Had to ex this gal off my Christmas list

bo0li5eumx12kp

Yeah, I was gonna make a thread about now being slightly older, hooking up with younger gals.

And how I don't really see older women hooking up with younger men.
Reason being simply cause, chicks get older, their personality changes, they don't keep their looks up, and they're basically no fun anymore.

If I saw a 45 year old who kept her body tight, her hair done right, her ass as it needs to be etc - I would absolutely not discriminate as to anything age related.


However, a more pressing matter came to my attention this morning during the Stephens day rush.

We'd knock into each other socially from time to time, and in my mind it was not a question of "if", but "when".

So I'm queuing up to pay for this cubic zirconia studded belt, turn around, and who do I see only this CRACKING blonde, with a god damn pram in her hands.

Women are typically coy about letting you know they've gotten knocked up during their younger years.

I mean I get it, not like she's gonna live in a freezer - a young good looking woman, she's gonna go out, have some fun, get laid etc.
And hey - more power to you - sister!

But what is it, a trend?
Is it trendy to have some babies during this time period additionally?
Or is it just a case of, "got carried away, couldn't find the jism protectors in time"?

Either way, that's it.
I'm gone.
I've lost it.
As far as she's concerned, I'm in the f~~king twilight zone.

This chick is dead to me.
Worst case scenario, I'd give her a quick thrill in my apartment on a Saturday night, if I'd failed to hook up elsewhere but, let's face it;

What self respecting man is gonna realistically accept the sloppy seconds of some billy-bad-ass who didn't have sense enough to strap down, and be the sloppy seconds for has-been disco slut who's just realizing she's been making years of poor life decisions?

Not this man,

lawred2

Cool story bro

Professor Genius

Tldr

Ficheall

Ho ho ho!


Cop on to yourself, OP.

super_furry

You're pretty bad at this aren't you?

At least make it a Hollister belt.

Johnny Sausage

Can't wait for the school holidays to be over

Naggdefy

Pointless rambling, who cares less about what belt you're buying etc. At least Mr. Fegelein poses a clear question in his threads.

twowheelsonly

I'd say she's devastated at missing out on a great catch like yourself.

Sad sack.

bo0li5eumx12kp

twowheelsonly wrote: »

I'd say she's devastated at missing out on a great catch like yourself.

Pfff - trust me, I got her juices flowing.

Well, I hope she had some good turkey for christmas, cause my delicious meat is now off the menu.

weisses

OP just saw nanny mcfee for the first time I guess

robertpatterson

Chad Dazzling Applesauce wrote: »

Yeah, I was gonna make a thread about now being slightly older, hooking up with younger gals.

And how I don't really see older women hooking up with younger men.
Reason being simply cause, chicks get older, their personality changes, they don't keep their looks up, and they're basically no fun anymore.

If I saw a 45 year old who kept her body tight, her hair done right, her ass as it needs to be etc - I would absolutely not discriminate as to anything age related.


However, a more pressing matter came to my attention this morning during the Stephens day rush.

We'd knock into each other socially from time to time, and in my mind it was not a question of "if", but "when".

So I'm queuing up to pay for cubic zirconia studded belt, turn around, and who do I see only this CRACKING blonde, with a god damn pram in her hands.

Women are typically coy about letting you know they've gotten knocked up during their younger years.

I mean I get it, not like she's gonna live in a freezer - a young good looking woman, she's gonna go out, have some fun, get laid etc.
And hey - more power to you - sister!

But what is it, a trend?
Is it trendy to have some babies during this time period additionally?
Or is it just a case of, "got carried away, couldn't find the jism protectors in time"?

Either way, that's it.
I'm gone.
I've lost it.
As far as she's concerned, I'm in the f~~king twilight zone.

This chick is dead to me.
Worst case scenario, I'd give her a quick thrill in my apartment on a Saturday night, if I'd failed to hook up elsewhere but, let's face it;

What self respecting man is gonna realistically accept the sloppy seconds of some billy-bad-ass who didn't have sense enough to strap down, and be the sloppy seconds for has-been disco slut who's just realizing she's been making years of poor life decisions?

