Terrible interviews

bear1

Just had a fecking nightmare of an interview which I admit was my own doing.
I was contacted by a recruiter for the position of team leader in one of the big banks.
Told me to send my cv and the managers would review and get back to me.
So I uploaded the cv and sent it on.
Within an hour I had the interview set up.
Went in and the interviewer started to ask about my cv.
I began talking about my past experiences and dates, the interviewer looks confused.
He then stops me and says "there isn't anything about this on the cv".
"Err it should be there"
"Nope"
So he sighs and asks me to give him my experience so he can work out the dates.
I get flustered and desperately tried to remember the exact dates.
I apologies and advised that I obviously sent the cv incorrectly, to which he gets slightly snotty.
Went on with the interview and did the best I could but seems I fecked that up nice and good.
So... ah'ers, what say ye? Anything to make me feel better?

Pauliedragon

Did he not read the cv before calling you for an interview?

Outlaw Pete

I just get pure shy with the interviewer, cats. I get all nervous and I can't answer any of their questions.

ELM327

you went from 1 hour ago uploading your CV to interviewing?
They obviously didn't prep.

beejee

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

I just get pure shy with the interviewer, cats. I get all nervous and I can't answer any of their questions.

You were interviewed by multiple cats, posing as one entity? Were they all sellotaped together?

bear1

ELM327 wrote: »

you went from 1 hour ago uploading your CV to interviewing?
They obviously didn't prep.

Sorry, was called on Friday and today the interview.
Desperate I suppose.

Your Face

bear1 wrote: »

Sorry, was called on Friday and today the interview.
Desperate I suppose.

I'd say so.

Fr_Dougal

What are your strengths?
Attention to detail.

Ten of Swords

Santan

Ray Darcy just said "hold my beer".

Outlaw Pete

beejee wrote: »

You were interviewed by multiple cats, posing as one entity? Were they all sellotaped together?

Yeah, cool. Whatever you say.

You're the dude in the chair.

I am merely here.

"Tell me a little about yourself."

"Well, it all started before electricity..."

road_high

Ten of Swords wrote: »

That’s fecking brilliant, laughed out loud at that one!

road_high

I think the fact the cv didn’t match works against you on several levels- attention to detail and preparation clearly lacking.
Also credibility in that you couldn’t talk ad lib which makes the interviewer wonder if any of it is even true.
Also bring a copy of your cv, you should have it in front of you and know it in detail.

Signore Fancy Pants

Did you not picture them naked?

Thats where you fell down.

Force Carrier

'What's your greatest weakness"? should never be answered with "chocolate"

crustyjuggler

bear1 wrote: »

Just had a fecking nightmare of an interview which I admit was my own doing.
I was contacted by a recruiter for the position of team leader in one of the big banks.
Told me to send my cv and the managers would review and get back to me.
So I uploaded the cv and sent it on.
Within an hour I had the interview set up.
Went in and the interviewer started to ask about my cv.
I began talking about my past experiences and dates, the interviewer looks confused.
He then stops me and says "there isn't anything about this on the cv".
"Err it should be there"
"Nope"
So he sighs and asks me to give him my experience so he can work out the dates.
I get flustered and desperately tried to remember the exact dates.
I apologies and advised that I obviously sent the cv incorrectly, to which he gets slightly snotty.
Went on with the interview and did the best I could but seems I fecked that up nice and good.
So... ah'ers, what say ye? Anything to make me feel better?

What exactly attracts you to the leisure industry?”

bodhrandude

This Aphex Twin interview from 1994 comes to mind, god knows whats going on in the Russian interviewer's mind. :pac:

Lorelli!

Hard luck op if you don't get the job.

I think its good to bring in a copy of your own CV for yourself that you can use for reference or even just to hold and glance at during awkward moments.

I can't remember anything too bad except going to a recruiter where I wasn't prepared at all. At the time I was thinking of it as just a chat and didn't treat it as an interview at all. Can't remember exactly what I said but I was too honest and got a few weird looks from him.

