I Think I Don't Enjoy Sex

LegacyUser

Hi 18 year old female here. This is going to get a little tmi so you've been warned.

I recently lost my virginity at (or should I say after) my debs. I was into the guy, we had done other stuff before but this was my first time having sex. I hated it, and just wanted it to end. I know everyone's first time is suppose to be awkward but tbh this was downright dreadful. I love foreplay, oral, digital, you name it, I could do it all day. We were having a good time fooling around, I was really into it, but when ehh, we tried to do stuff, it was like painful (not hymen stretching painful, that went away pretty fast) but like pressure painful, all of sudden I felt like I needed to pee/poo (I didnt) and it just felt physically uncomfortable, after a while the muscles inside of me were basically pushing him out, my vagina pushed his penis out, nearly as soon as he was in, I had pushed him out (how does that even happen?!!!) Neither of us finished, we barely even get started, we tried a few times.

So I thought maybe my body just wasn't used to something being inside of it so I bought a dildo. It did nothing for me, it was the same uncomfortable feeling all over again, I wanted to stop almost immediately, just take it out and be done. I have tried a few times since, same thing every time. I don't know whats wrong with me. Is this something I have to go to a doctor about, a sex therapist, my vagina doesnt derive pleasure, even if its turned on, trying to put anything...in....is just uncomfortable (things can get it, and even stay in, it just doesn't feel good, try to move things around, it feels even worse) - Ive done hand stuff before, LOVED it, so why is my body hating on sex toys/dudes Do a lot of women feel the same when they are first becoming sexually active?

ILoveYourVibes

Do a lot of women feel the same when they are first becoming sexually active?

Yup or even if you havent had sex for a long time. It takes a long time for things to eh ..stretch a bit and relax.

The uncomfortable feeling will go after a few weeks of sexual intercourse. If you stop having sex though it will come back again. Your vag shrinks.

The whole idea with intercourse for women is to try and stimulate the clitoris from actual penetration through the tissue I find.

Yeah its totally normal for the first while. And any subsequent time you start having sex again like after a week or so of not having it.

Everyone is diff though.

joeguevara

Absolutely nothing to worry about and doing so is catch 22. Some peoples first times are great. Some bad.

Dont worry. Dont focus on making yourself enjoy things. Its all new. Explore what you like. No need for doctors. You will get your rhythm and it does get better. Dont pressure and if the dildo isnt good try something else.not all about penetration.

punisher5112

Look up sex toys and lube..

Lube give all sorts of pleasures and different ones...

Look up Amazon if worried anyone would see and buy that way.

LegacyUser

It may just be first time nerves and exploring by yourself when relaxed may help.

But I would also recommend you to read up on Vaginismus. If what you described keeps occurring a visit to your GP could really help. They can check if it is due to a physical issue or a mental block. Have a read online at the symptoms and treatments.

suicide_circus

ehm i've very been an 18 year old girl but i certainly wouldnt be directing you to the sex shop just yet. most people's first time is pretty forgettable. How "in to" this guy are you?

Dial Hard

Do you have the same issue using tampons?

Corkgirl18

There is a condition called vaginismus that is fairly common in women in their teens and 20's. Its when your vaginal muscles tighten involuntarily when something tries to penetrate it. It might be worth a google to see if it applies to you.

I wouldn't be too worried though. Starting out your experience sounds fairly standard. It'll take a while to figure out what suits you.

Idle Passerby

I wouldn't worry about it too much OP. That sounds like a pretty standard, underwhelming first time to be honest. It takes a while to get used to a new partners body and what works for you with them, and that's even for people who have previous experience. Just take things at your own pace, if something's not working for you don't force it. You'll figure out what you like and don't with practice.

kylith

It is totally normal for your first time, or few times, or even when you're just not really in the mood. Your vagina has never had a penis in it before, it's odd, it feels odd, your body isn't used to it.

The most important thing is to try not to stress, make sure that you are comfortable with your partner, and don't have penetritive sex if you don't want to. You say you enjoy the other stuff, so do that instead!

cannotlogin

I wouldn't worry about it too much. I lost my virginity in similar circumstances and didn't enjoy it either even though I wanted sex.

Sometimes our bodies react strangely when trying new things, maybe nerves, anticipation, lack of comfort, amount of alcohol taken, over thinking, a nervous or inexperienced partner etc.

I don't know many women who enjoy a dildo either, most prefer a vibrator. Give yourself time, take the pressure off yourself and try again when you feel like it. Your experience is far more common than you think.

shesty

First time OP - take it easy on yourself. Don't believe everything you hear/read/see on the internet. Don't worry too much about it, just relax and try to enjoy it - all the other stuff will come in time.