If you could talk to your pet, Cat Dog etc

Wtf ?

What would you ask them ?

Odyssey 2005

Wtf ?

Lady Haywire

Do human farts small as bad to cats as cat farts smell to humans.

Wtf ?

Odyssey 2005 wrote: »

Wtf ?

It is AH !

Upforthematch

Ultimate Dog Tease

Best talking dog ever!

Charlie19

Stop rolling around in Fox poop.


Its not cool.

Funkfield

Catdog was a decent show

the_syco

Perhaps the question should not be if you talk to your pet, but if you understand its response :P

Odyssey 2005

OP go to bed,your drunk.

Faugheen

When my just stands at attention and completely stares at me, and I've gone through all the options to ask (are you hungry, do you want to go out etc etc), I'd ask her 'what the f*ck do you want?'

Duckworth_Luas

Funkfield wrote: »

Catdog was a decent show

Was it about a dog superhero with the powers of a cat?

Simi

Why?
As in why do you keep ****ting on the floor?
Why do you hate that black and white cat so much?
Why do you keep screaming for food when you know it's coming literally seconds later?!

prinzeugen

What do you want.

And I would love cat to give a reply like this!!

https://youtu.be/byW49j2YSjE

You could talk to an animal that talks back, like a parrot or a psychiatrist.

kowloon

Now that the days are brighter earlier I'd ask my rooster if it was at all possible for him to shut the fcuk up.

Sam Quentin

I love you, but I wish you could take yourself for a walk :-)

wexandproud

wouldn't matter a dam if i could talk to him , the clown just ignores me

freshpopcorn

Stop letting the local Tom's hump you!

mad muffin

If I could talk to the animals, just imagine it
Chattin' with a chimp in chimpanzee
Imagine talking to a tiger, chatting with a cheetah
What a neat achievement it would be
If we could talk to the animals, learn all their languages
I could take an animal degree
I'd study elephant and eagle, buffalo and beagle
Alligator, guinea pig, and flea
I would converse in polar bear and python
And I would curse in fluent kangaroo
If people ask me, "Can you speak rhinoceros?"
I'd say, "Of course, can't you?"
If I conferred with our furry friends, man to animal
Think of the amazing repartee
If I could walk with the animals, talk with the animals
Grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals
And they could talk to me
If I consulted with quadrupeds
Think what fun we'd have asking over crocodiles for tea
Or maybe lunch with two or three lions, walruses and sea lions
What a lovely place the world would be
If I spoke slang to orangutans
The advantages why any fool on earth could plainly see
Discussing Eastern art and dramas with intellectual llamas
That's a big step forward you'll agree
I'd learn to speak in antelope and turtle
And my Pekingese would be extremely good
If I were asked to sing in hippopotamus
I'd say, "Why not a [unverified] and I would"
If I could parlay with pachyderms
It's a fairy tale worthy of Hans Anderson and Grimm
A man who walks with the animals and talks with the animals
Grunts and squeaks and squawks with the animals
And they could talk to him
Let me hear 'em talk
I'd study every creature's language
So I could speak to all of them on site
If friends said, "Can he talk in crab or maybe pelican?"
You'd say, "I canny can't and you'd be right"
And if you just stop and think of it ain't no doubt of it
I'm gonna win a place in history
If I could walk with the animals talk with the animals
Grunt, squeak, squawk with the animals
And they could squeak and squawk and speak and talk to me

BrokenArrows

"what the **** do you want cat?"

He's always looking at me and meowing. He's been fed, played with, let outside.

blackbox

Why did you scratch me?

D3V!L

who's a good boy , whooo's a good boy ?


Also, stop licking me. It's not cool.

razorblunt

Please don't panic when we leave, we'll always come back, we need to buy food for you and we have to work to pay for that.

If we trusted you to not wee in a room you'd have the whole house to yourself.

Please stop eating things you find on the ground during works, you have a very sensitive stomach and it hurts you.

We love you and wish you came into our lives sooner and that you could stay longer (but let's not worry about the last part).

antodeco

Why do you bark to get out the back, and then bark to get back in 10 seconds later?

Who's a good boy

Tell me how

I'd ask why do they let the cat away with all the sh*te she goes on with.

Current dog would probably say that when he moved in, the cat told him on day one that she was boss and could get him kicked out if she wanted.
The last dog would have said that he had more to be doing than spending time worrying about what that little waste of fur and food was going on about.

