Would you always love your child no matter what?

mr_fegelien

Assuming you have one. When watching documentaries of killers like Ted Budy, Timothy McVeigh, the Columbine Shooters, 9/11 hijackers ec., I wonder how the parents must feel knowing they're child they spawned is responsible for so much suffering and how they've tarnished their name.

I know in many cases like the 9/11 hijackers a lot of parents didn't even believe their kids were the hijackers and thought they were framed by the CIA. Probably a psychological denial because the truth would be too devastating.

What would the limits for you be in regards to loving your kids/not disowning them or do you have none?

Sorry about that

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Assuming you have one. When watching documentaries of killers like Ted Budy, Timothy McVeigh, the Columbine Shooters, 9/11 hijackers ec., I wonder how the parents must feel knowing they're child they spawned is responsible for so much suffering and how they've tarnished their name.

I know in many cases like the 9/11 hijackers a lot of parents didn't even believe their kids were the hijackers and thought they were framed by the CIA. Probably a psychological denial because the truth would be too devastating.

What would the limits for you be in regards to loving your kids/not disowning them or do you have none?

What are you planning?

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

That British paedophile who was killed in prison recently. His parents totally and unambiguously disowned him once they found out about the crimes. Fair play. I am not a believer in ‘blood is thicker than water’.

nkl12xtw5goz70

When you look at the likes of Ted Bundy and Timothy McVeigh, you inevitably find people who didn't get a whole lot of parental love when they were children. If they had, things might have turned out differently.

JohnnyFlash

My kids have jackeen accents. It makes me love them just a little bit less than I would otherwise. Thankfully neither of them have come to me and said they are closet Manchester United fans. Couldn’t deal with both together I think.

Purple Mountain

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

My kids have jackeen accents. It makes me love them just a little bit less than I would otherwise. Thankfully neither of them have come to me and said they are closet Manchester United fans. Couldn’t deal with both together I think.

Let me guess, anything less than Leinster rugby and they're disinherited?

endacl

Any child of mine who spent their spare time starting stupid threads would be in for a shock on will-reading day.

MrAbyss

Ian Watson's parents said the baby rapist would be remembered only for his music. I really can't understand this 'unconditional love' thing in situations like that.

endacl

MrAbyss wrote: »

Ian Watson's parents said the baby rapist would be remembered only for his music. I really can't understand this 'unconditional love' thing in situations like that.

Did Ian Watkin’s folks have anything to say on the matter?

anewme

MrAbyss wrote: »

Ian Watson's parents said the baby rapist would be remembered only for his music. I really can't understand this 'unconditional love' thing in situations like that.

He should just be exterminated.

No come back for this "article"

JohnnyFlash

Purple Mountain wrote: »

Let me guess, anything less than Leinster rugby and they're disinherited?

Guessed wrong, PM. The lads are into rugby, but their main interest is hurling (it’s a real ‘thing’ in the more salubrious parts of South Dublin these days).

I just wouldn’t want one of the little bastards arriving home, prancing around, and announcing to me in that accent that they had been spending time up in their room dressed up as a Manchester United supporter and watching reruns of true 1999 Champions League final.

I’d have to disown them.

MrAbyss

Wren Howling Miner wrote: »

When you look at the likes of Ted Bundy and Timothy McVeigh, you inevitably find people who didn't get a whole lot of parental love when they were children. If they had, things might have turned out differently.

Bundy came from a loving home of decent parents and like most psychopaths seem to have just manifested out of nowhere. Like they are another type of consciousness or something. Most psychopaths come from normal homes.


Timothy McVeigh was a misguided political zealot. You can't compare the two.

anewme

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Guessed wrong, PM. The lads are into rugby, but their main interest is hurling (it’s a real ‘thing’ in the more salubrious parts of South Dublin these days).

I just wouldn’t want one of the little bastards arriving home, prancing around, and announcing to me in that accent that they had been spending time up in their room dressed up as a Manchester United supporter and watching reruns of true 1999 Champions League final.

I’d have to disown them.

No offence, but am not sure if these posts are meant to be funny.

Foweva Awone

We are all a product of our genes and our environment. I think it's important to remember that.