DopeTech

In general I'm terrible at selling myself so I'm terrible at all the typical interview questions.

Had a few interviews before my last job that were trainwrecks either because I froze when asked a question or because I hadn't prepared for their questions. In one interview I had 4 people intervieing me in a small room almost I'm a semi circle. It was more of a grilling than an interview. Thankfully I got a job in the end which I really enjoy and pays better than all the others I interviewed for so it was their loss!

The key is to prepare but also treat each interview separately. They won't all be terrible. Some interviews can be nice people too!

pleas advice

Parkinson interviewing Meg Ryan was one..

JustAThought

Lucky you - getting an interview onna one day turnaround - your cv must be good - you mwver know it might have gone well - unterciewers who can only ask what month and day from q0 or 15 years of detailed synopses should be retured to man the uswage of cups in the office waterfont - its about as meaningful and as much a waste of the companys time in paying them a salary

Church on Tuesday

beejee wrote: »

You were interviewed by multiple cats, posing as one entity? Were they all sellotaped together?

Ah that's cat altogether.

petes

JustAThought wrote: »

Lucky you - getting an interview onna one day turnaround - your cv must be good - you mwver know it might have gone well - unterciewers who can only ask what month and day from q0 or 15 years of detailed synopses should be retured to man the uswage of cups in the office waterfont - its about as meaningful and as much a waste of the companys time in paying them a salary

Did you upload their cv?

Ficheall

I've had multiple interviews where I've either decided mid-interview that I didn't want the job, or decided I couldn't do the job, and just panicked, and asked to end the interview.


One such instance was an interview for a postdoc, which I was just doing for much-needed practice - 'twas via phone and there were three of them at the other end, which I hadn't expected. The only guy who spoke was Chinese and that, combined with the poor connection on my mobile, made what he was saying almost completely unintelligible.
I did manage to work out that I had neither any relevant experience or knowledge, and that the position didn't really sound like my cup of tea. I couldn't answer their questions about what I hoped to bring to the table, and the final straw was when I found myself unable to a fairly basic question about the software I'd worked on for my phd, so I said
"Look guys, this isn't going very well, but thanks for your time..."
The interviewer insisted that we drag things out for a couple more minutes, but things didn't really improve, save for my relief at having the pressure off.

True story.

Then they offered me the job, and that is how I ended up spending nearly two years working in the University of Birmingham, never really figuring out what exactly I was supposed to be doing.



I have, of course, made up for it since, by failing many times to get jobs which I would definitely be good at.

Vela

If it was a recruiter they might have been putting pressure on you to see how you'd act in a job interview. Recruiters are also told to get a minimum number of interviews a day to build up their books, even when they don't always have an actual position, so it's likely the person didn't pay much attention to your CV before getting you in.

somesoldiers

I got one of those “is there anything you dislike” curve balls once, I said I didn’t like computers, interview was for an Insurance company.

In fairness, it was only an 8 week internship/ summer thing... I was only a young fella, still in college and they had just recently introduced downloadable lecture notes, I could never seem to log in.

Didn’t really want the job anyhow was having too much fun working in a City Centre pub

mistersifter

I had an interview last week. I'd usually be pretty hard on myself for any little error I make in those situations but This time everything went perfect. Couldnt fault myself. I answered everything really well (I was told this during and after the interview) , I got on really well with the interviewer and even cracked some inoffensive little joke which he laughed at.

.......I didn't get the job.

Likewise, I've gotten offered stuff after doing what I thought were terrible interviews in the past.

Maybe they'll give you a 2nd chance to prove yourself. If not, f*ck it. Learn and move on. There will be other opportunities.

good luck!

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

JustAThought wrote: »

Lucky you - getting an interview onna one day turnaround - your cv must be good - you mwver know it might have gone well - unterciewers who can only ask what month and day from q0 or 15 years of detailed synopses should be retured to man the uswage of cups in the office waterfont - its about as meaningful and as much a waste of the companys time in paying them a salary

petes wrote: »

Did you upload their cv?

And run it through a spell check first.

