Watching Porn Together

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,

If a guy you'd been seeing/sleeping with for a few weeks asked you to watch porn with him, would you take it as a sign he doesn't respect you?

I met a few weeks ago and we've been having loads of fun. He recently asked if I'd be up for watching porn together and I said I'd think about it. Then I decided yeah, sure, could be fun! I've no problem with porn whatsoever. It got me thinking though that maybe he doesn't respect me as I don't think guys would ask a 'marriage material' type of girl to do this.
He also once asked if he could come on my t*ts but lots of guys ask that.

I'm hoping you guys will say don't be silly, just go have fun but the thought did cross my mind. Also, I worry if you're having almost too wild sex at the start then you'll have nowhere else to go really and it all be too much too soon with no excitement left (happened with a recent ex so probably why it concerns me)

What do you guys think?
Thanks!

jimmycrackcorm

Thrillmefrillme wrote: »

It got me thinking though that maybe he doesn't respect me as I don't think guys would ask a 'marriage material' type of girl to do this

Actually, a 'marriage material' type of girl is a girl who feels secure and comfortable enough to watch and enjoy porn with her husband, instead of him having to sneakily do it on his own.

bilbot79

Married people watch porn together all the time

LegacyUser

I love my girlfriend, she's an amazing woman

- beautiful
- intelligent
- good company etc etc

We have great sex, I cum on her boobs, I cum in her mouth, we don't do anal but she likes rimming etc

I think we do those things because they're fun and we're comfortable with each other. She definitely "marriage material". We just like each other, find each other attractive and like to experiment a little (nothing too wild tbh)

zapper55

There's two elements to this for me. A few weeks of sex and he wants to watch porn together, janey is he bored of the sex already? Also the type of porn he wants to watch will be very telling. Is it degrading and abusive to women? And there's plenty of porn out there that isnt.

Also, I would view watching porn together as something quite intimate emotionally. Can you trust each other not to be jealous. I can't put my finger on it but it'd be something I'd be keeping for a committed relationship, not some fella I'd be shagging for a few weeks.

Any time I've started watching porn with a boyfriend we'd get 30 seconds in, ignore the porn and rip each others clothes off instead.

LegacyUser

Maybe it's just me but any girl I've been serious about I wouldn't be asking to ejac on her tits or to watch porn together after a couple of weeks. I suppose when I really like someone any kind of sex is amazing at the start and it's usually a good bit later into the rel where things like this might come up.
So maybe this is just how he is sexually, which to me seems a bit odd at the start seeing someone, or he's just chancing his arm to do all sorts as he doesn't think much of you relationship wise and he's got nothing to lose, I know I may have been guilty of that myself when I was younger.

Calypso Realm

Hmm......it all depends. What is your relationship like otherwise? What kind of dates do you have? Have you discussed what you're both looking for?

A few weeks in I'd be a bit concerned he may be into something more casual with you, but of course it may not be the case at all, dependent on the above.

LegacyUser

Don't think it's a question about relationship material/casual so much as something a previous poster mentioned- at the start of a rel any sex is hot, if he's already looking to experiment I'd wonder does it take a lot to get him off, has he become desensitizes, are ye matched sexually. I found that guys that engaged in a lot of casual hook ups tended to focus on sex for sex's sake, and brought in other elements related to porn they'd seen, like it was more about the different positions they could pull and things they could do than being in the moment and connecting with you.. ..
Guys where there was a connection or love interest didn't seem to need that....then again, maybe it was coincidence and different sexual likes and compatibilities.....

bitofabind

What do you want from this guy? Do you want a long-term relationship and a future with him, or are you just in casual / see how it goes mode? Is there emotional intimacy there, do you click and have fundamental things in common beyond physical attraction?

I’d see the fact of this highly sexualised relationship after only a few weeks and the fact that this has been a pattern in a previous relationship as a red flag. That’s if you’re looking for more than something casual.

A strong sexual connection is great and all, but it doesn’t spell long term potential on its own and it’s the emotional intimacy and a mutual commitment of exclusivity / wanting the same things that will keep a couple together.

Oasis1974

bilbot79 wrote: »

Married people watch porn together all the time

You being serious you need to define porn some of it would make your stomach wrench......

Dial Hard

Oasis1974 wrote: »

You being serious you need to define porn some of it would make your stomach wrench......

Not all porn is created equal you know and yes, plenty of married couples watch it together. My husband and I did it regularly.