CFlat

Would you ever clean your feet on the mat before you walk into the house, ya dirty fooker😂

Rubberlegs

You are clever enough to open the door so why can't you shut it behind you, FFS?
Please don't lick me, you were just licking your arse.

Trigger Happy

I wish I had a pet.

Bob Harris

I talk to my dogs every day OP. I don't get the question.

endacl

What’s it like to be a zombie dog?

Comhrá

"One day I'm going to tell you who's the best dog."

sbsquarepants

Are your balls really that delicious that you have to lick them 10 times a day?

Badly Drunk Boy

Deleted User wrote: »

You could talk to an animal that talks back, like a parrot or a psychiatrist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLrnkK2YEcE

fryup

do you reckon we'll be able to communicate with animals in the future?? some kind of head-set invention that both animal and human wears to read & transmit thoughts

Tell me how

fryup wrote: »

do you reckon we'll be able to communicate with animals in the future?? some kind of head-set invention that both animal and human wears to read & transmit thoughts

Not really, I'm sure someone will try to market something like it but really it will be programmed to recognize indicators and to communicate that in some form.
Could be done now with a camera monitoring the ears, mouth and head angle and a microphone.

Like playing Fifa 98. You know, no matter the shot, one of 4 phrases is going to be used.

I wrote the above, and then thought, i bet someone is at that already...

$230 for those with too much money.

Wtf ?

Odyssey 2005 wrote: »

OP go to bed,your drunk.

People are responding, And No, I am not drunk but you sound pissed off over something else

Wtf ?

antodeco wrote: »

Why do you bark to get out the back, and then bark to get back in 10 seconds later?

know that one lol !

Deebles McBeebles

When you do that tilted head thing, do you understand the gist of what I'm saying or just the odd word?

Are you happy with your new back garden?

Do you miss your big sister and all those foster dogs from over the years?

Wtf ?

Bob Harris wrote: »

I talk to my dogs every day OP. I don't get the question.

Ahh, But do the reply is the Q

the_pen_turner

You love paying with the ball, you love when I throw it, you love chasing it and bringing it back. You go mad if I am too busy to throw it straight away, you bark and nudge me to get me to throw it.
Then when I go to pick up the ball, Why wont you give it to me. FFS you just spent the last minute telling be to throw the bloody thing

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

When the pretty little lady cat from next door shows up outside and you go nuzzle her for a moment, then start attacking her, run her off and then get upset and spend the rest of the day pining out the window for her and screaming miaows at me like it's all my fcuking fault, what exactly is your desired outcome? Yes I know she was there and now she's gone, she's gone because you tried to kill her.

the_pen_turner

the_pen_turner wrote: »

You love paying with the ball, you love when I throw it, you love chasing it and bringing it back. You go mad if I am too busy to throw it straight away, you bark and nudge me to get me to throw it.
Then when I go to pick up the ball, Why wont you give it to me. FFS you just spent the last minute telling be to throw the bloody thing

No take ball. Only throw ball. Your problem how.

Dear little fuzzball, save your dramatics for when I'm not tired or about to rush out the door so that I can really appreciate them and give you the fussing you so clearly require. Do not punish me by being sick on the bed. Again.

SusieBlue

Why do you cry to be lifted off the couch, and then cry to get back up? You know you are too small to climb by yourself, so why do you insist on getting up & down every 5 minutes? Why can't you just pick where you want to bloody relax, and stick to it? Hmmm?

On a similar note, why do you wine and scratch to come into my bedroom, only to get bored when you realise nothing fun is happening (aka I'm sleeping) & then bark till I let you back out?

He's the bouldest little fecker ever. He's lucky he's cute.

Sardonicat

Do you know how much I love you?

DEFTLEFTHAND

All cats have this question for their owners.

'What part of meow don't you understand?'

Mr. CooL ICE

Come home, wherever you are. It's been almost 4 months

Mark Rippetoe

Mark Rippetoe wrote: »

Come home, wherever you are. It's been almost 4 months

Ah no

So sorry about that.

Wtf ?

Why do you smell like ****e when you get wet ?

Your Face

Wtf ? wrote: »

Why do you smell like ****e when you get wet ?

Bumping your own thread?

Noodles81

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Are your balls really that delicious that you have to lick them 10 times a day?

2 days in and no likes?

Fantastic post Mr Squarepants and a very good question indeed.