If you were a teenager again would you do anything differently?

freshpopcorn

If I was a teenager again I'd tell myself not to take things to seriously.
I had a habit of worrying over stupid little things mainly regarding teachers when I was in my early teens but I did grow out if it.
I'd have gone out more also.

If you were a teenager again would you do anything differently?

devlinio

I'd study harder and attempt to do law or medicine in Trinity College. I have a good career ahead of me in software regardless. But law/medicine are much more prestigious and respected.

milanomosher

Definitely give one of my prick maths teachers a punch back.

Vincent Vega

I also would socialise more.
Maybe not with the people I avoided socialising with the first time round, but I like to think I'd put myself out there more, and go the extra mile to find more people I could relate to.

PingTing comes for Fire

I might give that masturbation thing, you hear so much about, a try.

Oh god yes. Made so many bad choices regarding drinking, friends, girls, flared trousers etc

Vincent Vega

Vincent Vega wrote: »

I also would socialise more.
Maybe not with the people I avoided socialising with the first time round, but I like to think I'd put myself out there more, and go the extra mile to find more people I could relate to.

this, i didn't go out much when I was younger, as a teen (to hang out with mates at weekends) or early 20's, didn't start going to clubs/pubs till I was in my final year of college at 23, should've made more of an effort....and shouldn't have got over confident after doing a good Pre's and did a crap leaving cert....I shouldn't also have over worked in my college days and had more time for hanging out/socialising with friends or gone for lads holidays/j1's....now I've turned 31 recently and wished I could've done my 19-25 years again...

Rubberchikken

would have done my Lc and got the job/career i really wanted. but no biggie:)

salmocab

More fingering

OldMrBrennan83

I'd probably have quit the fags, but even one change would have a massive effect on how things turn out. I've the Mrs and I'm close to my family so I'd really be mad to change anything at all.

super_furry

Probably not. It's not that I don't have regrets, it's just that my life is in a really good place right now and you wouldn't know what kind of butterfly effect **** you'd pull if you changed anything.

KAGY

Be more me and not worry about trying to be "cool". Had to go to college to embrace my inner nerd. Though so many years later I still sometimes remember faux pas that were completely inconsequential, even back then

Edit: and what super furry said

retro:electro

Probably not. Every teenaged fight, every failed exam, every sibling row, every stupid break up and every insignificant life event that I actually thought was the end of the world, have all made me the person I am today.
I had a a tough time of it during my teenaged years, in particular when I was doing my leaving cert which I eventually ended up failing and had to repeat.
I’d much rather the challenges I went through and the life lessons I had to learn because they’ve all informed the type of person who I am today, which is someone who is a massive arsehole but on the odd occasion if you catch me in the right mood I can be almost kind of nice.

freshpopcorn

KAGY wrote: »

Be more me and not worry about trying to be "cool". Had to go to college to embrace my inner nerd. Though so many years later I still sometimes remember faux pas that were completely inconsequential, even back then

Edit: and what super furry said

Funnily enough it took me years to realise that I wasn't that nerdy and more of of dope. So I'd have to embrace my inner fool sooner.

Probably not, for most of the reasons Retro:Electro listed (all the negative things as well as the positive things bring you to who you are now). Maybe I could have been less serious about *everything*, but I'd probably be in a different place now if I was, but since things worked out well for me I wouldn't risk changing anything.






ETA: to clarify, I don't want to give the impression that I had a tough teenage life, as with everyone else there were negative things but even those contribute to make you a rounded person and changing them might change you.

Cherry Blossom

I'd never have started smoking.

Austria!

Delete championship manager

fatknacker

Given serious consideration to going into a trade. Quit school, get apprentiship, earn a few bob in Tiger times, get onto property ladder, rent out property, head to Oz, earn a few more bob, come back, then go to uni as a mature student, with having a bit of dough and a gaf behind me.

Mint Sauce

As in being a teenager again in todays age, or back in the 90s.

I would hate to be a teenager today, actually, I would hate to be a teenager back in the 90s. Looking back it was awful at times.

Hunchback

I regret so much about my teenage years, particularly in school, that it literally makes my eyes pop open at night sometimes, and I have to say out loud that I 'forgive myself', or something like that.

In first year, I was put in a secondary school where I knew nobody. A working class school. There are worse out there. I was lucky enough to have had the benefit of an excellent primary education in a public school in the Dun Laoghaire borough and I really loved learning and striving to be the best student I could be. The secondary school I went to though was completely different. It was all about being stupid and rebellious and 'I don't give a f***". Because I tried to do well, at first, I stuck out like a sore thumb and quickly became a target for abuse - verbal, punches, whatever. I am a 39 year old man now, so this was in the early 90's.