OP, there's some sterling advice above. There's no point in looking at the porn request in isolation, you need to view it in the context of how you guys interact overall and what you want out of this relationship. Incredibly intense sex is great but how are things when you're not in bed? Is he emotionally available? Do you do/talk about other "normal" (as in non-sexual) coupley stuff? Do you feel respected by him? Are you physically intimate other than the sex? All of these things will tell you a lot more about how he feels about you than forensically examining a request to watch porn together.

splinter65

OP do you want to watch porn with this guy? If you did I think that you would have just immediately said “yeah let’s do it but I’ve gotta tell you it makes me soo horny your going to need a stick to beat me off your dick afterwards”.
Instead you’ve gone off to ponder on the ramifications of the request, and further, the consequences of watching the porn with him.
Does this mean he only sees me as a sexual object?
Or
Does this mean that right now he’s getting to like me a lot as a person, likes the wild uninhibited sex we have too, but if I watch the porn with him he’ll lose respect for me and just see me as a sexual object from now on?
To me, if you have to try and work out what your best response to his request should be in order to turn this into a long lasting relationship then the answer is , no I don’t want to watch porn with you.
See how he responds to that. See how his attitude to you changes, or not.
If watching porn as a couple is a deal breaker for him, then ask yourself, is this a guy you want to be with long term?

cj maxx

He might be suggesting watching porn as a way or gauging your reactions to certain sex acts / positions. And also showing you what he thinks is erotic.
Not everyone is a confident, all knowing sex machine so watching a porno together in bed could just be an ice breaker . Importantly OP,
It's fun

Porklife

zapper55 wrote: »

There's two elements to this for me. A few weeks of sex and he wants to watch porn together, janey is he bored of the sex already? Also the type of porn he wants to watch will be very telling. Is it degrading and abusive to women? And there's plenty of porn out there that isnt.

Also, I would view watching porn together as something quite intimate emotionally. Can you trust each other not to be jealous. I can't put my finger on it but it'd be something I'd be keeping for a committed relationship, not some fella I'd be shagging for a few weeks.

Any time I've started watching porn with a boyfriend we'd get 30 seconds in, ignore the porn and rip each others clothes off instead.

Why would they be jealous? Bizarre comment.

Porklife

Anon User 2019 wrote: »

I love my girlfriend, she's an amazing woman

- beautiful
- intelligent
- good company etc etc

We have great sex, I cum on her boobs, I cum in her mouth, we don't do anal but she likes rimming etc

I think we do those things because they're fun and we're comfortable with each other. She definitely "marriage material". We just like each other, find each other attractive and like to experiment a little (nothing too wild tbh)

She's your girlfriend, that's the difference.

LegacyUser

Thank you so much for all the replies, you guys are the best! There really is some quality advice on here.
To answer some questions, we have a really fun relationship (if you could call it that). We haven't talked about being exclusive but we've been messaging everyday and spending alot of time together
We go for dinner, drinks, cinema etc and get along really well. Sex is really hot but my flatmate is always in the room next door so we've to be considerate of that and can't go wild. However this weekend he's away so we said we'd go nuts! That's when he suggested we watch porn. I like the idea, could be fun. Just concerned because a recent ex suggested the same and also anal amongst other things and dumped me the next day.
It felt really cheap. I felt used and disgusting.
Looking back though it's not a reflection on me. He was just a prick!
I've a super high libedo and so does my new guy so it is very sexual but it's also really fun

LegacyUser

Porklife wrote: »

She's your girlfriend, that's the difference.

Op asked "It got me thinking though that maybe he doesn't respect me as I don't think guys would ask a 'marriage material' type of girl to do this"

I do all those kind of things with a girl I'd call "marriage material" and I'd say we've barely scratched the surface versus what other couples get up to

Though it's not just about the porn etc. If you are both close, share common interests, feel a connection, really value each others time together etc then this is less of a red flag than if it is very casual. Watching porn together is no big deal IMO if you're already having sex

tupenny

There was a poster a while back who met an amazing guy picking up on drunk girls on the dance floor who asked for anal sex on the 2nd date and retrospectively the OP decided he was a total creep. Ring any bells? Sounds like this may be a similar path youre following.

tupenny

I mean porklife, really?

Samuel T. Cogley

Wouldnt worry about it unless he suggests to start making it...

ILoveYourVibes

Thrillmefrillme wrote: »

Hi Guys,

If a guy you'd been seeing/sleeping with for a few weeks asked you to watch porn with him, would you take it as a sign he doesn't respect you?

