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What's the etiquette here??

  • 06-04-2019 1:49pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭ JohnnyFlash


    I had to open my business today for a few hours, and asked one of the lads to come in and give me a hand. I was out last night watching the Liverpool game, and I've a stage 6 hangover as a result. :(



    Anways, it got to about half 10 and I felt my 'sheriff's badge' starting to twitch. Headed into the jacks and dropped a serious anchor into Brown Water Bay. I was sitting there afterwards on my phone when what do I hear but the jacks door opening, and someone heading into the stall beside mine. Down go the trousers, a slight groan, a string of watery farts, and then a noise that sounded like a box of old boots being thrown out of an attic. A smaller fart to finish up, and a deep exhalation of breath. :eek:



    I was shocked, and very angry. Am I overreacting, or should the fúcker have waited until I had finished using the boombox before he decided to go and pinch one out? He's an Eastern European, so don't know if they have different cultural norms. I didn't say a word to him for the rest of the morning, and am in a shocker of a mood since. :mad:
    Tagged:


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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 11,658 ✭✭✭✭ Purple Mountain


    TMI

    To thine own self be true



  • Registered Users Posts: 90 ✭✭ jessiblah


    Your description of everything makes it a bit hard to follow but what I'm getting is... you're annoyed your employee used the bathroom at the same time as you? And you didn't speak to him for the rest of the morning because of it? :confused:

    Surely you're trolling right now?


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,377 ✭✭✭ lainey_d_123


    Thanks for the laugh, OP. Needed it today.

    So someone obviously had the sh1ts and you think they.....should have held it in or sh1t themselves because you were in the toilets first

    ....?


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,423 ✭✭✭ Berties_Horse


    Shocking that fellow humans could relieve themselves. Even if they didn't have three aliases. Shocking.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,737 ✭✭✭ Yer Da sells Avon


    He's an Eastern European, so don't know if they have different cultural norms. I didn't say a word to him for the rest of the morning, and am in a shocker of a mood since. :mad:

    Where are you from yourself? Where I'm from (Ireland), giving a vivid description of a person's bowel movement would not be considered culturally normal.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭ JohnnyFlash


    Thanks for the laugh, OP. Needed it today.

    So someone obviously had the sh1ts and you think they.....should have held it in or sh1t themselves because you were in the toilets first

    ....?

    Obviously I don’t want them to shîte themselves. However waiting a minute or two for me to finish up is surely less awkward than popping into the cubicle beside me and unloading a few pints of toxic arse gravy. I heard everything and I find the whole encounter awkward is all. It crossed my mind to fire him to be honest.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 262 ✭✭ TomasMacR


    Was he on the piss the night before as well? As in could he have been on a bad way himself and might’ve been desperate? If not, I think it’s poor form, particularly if you know the person. Some people just don’t give a f*ck though.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,114 ✭✭✭ PhilOssophy


    Don't care


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,402 ✭✭✭✭ Danzy


    Tell him to keep it watery, you do not want to be paying him to spend ten minutes on the toilet.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭ JohnnyFlash


    TomasMacR wrote: »
    Fire him for taking a sh*t? Have you left out some details, like he reached into the bowl pulled his log out and used it like a jumbo crayon to write on the jacks wall something along the lines of ‘my boss JohnnyFlash is a c*nt’? Because if not, pull your head out of your own recently excavated hole.

    I’m not going to fire him - it just crossed my mind for a second. He’s a good worker and doesn’t drink as much as the other Eastern European’s I employ. I just think what he did was vile and unnecessary, and I can’t forget what I heard and smelled. He should have waited if he could at all. Might have a chat with him on Monday about it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,375 ✭✭✭ EmmetSpiceland


    The toilet etiquette of some people is appalling. I’ve some shower of animals in my place.

    One lad will actually wait outside the stalls for one to free up. He’s right there as soon as you open the door. Why he won’t just use the handicapped toilet like a normal person is beyond me.

    I guess you’d have to take into account the nature of his evacuation. Maybe he waited as long as he could. I was once in a similar boat after getting through too many bowls of All-Bran before my first day in a new job. I stuck it out though until I could get some time to myself. Wasn’t easy, lots of cramping and loud gurgling.

    If it’s case that it was an emergency, you’d have to give him a pass, if not then an informal verbal warning might be required.

    He/him/his

    “When you're used to privilege, equality feels like oppression”.

    #bekind



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,420 ✭✭✭ MrFresh


    Obviously I don’t want them to shîte themselves. However waiting a minute or two for me to finish up is surely less awkward than popping into the cubicle beside me and unloading a few pints of toxic arse gravy. I heard everything and I find the whole encounter awkward is all. It crossed my mind to fire him to be honest.


    First of all, how was he supposed to know how long you would be? Second, if you're just sitting there on the phone then you were finished. Have some decency and feck off out of the jacks when you are finished and don't use it as a library.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,769 ✭✭✭ Sir Osis of Liver.