What I did (or, what I felt I had to do in order to not be killed) was reinvent myself to be the boldest, the least caring, the funniest, the hardest, the maddest person I could. I rebelled against 'learning' in order to fit in. And I completely wasted my secondary school education as a result. I was suspended. I was taken out of the highest class and put in the lowest class. When I settled too well in the lowest class, they took me out of that and put me in a different class again.

The pressure I felt was compounded by the fact that I was a gay teenager, in the closet obviously. So, I felt I had to cultivate the image of the straightest, hardest, most not-give-a-**** person I could. I am really ashamed of my teenage years. I did some embarrassing things (although I was always really a good person underneath - sticking up for the underdog etc, and I hope I didn't ever hurt anyone intentionally). But, if there was a school reunion, I would never attend because I would find it almost impossible to reconcile the person I was then with the person I am now.

It took me until I was 30 to outgrow the hangover of the decisions I made in my teenage years. I was both psychologically full of regret and, in real terms, unable to do much to create a career. As as result, I slaved in restaurants throughout my twenties (because no matter how clever you think you are, if you don't open the text books you are going to get, at best, a mediocre leaving cert).

I am in a good place now. In 2011 I went back to college. Graduated in 2015 with a First Class Honours law degree, receiving the University Scholar award twice. I qualify as a solicitor at the end of March 2019. However, having said all that, I am still left with a palpable sense of inferiority that I think I may never fully shed, and it stems from the decisions I made as a teenager that shaped my life until I was 30, and beyond. I will be interviewing for positions soon enough, and a part of me still feels like an imposter - because I am forever haunted by the spectre of my teenage years. It's a tough one to shake.

Sorry for the long winded post - I think about this a lot

XsApollo

Wouldn’t of smoked the mountain of hash I smoked.
Ruined me.
Took me years to get over that stuff and what it did.
Still not right, but I don’t give a sh*t now :-)

aluminium

wear a condom........................

Jessie Belle

I wouldn't sweat the small stuff. I spent so much time worrying about things that could happen when some of the worst things that ever happened were things I could never have imagined. If I could give any advice to a teenager that would be it and wear sunscreen obvs.

Mam of 4

Retain my confidence , sense of worth , belief in my self . In other words people , never ever , let anyone undermine who you are as a person , just believe in yourselves .

dmc17

Hunchback wrote: »

I regret so much about my teenage years....

jimbobaloobob

I've no regrets as what I am is what I am right now and I can accept that.
I would probably have tried to see the bigger picture with some advice given to me by not doing so I took the long way to being at the point in my thinking that I am now.

jimbobaloobob

Just read back over some of the posts there and my heart goes out to all those who had such stressful teenage years. I feel very fortunate that I didn't seem to carry a care in the world. I was like a dog chasing birds off the clothes line. Even to this day I feel I need take things more serious but my mindset won't let me worry about things that I think are small stuff. The whole world is small stuff and I'm only a viewing passenger in this carriage.

Tipperary animal lover

Party harder no regrets, back in the early 90s going to decent club nights(proper raves showing my age now) in Dublin and cork when I was 16 and up one of the best things I ever did ... looking back the best years of my life( wish I did more of it but as a country boy could only make it every few weeks until i hit the big 18 got a job and did every weekend), now a night out marks a 2 or 3 day hang over .... can't handle them much anymore!!!

Pursued a career I enjoy. Gets harder when you have bills and a marriage and you hate your job / career.

My self-worth wouldn't be tied up with the opinion of randomers.

I was a bet out of shape as a teenager, started going to the gym at 20 but going before that definitely would've done me some good, even just for my own self confidence.

Definitely wouldn't have been so hard on myself when it came to school, I regularly used to stress over minute stuff like a test after lunch to the point of getting sick. It wasn't worth it in the end, things worked out, and I try to get that message across to any relatives around that age.

Fuddyduddy

Yeah I would have hit on more girls and not rejected the ones that were interested in me. Took a while to be confident/understand dating.

Would have participated more in school projects/activities that I thought only the smart kids up their own arses did.

Would have studied more.

Would have taken sports more seriously.

Fuddyduddy

Hunchback wrote: »

I regret so much about my teenage years, particularly in school, that it literally makes my eyes pop open at night sometimes, and I have to say out loud that I 'forgive myself', or something like that.

In first year, I was put in a secondary school where I knew nobody. A working class school. There are worse out there. I was lucky enough to have had the benefit of an excellent primary education in a public school in the Dun Laoghaire borough and I really loved learning and striving to be the best student I could be. The secondary school I went to though was completely different. It was all about being stupid and rebellious and 'I don't give a f***". Because I tried to do well, at first, I stuck out like a sore thumb and quickly became a target for abuse - verbal, punches, whatever. I am a 39 year old man now, so this was in the early 90's.

