Pointing out poor gym form - a no-no?

IamtheWalrus

I (male) was working out and noticed a lady next to me doing weights. I noticed that the form she had for a particular exercise wasn't, in my untrained opinion, correct. In my opinion, her form could cause back injury.

As I continued my workout, I wondered how it would be taken if I politely and non-mansplainly corrected her, pointing out that it could damage her back. I didn't and nowadays, definitely wouldn't but it got me wondering how it would be taken.

I did think that a major reason not to is that I'm not an expert so maybe the way I do said exercise is actually wrong, and would be giving poor advice.

It's relevant that the person was female, I think. I think I would have been more likely to say it to a male gym-goer but again, I probably would just have left it.

It has happened to me before on 2 separate occasions where a male gym-goer has pointed out something about my form that I'm doing wrong and politely demonstrated how they think it should be done. On both occasions, I took it fine and despite a small hint of embarrassment, I was grateful for the advice as otherwise I would have continued incorrectly.

I'm aware that the advice would be to best stay out of it, and of course I headed such advice. But does erring on the side of caution make the world more suspicious and insular?

Edit (after 2 pages of replies):

My angle in this thread was more about how men engage with women nowadays, as in the fear it might come as condescending.

I read a tweet about a lady saying she firmly turned down an offer from a middle-aged man who offered to put her bag in the overhead compartment of an aeroplane. She did this as protest against misogyny. I can't find the tweet unfortunately. Some people agreed but others said be grateful for kindness.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

non-mansplainly

And that's where I stopped reading...

Thelonious Monk

It depends. When I first started out going to gyms years ago the place was full of full on body builder dudes but they'd often correct my form or give me tips. I thought it was nice of them and they had the bodies to back up what they were talking about. If you were some out of shape gobsh*te I'd probably think otherwise.

jimgoose

OP, just do this:

Beta Ray Bill

I wouldn't ever interrupt someone training unless they asked for my opinion/advice.

Bare in mind, that could be the persons 1st time in the Gym or they are only starting out.
Starting out in a Gym can be quite daunting for someone that's never trained before.

The last thing they need is someone coming up to them going "Here's a list of things you're doing wrong"

Leave them at it, concentrate on your own training.

Woke Hogan

Beta Ray Bill wrote: »

I wouldn't ever interrupt someone training unless they asked for my opinion/advice.

Bare in mind, that could be the persons 1st time in the Gym or they are only starting out.
Starting out in a Gym can be quite daunting for someone that's never trained before.

The last thing they need is someone coming up to them going "Here's a list of things you're doing wrong"

Leave them at it, concentrate on your own training.

Nonsense. If someone is at risk of hurting themselves you should always intervene, even if they themselves would rather risk injury than have their ego dented for a moment by someone correcting their mistakes. Now that this made up term "mansplaining" has taken off, some women have taken that to mean that any man correcting them is committing an act of misogyny.

My (adult) daughter is like that. She's about three stone overweight and constantly complaining about having a "poor body image" but she won't listen to any of my advice regarding portion sizes and eating sweets every evening, accusing me of talking down to her and "mansplaining." It's bollocks.

Ush1

You need to be sure what you're correcting.

I remember when me and my mates were starting out in the gym and were all skinny whippets, we were doing a tricep exercise with the EZ curl bar. Some big, bodybuilder bloke comes over and says don't do that, use this and hands my mate the tricep bar.

It makes it a totally different exercise.

Yamanoto

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

I (male) was working out and noticed a lady next to me

Not Gay

Boom_Bap

There isn't a rule book for any of this. Read the situation and make a judgement call.

Just don't have your hands down your shorts while doing it

jimgoose

Boom_Bap wrote: »

...Just don't have your hands down your shorts while doing it

...but make sure you do this:

Beta Ray Bill

Woke Hogan wrote: »

Nonsense. If someone is at risk of hurting themselves you should always intervene, even if they themselves would rather risk injury than have their ego dented for a moment by someone correcting their mistakes. Now that this made up term "mansplaining" has taken off, some women have taken that to mean that any man correcting them is committing an act of misogyny.

Nah, I have to disagree.
I go to the Gym to concentrate on my own training, if I see a man or woman training incorrectly I'm not gonna say it to them. Obviously if I seen them in distress with a barbell I'd intervene and then maybe offer advice.