I got asked once about my Master's Thesis and I couldn't remember what it was about. Couldn't even remember what it was called!
Tbh I'm struggling to remember anything about it now.....

road_high

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I got asked once about my Master's Thesis and I couldn't remember what it was about. Couldn't even remember what it was called!
Tbh I'm struggling to remember anything about it now.....

I hate that about interviews- they can go back over ten years and focus on some relatively insignificant aspect of work or education that you’ve long since buried in the back of your mind and you struggle to string two sentences together about it...despite having a plethora of far more relevant and trying experience since then- they want to talk about something that’s virtually irrelevant to the present day!

antodeco

JustAThought wrote: »

Lucky you - getting an interview onna one day turnaround - your cv must be good - you mwver know it might have gone well - unterciewers who can only ask what month and day from q0 or 15 years of detailed synopses should be retured to man the uswage of cups in the office waterfont - its about as meaningful and as much a waste of the companys time in paying them a salary

listermint

I don't really understand the opening post.

You sent the CV and they questioned you on it but the information you provided didn't match the CV you provided?

Why didn't you have a copy of your CV yourself

gormdubhgorm

bear1 wrote: »

Just had a fecking nightmare of an interview which I admit was my own doing.
I was contacted by a recruiter for the position of team leader in one of the big banks.
Told me to send my cv and the managers would review and get back to me.
So I uploaded the cv and sent it on.
Within an hour I had the interview set up.
Went in and the interviewer started to ask about my cv.
I began talking about my past experiences and dates, the interviewer looks confused.
He then stops me and says "there isn't anything about this on the cv".
"Err it should be there"
"Nope"
So he sighs and asks me to give him my experience so he can work out the dates.
I get flustered and desperately tried to remember the exact dates.
I apologies and advised that I obviously sent the cv incorrectly, to which he gets slightly snotty.
Went on with the interview and did the best I could but seems I fecked that up nice and good.
So... ah'ers, what say ye? Anything to make me feel better?

What you need to do in future is look up the 20 questions that are normally asked at interviews on Irish jobs.

Then answer them with examples from your work experiences.
Learn them off and whether you send the wrong CV or not in future you should be well covered.

road_high

road_high wrote: »

I hate that about interviews- they can go back over ten years and focus on some relatively insignificant aspect of work or education that you’ve long since buried in the back of your mind and you struggle to string two sentences together about it...despite having a plethora of far more relevant and trying experience since then- they want to talk about something that’s virtually irrelevant to the present day!

While all that is true, in my case the interview was only a couple of months after I'd finished the damned thesis! So it was pretty inexcusable.
Though in my defence it was my first "proper" job interview, and I was told I did well in all the other parts of the assessment (which included psychometric tests and giving a presentation from scratch), it was just the face-to-face interview that I fell down on.

20Cent

Worst one.

Do you know the entry requirements for this course?
Yes.
What are they?
Emmmmm

McCrack

Pat kennys interview with Pete Doherty was terrible

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eNNRvqhKYOs

Max Moment

Went for an interview a few years back via a head hunter. CV was sent to the company and the company seemed really keen to interview me.

Attended the interview with a company director and a hr manager. Interview kicked off well with the usual ‘tell me about yourself and career to date’. Everything was going great until the hr lady asked me my motivation for moving jobs. I was totally honest and said I was very interested in the new position they had on offer, but I was also looking to reduce my working hours as I had a young family. (Note at this stage I was doing over 65 hours a week minimum and some weeks 7 days a week for years which was not sustainable, but the job demanded it).

As soon as I mentioned reduced working hours to a ‘normal’ working week (when compared to my current working week) the director guy absoloutely tore into me saying “don’t think you’re coming in here trying to do 40 or 45 hours a week” and how I would be expected to do whatever hours & weekends that was needed without question (and in a very aggressive tone too). He continued “ye, don’t be thinking you will be doing 9-5 around here either” and “yeh, we’d all like time with our family and kids but that’s not going to happen”. He went on this rant for a good five minutes. I was disgusted and should have just walked out there and then.

