Bad decision buying

Fiftyfilthy

I bought an apartment in Dublin over the summer. Delighted with the apartment but as ridiculous as this will sound , Ive realized how much I detest my job and this city

I’ve lived here 20 years and thought i was reasonably happy here but no I hate the country

What would be my best options ?

(Yes I know ridiculous situation )

listermint

I don't think this is an accommodation issue. I think it's a more values based question.

As in what brings you joy.

Small changes can change your outlook . The apartment most likely had nothing to do with the question

drunkmonkey

Sell up and hopefully get out without much of a haircut. I doubt you hate the whole country just Dublin, comes a point when you have to get out of there.

NIMAN

So are you hinting you want to sell up and move out of Dublin/Ireland?

Fiftyfilthy

NIMAN wrote: »

So are you hinting you want to sell up and move out of Dublin/Ireland?

I’m not hinting at anything

My child’s mum died this year
Work isn’t going great lately
Bringing a child up in a city like Dublin with no family is a big ask


I should have weighed this up and I did but think with work I’ve just re-evaluated everything

drunkmonkey

Grief does that sorry for your loss. If you can go somewhere closer to family it'd probably make life a lot easier. You might take a step back in wages but life will be cheaper and run at a different pace.

PhilipJ

Fiftyfilthy wrote: »

I’m not hinting at anything

My child’s mum died this year
Work isn’t going great lately
Bringing a child up in a city like Dublin with no family is a big ask


I should have weighed this up and I did but think with work I’ve just re-evaluated everything

Try no to be hard on yourself. You probably did weigh it up at the time, circumstance has changed life for you both. Myself personally i would sell up and move closer to where i have family support. Best of luck...

Mad_maxx

Fiftyfilthy wrote: »

I bought an apartment in Dublin over the summer. Delighted with the apartment but as ridiculous as this will sound , Ive realized how much I detest my job and this city

I’ve lived here 20 years and thought i was reasonably happy here but no I hate the country

What would be my best options ?

(Yes I know ridiculous situation )

It's not ridiculous at all and you didn't buy in the far corner of Leitrim

Sell it again if you wish, even you loose a little money, what of it. Important decisions always make us nervous

Doubt you loose much anyway

AlmightyCushion

Fiftyfilthy wrote: »

I’m not hinting at anything

My child’s mum died this year
Work isn’t going great lately
Bringing a child up in a city like Dublin with no family is a big ask


I should have weighed this up and I did but think with work I’ve just re-evaluated everything

Sorry to hear about your loss. Can you get a job in your field somewhere that is closer to family? Would you be happy living there (Or at least happier than you are now)? If so, selling up and moving there is probably your best bet.

Alkers

Where are you from?
Where are your family from?
What age is your kid?
Getting your own place in Dublin is a serous achievement, particularly on a single income. On the plus side, you will be able to afford something ANYWHERE else in the country if you do decide to move!

saabsaab

That's a rough position to be in. I'm not the best to take advice myself but if you can get advice from someone or better a few people and get a plan together to make the changes you need in your life. Take it in small steps at first (change that is) Do something different every day, look at your financial options, imagine a better life sometime, somewhere in your future and work towards that.

ncmc

All I would say is, maybe don't make any major decisions while you are still grieving and going through such a massive upheaval. I can understand you wanting to be nearer to family, but depending on the age of your child, it might be a big upheaval to up sticks and move on top of the trauma of losing his mum. If he's at school, has friends etc, it might be a bit wrench for him, what does he want to do, does he want to stay in Dublin or move? Maybe wait a few months til after Christmas at least until the dust has settled a bit. But if you are resolute and are certain of your decision then sell the apartment and go for it. If you lose anything at all, it hopefully won't be too much and your mental health and wellbeing is worth more than any money.

Fiftyfilthy

Child is 11 and born in Dublin and loves here. Part of my decision to stay was because she is very settled here

Where I’m originally from is a very remote area, jobs are scarce

Thanks for all the advice, thought originally was an accommodation and property issue , probably less so ,

Tiddlypeeps

Would you consider renting? You could rent the apartment and it should mostly cover the mortgage and then rent somewhere closer to family. That way you can try it out for a bit and if you can't find sustainable work or the kid is really miserable over the move then you always have the option to move back. Fairly low risk way of trying it out.

The_Conductor

Perhaps a new job might assist? As-in- get out of the city centre- and the rat race it entails- without physically moving- maybe go in the opposite direction of some of the commuters in the morning- and reciprocate in the evening? Lots of companies on the outskirts of Dublin are recruiting like mad- covering most disciplines.

I'm sorry to hear about your daughter's mother- I appreciate you made choices based on a set of assumptions that have changed- however, there is no reason to imagine that the choices you made under different circumstances- are set in stone. Life is short, and sometimes cruel- the least you can do is sit down and evaluate what your options are- and perhaps do up a roadmap- you are currently at A- but want to get to B- how do you get to B in a series of stepping stones?