Not this man,

Yeah 'quick' sounds like its about right!!

gmisk

Chad Dazzling Applesauce wrote: »

Yeah, I was gonna make a thread about now being slightly older, hooking up with younger gals.

And how I don't really see older women hooking up with younger men.
Reason being simply cause, chicks get older, their personality changes, they don't keep their looks up, and they're basically no fun anymore.

If I saw a 45 year old who kept her body tight, her hair done right, her ass as it needs to be etc - I would absolutely not discriminate as to anything age related.


However, a more pressing matter came to my attention this morning during the Stephens day rush.

We'd knock into each other socially from time to time, and in my mind it was not a question of "if", but "when".

So I'm queuing up to pay for cubic zirconia studded belt, turn around, and who do I see only this CRACKING blonde, with a god damn pram in her hands.

Women are typically coy about letting you know they've gotten knocked up during their younger years.

I mean I get it, not like she's gonna live in a freezer - a young good looking woman, she's gonna go out, have some fun, get laid etc.
And hey - more power to you - sister!

But what is it, a trend?
Is it trendy to have some babies during this time period additionally?
Or is it just a case of, "got carried away, couldn't find the jism protectors in time"?

Either way, that's it.
I'm gone.
I've lost it.
As far as she's concerned, I'm in the f~~king twilight zone.

This chick is dead to me.
Worst case scenario, I'd give her a quick thrill in my apartment on a Saturday night, if I'd failed to hook up elsewhere but, let's face it;

What self respecting man is gonna realistically accept the sloppy seconds of some billy-bad-ass who didn't have sense enough to strap down, and be the sloppy seconds for has-been disco slut who's just realizing she's been making years of poor life decisions?

Not this man,

U ok hun?

Ipso

At least there are more than 140 characters.

relax carry on

I'm always equally baffled by those trolling posts/posters and those who feel the need to post whatever unaccompanied thought was bouncing off the walls of their skull. Is your life so lacking in attention that this is how you can connect in someway with other people?

bo0li5eumx12kp

relax carry on wrote: »

I'm always equally baffled by those trolling posts/posters and those who feel the need to post whatever unaccompanied thought was bouncing off the walls of their skull. Is your life so lacking in attention that this is how you can connect in someway with other people?

What do you think her point of view is, whilst she's bringing home strays each weekend, with her kid in the next room...?

"Hey, Mommy's gotta have a life too!"

Something like that?

I thought my folks were dorks growing up but, let me tell you, each day passes, I become more and more grateful they were dorks.

Church on Tuesday

"her ass as it needs to be etc"

Stop watching porn.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

relax carry on wrote: »

I'm always equally baffled by those trolling posts/posters and those who feel the need to post whatever unaccompanied thought was bouncing off the walls of their skull. Is your life so lacking in attention that this is how you can connect in someway with other people?

It’s just a pity anybody responded. Should’ve let him hit refresh every 10mins for the next 4 hours whilst his validation seeking thread dies on its arse.

bo0li5eumx12kp

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy wrote: »

It’s just a pity anybody responded. Should’ve let him hit refresh every 10mins for the next 4 hours whilst his validation seeking thread dies on its arse.

Validation, hmm?

I love it!

....

Now lavish me with the praise and adoration which I so richly deserve!


Do you think chicks get pregnant whilst they're teenagers, out of a need for validation also?

I see them, pushing the pram with this air like, "mother coming through!!".

Naggdefy

You probably should attend counselling. The whiff of desperation and neediness off you is strong. A really sad case of trying so hard.. to be edgy, cool, smart. All so transparent. Get help.

Spleerbun

Why do posts like this wind people up? It's clearly a piss take, harmless really.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

bo0li5eumx12kp

Naggdefy wrote: »

You probably should attend counselling. The whiff of desperation and neediness off you is strong. A really sad case of trying so hard.. to be edgy, cool, smart. All so transparent. Get help.

Well, from what I understand, Irish counselling services are overworked and under-resourced.

And lawd knows I wouldn't want to take the place of someone who might really need it - like that blonde disco-skanks kid in a couple years...