I wouldn't walk up to some randomer though and say here's what you're doing wrong.

Gym's are funny oul places, lot of "heads" in them.
If you saw someone running across the road with the red man being displayed at a pelican crossing, would you go over and say to them You're supposed to wait for the green man? It is afterall more dangerous than lifting weights incorrectly.

Course you wouldn't, so why would say something to some person you don't even know in a Gym

Beta Ray Bill

jimgoose wrote: »

...but make sure you do this:

This is key!

Boom_Bap

jimgoose wrote: »

...but make sure you do this:

that goes without saying

Boom_Bap

and this





i go to the gym in suits as well

Triceratops Ballet

Only offer advice in the gym if you're specifically asked, or if the person is clearly looking around for someone to ask for help, especially if you don't know 100% what you're talking about. If the gym employs staff, the staff should be keeping an eye out for people potentially injuring themselves and making suggestions so that they don't put in a claim and ruin the gym for the rest of us

Woke Hogan

Beta Ray Bill wrote: »

If you saw someone running across the road with the red man being displayed at a pelican crossing, would you go over and say to them You're supposed to wait for the green man? It is afterall more dangerous than lifting weights incorrectly.

If a car that might run them over was coming I would say "watch out," yes. So would anyone else. So should everyone, I should think.

All this "I would only offer advice if I was asked" stuff is cowardice and pathetically non-confrontational. If someone is risking injury, and you're capable of preventing it, you have a responsibility to intervene.

Triceratops Ballet

Woke Hogan wrote: »

If a car that might run them over was coming I would say "watch out," yes. So would anyone else. So should everyone, I should think.

All this "I would only offer advice if I was asked" stuff is cowardice and pathetically non-confrontational. If someone is risking injury, and you're capable of preventing it, you have a responsibility to intervene.

I'm responsible for myself in the gym. If I see someone failing or who needs help getting out from under a barbell cos they've failed on a lift I'll help of course, but I'm not there to keep an eye out for other peoples form. That's what they pay staff to do. Additionally you should only really offer advice if you actually know what you're talking about, which the OP has said he doesn't.

Thoie

You don't work there, mind your own business. If you're concerned someone might injure themselves or others, bring it to the attention of someone qualified who works there, and let them decide what to do.

Blitzkrieger

Boom_Bap wrote: »

There isn't a rule book for any of this. Read the situation and make a judgement call.

Just don't have your hands down your shorts while doing it

This is sort of my take too. I'll point out to people I know in the gym when they're doing something wrong, but it's easy to come across as condescending, especially if it's someone you don't know.

A lot of people have pointed out that you should leave the staff point it out to them. A friend of a friend is a qualified personal trainer and apparently they're told that if they see someone with bad form, even if they're likely to injure themselves, to leave them off. They're only to intervene if the person asks for advice or if they're going to injure someone else.

Woke Hogan

Triceratops Ballet wrote: »

I'm responsible for myself in the gym. If I see someone failing or who needs help getting out from under a barbell cos they've failed on a lift I'll help of course, but I'm not there to keep an eye out for other peoples form. That's what they pay staff to do. Additionally you should only really offer advice if you actually know what you're talking about, which the OP has said he doesn't.

You can see things without keeping an eye out for them. I'm not keeping an eye out on other people's children but if I see a kid running out into traffic I will try to stop them.


Evil triumphs when good men do nothing.

Apiarist

Thoie wrote: »

You don't work there, mind your own business. If you're concerned someone might injure themselves or others, bring it to the attention of someone qualified who works there, and let them decide what to do.

Exactly. Tell the gym instructor that you think that the lady may injure herself and let the instructor offer advice.

Besides the possible embarrassment that the OP can get for interfering, any potential advice may lead to the lady in question understanding it incorrectly just because the OP may not have the time or the skill to explain it correctly. How can you be sure that the advice won't make things even worse?

Woke Hogan

I'd love to know how some of the people in this thread cope without having teacher to run to.

Apiarist

Woke Hogan wrote: »

I'd love to know how some of the people in this thread cope without having teacher to run to.

By making decisions for themselves and leaving other adults to make their own decisions?

