Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

Lahvlann: Now seeking the spirit of the yellow duck - 5th Dec forward

17273757778366

Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 5,929 ✭✭✭Mena Mitty


    Don't be wrecking the buzz caller talking about chislers having no lunches.


  • Registered Users Posts: 23,298 ✭✭✭✭zell12


    Eradicated


  • Registered Users Posts: 28,403 ✭✭✭✭vicwatson


    Duffy you don’t ffffing know, people that get 400,000 euro a year DONT understand poverty. Do you get that DUFFY


  • Registered Users Posts: 21,065 ✭✭✭✭Odyssey 2005


    Knew the rye be the cűpla fochaill


  • Registered Users Posts: 23,298 ✭✭✭✭zell12


    Imagine if a man said 'I'm thinking of those children' ?


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 5,929 ✭✭✭Mena Mitty


    Do the chislers not give the teachers plants anymore.


  • Registered Users Posts: 23,298 ✭✭✭✭zell12


    Mena Mitty wrote: »
    Do the chislers not give the teachers plants anymore.
    Money trees


  • Registered Users Posts: 38,743 ✭✭✭✭Dan Jaman


    When I was at school, any pupil who brought in gifts for the teacher was immediately supected to be a snitch and the teacher's pet.
    Вашему собственному бычьему дерьму нельзя верить - V Putin
    




  • Registered Users Posts: 23,298 ✭✭✭✭zell12


    Finished 15:01:37


  • Registered Users Posts: 53,028 ✭✭✭✭ButtersSuki


    zell12 wrote: »
    I hope Revenue are listening to this

    Won’t make any difference. They’ve been talking for years they’d investigate these one man band operations masquerading as corporations for the sole purpose of tax avoidance but yet we’re no further along the track on this - what would appear to be a very simple thing to do really.

    Oh wait, did you mean the caller?


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 53,028 ✭✭✭✭ButtersSuki


    What did I miss?


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,929 ✭✭✭Mena Mitty


    What did I miss?

    Drink for the binmen and USA assortment for the postman allegedly.


  • Registered Users Posts: 23,298 ✭✭✭✭zell12


    What did I miss?
    Zell12


  • Registered Users Posts: 39,415 ✭✭✭✭Itssoeasy


    Darcy is doing Christmas trees from the rising.


  • Registered Users Posts: 28,403 ✭✭✭✭vicwatson


    What did I miss?

    Duffy on a yawn fest again

    Duffy pretending he understands poverty


  • Registered Users Posts: 21,065 ✭✭✭✭Odyssey 2005


    What did I miss?

    Fuk all :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 53,028 ✭✭✭✭ButtersSuki


    zell12 wrote: »
    Zell12

    Heart_Eyes_Emoji_large.png?v=1480481053


  • Registered Users Posts: 53,028 ✭✭✭✭ButtersSuki


    McDermotX wrote: »
    Probably a FF.....but no-one here can say for certain. For obvious reasons.

    I'd say many a caller attempted.succeeded in topping themselves during a FunnyFryday.........
    Itssoeasy wrote: »
    Changed the names but she's talking in her normal voice which someone will recognise.

    Classic Lahv Lahn logic. Obviously Primetime had de voice mumblin' masheen twoday....:rolleyes:
    TomSweeney wrote: »
    I really wanna crack a joke about Joe asking for the images ... nah too much ...

    PM me with de joke caller....for research purposes.
    Itssoeasy wrote: »
    Is it child pornography if it's shared between two teenagers of the same age ?

    It sure is. "I've heard"....
    Is it with a sence of relief.. so to speak.
    He does his best to sound clever

    Not sure I'd be using dat wurd in a discussion about child porn caller......

    TomSweeney wrote: »
    Apparently there was a case in the US where a 15 year old girl took pics of herself and sent them to a group - she was charged with possesion and distribution - the rest charged with possesion, beggars belief.

    Also, I know it's a sensitive topic here, but surely a pic of a girl with her baps out - that she is doing herself, is no way near as bad as the real stuff out there ... I'm not condoning this - but it all seems to be thrown into the same basket nowadays.

    Cool username! Only in America caller (and de rest of furst wurldid)
    zell12 wrote: »
    Joe, I never look at my bills.
    Well lah-di-dah

    Joe has staff to deal with his bills.
    Itssoeasy wrote: »
    I'm not a banker. How is that relevant ?

