Separated Wife trying to force us into Arrears on Mortgage

Rezident

I have to wait weeks for free legal advice and this is worrying me so much I am not sure I will last that long, any info would be greatly appreciated. Seriously.

My wife stopped paying her half of the mortgage years ago, even though she earns more than I do. I can pay my half of the mortgage but am struggling paying her half on top for the last few years but she has always refused saying she would pay for groceries etc. instead.

She abandoned the family home in June and is now trying to force me into arrears to sell the house immediately. Even though this will obviously affect her credit rating too as we are both named on the house she does not seem to care.

What on earth are you supposed to do? I have to wait weeks for FLAC.

coylemj

You've been paying the full mortgage since 'years ago' when she stopped contributing her half. How can she force you into arrears?

neris

have you tried talking the bank and explaining the situation?

skallywag

coylemj wrote: »

You've been paying the full mortgage since 'years ago' when she stopped contributing her half. How can she force you into arrears?

Did you read the next sentence? The 'struggling' part?

Sin City

Rezident wrote: »

I have to wait weeks for free legal advice and this is worrying me so much I am not sure I will last that long, any info would be greatly appreciated. Seriously.

My wife stopped paying her half of the mortgage years ago, even though she earns more than I do. I can pay my half of the mortgage but am struggling paying her half on top for the last few years but she has always refused saying she would pay for groceries etc. instead.

She abandoned the family home in June and is now trying to force me into arrears to sell the house immediately. Even though this will obviously affect her credit rating too as we are both named on the house she does not seem to care.

What on earth are you supposed to do? I have to wait weeks for FLAC.

Im in the same situation OP
try and talk to the bank and see if they can do something about reducing the interest rate
explain the situation to them and they'll send out a financial repayment statement

Might help you reduce your payments

is_that_so

Rezident wrote: »

I have to wait weeks for free legal advice and this is worrying me so much I am not sure I will last that long, any info would be greatly appreciated. Seriously.

My wife stopped paying her half of the mortgage years ago, even though she earns more than I do. I can pay my half of the mortgage but am struggling paying her half on top for the last few years but she has always refused saying she would pay for groceries etc. instead.

She abandoned the family home in June and is now trying to force me into arrears to sell the house immediately. Even though this will obviously affect her credit rating too as we are both named on the house she does not seem to care.

What on earth are you supposed to do? I have to wait weeks for FLAC.

If there are kids involved it's doubtful she can force anything. Courts will side with them. Yeah, second talking to the bank on it, ASAP. Tell them everything that is going on.

BronsonTB

OP, Have you any children?

Is the house in neg equity? If so by how much?

Which bank do you have the mortgage with?

It will be important you can show exactly when she stopped paying & proof to show you have been managing by yourself.

Are you on talking terms with her?

Checking options with the bank will also be important. (Switching / interest only / formal house valuation / lower interest rate etc)

Took me years to finally sort mine.

Rezident

neris wrote: »

have you tried talking the bank and explaining the situation?

Not directly, I have been on to MABS ,they said they will deal with the bank but the bank might be slow getting back as we are not in arrears yet.

Rezident

is_that_so wrote: »

If there are kids involved it's doubtful she can force anything. Courts will side with them. Yeah, second talking to the bank on it, ASAP. Tell them everything that is going on.

Yes there are two wonderful kids involved, sadly. She is demanding crazy maintenance now that she knows I cannot afford to force me to sell the house immediately. She doesn't seem to care (or understand) that it will affect her credit rating too if we go into arrears! She's in full on destruction mode.

Rezident

BronsonTB wrote: »

OP, Have you any children?

Is the house in neg equity? If so by how much?

Which bank do you have the mortgage with?

It will be important you can show exactly when she stopped paying & proof to show you have been managing by yourself.

Are you on talking terms with her?

Checking options with the bank will also be important. (Switching / interest only / formal house valuation / lower interest rate etc)

Took me years to finally sort mine.

Yes two children.


No the house is not in negative equity.


KBC


Yes of course it is all in the bank records.


I am on talking terms with her when she is in a good mood, when she's in a depression, it is impossible, even her mother can't get through to her this time. I'm on good terms with all her family, they are good people, she is not well but in denial but I am painfully aware that fathers have seemingly zero rights here and mothers seem to have all the rights.

What's the best thing to do?

BronsonTB

In my case I went to a family mediation centre.
They take both circumstances into account & try to come up with a suggested agreement between you both.
You then go to court asking the judge to approve it by court order.
(Cheapest as you are not tied up in solicitor fees & court dates)

My ex was very awkward & it dragged out a lot longer than it should have.

KBC were particularly poor at being any help at all. You'll need a good solicitor to keep them in check.

Are you able to take on the remaining mortgage with a different provider in your own name?

If the kids are with you, stay in the house at all costs. A judge will always favour keeping the kids in the home house.

the_syco

BronsonTB wrote: »

If the kids are with you, stay in the house at all costs. A judge will always favour keeping the kids in the home house.

From the line

Rezident wrote: »

She is demanding crazy maintenance now that she knows I cannot afford to force me to sell the house immediately.

It seems that the children live with her.

I'm wondering what her endgame is? If the house is sold, where shall she live with the two children?

dbas

Get onto these. They seem very helpful and knowledgeable

https://www.mortgageholders.ie/

Well done

Mr. Incognito

Hello there

FLAC will not be able to help you. Its a 20 min consultation to say whether its a legal issue or not.

You need a solicitor. Badly.

Contact the bank. There's flexibility there to split a mortgage and go after the person not paying the arrears. You shouldnt be paying her debt.

BronsonTB

Check your mortgage terms very carefully with a solicitor. In my case (KBC) had it in the terms they could come after each party for the full debt. (Jointly liable but could also chase either party for the full remaining debt)
Until the mortgage goes into arrears they were of no help.

You really need a good solicitor & to got to court to get a legally binding court ruling in the eyes of the law. That way your ex cannot keep changing the goal posts.