I think it's possible to love and support and accept someone without condoning their actions and choices. As a recovering addict, I know all about being on the other side of that. I did some really awful things in my addiction. My family always supported me, but had to learn to do so with clear strong boundaries in order to protect themselves.

If my son ended up doing something awful, well if he were able to accept responsibility for his actions and was willing to try to change and try to do better, I'd happily support him. If he were to turn out to be a sociopath without conscience or remorse ... I don't think I'd ever stop loving him, but a point would come where I'd have to distance myself from him.

Purple Mountain

anewme wrote: »

No offence, but am not sure if these posts are meant to be funny.

No, he's right. Premier League football, or 'soccer' is only for the lower classes of society.
Drinking cheap cider and beating their chests like feral animals.
I'd be pretending I didn't know my offspring in a Man United or Leeds Jersey too.

the_syco

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

I am not a believer in ‘blood is thicker than water’.

The quote is actually "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb". This actually means that blood shed in battle bonds soldiers more strongly than simple genetics. So really it means the opposite of what people assume it means :pac:

EmmetSpiceland

Purple Mountain wrote: »

I'd be pretending I didn't know my offspring in a Man United or Leeds Jersey too.

Nothing wrong with the Mighty Leeds. There’s no chance any youngster would be wearing a United jersey.

Sure even the adult United fans over here have left the sinking ship and taken up supporting League of Ireland instead.

wakka12

I dont know how could I feel 'love ' for anybody who I know takes pleasure in causing others pain or death, such as in the case of serial killer child..A pretty extreme example ,but given the amount of times the parents go out of their way to try and defend their offpsring who are convicted rapists/murderers/paedophiles , it seems that something in your brain just changes and your love for this person youve created seems often to be unconditional. And its clearly not something a person without a child can have a really opniion on until theyre in that position themselves

anewme

Purple Mountain wrote: »

No, he's right. Premier League football, or 'soccer' is only for the lower classes of society.
Drinking cheap cider and beating their chests like feral animals.
I'd be pretending I didn't know my offspring in a Man United or Leeds Jersey too.

Is this supposed to be satire though is the question? A take off of Ross O'Carroll Kelly.?

I suppose if you have to ask, then it's not.

mr_fegelien

wakka12 wrote: »

I dont know how could I feel 'love ' for anybody who I know takes pleasure in causing others pain or death, such as in the case of serial killer child..A pretty extreme example ,but given the amount of times the parents go out of their way to try and defend their offpsring who are convicted rapists/murderers/paedophiles , it seems that something in your brain just changes and your love for this person youve created seems often to be unconditional. And its clearly not something a person without a child can have a really opniion on until theyre in that position themselves

What about terrorism like the 9/11 hijackers?

wakka12

mr_fegelien wrote: »

What about terrorism like the 9/11 hijackers?

Yeh, killing innocent people no matter the reason would go in my bad books of things that makes me fall out of love for my hypothetical child

Sunny Disposition

wakka12 wrote: »

Yeh, killing innocent people no matter the reason would go in my bad books of things that makes me fall out of love for my hypothetical child

Hypothetically you might think it’s possible to fall out of love with your son or daughter, but I doubt you could do it in the real world. Something in your brain changes when your little one arrives. I reckon anyone forgives their own eventually, for anything. You just can’t do otherwise. Unconditional love won’t be broken.

dreamers75

They own their decisions, 4 kids over the age of 15 that know right from wrong. We live in an interesting area (Neilstown) so there is always a chance of one of them doing something retarded.

Would imagine I would disown them having ensured they know right from wrong, it has yet to happen but still a possibility. Thats really all a parent can do is teach right from wrong and if they present their retarded idea to you, explain why its retarded and hope they take that advice. if they dont and follow through with it well.... who knows.

There is the other side tho some kid threatening to stab my youngest because of his sporting hobby (boxing), if my kid was to damage this kid I would back him up depending on the scenario.

andekwarhola

'Love' is ambiguous here. It's being mixed up with moralism. Yeah, i'd always love my kids and being honest, I don't think I could ever turn my back on them emotionally but that doesn't mean I'd condone their actions unconditoonally, cover up for them or not agree that they'd need to be safely away from society.

triona1

Only read bits and pieces but ive always said to my 4 kids aged 15-24 no matter what they do if they are in trouble to come to me and tell me but I'll ring the garda station,I'll visit them but wouldn't actually stand by them.

