When are you too old for sexy time

Hoppy Jack

As I am between birds, I have returned to fapland. However I find I am almost down to once every other day. This is depressing as I used to a a twice a day man. Does sexy time (whatever form it takes) decrease as you get older? Are 50+ year olds done with it altogether? I suppose no one wants wrinkley sexy parts !

realdanbreen

Hoppy Jack wrote: »

As I am between birds, I have returned to fapland. However I find I am almost down to once every other day. This is depressing as I used to a a twice a day man. Does sexy time (whatever form it takes) decrease as you get older? Are 50+ year olds done with it altogether? I suppose no one wants wrinkley sexy parts !

Need a bit more Info.

Cina

Not sure about when you're too old, but you're probably not old enough if you call it "sexy time".

D3V!L

When you're married

Woke Hogan

I don’t know about too old but if you’re calling it “sexy time” then you’re probably too young.

20Wheel

You just need a longer charge time, like with an old phone/laptop battery.

Leave the lad on charge for a few days and itll be like the day you discovered ****.

Like when i had to go on a long weekend holiday with the ma and brother, had no privacy.
When i finally got home it nearly went off by itself.

Just thought yous should all know that.

Mr. Incognito

If you want to spice it up try new and exciting places for a fap

- An Old folks home
-The waiting foyer in your local garda station
-At a funeral
- In St Stephen's green or if it's raining the shopping centre
-On a Dublin City bike.

Put the spice back in your love life

Yer Da sells Avon

Hoppy Jack wrote: »

Are 50+ year olds done with it altogether? I suppose no one wants wrinkley sexy parts !

With regard to self-pleasure, I would imagine the grey pubic hairs could be something of a turn-off. You're sitting there, ready to go, lesbians on the laptop and there's Gerry Adams staring up at you.

dxhound2005

Yer Da sells Avon wrote: »

With regard to self-pleasure, I would imagine the grey pubic hairs could be something of a turn-off. You're sitting there, ready to go, lesbians on the laptop and there's Gerry Adams staring up at you.

It is a well known fact that Gerry Adams never had a beard.

Yer Da sells Avon

dxhound2005 wrote: »

It is a well known fact that Gerry Adams never had a beard.

True enough.

Roger Hassenforder

Hoppy Jack wrote: »

As I am between birds, I have returned to fapland. However I find I am almost down to once every other day. This is depressing as I used to a a twice a day man. Does sexy time (whatever form it takes) decrease as you get older? Are 50+ year olds done with it altogether? I suppose no one wants wrinkley sexy parts !

Can your hand not make more of an effort?
Some music, candle, nice lacey glove.
Or had your hand let itself go?

zapper55

When you are dead.

beejee

When you can no longer lift the monthly shopping bags with the erection, it's time to call it a day.

Yer Da sells Avon

beejee wrote: »

When you can no longer lift the monthly shopping bags with the erection, it's time to call it a day.

I'm only 37 and I can't do that. Not since I got banned from Tesco anyway.

banie01

Woke Hogan wrote: »

I don’t know about too old but if you’re calling it “sexy time” then you’re probably too young.

Not much me and this abrasive Bollox agree on
But on this....
WH is 100% correct!

Roger Hassenforder

banie01 wrote: »

Not much me and this abrasive Bollox agree on
But on this....
WH is 100% correct!

Ive a sneaking suspicion he doesnt actually refer to it as "sexy time", rather it was an attempt to inject some humour and ribaldry into proceedings.
Most seem to have grasped this.
Except maybe 3?

EmmetSpiceland

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

Ive a sneaking suspicion he doesnt actually refer to it as "sexy time", rather it was an attempt to inject some humour and ribaldry into proceedings.
Most seem to have grasped this.
Except maybe 3?

But he’d be right about yer man’s “abrasive bollox”, R. I’d say he’s got a very “dry bag”, one that hangs well low. And peppered with those long, course, type of pubes.

You know the ones, they wouldn’t look out of place on the body of a “cellar spider” that hasn’t even seen the light of day.

Frightening thought. Even more frightening if met “eye to eye”, as it were.

ToddyDoody

Mid-life.

Woke Hogan

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

But he’d be right about yer man’s “abrasive bollox”, R. I’d say he’s got a very “dry bag”, one that hangs well low. And peppered with those long, course, type of pubes.

You know the ones, they wouldn’t look out of place on the body of a “caller spider” that hasn’t even seen the light of day.

Frightening thought. Even more frightening if met “eye to eye”, as it were.

You don’t “strike” me as a “man” with much of a “bag” to begin with, dry or “otherwise.” You’ve always “come across” as a “eunuch” to me, “E.”

riffmongous

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ok0JelmMOJA

decky1

HMmmmmmmmmmmmmm sexy time , let's get it on.

Does sex drive diminish with age or is the problem solely with the the mechanical processes that are liable to wear and tear?