I met a few weeks ago and we've been having loads of fun. He recently asked if I'd be up for watching porn together and I said I'd think about it. Then I decided yeah, sure, could be fun! I've no problem with porn whatsoever. It got me thinking though that maybe he doesn't respect me as I don't think guys would ask a 'marriage material' type of girl to do this.
He also once asked if he could come on my t*ts but lots of guys ask that.

I'm hoping you guys will say don't be silly, just go have fun but the thought did cross my mind. Also, I worry if you're having almost too wild sex at the start then you'll have nowhere else to go really and it all be too much too soon with no excitement left (happened with a recent ex so probably why it concerns me)

What do you guys think?
Thanks!

Once its all consensual ...worry about how he treats you out of the bedroom if you want to see if you are marriage material.

If you feel ok with it ...then that is all that matters op.

Porklife

tupenny wrote: »

I mean porklife, really?

What? Are you asking me something? Bit confused!

leggo

The context you’ve added, for me, makes this fine and not something to be concerned about. You were planning to go wild and he suggested an idea for how you do so. It sounds like a nice setup where you both enjoy being together and feel liberated enough to experiment already, like he’s obviously off in his own time thinking about you and what you can do together. Where it’d be concerning was if absolutely everything was sex-focused and there was no intimacy or personal relationship, but that doesn’t sound like this from what you describe.

ILoveYourVibes

Thrillmefrillme wrote: »

Thank you so much for all the replies, you guys are the best! There really is some quality advice on here.
To answer some questions, we have a really fun relationship (if you could call it that). We haven't talked about being exclusive but we've been messaging everyday and spending alot of time together
We go for dinner, drinks, cinema etc and get along really well. Sex is really hot but my flatmate is always in the room next door so we've to be considerate of that and can't go wild. However this weekend he's away so we said we'd go nuts! That's when he suggested we watch porn. I like the idea, could be fun. Just concerned because a recent ex suggested the same and also anal amongst other things and dumped me the next day.
It felt really cheap. I felt used and disgusting.
Looking back though it's not a reflection on me. He was just a prick!
I've a super high libedo and so does my new guy so it is very sexual but it's also really fun

I think what you are saying is ...that the intimacy of the relationship needs to be firm and established before you explore stuff sexually?

Porklife

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

I think what you are saying is ...that the intimacy of the relationship needs to be firm and established before you explore stuff sexually?

I don't see that at all! I don't see where she's saying that.
Just have fun Op!

ILoveYourVibes

Porklife wrote: »

I don't see that at all! I don't see where she's saying that.
Just have fun Op!

Shrug i thought she was if not no worries

whiskeyman

My only worry is he's suggested this so early in the relationship.
A few weeks in?
Surely at this stage you don't need much to rip each others clothes off and have fun.

wirelessdude01

whiskeyman wrote: »

Surely at this stage you don't need much to rip each others clothes off and have fun.

Is it just me but isn't this exactly the stage where you rip each others clothes off?

joeguevara

wirelessdude01 wrote: »

Is it just me but isn't this exactly the stage where you rip each others clothes off?

I think the point the poster was making was it should be steamy enough at the beginning that you dont need p0rn to help.

nkl12xtw5goz70

Thrillmefrillme wrote: »

I met a few weeks ago and we've been having loads of fun. He recently asked if I'd be up for watching porn together and I said I'd think about it. Then I decided yeah, sure, could be fun! I've no problem with porn whatsoever. It got me thinking though that maybe he doesn't respect me as I don't think guys would ask a 'marriage material' type of girl to do this.
He also once asked if he could come on my t*ts but lots of guys ask that.

The last line there would be a red flag for me. He's already asking you to do things he's probably seen in porn.

The request to watch together could be about doing something naughty and fun — or it could be a veiled way of showing you the things he wants/expects you to do with him.

Personally, I'd have waited more than a few weeks with a new partner before bringing up something like this. I'd want to work on building intimacy first.

If you're genuinely looking for "marriage material," make sure the relationship is progressing on all fronts in a mutually satisfying way, and that it doesn't just become a way for him to live out fantasies from porn.

joeguevara

Ok. Firstly don't be worried about marriage material. Years away.

Secondly if your not comfortable with a request that's your perogative.

Finally if you find something fun to with it.

Just be comfortable and enjoy your self.

osarusan

If the porn is just a way to add another layer of excitement, I don't see the issue.

If it turns out to be a way for him to 'suggest' certain acts, it might a different story.