Your ideal job vs a job you couldn't do

Even if you love your job, there's probably something quite specific that you'd also love just as much. And we all have jobs we'd hate, hopefully not your current one.

Ideal: travel writer

Couldn't hack it: The person who eliminates fatbergs and wet-wipe reefs from the sewers

Yourself?

whiskeyman

Ideal: Headline writer for tabloids. Pun-tastic goodness every day!

Couldn't hack it: Retail. People are morons! I'd hate dealing with them on a daily basis.

Paddy Cow

Ideal: Helicopter pilot

Couldn't do: Criminal defense attorney. If I knew someone was guilty, I wouldn't be able to defend them. It would end up like Cape Fear.

InTheShadows

Ideal: Porn star (i'm in my 40's and married let me dream)

Couldn't hack: Any office job that's 9-5 at a desk.

The Tetrarch

Ideal: Thoroughbred pedigree consultant
Couldn't: Stand up comedian *

* although if Michael McIntyre does it, anyone can

Harry Palmr

Ideal job - assisting rich milf with her kitchen garden
Worst job - ANYTHING in retail or involving a phone.

TerrorFirmer

Ideal: Computer hardware sales or communications.

Worst: Door to door sales.

DEFTLEFTHAND

Paddy Cow wrote: »

Ideal: Helicopter pilot

Couldn't do: Criminal defense attorney. If I knew someone was guilty, I wouldn't be able to defend them. It would end up like Cape Fear.

You have to convince yourself that everybody is entitled to a fair trial and the best defense possible.

Solicitors and Barristers as Officers of the Court follow that code.

twignme

Ideal: Marine Biologist.

Worst: Post Office counter clerk.

saintsaltynuts

Ideal:Movie Star
Worst:Barwork,Taxi Driver or working on a fisher boat like Deadliest Catch.

Filmer Paradise

Ace job; Field service engineer, fixing handy stuff for lots of money.

Arse job; Anything to do with Catering/Chef style work. The hours & working conditions would be my idea of hell!

Guy:Incognito

Ideal. Professional euromillions winner. Only need to go to work the once then I'd retire.

My ideal job would be a detective who works on serious crime. I'd be a cross between Harry Hole and Jane Tennison. Full of demons and a fondness for a drink after a tough day dealing with sociopaths. Armed with a erm glock my steely exterior would hide a heart of gold. Oh and I would fall in love with my 'partner'.

I don't know what sort of job I'd like the least.
Anything poo and toilet cleaning related I think.

Carry

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Even if you love your job, there's probably something quite specific that you'd also love just as much. And we all have jobs we'd hate, hopefully not your current one.

Ideal: travel writer

Couldn't hack it: The person who eliminates fatbergs and wet-wipe reefs from the sewers

Yourself?

Believe me, being a travel writer is overrated and shrouded in romantic myths.
It's not about travelling the world and writing nice stories about your adventures, you need to do a lot of research beforehand and of course locally, check everything out, note opening times of sights, check restaurants and hotels, write about things that don't really interest you, and all that in an upbeat language. And then there are the updates, the most boring stuff about travel writing, revisiting places if you want to or not and such like.

And travelling costs money. It's not that the publisher pays for everything. Your earnings are very slim.

It's fun for the first years and when you are young but gets tired very quickly.

(I was a travel writer, gave it finally up after 25 years)

Otherwise: I have my dream job now, what I couldn't hack is anything from 9 to 5, and dealing with the general public.

Carry

Carry wrote: »

Believe me, being a travel writer is overrated and shrouded in romantic myths.
It's not about travelling the world and writing nice stories about your adventures, you need to do a lot of research beforehand and of course locally, check everything out, note opening times of sights, check restaurants and hotels, write about things that don't really interest you, and all that in an upbeat language. And then there are the updates, the most boring stuff about travel writing, revisiting places if you want to or not and such like.

And travelling costs money. It's not that the publisher pays for everything. Your earnings are very slim.

It's fun for the first years and when you are young but gets tired very quickly.

(I was a travel writer, gave it finally up after 25 years)

Otherwise: I have my dream job now, what I couldn't hack is anything from 9 to 5, and dealing with the general public.

