Potty Training....HELP!!!!!

RubyB82

We started training my daughter in July (she’s just turned 3 this week). She hadn’t shown any signs of being ready in July just I had some time off work so it was the perfect opportunity. Anywho she absolutely hated it from the start..she’s never really liked being messy and I think this might play a part in it also. She begged to have her nappies back and there was a few occasions were she was near hysterical at the mention of using the potty or toilet. We put her into pull up which she quite happily peed in however there was no sign of using toilet/potty no matter what bribery was used.

Fast forward to end of aug/start of sept we upped the focus on potty training as the playschool she’s enrolled in will only accept potty trained children which means if she poops I’ve to leave work to change her, things went quiet intense. We’ve had a few wee’s in the potty but only after hours of her with holding and having no other option but to pee in the potty and one poo..which was very stressful for all of us.

she’s gotten so bad we have decided to start from scratch and put her back into nappies for a few weeks and give her a break however now she won’t even pee in her nappy. She’s frequently hysterical after withholding her urine for hours on end asking for a nappy to be put on her even tho it’s already on her. I just don’t know how to proceed from here and I’m so worried about her. I’ve rung the district nurse who’s advised to bring her to doc to check for a kidney infection, also advises to put training on hold however had no suggestions when I advised we had but she won’t even go in her nappy.

So basically she old goes at night or sometimes during her afternoon nap..as sometimes she will wake up from her nap dry.

As this is our only child I think I’ve really messed up her training and hoping I can fix it.

Really hoping people have experienced something similar and have some advice.

Lolococo

Would you consider leaving her in pull ups for a while until she feels comfortable herself going to the toilet? Not quite nappies so at least she will feel like she is progressing.

The One Doctor

Lolococo wrote: »

Would you consider leaving her in pull ups for a while until she feels comfortable herself going to the toilet? Not quite nappies so at least she will feel like she is progressing.

Yep, this is the best way. Relax, she'll do it in her own time.

angeldelight

I think you have to completely drop it for at least a few months unless she brings it up in the meantime. When she’s ready it will happen so much easier

jlm29

My advice is to forget about playschool. The new lower age puts sone pressure on parents and kids and it’s just wrong. I have a December baby and he didn’t go for his first year because of toilet training.
You haven’t messed it up, she will get there in the end. I’d go completely back to nappies and try again after Christmas, or whenever she shows signs of readiness.
I would say that a couple of days back in nappies and she will be back to going as normal, but obv if not, head for the GP

shesty

As above.I would also just not mention it at all as a topic-nappies, toilets, nothing.
If she has to wait a few months to start preschool it is not the end of the world.

Ciarrai76

My little boy turned 3 in July but he is totally uninterested in using the potty/toilet so we have had to pause it for a while. We are still asking him to use toilet and using pull ups. Thankfully the preschool he goes to aren’t pushy and have told us to relax and are also encouraging him to sit on toilet. They said he will do it when he is ready and the fact other kids in his class are also starting to train will get him more interested! I am hoping we have it all done and dusted by Christmas....I hope! I’ve never looked forward to this bit!

Princess Calla

I have to be honest I love reading this thread

Before we started training everyone said take a week off work and you'll be done and dusted. Their children were trained at 2.5 etc etc.

I heard no horror stories at all.

Roll on me trying to train... Everyone in the house was crying... We tried stickers, treats everything we could think of. We were advised to skip the potty so got the stepladder type seat for the toilet... The wee kinda took easy enough, but my god the poo was a nightmare.

A year in and still not 100% they will wet their pants in defiance, though thankfully poo is sorted. They also won't go to toilet on their own so still have night nappies. Won't use toilet in preschool. Will only use toilet in a relatives house when plonked on it....so far haven't needed to use public toilets but dreading that one!

So your not alone op, I've no advice as I'm struggling and probably could have handled things better. It does click for them though! It takes time and lots of it!

shesty

Well we are at age 5 and the first literally will not go til she is bow-legged for fear she might miss out on something-still.The number of accidents (mainly poo related) due to leaving it too late is still ridiculous.Took bloody ages to train her -months, almost a year.Wees no bother, poos -disaster. (i didn't get hung up on nightime admittedly)

Meanwhile Ms. three year old trained in 1.5 days (aged two and eight months),- I was armed with piles of extra clothes,new mop, family packs of dettol wipes, the works, and she literally took the wind from my sails when she told me to get out of the toilet on day 3 because "i need privacy".

So I am washing my hands of having any knowledge of how to go about the whole process.My only advice is the more they know you want them to do it, the harder you are making it for yourself.And I would leave to an older age if it can be managed.It is a pet hate for me, can't stand it.

Princess Calla

We did two proper standy up wees that didn't go everywhere bar the toilet tonight. Super proud mammy here tried to start it a few months ago but he wasn't sold. Gave up! The crèche was refurbished over the summer and they now have urinals so I'm thinking he might want to join in

I have a funny feeling the youngest will be easier to train as he adapts to change alot better.

Princess Calla

she literally took the wind from my sails when she told me to get out of the toilet on day 3 because "i need privacy".



Love this
Wait until she's a teenager, you'll have your hands full

PhoenixParker

My son is a very similar age and has had some of the same issues.

He was at the with holding for hours panicking asking for a nappy in May. He'd sit quite happily on the potty for 2 or 3 hours, then panic and get up, possibly beg for a nappy, then frequently have an accident or go straight away in the nappy. He hates accidents and being messy too.

We were on holidays in July and did lots of nappy free time at the beach & pool. He pretty much just held it the whole time, rarely had an accident though there was no pressure either way.

We tried training him again at the end of July. He had a few accidents and long hours of holding but he got it very quickly. A touch of bribery (stickers) did help. Poo took a little longer and he went long periods with none. He has it now though. He'll still hold if he's not comfortable to go occasionally. Tbh I wish I had his bladder control.

If she can hold it then she's 3/4 of the way there. She knows she needs to go and can stop herself. The missing bit is being able to release on cue. She's very close.

In six weeks or so, maybe less, I'd try going with her to buy a sparkly new potty just for her. Leave the nappy on her but if she's been dry a few hours or you spot the pee pee dance ask does she want to try the potty. Give her a small sticker for trying and a big sticker for succeeding. Two or three successes and she'll have it mastered.

jlm29

Princess Calla wrote: »

We did two proper standy up wees that didn't go everywhere bar the toilet tonight. Super proud mammy here tried to start it a few months ago but he wasn't sold. Gave up! The crèche was refurbished over the summer and they now have urinals so I'm thinking he might want to join in

I have a funny feeling the youngest will be easier to train as he adapts to change alot better.

Before you know it he’ll be peeing in the garden!

glennhysen

We've just finished training our youngest. And as a Dad of our 4 boys, the one thing i've learned is that it doesn't matter what you do, they will only get it when they are ready and based on my lads that could anywhere be from 2.5 yrs to nearly 4 yrs!

What worked recently for our youngest was that one morning he threw his cereal in the toilet and used it for target practice! Go figure??