What I did (or, what I felt I had to do in order to not be killed) was reinvent myself to be the boldest, the least caring, the funniest, the hardest, the maddest person I could. I rebelled against 'learning' in order to fit in. And I completely wasted my secondary school education as a result. I was suspended. I was taken out of the highest class and put in the lowest class. When I settled too well in the lowest class, they took me out of that and put me in a different class again.

The pressure I felt was compounded by the fact that I was a gay teenager, in the closet obviously. So, I felt I had to cultivate the image of the straightest, hardest, most not-give-a-**** person I could. I am really ashamed of my teenage years. I did some embarrassing things (although I was always really a good person underneath - sticking up for the underdog etc, and I hope I didn't ever hurt anyone intentionally). But, if there was a school reunion, I would never attend because I would find it almost impossible to reconcile the person I was then with the person I am now.

It took me until I was 30 to outgrow the hangover of the decisions I made in my teenage years. I was both psychologically full of regret and, in real terms, unable to do much to create a career. As as result, I slaved in restaurants throughout my twenties (because no matter how clever you think you are, if you don't open the text books you are going to get, at best, a mediocre leaving cert).

I am in a good place now. In 2011 I went back to college. Graduated in 2015 with a First Class Honours law degree, receiving the University Scholar award twice. I qualify as a solicitor at the end of March 2019. However, having said all that, I am still left with a palpable sense of inferiority that I think I may never fully shed, and it stems from the decisions I made as a teenager that shaped my life until I was 30, and beyond. I will be interviewing for positions soon enough, and a part of me still feels like an imposter - because I am forever haunted by the spectre of my teenage years. It's a tough one to shake.

Sorry for the long winded post - I think about this a lot

Thanks for sharing!

I can relate to a lot of that (not the gay bit).

I skipped 6th class because I was bright, but ended up just being a small and average student in first year due to being a year younger. I went from higher level maths/irish down into ordinary. Because I was physically a year younger, I ended up hanging around with scumbags due to being impressionable and also overcompensating the "hard lad" look at least in first and second year.

I did make friends with almost everyone in school though, but never felt like I belonged to a group per se. Drank heavily throughout secondary school as a crutch.

Managed to get a semi decent (mid 400s) leaving cert after cramming in the last year and a half.

orourkeda1977

I'd have studied harder. I wasted a lot of time in school through sheer boredom.

Also, I'd have tried to ride way more girls while I wasnt a complete mess.

Fuddyduddy

orourkeda1977 wrote: »

I'd have studied harder. I wasted a lot of time in school through sheer boredom.

Also, I'd have tried to ride way more girls while I wasnt a complete mess.

Amen.

Kevin Finnerty

jimbobaloobob wrote: »

Just read back over some of the posts there and my heart goes out to all those who had such stressful teenage years. I feel very fortunate that I didn't seem to carry a care in the world. I was like a dog chasing birds off the clothes line. Even to this day I feel I need take things more serious but my mindset won't let me worry about things that I think are small stuff. The whole world is small stuff and I'm only a viewing passenger in this carriage.

Gonna hang onto that dog chasing birds off a clothes line bit, that's a good modus operandi when it comes to being happy.
I hated my teens, so much so I refuse to revisit them myself, just a big black hole. As another poster I did manage to put it down together somewhat coherently.
Would I change anything? Everything. Someone else lived that period of my life, not me.

Pauliedragon

Make myself study more. I was no genius but I was relatively smart in school. I literally did fcuk all study and barely missed out on my preferred college courses. Too busy staring at young wans.

mookishboy

Not done the session in 2007 that gave me a psychotic episode. That i am still having the after effects, Alcohol addiction as a means to forget. Loss of what i feel is my original self, So want to be who i was. In a good job that I used to enjoy and now i hate because of where my head is. Still i am who i am and can only play the hand im dealt.
I have done worse things to people while i was younger but i wouldnt be me if i changed that.
Im not me now.

Muckka

I would do it all over again, I enjoyed every minute of it.
Had a great time mucking around and had great friends and parties.

No regrets

Fuddyduddy

Muckka wrote: »

I would do it all over again, I enjoyed every minute of it.
Had a great time mucking around and had great friends and parties.

