Is she unattracted to me now?

Johnnythefox4

So me (male) and this girl have had five dates. Ill try to make this concise

1st date - kissing with tongues and some fooling around after

2nd date - same kissing and sex, sex went well, she said she came

3rd date - same as second date

4th date - no sex as she said shes on her ovulation week and doesn't want to risk it even though I'm wearing a condom. Said she's paranoid about getting pregnant. Says shed'd tell me if she just didn't want to have sex with me Then while we are kissing she says no tongue. I tell her that last time we used tongues and she says no we didn't. Says she only likes a little bit of tongue and doesn't want a big tongue going into her mouth. Now on this date she came to my place which is an hour away and decided to stay for the whole weekend. Previously I went to hers and it was just one night

5th Date- we have sex, she tells me she came. We kiss but don't really use tongues, our mouths are open and its passionate but no tongue. she tells me after she really enjoyed the kissing. This was our last night together before she flew home for a month.

We are texting everyday since she left, bit of sexting now and again

My issue is with the kissing. Why are tongues such a problem now. I mean we used tongues before and she would get really aroused. Is this a sign that she is going off me and doesn't fancy me like before. Like does anyone else thing kissing with no tongues is weird? Once I was told by a previous girl to use less tongue Also is the no sex thing cos of pregnancy worry bull****?

Thanks in advance

Don’t overthink it pal.

You’re doing just fine by the sound of things.

lawred2

What's your preoccupation with tongues?

Leave the French kissing to the teenagers

sullivlo

Your preoccupation with the level of tongue is more weird than not using tongue.

And the no sex during ovulation is extreme paranoia, but it's not an unheard of thing. She didn't want sex. No shame in that.

pwurple

sullivlo wrote: »

And the no sex during ovulation is extreme paranoia, but it's not an unheard of thing. She didn't want sex. No shame in that.

Extreme paranoia, really? I would call that a good awareness of biology and fairly normal (actually expected) for any woman not on oral contraception. No, it is certainly not bull****.


OP, you sound a little pushy, which may be getting a reaction from her that you are picking up.

Do you want a long term relationship? Try for affection and kindness too, even passion gets a little boring if it’s on repeat.

Squall Leonhart

Deleted

Johnnythefox4

pwurple wrote: »

Extreme paranoia, really? I would call that a good awareness of biology and fairly normal (actually expected) for any woman not on oral contraception. No, it is certainly not bull****.


OP, you sound a little pushy, which may be getting a reaction from her that you are picking up.

Do you want a long term relationship? Try for affection and kindness too, even passion gets a little boring if it’s on repeat.

Sorry I shouldn’t have used the word bull**** in my op. No need for it

It sounds to me like she's just getting more comfortable around you, so she's more willing to speak up about what she likes.

Reading between the lines, it also sounds like your response to this was to push her to come up with a 'why'. 'Why' did you do it before, 'why' have you changed your mind, 'why' isn't a condom enough on its own, 'why' is tongue such a problem now.

That's pretty intense for a fourth date. Why do you need a why?

She told you she liked the kissing since you dialled it back on the tongue, she's texting you, sexting you, there's no reason to think she's gone off you. You're at risk of self sabotage - don't overthink it.

skallywag

Johnnythefox4 wrote: »

...she said she came...

Is the norm now that this gets announced per se?

Or did you question her on this topic?

lainey_d_123

sullivlo wrote: »

Your preoccupation with the level of tongue is more weird than not using tongue.

And the no sex during ovulation is extreme paranoia, but it's not an unheard of thing. She didn't want sex. No shame in that.

Extreme paranoia? There's nothing remotely paranoid about wanting to avoid sex during ovulation when you're not on hormonal contraception. Takes one broken condom or slip and you could be pregnant. Who wants to get pregnant with someone they've been seeing casually for a few weeks? I wish more men would read up on biology.

skallywag

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

I wish more men would read up on biology.

:pac:

I think that the person you quoted is female.

lainey_d_123

skallywag wrote: »

:pac:

I think that the person you quoted is female.

Even worse.

riemann

This was a very difficult post to read.

I can just picture you now, leering over her, pumping way too fast, with your abnormally large tongue hanging out, drooling away.

She's a lucky lady.