The example with a kid running across a road is not valid. Kids might not be able to make informed decisions and must be helped if there is threat to their well-being.

IamtheWalrus

My angle in this thread was more about how men engage with women nowadays, as in the fear it might come as condescending.

I read a tweet about a lady saying she firmly turned down an offer from a middle-aged man who offered to put her bag in the overhead compartment of an aeroplane. She did this as protest against misogyny. I can't find the tweet unfortunately. Some people agreed but others said be grateful for kindness.

I'll edit my OP to clarify.

mr chips

I go to a coached gym session three or four times a week - been going to the same one for nearly 8 years. It's mostly regulars but of course there will be new people from time to time. More than once I've had to drop what I was doing and dart over to lift a bar off someone who tried to bench press or back squat more weight than they could handle. Sometimes I also see people getting some of the post-workout stretches wrong - it's clear that they haven't quite grasped what they were shown after their first session and are likely to hurt themselves as a result. I have no problem offering advice/assistance to either males or females in those circumstances, especially with free weights - e.g. someone attempting a back squat and tipping forward, or trying to bench press a weight they're able to lift off the rack but can't manage to push back up and then get stuck with it on their chest or even rolling towards their neck.

Sometimes people get the movement wrong because they've simply forgotten or misunderstood what they've just been told by the coach and he's gone for a moment to work with someone else. Sometimes it happens because the person has simply ignored the instructions they were given! For a myriad of social/cultural reasons, I think there's a higher proportion of women than men who've simply never been in a gym before, so there will be a greater likelihood of uncertainty/lack of confidence in those for whom this is the case. Some women can also find it a bit intimidating to be in a mixed gym, especially if there are a lot of Arnie lookalikes lumbering around the place. Obviously you don't want to exacerbate any sense of discomfort here, but if you're generally able to talk to women without coming across as condescending/arrogant/whatever, hopefully doing so in the gym will be no different.

If you're not sure how your unsolicited advice will be taken you can simply ask "how are you finding that?" or words to that effect, but IMO there's no harm in giving a gentle reminder along the lines of "Sorry, just in case you end up hurting yourself I think you might want to ask the coach to have a look at how you're doing that." Any time I say something like that (to either a male or a female), what invariably happens then is that the person will either say straight away that they're struggling with it, or will ask my advice on what I think they need to change, which I'm happy to give but which I always follow up with a reminder to check with the coach. I think it's generally pretty clear that I'm just trying to be helpful - if the person doesn't want my help, no problem.

mr chips

One other observation, not specific to OP's question but which is sort of related ...

If anything - and this is a pretty broad generalisation - there tends to be a bit more ego with lads than with ladies in the gym. One mistake inexperienced gym-goers often make is they try to lift more than they're able for because they see other people lifting a certain weight and think that's what they'll go for as well. The advice is always to start at a weight that's low enough to be comfortable for you and gradually build up to heavier stuff over days/weeks/months. Women don't usually have a problem adhering to that - if anything, they tend at first to need encouragement to attempt something more challenging. The biggest barrier is often mental rather than physical, and many girls just don't believe they can manage something that they are actually well capable of doing.

Lads jump in at the deep end all the time! There's be always be some guys who see one of the girls - who I happen to know have been doing weight training for several years - doing something like a 60kg clean & press. The lads try to go straight in at that sort of weight and get embarrassed when they can't do it ... EVEN THOUGH A GIRL CAN!! There have even been a few lads who came for a few days or a week and then just didn't come back after something like that happened. Ah well, their loss.

Also - in my mixed gym, fellas seem more likely to take advice from another fella, but maybe not so much from a girl. However, the new-to-the-gym ladies are usually more attentive and more likely to stick with the advice they're given from the outset, progressing more quickly as a result.

Feisar

Tell her to buy Starting Strength and leave it at that.

Can I ask how did you notice her bad form?

anewme

As a woman, mind your own business.

Feisar

anewme wrote: »

As a woman, mind your own business.

Yea but women ain't got a hive mind. If it prevents a serious injury?

Woke Hogan

anewme wrote: »

As a woman, mind your own business.

So if I saw a bucket of cement falling from a building site onto your head I shouldn’t say “duck” because it’s none of my business?