Thank goodness Viagra is widely available for the latter problem. I remember well the day when, clearing out my late father's room, I found a half-empty blister pack of the notorious 'blue steel' tucked discreetly away in an inconspicuous old pouch. A proud & cheerful discovery for any son, you can well imagine, to know that the old sire still had a bit of start in him after decades of service.

My heart wasn't the only swollen organ that evening, I regret to report, for my curiousity had the better of me. The ensuing battle with John-Thomas was like Castillo vs Coralles - just when you had him beaten, back he'd come out of nowhere to square up once more.

It's not as fun as it sounds. When the effects wore off, we didn't speak again for days. But it's a great reassurance to know that scientific progress has finally stolen a march on one of Mother Nature's most vindictive cruelties.

Now, if sex drive dimishes with age, that's another matter. I'd rather be put out like a blind collie if that were to happen. What would be the point?

Lirange

Depends doesn't it? Some people were just not sexual from the off. Others sustain their live wire even as they wither into dust. It's all in your head. But not that head. The brain is the primary sex organ. It's where your sex drive originates.

ILoveYourVibes

Hoppy Jack wrote: »

As I am between birds, I have returned to fapland. However I find I am almost down to once every other day. This is depressing as I used to a a twice a day man. Does sexy time (whatever form it takes) decrease as you get older? Are 50+ year olds done with it altogether? I suppose no one wants wrinkley sexy parts !

Nah you're still in your prime ..older men know their way around more.;)

No such thing as too old for sexy sexy time.

A Tyrant Named Miltiades!

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

My heart wasn't the only swollen organ that evening, I regret to report, for my curiousity had the better of me. The ensuing battle with John-Thomas was like Castillo vs Coralles - just when you had him beaten, back he'd come out of nowhere to square up once more.

I need to lie down.

Lirange

I am in my mid 40s. Been married 16 years. We have sex less frequently. But when we do it's more enjoyable than ever. The signs of aging are there. But I married a girl with nice eyes and they never age to me. It's the other aspects of it that we enjoy more too. We have our own little strange foreplay code. It allows us to foreplay in public places whilst surrounding company is none the wiser. And though it only leads to doing the business probably about 10% of the time, the frisson is often stirring about. I don't see any reason why this can't continue on for a long while yet as long as she's keen.

EmmetSpiceland

Lirange wrote: »

I am in my mid 40s. Been married 16 years. We have sex less frequently. But when we do it's more enjoyable than ever. The signs of aging are there. But I married a girl with nice eyes and they never age to me. It's the other aspects of it that we enjoy more too. We have our own little strange foreplay code. It allows us to foreplay in public places whilst surrounding company is none the wiser. And though it only leads to doing the business probably about 10% of the time, the frisson is often stirring about. I don't see any reason why this can't continue on for a long while yet as long as she's keen.

Do nipples “age”? I know that the breasts, themselves, will “sag” at some point.

My partner is a bit younger than me so her breasts are still fairly “pert”, even after breastfeeding the kids.

I’m just curious as to whether I will still see the same warmth, and joy, when “eye to eye” with the areola. I am aware that the tone can “darken” but that doesn’t take anything away from it. No siree.

stateofflux

I would guess staying reasonably fit would help.

MonkieSocks

dxhound2005 wrote: »

It is a well known fact that Gerry Adams never had a beard.

And never never never, associated with anyone with a beard or any hirsute persons of any political party

Redneck Reject

Heh sexy time, never heard that before!

Redneck Reject

Redneck Reject wrote: »

Heh sexy time, never heard that before!

I use the word 'fùck' among a few others. Its not very romantic or ladylike I know but well it is what it is. Oddly enough I would cringe if I heard 'I want to make love to you'

EmmetSpiceland

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Do nipples “age”? I know that the breasts, themselves, will “sag” at some point.

My partner is a bit younger than me so her breasts are still fairly “pert”, even after breastfeeding the kids.

I’m just curious as to whether I will still see the same warmth, and joy, when “eye to eye” with the areola. I am aware that the tone can “darken” but that doesn’t take anything away from it. No siree.

I think the only changes are some possible darkening, as you mention, and some geographic drift -- the nip may migrate downwards below the horizontal midline, and appear downcast, even sullen.

I don't think the areola or the nipple-proper ever becomes wrinkly or shrivelled or anything like that. Our Creator is a beneficient God.

Thelonious Monk

I have never been in a relationship where eventually I wasn't sick of having sex with them and it kind of dwindled away until we went our separate ways. I am now in a newish relationship and it's in the jack hammer stage. I do worry that the same thing will happen as usual.
You just eventually end up not fancying them any more, right? Like a roommate or friend? Although I'd never get an honest answer here!
I just can't see how you can fancy the same person after ages together in each other's pockets.

