Worried about being lonely on holiday with my son

chic chick

Looking for advice or suggestions

Had booked a holiday with my son & boyfriend -going for 2 weeks. My parents were to join us for one of those weeks. Things have ended with my boyfriend & I have just found out my dad is now not well enough to travel so it will be just myself & my son who is 10 for 2 weeks.

My dads health is the most important thing however I’m not sure I can do a two week holiday on my own without adult company and I’m so afraid I’ll be lonely and then the holiday won’t be a holiday.

My son would be devastated if we don’t go. Im thinking it’s a case of me just sucking it up and making the best of the situation or are there suggestions anyone has for getting through the 2 weeks without feeling lonely.
It’s the lonliness that scares me

Appreciate any advice. Hope I have posted in the right forum also

dmm82

chic chick wrote: »

Looking for advice or suggestions

Had booked a holiday with my son & boyfriend -going for 2 weeks. My parents were to join us for one of those weeks. Things have ended with my boyfriend & I have just found out my dad is now not well enough to travel so it will be just myself & my son who is 10 for 2 weeks.

My dads health is the most important thing however I’m not sure I can do a two week holiday on my own without adult company and I’m so afraid I’ll be lonely and then the holiday won’t be a holiday.

My son would be devastated if we don’t go. Im thinking it’s a case of me just sucking it up and making the best of the situation or are there suggestions anyone has for getting through the 2 weeks without feeling lonely.
It’s the lonliness that scares me

Appreciate any advice. Hope I have posted in the right forum also

Is there another family member or friend that could go for even some of the time?

zapper55

As someone that's travelled a lot by myself, mindset is more than half the battle.

Planning excursions etc so there's a nice mix of time to chill and also time with other people is a good idea. Download some of your favourite shows (or download Netflix using the free trial for a month, but dont forgot to cancel) and then you'll have things to watch in the evening.

Enjoy it if you can. It'll be lovely to get away.

chic chick

Thanks so much to you both. Gonna take all advice on board.

Will see if a friend come out for a few days and the excursions are a great idea

I have Netflix so will sort it for the tablet,

Thanks so much my mind went into panic mode - feel so much better about it now.

Tell me how

Let your son take part in planning the holiday. Say ye each take care of alternate days.
You might decide beach, lounging, shopping etc for one day. He might decide water park, tennis etc for next. Or one of ye plans morning, the other the afternoon. You could give him options but let him pick if you were afraid he'd pick something v expensive all the time or whatever.

Treat every day like a separate adventure.

Also, if he's in to reading, let him pick 'holiday reads' in bookshop before going like an adult would. Might help occupy him for a period on the holiday while you too relax.

Renting bikes is a cheap way to spend a day exploring. At ten, he should be able for up to 20k across the day if it's reasonable terrain and environment.

Let him but a gift and postcard for Grandad wishing him well (that's a morning right there)

Day will come when you look back and wish you were able spend so much time with him I expect. Take loads of pictures. Enjoy.

(Deal with arguments/strops by discussing briefly and putting them behind ye)
All of the above from someone with no children so...... :pac:

sullivlo

Does the place you're going have a kids club? If so, there could be other similarly minded adults who might provide some company. I don't mean you spend the whole holiday with them, but get a coffee or whatever. Similarly, he wouldn't have to go every day!

Is it a package holiday? If so, the reps meeting would be a good place to start and to suss out any other adults who might be an option.

If it's organised by yourself, then there are some great ideas on thread.

My friend is currently away by herself with her 9 year old.

Tell me how

Meeting like minded parents via a kids club is a good idea.

Another thing came to mind, if your son had any interest at all, maybe you could give him an old digital camera. He could be in charge of pictures for the holiday and this might encourage home to do different things and sight see more.
He could create a film clip of pictures when he gets home and it might even kickstart a hobby.

This might allow ye to go to different places which would maybe be if particular interest to you.

santana75

chic chick wrote: »

It’s the lonliness that scares me

Op this is what you need to face then. Anything that you fear will control you and you'll never truly be free in life until you have faced those fears. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family, was abandoned by parents and carried the fear of being alone and abandoned into adulthood. I would dodge and duck this fear with everything I had, avoiding the big one: Going on holiday alone. But in the end life conspired to give me what I needed and it really was the making of me. I was forced to face that fear and for a few brief moments, it was terrifying. But then that passed and everything was amazing. The fear of being lonely was gone, and it stayed gone ever since. Which is massively liberating.
You are the adult here and you need to be an example for your son because if you carry the fear of being alone then he will take that baton from you and bring it into his own future. You have to face this Op. For your sake but also for the sake of your children. Don't try to distract yourself and don't try to rope anyone else into going with you. Face it. Trust me you'll be fine, it will be the greatest thing you'll ever do and when you come back you'll see the world in totally different light. You'll be fearless and take more risks which will open up avenues that you were never ever aware of.

isohon

Can you make time to good, lengthy conversations with friends, or family? Like screentime eachother for an hour or more each evening. Maybe whatsapp call eachother at night when your son is asleep, you could get earphones with a microphone that would let you stay mobile while you on the phone, so you could be basically on that all night. Could be a good opportunity to reconnect with people you haven't had a chance to really talk talk with in a while.

