say you need to end things and get yourself healthy before moving on, he should understand that and let you. Time & space does wonderful things for the mind. At that point, you can reassess if you were correct in your view of letting go and if you felt you were wrong, you can reconnect but I suspect you won’t want to when you’re in the right headspace.

I’m going to make a massive presumption here and say that your counsellor has probably suggested something similar, to end that relationship? Are there other things that have been suggested that you haven’t done? Maybe that’s why you don’t feel there is progress being made? Or maybe that counsellor isn’t the right fit for you? Every counsellor doesn’t suit every patient?! Counselling is hard work though - it’s not Hollywood where you lay on the couch and are fixed by some revelation. It’s tiny slow progress that you may not even realise until 6 months down the line. Its worth it though.

I hope 2020 brings improvement for you and that this time next year, this is a distant memory for you. But it sounds like the first thing to do is get out of bed and walk away from the toxicity. It will be bloody hard but long term, worth it.

Faith

Cmod Note: Bunkernumber1, I appreciate you're new here and just trying to help, but as per the PI charter, please do not PM or ask for PMs from OPs in Personal Issues. This is for both your protection and theirs.

NIMAN

I think the OP should get themselves to a GP asap, rather than looking for help from unqualified people on the internet.