Yes, that does sound like a bit of a dose. I don't necessarily mean factual writing about sites, trails and cities, but something more along the lines of Paul Theroux. Aesthetic writing. Which is probably even more excruciating, and certainly financially detrimental, but let me dream!

jaxxx

Ideal Job: Gigolo

Couldn't Hack It: Gigolo

LirW

Ideal: tattoo artist. I have an artistic background and education and a whole folder full of hand drawn flashes. Never had the balls to pursue it.

Worst: going back to do field sales. While sales can be grand, this was bad.

suicide_circus

Ideal: Park ranger in some huge nature reserve

Could't hack: office cubicle

Plumbthedepths

The Tetrarch wrote:

* although if Michael McIntyre does it, anyone can

Good to know I'm not the only one that does not find him funny.

Plumbthedepths

Plumbthedepths wrote: »

Good to know I'm not the only one that does not find him funny.

He's almost like a plummy Brendan Grace, but I quite enjoy his comedy.

Stand-up: definitely a "couldn't hack it" job, all the same. I'll gladly handle the fatbergs instead.

skooterblue2

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

He's almost like a plummy Brendan Grace, but I quite enjoy his comedy.

Stand-up: definitely a "couldn't hack it" job, all the same. I'll gladly handle the fatbergs instead.

Aww Please Brendan Grace was funny. After Father Jack Hackett, Father Fintan Stack is more refined version of Father Jack.

"If you don't like it, tough! (uses key to clean out his ear) I had my fun, and that's all that matters."

sportsfan90

Worst job for me is anything where I'd have to deal with drunk people.

Whether it's bar man, security staff, taxi driver, etc I couldn't hack it. Drunk people are only ever fun if you're drunk with them.

Upforthematch

Ideal: weather forecaster, work with figures and be on tv.

Couldn't hack: vet, dentist, surgeon, butcher.

A&E first responder too but I really admire what they do.

0lddog

Deleted User wrote: »

My ideal job would be a detective who works on serious crime. I'd be a cross between Harry Hole and Jane Tennison. Full of demons and a fondness for a drink after a tough day dealing with sociopaths. Armed with a erm glock my steely exterior would hide a heart of gold. Oh and I would fall in love with my 'partner'.......

LOL

Just finished reading 'Manhunt' an account of tracking down a serial killer written by the man who lead the investigation ( Colin Sutton )

Long hours and lots of drink were very much on the agenda

As for falling in love with your partner - you did that long ago and now if you both are ever home at the same time you talk shop

Chances are you will be able to track down a copy
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.
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clue : look in you local public library

UsBus

Ideal job : Flipping property, just a few a year to keep me ticking over..

Can't hack it : office based, same old day in day out, basically my current job

skooterblue2

sportsfan90 wrote: »

Worst job for me is anything where I'd have to deal with drunk people.

Whether it's bar man, security staff, taxi driver, etc I couldn't hack it. Drunk people are only ever fun if you're drunk with them.

In all fairness nobody should have to deal with them.

"Into the drunk tank with ye until you sober up, you excuse for a pile o' ****e!"

fmpisces

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Even if you love your job, there's probably something quite specific that you'd also love just as much. And we all have jobs we'd hate, hopefully not your current one.

Ideal: travel writer

Couldn't hack it: The person who eliminates fatbergs and wet-wipe reefs from the sewers

Yourself?

Ideal: anything to do with forensics but probably a forensics psychologist.

Couldn't do: policewoman.

OneArt

Ideal: Any job where I get do to a bunch of different things (writing, programming, marketing strategy, research) that I can do literally anywhere and actually provides value. All I need is a laptop and communication by phone. Not having to deal with people face-to-face.

Couldn't Hack: The exact same job but being forced to adhere to arbitrary hours and location because some pigheaded, fear-motivated manager values stupid little rules over producing actual results and getting things done. Also anything that involves dealing with the general public.

ziedth

Ideal; would love to work in film or tv. Getting pitched ideas etc, granted I think I'd be cat at it


Worst; couldn't handle working in healthcare or addiction.... seeing first hand people's worst moments. Literally no amount of money in the world could make me work with terminally Ill children. People who do are saints

skooterblue2

ziedth wrote: »

Worst; couldn't handle working in healthcare or addiction.... seeing first hand people's worst moments. Literally no amount of money in the world could make me work with terminally I'll children. People who do are saints

What you dont see is how people working in Palliative care with children deal with it. Sister did it in Australia. They are either very hard cold people or they have very robust coping mechanisms.

ziedth

skooterblue2 wrote: »

What you dont see is how people working in Palliative care with children deal with it. Sister did it in Australia. They are either very hard cold people or they have very robust coping mechanisms.