I agree with the others who have said that mindset is important too. I have to do an awful lot of travel for work, and I do know the times I am less dismal heading out, I always manage to find things to do, things to see.

Also don't give up on your ten year old surprising you! Even chitlins can be terribly entertaining and insightful when you let them talk to you fully.

isohon

Tell me how wrote: »

^^^^

Things have ended with BF I'm pretty sure as opposed to him just not making the holiday.....

:eek:

Apologies, I misread that totally. Will edit the comment. Thanks for alerting me.

chic chick

Really appreciate everyone taking the time to reply, some fantastic ideas. Thanks so much I feel so much better about it already, Bring it on!

Purple Mountain

I think if you fill your days with plenty of activities with him and then stick on Netflix in the evening, you won't have time to be lonely because you'll just fall into bed.
Use this holiday as an opportunity for quality one to one time with him.
He'll remember the memories.

rpmcs

Hi, I am writing this from my holiday.
Firstly as you have not stated that I can see what kind of holiday you have booked, (and apologies if I over looked)
Firstly, great idea to have Netflix or games to fulfill evenings/ mornings.
If he is an early riser...and you know your son, so remember its holidays.
Dont try do too much. Let him and you chill. You will meet people naturally.

I would regard myself as quite introverted and I have been in conversations and activities with people that I never would have thought I would have talked to.( remember most are in same /similar boar to you.)
My son has beamed in days we walked, took bikes, nature walks/swimming.
Just relax. As people have said if you fear or force things... if wont be fun.
As long as your relaxed it amazing how much fun you will have.
There is days that we have only spoke to each other and it has been great.
So please just let it naturally happen.
Book a few activities if possible to break from mundane and you will be fine.
And finally ..have faith in yourself..

That's my thoughts and hopefully it all goes well.

baby and crumble

I’m going to put my 2c in here and echo others who have recommended you actually try to enjoy the company of your son. I remember holidays with my parents (each separately and together as a family) from younger than 10 with incredibly fond memories. Like someone else said, one of the camping holidays I took with my Dad kickstarted a lifelong love of photography.

Not to bum anyone out but my Mum passed away when I was just 25. I wish more than anything we had more memories together, especially of holidays where we could both be ourselves. At 10, your son is starting moving from being a child to a teenager. Kids that age can be incredibly astute and funny and smart. Having your sole attention and being involved in planning some activities and maybe being in charge of photos and videos of the holiday would help build confidence and skills. Plus you get to learn who your son is becoming outside of the usual routines of work and school etc.

I know having zero adult company after he’s gone to bed etc is a bit daunting but maybe you just view this as a challenge to learn to meditate in the evenings, or get through a few books during downtime or whatever it is. It’s only 2 weeks, it won’t kill you even if you are lonely. It’s not reflective of your normal life.

Best of luck OP.

tscul32

10 is a great age to go away with. Plan stuff together so you'll both enjoy it. If he has a games thing to bring (nintendo...) get him to show you how to play, enjoy his stuff with him and let him enjoy your stuff with you. My boys are 7, 11 and 13 and I love time alone with them. Together is a different story...

Purple Mountain

If he's 10,he'll probably go to bed the same time as you.
He won't be going to bed at sunset anyhow so you'll actually have very little alone time.
A deck of cards gives hours of fun in an evening and I am wholly recommended the card deck 'Uno', try Smyths or Tesco for it.
My guy is older than yours and we could pass an hour in stitches laughing playing that.

Roen

You could always sit him down and explain that you might feel lonely in just his company for two weeks.

Could be a handy way out of the situation.

Tell me how

Roen wrote: »

You could always sit him down and explain that you might feel lonely in just his company for two weeks.

Could be a handy way out of the situation.