Imagine working for this guy when he can’t even be civil in an interview!

I let the rest of the interview run it’s course and then left chalking it down to experience and expecting to hear nothing more.

A few hours later I get a call from the hr lady offering me the job! I almost burst out laughing at her on the phone declining it. She got very defensive when I told her the reasons. Obviously a bad culture in there - No wonder they were looking for staff!

Very strange

corner of hells

Army Interviewer " Do you take drugs ? "

Me "Yes , would you like some ? ".

AllForIt

You have to anticipate questions and have an idea how to answer them in advance of the interview. Not necessarily word for word as you would have a lots of lines to learn off but the essence of the answer. Then you won't have that wide eyed look as if you've been totally taken by surprise by what might be an obvious question. This will make you look competent and your preparation will show your really interested in the securing the role. It's not that hard a thing to do really, why not figure about the answers before the interview instead of sweating it at the interview. Your making the interview much easier for yourself by just spending an hour to 2 thinking about it.

road_high

Max Moment wrote: »

Went for an interview a few years back via a head hunter. CV was sent to the company and the company seemed really keen to interview me.

Attended the interview with a company director and a hr manager. Interview kicked off well with the usual ‘tell me about yourself and career to date’. Everything was going great until the hr lady asked me my motivation for moving jobs. I was totally honest and said I was very interested in the new position they had on offer, but I was also looking to reduce my working hours as I had a young family. (Note at this stage I was doing over 65 hours a week minimum and some weeks 7 days a week for years which was not sustainable, but the job demanded it).

As soon as I mentioned reduced working hours to a ‘normal’ working week (when compared to my current working week) the director guy absoloutely tore into me saying “don’t think you’re coming in here trying to do 40 or 45 hours a week” and how I would be expected to do whatever hours & weekends that was needed without question (and in a very aggressive tone too). He continued “ye, don’t be thinking you will be doing 9-5 around here either” and “yeh, we’d all like time with our family and kids but that’s not going to happen”. He went on this rant for a good five minutes. I was disgusted and should have just walked out there and then.
they were looking for staff!

Imagine working for this guy when he can’t even be civil in an interview!

I let the rest of the interview run it’s course and then left chalking it down to experience and expecting to hear nothing more.

A few hours later I get a call from the hr lady offering me the job! I almost burst out laughing at her on the phone declining it. She got very defensive when I told her the reasons. Obviously a bad culture in there - No wonder
Very strange

Wow. Imagine that pyschotic episode in an interview where they usually put up a fake veneer of harmony! Least it was brought up lest you had taken the job and then found out it was another crazy workload place.

I'm sure anyone whos ever sat any kind of finance/quant interview has had to put up with this, but questions like 'why are manholes round and not square', or 'how many bottles of wine could fit in this room?'

'I don't know, JEREMY, but I feel like a drink right now'

Laois_Man

Had this French dude interview me once - he was a one-man company - as arrogant as **** he was - starts the interview by going on about how Irish workers are arseholes and totally inferior to their French counterparts.....if I had that day back again, I wouldn't do what I did....which was basically to nod and smile politely.

Then he gets me up to do a whiteboard session to interview him as if he was a customer giving me system requirements - which I was totally unprepared for and which I made a complete balls of, although he wasn't gonna be happy no matter what I did anyway.

Then I got pulled over by a cop on a motorbike on the M50 10 minutes later for being on the phone while driving telling the recruitment agent what a massive dickehead yer man was.

I should have been on high alert cos the recruitment agent had told me they had already succeeded in getting someone into the job but that he walked out on day 1.

DeanAustin

I’ve had a few nightmares where my mouth was ahead of my brain but my worst experience was a couple of years back when I was being made redundant from my job and started interviewing for others.

Went for a second interview with the European Director and it was at 11:30. Got there 15 mins early. No sign of yer man at 11:30. Gets to 11:45 and no sign. Five minutes later his PA comes down and says “sorry he’s on a call and will be down in a minute.” I’m fuming at this stage. 12:00 comes and I decide “**** this” and walk out. Rang the agency and told them what happened and that I was no longer interested.