It's funny you should say. My mother is one of the kindest and caring people you could meet but worked for 30 years as a geriatric nurse so could have had a patient die almost weekly. She is absolutely brutally cold when it comes to death to the point you have to almost give out to her. Like someone could be in the house talking about how a loved one has jaundice & something else and the mother would be "Oh she'll be dead in a month"

skooterblue2

ziedth wrote: »

It's funny you should say. My mother is one of the kindest and caring people you could meet but worked for 30 years as a geriatric nurse so could have had a patient die almost weekly. She is absolutely brutally cold when it comes to death to the point you have to almost give out to her. Like someone could be in the house talking about how a loved one has jaundice & something else and the mother would be "Oh she'll be dead in a month"

Have a sit down and think about that while it surrounds 40 hours a week. It would drive you to drink unless you harden up fast. There is a smell of urea about people who are dying or have a very bad infection. Its when a particular enzyme stop working and the body starts shuts down.

Its not that she has a cold aspect, its that she is in work mode and she is managing beds, no different to an estate agent. "Keep the beds occupied and the wards full, one out, one in". Once again if you were to delve into what was happening to each individual you would go mad.

mvl

Ideal: neuroscientist

Couldn't hack: any job dealing with bad smells.

r93kaey5p2izun

I have no idea what my ideal job would be. Whatever pays the most for the least work. I've come to the realisation that enjoyable work is not as important as cold hard cash - so long as the job is reasonably bearable day to day. I'm currently doing what I always thought was my dream job but actually it's fairly meh. I left it for over a decade to teach, which I preferred, but that doesn't pay enough so I'm back in the "dream job".

What I couldn't hack is anything that involves taking advantage of people or pushing something they don't need on them, so cold calling sales etc. I've done several years in retail and as a care assistant in a nursing home and both were grand. I don't get the horror of dealing with the public.

Deub

Ideal : Independant market trader

Worst : Doctor, nurse, etc. The sight of blood makes me faint.

skooterblue2

Deub wrote: »

Ideal : Independant market trader

That Moore Street do be quare busy at times. Them Trotter are an up and coming firm

Ideal: Bra fitter

Couldn't do: coal mine.

Falthyron

Ideal: Science fiction writer
Worst: Anything to do with sales

Purple Mountain

Ideal: Professional WAG to some Champions League player..well you only have to wait 2 years for divorce now.

No way: A P.E. teacher. I'm too unfit.

skooterblue2

Deleted User wrote: »

Ideal: Bra fitter

Gotta love them puppies!!

Tell me how

Ideal: Clinical Psychologist. Could work in wide variety of fields with such a skillset.

Couldn't: Door to door commission dependant role such as getting people to sign up to Vodafone or whatever. Weather, always having to be in great form. 90% of time door doesn't even open. 90% of doors that open aren't interested

skooterblue2

Tell me how wrote: »

Ideal: Clinical Psychologist. Could work in wide variety of fields with such a skillset.

Couldn't: Door to door commission dependant role such as getting people to sign up to Vodafone or whatever. Weather, always having to be in great form. 90% of time door doesn't even open. 90% of doors that open aren't interested

I looked into and its not as attractive as you think a 20 hour week is. The ones I know and have learned to read, have picked up "walking wounds" fro what they have seen and heard and analysing their own backgrounds. Plus you could be studying 10+ before you get to see any "fat".

Paddy Cow

Tell me how wrote: »

Couldn't: Door to door commission dependant role such as getting people to sign up to Vodafone or whatever. Weather, always having to be in great form. 90% of time door doesn't even open. 90% of doors that open aren't interested

I did that for about a week in Australia and was terrible at it. I had to give it up because I was making no money. My friend was great at it though. Real gift of the gab.