Someone set up fake profile of me on dating site

LegacyUser

Hi,

In a happy relationship, all going well with life, and this weekend, BAM, someone somewhere set up a fake profile of me on POF. It is using a profile picture of me with a picture that I'm 99 per cent sure is a snapchat picture I sent anywhere in the last 2-6 months, I can't place the picture at all. The profile has some right info on me, some wrong.

It was seen by a friend of other half's relative over the weekend, and then supposedly was deleted after this. Now as much as I can tell everyone it wasn't me (it absolutely wasn't - for clarity), but I've a niggling feeling that unless I can prove who it was, there'll always be someone who doesn't believe me.

What is the best way to approach it? I'm guessing POF won't give me any details such as IP address and country of where it was set up? I have a pretty small group on Snapchat that I could have sent the picture to, do I approach them? Unfortunately I didn't save the picture so I can't pinpoint when or who possibly I sent it.

zapper55

Someone deranged enough to do this is never going to admit it was them. Look if you arent on the phone the whole time and disappearing for dates then its pretty obvious it's not you. Theres no way of finding out who it is. And pof will not give you the info.

wiggle16

I don't use Snapchat so I could be talking nonsense... BUT, as far as I remember if you send someone a picture on snapchat and they take a screenshot of it (which this person would have to have done to have a copy of the picture) you get a notification of this to let you know they've done that.

If you no longer have the notification, would it be an idea to contact snapchat to see if they can provide you with a list of your previous notifications/times your messages were screenshotted? After all, that's your own info.That might narrow it down.

seamus

ProveItWasntMe wrote: »

I've a niggling feeling that unless I can prove who it was, there'll always be someone who doesn't believe me.

Which may have been the goal of whoever set it up. Either a mate just trying to take the piss, or someone who fancies your other half trying to sabotage your relationship.

Or it could have been someone who wanted to see what the story was with POF, but didn't want to sign up as themselves, so instead used a photo of you from their gallery and put in little bits of info. Stupid, thoughtless, but not malicious. And once they realised the implication, they deleted it.

Some people are that dumb. As said above, whoever did it is not going to come clean in any case.

What is the best way to approach it?

Forget about it, move on. If someone continues not believing you, then it tells you everything you need to know about what they think of you, and you can keep that individual at arm's length.

It is upsetting, bordering on a personal violation. But I think getting obsessed over it may do more harm than the initial act itself. The odds of finding out who set it up are tiny. So letting it go might be the best way to go.

wiggle16 wrote: »

I don't use Snapchat so I could be talking nonsense... BUT, as far as I remember if you send someone a picture on snapchat and they take a screenshot of it (which this person would have to have done to have a copy of the picture) you get a notification of this to let you know they've done that.

There are always ways around this thing. If someone has hacked their phone, they can install software that saves all their Snapchats without notifying the sender. Snapchat have been very negligent in this whole thing by telling users their pictures are temporary when they aren't.

cj maxx

OP, best thing you can do imo is to report to gardai.

NotToScale

Report it to the Gardai and also to the dating site in question. They'll pull the profile.

I would definitely follow that through legally as it's potentially blackmail or some kind of attempt to damage you.

Dial Hard

NotToScale wrote: »

Report it to the Gardai and also to the dating site in question. They'll pull the profile.

I would definitely follow that through legally as it's potentially blackmail or some kind of attempt to damage you.

The profile has already been deleted.

Also, the gardai? Seriously??? I get that the OP is annoyed and a bit fearful but do people honestly think the gardai are going to do anything about this? Or even could do anything about it? These sites are hosted in the US.

NotToScale

Dial Hard wrote: »

The profile has already been deleted.

Also, the gardai? Seriously??? I get that the OP is annoyed and a bit fearful but do people honestly think the gardai are going to do anything about this? Or even could do anything about it? These sites are hosted in the US.

Absolutely can if there's local involvement and a stalker, harassment or blackmail issue going on.

Plenty of Fish is run by the Match Group, as is Tinder and several other sites and their European base is in Dublin.
You'd be surprised at what a warrant could dig up, particularly where a user has violated T&Cs of the site anyway. They'll have zero interest in protecting someone.

cj maxx

definely make report to the gardai. there might be little they can do , but if the site is hosted in ireland then as posted above a warrant might show up something to help the OP . and if in the future the OP dicovers who did it there is a case number on file with gardai

Rosedust84

I don't understand all these posts saying go to the Gardai? They have more important business to not be taking care of. As said above, there are a few reasons it may have happened, if it happened again then I would start to question it but at this stage, just let it go. If it was a Snapchat pic it was probably one of the lads having a laugh?

Detective work is only going to drive you crazy, especially if you don't get anywhere. Similar happened to me years ago on Bebo (so obviously long ago!), but it was much more serious, I knew who it was, they kept making daily profiles, and it was really disgusting and bullying towards me and my family. My bf at the time called the Guards, they were somewhat sympathetic but said there was little they could do, in the grand scheme of things, they have dangerous crimes to chase up on. Ironically the bully ended up doing a little jail time for picking on some politician but yes, long story short, best thing you can do for yourself at the moment is let it go, worrying will drive you mental, sorry to be harsh but unless it escalates move on

leggo

At the end of the day, anyone who hears this and doesn’t believe you is someone who has a negative opinion of you anyway and would use this to validate that, so they’re not worth concerning themselves with. All that will do is provide you with a handy filter of people not to bother yourself with in your life.

In terms of the legality, as much of a pain as it is I can’t really see what crime has been committed. Breaking POF’s T&Cs isn’t a crime like. It’s not REALLY identity theft as there’s no attempt to defraud you or anything like that. As far as I’m aware catfishing isn’t a crime and, with the likes of revenge porn being much more damaging and the wheels only starting to move on that, it isn’t high on the priority list to make it one either. At best, from what I can see, you’d be looking at a civil case where it’d be difficult to prove material damages and expensive to find the info required to do so.

On balance, I’d probably let this one go personally given the profile is now down, and just chalk it down to one of those mental things that happened.

Hobosan

Create a fake profile of everyone you know, including yourself (very important, to avoid suspicion) , and then all your friends and acquaintances will be on your side.

Perhaps even start by making another fake profile of yourself first, then slowly add more people over time. That would be more natural.

But be careful. Copycat criminals often end up being brutally murdered by the original mastermind of the plot.

ILoveYourVibes

Its actually becoming fairly common online these days OP.

Report it to POF. I am not sure i know what else you can do.

But make sure all your pics etc are private on social media. If no one or few people have access to them they can't use them.