Later that day the agents boss rings me to talk me around. I told him I wasn’t interested. “But your man is very busy.” Red rag to a bull. “Yeah so am I but I’m sure if I turned up half an hour late, do you think I’d be getting the job?” That ended the conversation there.

In fairness to the company in question, they did apologise afterwards.

tylercheribini

Ive been on a few interviews where they haven't even bothered to look at your cv and expect you to reguritate it to them verbatim, really disrespectful and lacking basic common courtesy.

road_high

With interviews your instincts are usually spot on- if they are arrogant twats in the interview then they’re like that to work alongside also. So run a mile unless desperate

tylercheribini

road_high wrote: »

With interviews your instincts are usually spot on- if they are arrogant twats in the interview then they’re like that to work alongside also. So run a mile unless desperate

The public appointments service recruitment system has been outsourced to private firms in my last few experiences, now one is expected to deepthroat the corporate cock for a public sector job, thanks Fine Gael

take everything

Ficheall wrote: »

I've had multiple interviews where I've either decided mid-interview that I didn't want the job, or decided I couldn't do the job, and just panicked, and asked to end the interview.


One such instance was an interview for a postdoc, which I was just doing for much-needed practice - 'twas via phone and there were three of them at the other end, which I hadn't expected. The only guy who spoke was Chinese and that, combined with the poor connection on my mobile, made what he was saying almost completely unintelligible.
I did manage to work out that I had neither any relevant experience or knowledge, and that the position didn't really sound like my cup of tea. I couldn't answer their questions about what I hoped to bring to the table, and the final straw was when I found myself unable to a fairly basic question about the software I'd worked on for my phd, so I said
"Look guys, this isn't going very well, but thanks for your time..."
The interviewer insisted that we drag things out for a couple more minutes, but things didn't really improve, save for my relief at having the pressure off.

True story.

Then they offered me the job, and that is how I ended up spending nearly two years working in the University of Birmingham, never really figuring out what exactly I was supposed to be doing.



I have, of course, made up for it since, by failing many times to get jobs which I would definitely be good at.

That's very interesting to me. You completely broke protocol for the interview simply because you knew it was not going right (which is not a criticism. It's actually something I find admirable, but have never had the guts/rationality to do).
But the fact they offered you the job is not unrelated to this I would imagine.

God I hate the bull**** of interviews

StupidLikeAFox

I remember going for an internship in college and putting on the CV that I did "Advanced Excel"

Now at the time I had done things like an invoice template, a project cost tracker things like that. I had made a template which let you add in costs in one sheet and it formatted it to an invoice in another sheet that could be printed out. Also at the time my friends and family couldnt turn on a computer so this was some black magic to them. Pretty advanced if you ask me! So fast forward to the interview:

Interviewer: Advanced Excel I see, so do you work with macros?

Me: ....I'm not entirely sure what a macro is?

I: Hmm, so just some advanced formulas and modelling?

M: Oh yes, I'm good with formulas *proceed to explain how SUM and cell referencing works*


His expression at this point is a mixture of "are you ****ing kidding me" and "are you actually this clueless". Didnt get the job anyway. But in my defence this was a long time ago. I am now getting into data analytics in work so at some stage i hope to swan back in there like julia roberts in pretty woman and say "You work with data right? Remember you wouldn't hire me because I was **** at excel? Big mistake - HUGE!"

Yer Da sells Avon

"What's your biggest weakness?"

"Probably my honesty"

"Ah now, I don't think that's a weakness"

"I couldn't give a fuck what you think"

Ficheall

take everything wrote: »

That's very interesting to me. You completely broke protocol for the interview simply because you knew it was not going right (which is not a criticism. It's actually something I find admirable, but have never had the guts/rationality to do).
But the fact they offered you the job is not unrelated to this I would imagine.

God I hate the bull**** of interviews

Nope. The other interviewee would have needed to organise a visa. I did not...