    I suspect he wants to rub arses with you.
    Them foreign lads are strange.


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,658 ✭✭✭✭ Purple Mountain


    Fire him

    To thine own self be true



  • Registered Users Posts: 23,862 ✭✭✭✭ Mrs OBumble


    OP why do you think they build two cubicles in there, if only one is expected to be in use at a time?

    'Cos like you're lads, and anything you do in a cubicle is gonna smell.

    I almost wish you did fire him, just for the LOLz it would like the lads in Workplace Relations. (No, I'm not suggesting that you do - just pointing out how silly you'd look when you had to explain it to them.)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,070 ✭✭✭ Franz Von Peppercorn


    I’m eating my breakfast, Flash


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,568 ✭✭✭ K.Flyer


    It's not like he came into your cubicle and and he asked you to shift over a bit on the jacks so he could let rip in beside your own arse ffs.
    Who do you think you are, Kim Jong Un? expecting everyone to hold off using a free cubicle while you sh!t in peace. Priceless :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 27,295 ✭✭✭✭ _Kaiser_


    The funniest thing about this thread is that people are taking the OP seriously. Have ye never "met" him before here?

    Well played OP.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,556 ✭✭✭ Roger Hassenforder


    Where you're going wrong OP is to not have an acoustically insulated trap reserved for yourself.
    Put a sign on it 'Reserved for Senior Management' or something, Access via swipe card or pin.

    Have a newspaper rack and maybe a Nespresso machine for lengthy stays. A nice throw on the cistern, deep pile rug.Stock only Hanebisho rolls,
    give the peons Aldi paper.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 8,375 ✭✭✭ EmmetSpiceland


    K.Flyer wrote: »
    It's not like he came into your cubicle and and he asked you to shift over a bit on the jacks so he could let rip in beside your own arse ffs.
    Who do you think you are, Kim Jong Un? expecting everyone to hold off using a free cubicle while you sh!t in peace. Priceless :D

    He should have waited. There’s two of you there and one of goes into the toilet, you know there’s only one other stall.

    Of course, you can start in once you hear the flush but you still shouldn't unleash that level of brown thunder until you hear the hand dryer blast or the main door close.

    He/him/his

    “When you're used to privilege, equality feels like oppression”.

    #bekind



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,556 ✭✭✭ Roger Hassenforder


    OP why do you think they build two cubicles in there, if only one is expected to be in use at a time?

    'Cos like you're lads, and anything you do in a cubicle is gonna smell.

    I almost wish you did fire him, just for the LOLz it would like the lads in Workplace Relations. (No, I'm not suggesting that you do - just pointing out how silly you'd look when you had to explain it to them.)

    There was a rule in the civil service up until very recently, all grades below Executive officer would have to wait until higher grades (Principal Officers, Dept Secretarys etc.) had completed their business in a bathroom and left until they could enter, in case they overheard anything.


  • Registered Users Posts: 24,450 ✭✭✭✭ Alf Veedersane


    The only real issue would be if there were 3 cubicles and he picked the empty middle one rather than leave a buffer.

    People who do that are monsters.


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭ JohnnyFlash


    Where you're going wrong OP is to not have an acoustically insulated trap reserved for yourself.
    Put a sign on it 'Reserved for Senior Management' or something, Access via swipe card or pin.

    Have a newspaper rack and maybe a Nespresso machine for lengthy stays. A nice throw on the cistern, deep pile rug.Stock only Hanebisho rolls,
    give the peons Aldi paper.

    I like this idea.

    However I’ve decided I’m just going to block off one of the cubicles so there’s only one available.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,556 ✭✭✭ Roger Hassenforder


    The only real issue woukd be if there were 3 cubicles and he picked the middle one rather than leave a buffer.

    People who do that are monsters.

    https://www.urinalman.com
    If they cant get it right in urinals, what hope is there. This should be thought along with consent classes.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,287 ✭✭✭ givyjoe


    The amount of brain donors here taking the original post and op's follow up seriously. Jesus wept.


  • Registered Users Posts: 24,450 ✭✭✭✭ Alf Veedersane


    I like this idea.

    However I’ve decided I’m just going to block off one of the cubicles so there’s only one available.

    Maybe have some industrial strength cleaners by the sink


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,556 ✭✭✭ Roger Hassenforder


    I like this idea.

    However I’ve decided I’m just going to block off one of the cubicles so there’s only one available.

    That means your peons will have to share your facilities.
    Ugggh


  • Registered Users Posts: 26,565 ✭✭✭✭ freshpopcorn


    When you've got to go you've got to go!


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,556 ✭✭✭ Roger Hassenforder


    When you've got to go you've got to go!

    Theres a bang of victim blaming of that.
    OP was effectively assaulted


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