If I saw a man or woman struggling or using such poor form in the gym they would risk an injury, I wouldn’t hesitate for one second to let them know. A bruised ego is nothing compared with a serious spinal injury or sprained muscle.

ILoveYourVibes

If you are an expert.

Bear in mind though men and women have different bodies and women are actually MEANT to do a lot of exercises very differently.

We are hip and quad dominant. We tend to overuse our quads a lot.

bertsmom

Id just leave her alone to get on with her workout. Your not paid or qualified to give advice. And for me the gym is not somewhere I'd want to receive unsolicited advice. Nothing to do with the man/woman thing I just think a lot of people go there to zone out and have some time to themselves

wakka12

Its happened me a few times and I appreciated it tbh. Im a guy and it was always other men who pointed it out

I wouldnt go up to a girl and say something like that though tbh in case they thought I was trying to hit on them or something and made it weird

Canis Lupus

I'm of the opinion ignore it, if you think they're legit going to **** themselves up have a word with staff.

EDIT: I would say I don't mind myself if someone else points out something I'm doing wrong assuming I agree with them For said advice to be accepted that person would need to be lifting heavier than me. Can't be taking advice of some scrawny fella that can't squat a bag of sugar

Airyfairy12

When I started going to the gym I didnt have a clue how to use half the machines and was mostly winging it, I was too shy to ask any of the instructors to show me and they always seemed busy with classes so I didnt want to bother them. One time a man came up to me and told me I was doing something wrong and showed me the correct way, I was appreciative for his help even though I hadn't asked for it, ive been using the machine the correct way ever since and only for him id still be using it arse ways.
Ive also had a woman come over and tell me how to use another machine, again I was thankful.
I personally don't mind at all but everyone is different. If its coming form a genuine place of wanting to help someone then I dont see what the problem is, everyone that goes to the gym is in the same boat and most people that are new to the gym wont know how to do things correctly and are there to learn so I dont see any problem in helping each other out, even if its a random stranger.

I wouldnt take it as condescending at all whether it came from a man or a woman.

Strumms

The only people who should be giving advice in a gym are trainers / instructors.

If I noticed someone doing something which I didn’t think was the right way to do it, be it form or whatever I’m going to shut the fûck up, mind my own business, get on with MY exercises.

If I’m doing something and some one comes up and starts giving their unsolicited input I’m not going to enter into a debate I’ll simply thank them for their input and leave it at that a bit curtly, if it persists I’ll inform them that I have been fortunate enough to have been trained and instructed by some of the best experts in fitness and indeed sports medicine that the country has to offer and should I pass on their number so they can debate with them and inform them what all of us might be doing wrong....

branie2

I'd stay out of it in case I cause offence.

I don't go to the gym anyway

Richard Hillman

Unless there is grave danger then leave her be. When I say grave danger, death or broken bones. If she puts her back out or pulls a muscle, then that's her problem. Don't venture into that minefield.

ILoveYourVibes

Hey OP would you LIKE to be a trainer etc?

TBH the best trainers give you the explanation and the example then let you figure it out with practice.

Trainers who mirco manage a class can be annoying.

Rubberchikken

i would always be genuinely grateful for help from anyone regardless of age/sex.
i wouldnt appreciate being told something by soneone who obviously didnt know what they were talking about though.

Your Face

Don't get involved.

ILoveYourVibes

wakka12 wrote: »

Its happened me a few times and I appreciated it tbh. Im a guy and it was always other men who pointed it out

I wouldnt go up to a girl and say something like that though tbh in case they thought I was trying to hit on them or something and made it weird

Must make mistakes when i want guys to hit on me.

Beta Ray Bill

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

Must make mistakes when i want guys to hit on me.

I'd never hit on a Girl in the gym!
Ya'd end up getting hash tagged in a METOO and that's the end of your life.
#NoThanks

In fact most lads are like this, I train in FlyeFit in Portobello, loads of amazing looking women in there.
None of the Lads go near them

They're either terrified, or they're all Gay.

was told before i'd injure my neck from squatting ...
i wouldn't say it unless they were imminently likely to kill themselves

no problem helping out when asked although i still qualify that with 'ehhh ask a coach though'