Feel stuck in my job

LegacyUser

I'm in my late 20s and in a steady job with a decent income. In a lot of ways I am grateful. In my mid 20s I wasn't able to work due to ill health.
I'm back now working and I've managed to save a fair bit.
In 2-3 years I'd hope to be able to have a deposit together for a house.

But everything else in my life is so unfulfilled.
I've no close friends just people I know from work and I get on fairly well with almost everyone.

I work 12 hour days and my job is extremely stressful with a lot of responsibility. Theres so much expected of me and everyone I work with. There's risk of physical injury too and I've seen a close friend no longer able to work at the job because of an injury she received at work.

This Christmas I'll be working Christmas eve and Christmas day. It's hit me harder than I expected to be honest. I love spending that time with my family and that's not going to happen this year.
I don't see them nearly as much as I like. I talk to them on the phone. It's tough to get the time to visit. Alot of the time it's just not an option. It's a long drive home and if I don't have a couple of days off together it's not worth it.

This is the TLDR bit: I would love to change jobs. But I also really want to accomplish something and for me that would be owning my own home in my early 30s.
If I changed jobs now I'd realistically have to go back to college. That would mean kissing goodbye to my savings and the owning my own home dream.
Even setting that aside, I wasn't very studious when I was in college so my degree is poor. This limits me in what I can do with it.
I was very young and because I was young and went straight into work I don't know how to do anything else.

I'd just love to be happy and fulfilled in my working life. I'm not. I'm going through the motions and I'm far too worried about making a mistake and trying to maintain 100% concentration for 12 hours straight when I'm tired and my head is fried. I just can't see any way out.

I try very hard at work but alot of the time I'm just off the pace and when I make mistakes I feel even worse.

I try to be grateful for what I have but it's so difficult. I have a job, some people would love to be where I am. But the strongest feelings are stress and the sense of being stuck.

Any thoughts or advice welcome. Feel free to call me a moany git.

strandroad

Well done on your achiements so far. It doesn't sound like this line of work has any future though does it? If you stay you might ruin your health and still not achieve what you wanted. Can you find an easier, 9 to 5 job as a springboard to retrain through a part time course maybe? You won't be saving as much but even if it takes longer ultimately it will be infinitely healthier and more satisfying to have a job you like as well as your dream house.

Upforthematch

Hi Op,

I agree with strandroad's advice above.

The big positives in your post is the high level of savings you have gathered - well done! And well done for getting back on your feet after your illness.

If this job is not one you want to be in this time next year it's time to start using linkedin, interviewing etc... Now is a great time to look around - use your current (very responsible sounding) job as your experience to apply for another.

Maybe look at the little things that you could change ASAP.

You mightn't be home for Christmas, but how about making some really nice plans with your family for new years or the following week?

You mightn't have a great circle of friends (many don't BTW)butwhy not try one activity you are interested in on a Saturday or Sunday. Walking club, language class etc... something that has *no pressure* but the opportunity to meet people.

You sound very paranoid about making mistakes - is that your personality or your workplace environment? Everyone makes a mistake - have you been balled out of it by a manager for making one so far? If not, don't catastrophise, if yes, give your boss two fingers behind their back and keep planning day by day for your future house!!

Keep going op!!