:pac:

Giblet

Lads we found him, the biggest virgin on the Internet!!

bo0li5eumx12kp

Spleerbun wrote: »

Why do posts like this wind people up? It's clearly a piss take, harmless really.

I like your light hearted sentiments.

However I can assure every reader here additionally that, unfortunately, every word of this is all too real.

frag420

Chad Dazzling Applesauce wrote: »

So I'm queuing up to pay for this cubic zirconia studded belt, turn around, and who do I see only this CRACKING blonde, with a god damn pram in her hands

She must have massive hands, perfect for slapping the sh1t outa ya!!

Naggdefy

Spleerbun wrote: »

Why do posts like this wind people up? It's clearly a piss take, harmless really.

No one replying is remotely wound up. But they know it takes a certain type to post like this, even as a piss take, and love putting them in their place.

mfceiling

The fùck is this about?

bo0li5eumx12kp

mfceiling wrote: »

The fùck is this about?

Having bastard children outside the sanctity of wedlock, throwing it about like a flooze with the billy-bad-ass demographic in youth, whilst then desperately trying to bag a worthwhile man once they realize raising children on social welfare exclusively carries a certain stigma.

I thought that was understood...?

Ronin247

Chad Dazzling Applesauce wrote: »

.........


I thought my folks were dorks growing up but, let me tell you, each day passes, I become more and more grateful they were dorks.

What do you get if you cross a dork with a dork???

bo0li5eumx12kp

Ronin247 wrote: »

What do you get if you cross a dork with a dork???

A dork with potential?


What do you get when you cross trash with more trash?

A lifetime social welfare benefactor.

Sharp MZ700

Great bantz OP.

Tell the truth, she blew you out, you went home, pulled yourself dry and now the SHAME is setting in. Anger is just around the corner.

Collie D

Cubic zirconia studded belt?!

Hahahhahahhahahahahahahahahahahaha...

Spleerbun

Naggdefy wrote: »

No one replying is remotely wound up. But they know it takes a certain type to post like this, even as a piss take, and love putting them in their place.

I dunno, all the replies calling out "pathetic desperation" and "spot the virgin" etc make it seem like OP has touched a nerve or two. People seem to be taking the post seriously

twowheelsonly

Chad Dazzling Applesauce wrote: »

Pfff - trust me, I got her juices flowing.

Well, I hope she had some good turkey for christmas, cause my delicious meat is now off the menu.

Reverting to your original post.....

Did you get her juices flowing during the 'if' or 'when' part of your fantasy ? 'Cos that's all it was..

bo0li5eumx12kp

twowheelsonly wrote: »

Reverting to your original post.....

Did you get her juices flowing during the 'if' or 'when' part of your fantasy ? 'Cos that's all it was..

Hate to say this but, you're obviously too inexperienced to understand the finer points.

See, I've hooked up with so many loose women, so many bar sluts, disco skanks, insecure, low self esteem - you name it.

Suffice to say, I have a PhD in pounding vaj.

Point being, when you've developed the level of expertise I have, you understand that most initial, flash reaction, everything that happens from there, getting sticky wise - it's all just a dominos effect of that.

No one makes that decision - it's written into the fabric of the universe itself.
No getting around it.

....

This chick basically undresses me with her eyes.

Had we gotten naked, well.... I don't need to dwell on specifics but, suffice to say, she would have been getting down and dirty with the quickness.

But she can kiss goodbye to that ever happening;

I don't get down with damaged goods.

Omackeral

Chad Dazzling Applesauce wrote: »

See, I've hooked up with so many loose women, so many bar sluts, disco skanks,

A horrendous way to speak about your family.

Signore Fancy Pants

This thread is worse than the film Van Wilder 3.

Naggdefy

Chad Dazzling Applesauce wrote: »

Hate to say this but, you're obviously too inexperienced to understand the finer points.

See, I've hooked up with so many loose women, so many bar sluts, disco skanks, insecure, low self esteem - you name it.

Suffice to say, I have a PhD in pounding vaj.