Gees, I'm not so sure. He might feel to blame for any time he thinks you're quiet.

chic chick

chic chick wrote: »

Looking for advice or suggestions

Had booked a holiday with my son & boyfriend -going for 2 weeks. My parents were to join us for one of those weeks. Things have ended with my boyfriend & I have just found out my dad is now not well enough to travel so it will be just myself & my son who is 10 for 2 weeks.

My dads health is the most important thing however I’m not sure I can do a two week holiday on my own without adult company and I’m so afraid I’ll be lonely and then the holiday won’t be a holiday.

My son would be devastated if we don’t go. Im thinking it’s a case of me just sucking it up and making the best of the situation or are there suggestions anyone has for getting through the 2 weeks without feeling lonely.
It’s the lonliness that scares me

Appreciate any advice. Hope I have posted in the right forum also

God id jump at the chance to spend time alone without adult company with any of my son's.
Kids just have the loveliest outlook.
Adults are a holes 😂
All jokin aside enjoy the uninterrupted bonding with your son..we don't know where we'll be tomor take today and all it brings as a blessing.
Get some books. Explore together. Eat together.
Ps. You'll never be lonely when you have a son. That's impossible.

JustAThought

Sorry to hear about your bf and Dad.

Definately do - sure you can plan things during the day and get out and about so if the evenings are quiet you will at least be physically tired in the evenings!

+1 for the kidsclubs,books and netflix - I'd say the evenings could be a little quieter as most couples wil be dining out or going out for drinks and this is much harder to do alone or with a child . Depending on your type of holiday and where you are going I 'd say your child could get a great kick out of eating out in the evening and seeing the way the athmosphere and dynamic changes at night - it could be great if you could manage to do this with him if the location allowes rather than having a big main meal at lunchtime. You might get lucky and find someone else single or solo to buddy up with whose child your child likes - they will be in the same boat!

Regardless, you have us all to keep you company if you get the blues - don't be a stranger! Between books, podcasts, documentaries online and maybe throw in a few day or night tours from a local agent and you will be ok!There is usually a travel place selling trips or excursions when you are on hols - will pace and break the time nicely and give you something to anticipate every few evenings!

Have a lovely holiday! Im sure your dad wil look forward to getting a few postcards in the post and hearing about your adventires when you get back - shoukd cheer him up a bit to know you will have enjoyed yourself despite the advance chaos and dissappointments.


+ Do you kindle?Can you borrow one?

And if you know you will be indoors at night - in an appartment or hotel wih balcony - plan to make it nice for yourself - bring a warm wrap or cardigan so you can sit ourdoors if by the sea and maybe pack a mosquito lemon candle or tea lights and get in some local delicasies or bottle of simething if appropriate with child and local figs or fancy fruits or breads and cheese and save them for a fancy evening treat - it will give you a nice flavour of the place and be something to look forward to doing and testing in the eveni g and not as possibly expensive as 2 meals out eery night.

Best of luck & have a lovely holiday.

ILoveYourVibes

chic chick wrote: »

Looking for advice or suggestions

Had booked a holiday with my son & boyfriend -going for 2 weeks. My parents were to join us for one of those weeks. Things have ended with my boyfriend & I have just found out my dad is now not well enough to travel so it will be just myself & my son who is 10 for 2 weeks.

My dads health is the most important thing however I’m not sure I can do a two week holiday on my own without adult company and I’m so afraid I’ll be lonely and then the holiday won’t be a holiday.

My son would be devastated if we don’t go. Im thinking it’s a case of me just sucking it up and making the best of the situation or are there suggestions anyone has for getting through the 2 weeks without feeling lonely.
It’s the lonliness that scares me

Appreciate any advice. Hope I have posted in the right forum also

I really understand how you feel right I kind of feel the same even though i have no kids..its just somehow the company around you is unrelatable in someway..it makes the world feel smaller but not in a cosey way..

I am really sorry about your Dad I hope he gets better.

The break up before a holiday sucks.

Can you find another adult?

Or maybe come up with one or two thinks on the itinerary JUST for you. Like a bit of shopping in some stores there. Or a really nice restaurant.

Would that be possible?

waxmelts2000

Having brought my nephew on holidays with me to the sun twice, he was 9 and 10. We had the best time. He had a ball , met a few buddies at the pool and played with them, I was able to read a book and just chill. I did not bring him to the pubs at night but had a glass or two of wine while we had our meals!


I was away on my first solo holiday a few weeks ago and was slightly nervous but I got on fine. I had my iPad, I had audible on my phone also and listened to 2 books while I sunbathed, I went out for dinner alone and just relaxed. Your son is a great age to be with so I hope you enjoy your time together making memories.

Sorry to hear about the break up and I hope your Dad feels better soon.