Leg End Reject

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

I have never been in a relationship where eventually I wasn't sick of having sex with them and it kind of dwindled away until we went our separate ways. I am now in a newish relationship and it's in the jack hammer stage. I do worry that the same thing will happen as usual.
You just eventually end up not fancying them any more, right? Like a roommate or friend? Although I'd never get an honest answer here!
I just can't see how you can fancy the same person after ages together in each other's pockets.

Yeah, it gets very samey after a while to the point of being tedious.

EmmetSpiceland

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

I have never been in a relationship where eventually I wasn't sick of having sex with them and it kind of dwindled away until we went our separate ways. I am now in a newish relationship and it's in the jack hammer stage. I do worry that the same thing will happen as usual.
You just eventually end up not fancying them any more, right? Like a roommate or friend? Although I'd never get an honest answer here!
I just can't see how you can fancy the same person after ages together in each other's pockets.

I, personally, would suggest cutting back on the **** over hardcore, especially extreme hardcore, pornography.

If you’re “engaging” in the act, say, more than, on average, ten times a week try to cut it back to five. At the most.

Within those five times, two of them should be without any “audio-visual” stimulus and your “spank reel” should only feature your, current, partner, no one else should make an appearance, real or imaginary.

It would be remiss of me not to suggest an “easing” up on that vicelike grip you’d employ on your “member”. This, coupled with cutting down on “burping the worm”, should get a bit more feeling back into things and make the sexual act more enjoyable. Something you won’t get “used to” as easily.

Best of luck with your “romantic” endeavours, hope the above helps.

Thelonious Monk

Errrr ok Emmett, thanks for the advice

Rufeo

Hoppy Jack wrote: »

As I am between birds, !

Well you shouldn't need to worry so,.you seem like you have your hands full!

peckerhead

I'm 55 and last time I went for a check-up the nurse told me I'd have to stop masturbating.

"But why?", I protested.

"Because I'm trying to examine you", she said.

Wayne Jarvis

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Thank goodness Viagra is widely available for the latter problem. I remember well the day when, clearing out my late father's room, I found a half-empty blister pack of the notorious 'blue steel' tucked discreetly away in an inconspicuous old pouch. A proud & cheerful discovery for any son, you can well imagine, to know that the old sire still had a bit of start in him after decades of service.

My heart wasn't the only swollen organ that evening, I regret to report, for my curiousity had the better of me. The ensuing battle with John-Thomas was like Castillo vs Coralles - just when you had him beaten, back he'd come out of nowhere to square up once more.

It's not as fun as it sounds. When the effects wore off, we didn't speak again for days. But it's a great reassurance to know that scientific progress has finally stolen a march on one of Mother Nature's most vindictive cruelties.

Redneck Reject

Guy Person wrote: »

Maybe that is where the saying is beat it like it owes you money comes from,.

Raconteuse

When strangers on the internet tell you it is.

Raconteuse

Deleted User wrote: »

I use the word 'fùck' among a few others. Its not very romantic or ladylike I know but well it is what it is. Oddly enough I would cringe if I heard 'I want to make love to you'

Oh god yes. Now if it was 1976 and I was on a yacht in San Tropez drinking Campari it'd sound grand, but nowhere (or when) else.

Redneck Reject

Sorry but still laughing at the term sexy time. I'm easily amused,heh.

Neames

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

If you want to spice it up try new and exciting places for a fap


- In St Stephen's green or if it's raining the shopping centre
-On a Dublin City bike.

Put the spice back in your love life

Rural Ireland left out again.

banie01

decky1 wrote: »

HMmmmmmmmmmmmmm sexy time , let's get it on.

See now you have conflated the unsexy "sexy time"...
With...

The sexiest song ever, and put me in that uniquely horny state of both aroused and disgusted!

Have you found me my very own fetish? :pac:

realdanbreen

beejee wrote: »

When you can no longer lift the monthly shopping bags with the erection, it's time to call it a day.

Shopping bags!
I always find it handy to carry a bale of briquettes when my hands are full with shopping bags.

Hoppy Jack

realdanbreen wrote: »

Shopping bags!
I always find it handy to carry a bale of briquettes when my hands are full with shopping bags.

Ha ha. Joking aside I used to run around the gaff with a roll of toilet paper on my knob to amuse the bird at the time.

EmmetSpiceland

Every healthy, virile, male should be able to pass the “towel test”.

FindersKeepers

If you can still do the helicopter with your hands behind your head your doing well

Hoppy Jack

Tiergarten wrote: »

Most couples stop fancying each other after a few years, it's natural. You're not supposed to keep having sex with only one person indefinitely. People lose their zest and vitality for life when they are monogamous for years.

True. A bit of fresh is always advisable.

Cyclepath

I'm 54 and I can manage it twice in a day so long as it's not with the same woman.

We're hard wired for variety lads. Tommy Tiernan had a great routine where he said if he was a doctor and a man came to him looking for a Viagra prescription, he'd say "slow down there horse, do you have a photograph so we can see what we're working with...?"