Point being, when you've developed the level of expertise I have, you understand that most initial, flash reaction, everything that happens from there, getting sticky wise - it's all just a dominos effect of that.

No one makes that decision - it's written into the fabric of the universe itself.
No getting around it.

....

This chick basically undresses me with her eyes.

Had we gotten naked, well.... I don't need to dwell on specifics but, suffice to say, she would have been getting down and dirty with the quickness.

But she can kiss goodbye to that ever happening;

I don't get down with damaged goods.

You seem to be contradicting yourself there. The first statement probaly says it all...that sums up all your able to pull.

bo0li5eumx12kp

Naggdefy wrote: »

You seem to be contradicting yourself there. The first statement probaly says it all...that sums up all your able to pull.

You're conflating "low self esteem" with "has children by another man - who's almost certainly some dip**** bottom feeder she thought was cool at the time".

I have nailed single moms before.
They're pretty easier targets, but - for times spans typically between 6 to 8 hours.

That I can live with.

I guess the real point I'm making is, hot or no, if she's got kids, don't expect me to be staying over for dinner or - to ridiculously suggest anything long term?

.....

I'm the incredible disappearing man.

Omackeral

Chad Dazzling Applesauce wrote: »

I have nailed single moms before.

That I can live with.

Just as suspected. Riding your own aul one ya dirty tramp.

Naggdefy

Chad Dazzling Applesauce wrote: »

You're conflating "low self esteem" with "has children by another man - who's almost certainly some dip**** bottom feeder she thought was cool at the time".

I have nailed single moms before.
They're pretty easier targets, but - for times spans typically between 6 to 8 hours.

That I can live with.

I guess the real point I'm making is, hot or no, if she's got kids, don't expect me to be staying over for dinner or - to ridiculously suggest anything term?

.....

I'm the incredible disappearing man.

Legend in your own mind. Self praise is no praise. A lot of old sayings apply to you. Anyone starting a BS thread with no point, like this one, is lacking a bit upstairs (in every sense) or really has no self esteem. Maybe a bit of both. A bit of professional help might be best to start off a new decade.

leggo

What really happened: some odd lad saw a girl he fancied in a shop, tried giving her the eye, she didn’t notice he existed, he got bitter and ran home to post this.

The girl now has no idea some weirdo just made a 500-word post about her on boards.ie based on an interaction she didn’t even realise was happening.

L.Jenkins

Chad Dazzling Applesauce wrote: »

...
What self respecting man is gonna realistically accept the sloppy seconds of some billy-bad-ass who didn't have sense enough to strap down, and be the sloppy seconds for has-been disco slut who's just realizing she's been making years of poor life decisions?

Not this man,

Your user name is certainly apt for the post you've just assaulted us all with this festive season.

Chad Dazzling Applesauce

Chad Dazzling Applesauce wrote: »

I thought my folks were dorks growing up but, let me tell you, each day passes, I become more and more grateful they were dorks.

Ronin247 wrote: »

What do you get if you cross a dork with a dork???

A dork who thinks ghetto talk will help 'mommy' get turned on again.



Limpdick Grumbling is probably a bit of a neckbearded pasty faced oddball who spent far too much time watching the vet or a farmer sticking their hand up animals holes.

Once his boredom and regional broadband accessibility overlapped, well, it was either these sad sack threads on boards or life as an unpaid cam-boy on F**kmyface.com

Either way, I wish him luck. Mommy's a tough one to nail. I had to give her a fiver and a bottle of sprite myself. For a saggy titted crack whore, she drives a hard bargain.

RWCNT

Naggdefy wrote: »

Pointless rambling, who cares less about what belt you're buying etc. At least Mr. Fegelein poses a clear question in his threads.

Mr Fegelein is the premier polemicist of our time.

Spleerbun

Spleerbun wrote: »

I dunno, all the replies calling out "pathetic desperation" and "spot the virgin" etc make it seem like OP has touched a nerve or two. People seem to be taking the post seriously

The OP has form. He's memorable in the same way you remember the last time you'd diarrhea.

Miike

OP. I'm really curious. Does your arse ever get jealous of the shít that comes from your brain?