You don't have to make some massive decision to up sticks and change your life- you can make small changes- that incrementally, just might make you a lot happier.

disposableFish

That's a tough situation but I'd avoid doing anything rash.

Major upheavals take some time to adjust to, you will adjust and it won't seem so bad.
When you're in a rut it's easy to look for a silver-bullet, but maybe that's not all it's cracked up to be.
Work always goes through good and bad patches, but often it's a reflection on what's going on in your own head. There's probably people you're glad you see every dat. Wait it out a bit, change if you want to.

You've been in Dublin 20 years, there's probably a lot more you like about the place than you realise and a lot more you'll miss being in the sticks (I know, I grew up in a small village).
Your kid will make new friends if you move to the country, but they'll never have the opportunities that you have where you are and you'll find yourself spending ages in the car travelling to do anything at all that either you or your kid want to do(if it's even available).
Country life can be a lot more lonesome than you think.

In a city there's bound to be a lot more people in similar positions. Work on finding others, developing those social networks (take up some new activities?) - there's plenty of parents around who'll be all too familiar with the struggle, and you might be able to share load a bit.

Edit: and y'know just in general, you've made it this far - you're stronger than it feels right now.

Del2005

Fiftyfilthy wrote: »

Child is 11 and born in Dublin and loves here. Part of my decision to stay was because she is very settled here

Where I’m originally from is a very remote area, jobs are scarce

Thanks for all the advice, thought originally was an accommodation and property issue , probably less so ,

Would your child be happy with loosing her mother and then having to loose all her friends in a short time?

Can you take a sabbatical or carer break to get your head together?

JohnnyChimpo

People are giving you property-focused answers because you asked a property question in a property forum - but based on the info from your OP I'm going to strongly suggest that you book at least a few sessions with a mental health professional. Most Irish people are still resolutely opposed to the idea, but sounds like you have a lot of stressors and upheaval in your life which are feeding into your decision-making process right now, so it would be good to get a mental MOT.

AlmightyCushion

Fiftyfilthy wrote: »

Child is 11 and born in Dublin and loves here. Part of my decision to stay was because she is very settled here

Where I’m originally from is a very remote area, jobs are scarce

Thanks for all the advice, thought originally was an accommodation and property issue , probably less so ,

In this case, I don't think selling up and moving back home is a good idea. You're just trading one set of problems for another.

If you hate your job as much as it comes across, then you should start dusting off that CV and see what's out there.

gandalf

TBH I'd give it some time before you make a massive decision like this. If your daughter is settled then a move will be very tough on her but if you do decide to move do it during the summer holidays to minimise disruption.

OwlsZat

I'd be inclined to agree with your thinking. There is a plethora of people leaving Dublin at present. For what you can get elsewhere it's hard to make a case for it.

Sorry to hear your predicament btw. I lost a family member in the lost tragic circumstances and can whole heartedly agree that it can completely change your perspective on life. Take some time as advised discuss it as much as possible with friends and loved ones. Pick out some options and be honest in drawing up the pros and cons. I'm sure if you are analytical about it the answer will be obvious. Best of luck with it.

AlmightyCushion

OwlsZat wrote: »

I'd be inclined to agree with your thinking. There is a plethora of people leaving Dublin at present. For what you can get elsewhere it's hard to make a case for it.

Sorry to hear your predicament btw. I lost a family member in the lost tragic circumstances and can whole heartedly agree that it can completely change your perspective on life. Take some time as advised discuss it as much as possible with friends and loved ones. Pick out some options and be honest in drawing up the pros and cons. I'm sure if you are analytical about it the answer will be obvious. Best of luck with it.

I don't think it's that obvious. He's finding it difficult to bring up a child in Dublin with no family. However, where his family his family lives is remote and employment is scarce. He'll struggle there financially. The child loves Dublin as well so there's a chance she won't like moving to somewhere so remote, he may not like it as well.

OP hates his job so changing to one he likes or at least doesn't hate will definitely improve his mood. Your job has a big impact on your life. Working a job you hate, really sours other aspects of your life. Plus, if he can find a job that allows for more flexibility (flexi-time, working from home etc), it might making his home life easier too.

riclad

My advice is try and find a job in dublin ,that suits you in terms of wellbeing , personal happiness .
Even if the salary is slightly lower than the one you have now .
I don,t think its practical to move to a rural area where there few job,s .
You could rent out your house, and rent a house on the edge of dublin ,
near a railway station or with maybe 30 minutes commute distance of dublin .
i understand if you are living in a new location ,it takes time to adjust,
in terms of making friends .
You may feel isolated because you know no one in the area .