No regrets

Username is apt lol

Mister Vain

I would definitely stick up for myself more and not allow myself to be pushed around. I would eat a lot healthier too.

suicide_circus

any changes would be dangerous as it could result in not meeting my wife

wakka12

I would be more outgoing and have tried more ways to overcome by crippling shyness, and tried to make more friends during school

Though I cant say I 'regret' anything, theres just no point in giving any worry to the past it is a completely useless waste of time and energy, nothing about it can ever be changed so just put all your effort into making the future you want

AMKC

I was quiet shy in school and not good at making friends that's why I had no friends leaving school. I had some half friends just not life long friends if you get me. I should have stood up for myself more and socialized more too. If there was something I would change it would be a couple of mistakes I made in first year oh and my Debs would be totally different but unless someone invents a time machine soon its never going to happen so no point worrying about it.

Ariadne

My teenage years were the most painful years of my life. Still spending my time now trying to get over them. I'd do a lot of things differently but I don't really dwell on it too much, I made a lot of mistakes but I wasn't in a good place at the time so I can see why I made them.

zl1whqvjs75cdy

Life's a funny old thing. We spend so much of it regretting what we did in the past and stressing about what might be in the future. Don't think there's much point in trying to change what's already happened, or worrying about it too much. Done is done. Just try to live for now as much as you can.

Zorya

If I changed anything I wouldn't be here now with the ones I love, so I wouldn't change anything even though I was often a complete doofus!

Only thing I would say to my teenage self is to completely ignore those mean bitches who bullied me as I was very shy and studious. They made life hell for a few people. Wish I had punched a few of them in their stupid faces. Then again I am glad I was never one of those girls - would hate to think back on the suffering I might had caused.

Succubus_

Succubus_ wrote: »

My teenage years were the most painful years of my life. Still spending my time now trying to get over them. I'd do a lot of things differently but I don't really dwell on it too much, I made a lot of mistakes but I wasn't in a good place at the time so I can see why I made them.

I just edited my earlier post as it gave the erroneous impression that my teenage years were tough. They weren't, just the normal ups and downs and those things help make us complete as people. Few people just sail through the teens, just as well since it takes more than positive experiences to form character so the road bumps serve a purpose - until they become roadblocks.

When I read posts like yours and know how hard some people have it because of factors beyond their control, decisions not of their making, circumstances that can't or don't change, I'm often struck at how little credit people give themselves for surviving those years, and particularly for turning out to be decent caring people.

You're one of those people. It doesn't matter if you made mistakes, you still turned out to be inspirational in how you've coped with adversity.

alta stare

If i could go back i wouldnt have two kids by the time i was twenty. Id go get a trade or college. But as they say hindsight is a great thing so iv just went and done what i wanted later in life as your never too old. Yes it makes it more daunting but hey what harm better late than never.

I have though drilled it into my kids not to do life the way i did.

esme95

I would have been a lot more sociable. I spent my teenage years as a recluse. There were (and still are) lapses in my social skills which truly surfaced when I went to college. I would have taken up a sport. I would have believed in myself a hell of a lot more. I would not say all those horrible things to my family members. Looking back I think I was severely depressed and I think it went undiagnosed. I would spend all summer in my room with the curtains and closed, even on sunny days. I would walk around with a slumped posture, my eyes fixed on the ground. I had no interest in boys, I didn't even take one to my debs. I had no interest in anything really. It was only around second year of college that I started to appreciate the world, that I started to explore what life has to offer, that I started to build a sense of identity and self worth, which as a young woman in my early 20's, I am still working on.

I had a difficult time as a teenager and I am still picking up the pieces. My self confidence has improved enormously but I still feel as insecure as my teenage self at times. I believe that your teenage years truly are your formative years and if I were to have a teenage daughter I would instill in her a very strong sense of self confidence that I suppose my own mother failed to do in me. Indeed, it is making me quite sad to even recall those years.

Fuddyduddy

esme95 wrote: »

I would have been a lot more sociable. I spent my teenage years as a recluse. There were (and still are) lapses in my social skills which truly surfaced when I went to college. I would have taken up a sport. I would have believed in myself a hell of a lot more. I would not say all those horrible things to my family members. Looking back I think I was severely depressed and I think it went undiagnosed. I would spend all summer in my room with the curtains and closed, even on sunny days. I would walk around with a slumped posture, my eyes fixed on the ground. I had no interest in boys, I didn't even take one to my debs. I had no interest in anything really. It was only around second year of college that I started to appreciate the world, that I started to explore what life has to offer, that I started to build a sense of identity and self worth, which as a young woman in my early 20's, I am still working on.

I had a difficult time as a teenager and I am still picking up the pieces. My self confidence has improved enormously but I still feel as insecure as my teenage self at times. I believe that your teenage years truly are your formative years and if I were to have a teenage daughter I would instill in her a very strong sense of self confidence that I suppose my own mother failed to do in me.

Have you identified what you believe was the catalyst to your depression/"reclusivity"? Have you reconciled?