Melania Frump

Its like any love situation. You can love a person but not what they do. A mothers love is powerful but its not blind. It just depends on circumstance. If you find something illegal/abhorrent, you will still feel the same about the act even if the person that commited the act came from you.
I dont think a person could honestly answer this unless it was through personal experience.

Purple Mountain

anewme wrote: »

Is this supposed to be satire though is the question? A take off of Ross O'Carroll Kelly.?

I suppose if you have to ask, then it's not.

It is

dreamers75

Melania Frump wrote: »

Its like any love situation. You can love a person but not what they do. A mothers love is powerful but its not blind. It just depends on circumstance. If you find something illegal/abhorrent, you will still feel the same about the act even if the person that commited the act came from you.
I dont think a person could honestly answer this unless it was through personal experience.

Disagree on that, the parents of certain kids in the news recently paid huge sums to get their kids off.

Agreee with the 2nd part.

riemann

Well if they raped and killed an innocent girl in an abandoned house, I'd be sure to go to the courthouse and heckle the girls parents.

anewme

Purple Mountain wrote: »

It is

Ooops.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

MrAbyss wrote: »

Bundy came from a loving home of decent parents and like most psychopaths seem to have just manifested out of nowhere. Like they are another type of consciousness or something. Most psychopaths come from normal homes.


Timothy McVeigh was a misguided political zealot. You can't compare the two.

No he didn’t. The Netflix documentary earlier this year left out a lot of stuff about his early life. His grandfather who raised him as his son was a tyrant, not that that excuses any of his actions.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

the_syco wrote: »

The quote is actually "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb". This actually means that blood shed in battle bonds soldiers more strongly than simple genetics. So really it means the opposite of what people assume it means :pac:

Well, the opposite meaning is the one that has entered common parlance. Either way, I don’t believe in blind loyalty to family members.

nkl12xtw5goz70

MrAbyss wrote: »

Bundy came from a loving home of decent parents and like most psychopaths seem to have just manifested out of nowhere.

Bundy was born to an unwed mother. He never knew his biological father -- in fact, he was told at a young age that his grandparents were his parents and his mother was his sister.

Until the age of 4, he lived with his grandfather, a notoriously abusive and violent man who kicked dogs, swung cats by their tails, beat people, and once threw his own daughter down a flight of stairs for oversleeping. Bundy experienced physical and psychological abuse at the hands of his grandfather and began to exhibit his own violent tendencies at a young age.

Hardly the idyllic upbringing you're describing.

One eyed Jack

mr_fegelien wrote: »

What would the limits for you be in regards to loving your kids/not disowning them or do you have none?

Doesn’t actually take a whole lot to be honest, no need to go leaping to committing acts of terrorism, violence and all that other stuff. Being an asshole is enough for me to disown him. I wouldn’t say I love him in the traditional sense anyway because honestly that’s just weird. He’s my son, I raised him, but I raised him with the idea that I wouldn’t always be there for him, so he’s grown up fiercely independent and self-sufficient. Basically he doesn’t need me, but he knows how I feel about him anyway without having to put it into words.

silverharp

i'd draw the line at veganism

Graces7

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Well, the opposite meaning is the one that has entered common parlance. Either way, I don’t believe in blind loyalty to family members.

We speak of hating the sin but loving the sinner..

freshpopcorn

Just from what I have seen people often support their own at the end of the day dispite stuff they've said in the past about not supporting them.

corks finest

Yes ,,,live not necessarily like at times

corks finest

Yes , love always,like occasionally

branie2

I'd disown them if they were not Trekkies

Mad_maxx

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

That British paedophile who was killed in prison recently. His parents totally and unambiguously disowned him once they found out about the crimes. Fair play. I am not a believer in ‘blood is thicker than water’.

He's better dead for everyone, the world, his parents, his victims and himself

Whoever murdered him did a valuable deed

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

It's impossible to say how any of us would react, without having been in such a situation. It's beyond hypothetical.

riffmongous

the_syco wrote: »

The quote is actually "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb". This actually means that blood shed in battle bonds soldiers more strongly than simple genetics. So really it means the opposite of what people assume it means :pac:

Seems disputed