    Maybe she could offer him some investment advice?
    Ally Dick wrote: »
    This one is dingbats. One of the rugrats obviously rang her new boyfriend a bit longer than normal

    Or maybe de dawtur was sharing videos a la de earlier story?
    Sir Oxman wrote: »
    Ring bank, reverse DD
    Do NOT wait on eir to correct this

    dare's no place for this logic and sensible solutions on Da Lahv Lahn. You are most definEYEtly new here.

    Welcome btw.

    Itssoeasy wrote: »
    Serena Williams tactic.

    She played the race card too after that epic meltdown.
    Itssoeasy wrote: »
    There are some people with little cop on in this country. It's never their fault of course.

    Joe or the caller? Silly me, both obviously.
    BarryD2 wrote: »
    Any chance that Joe would cover the excessive wages paid to RTE radio staff? Like D'Arcy, Tubridy, Finucane and himself for starters. Wages collected from the licence paying public.

    Ah Barry, come on now....you're not new here.
    TomSweeney wrote: »
    Remember folks the Christmas tips this Thursday - have your pen and paper ready ...

    Or if you can't wait until Turrsday just listen to last year's show because I guarantee you 99% of it will be the same Top Tips nonsense. It's on de player - but dat may not wurk because despite only recently having been overhauled the tech is at least 5 years old and it's already essentially obsolete. But shure it's only taxpayer's munny.....
    Roger_007 wrote: »
    Didn't catch the start today. Was there any mention of the shenanigans in Roscommon?

    Pfffft. Are you joking?
    McDermotX wrote: »
    Tullamore Tom was right.

    It's a show full of the permanently outraged, and they are all a pain in de arse.

    And day should all drop dead!
    Ex garda living in the right place...apparently

    Oh, was he an ex-Garda? I did not know dat.

    I was genuinely upset to hear a dog was killed in this incident. That's two dogs shot for no reason in recent weeks. :(:mad:
    mojesius wrote: »
    From online grooming to crappy eir to Tesco club to beatings and mental illness. Joe's selection box of misery and ****e. Ho ho ho

    You can't say dat! You can't say dat! Dat's offensive to prostitutes.
    Dan Jaman wrote: »
    To provide jollies for the host.

    As per usual....
    vicwatson wrote: »
    Duffy playing Santa Claus this week

    They're roughly de same shape.
    Itssoeasy wrote: »
    Even joe seems concerned and it seems genuine.

    Don't be fooled caller. Once his rotund derriere hit de heated seat of de Jag she was long forgotten about.
    zell12 wrote: »
    I hope Revenue are listening to this

    See my previous comment on this.
    Thinly veiled “I have a masters” call.

    I know someone with 2.........and many udder postgrads. Should I get him to call in?
    vicwatson wrote: »
    Duffy you don’t ffffing know, people that get 400,000 euro a year DONT understand poverty. Do you get that DUFFY

    You need to check de calendar Vic, you'er operating on 20-16 figures.....go back to the start of twoday's thread and read where we're at for 2-18 and dat. Make sure you're seated before you do this and dat dare's no sharp object around you.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,929 ✭✭✭Mena Mitty


    Joe popped up on Nationwide this evening. Something to do with the late Sonny Knowles RIP being crowned King of Dublin back in the 80's or 90's or 00's on his birthday.

    There was a nice archive interview with the singer and his wife at home on the show also.

    Joe looked very trendy in an aquamarine blue paisley design Trevira jacket, wing tip shirt and Frank Muiresque red and blue dickie bow and of course the ballad singer beard as we call it around these here parts.


  • Registered Users Posts: 53,028 ✭✭✭✭ButtersSuki


    Mena Mitty wrote: »
    Joe popped up on Nationwide this evening. Something to do with the late Sonny Knowles RIP being crowned King of Dublin back in the 80's or 90's or 00's on his birthday.

    There was a nice archive interview with the singer and his wife at home on the show also.

    Joe looked very trendy in an aquamarine blue paisley design Trevira jacket, wing tip shirt and Frank Muiresque red and blue dickie bow and of course the ballad singer beard as we call it around these here parts.

    A very American Psycho-type description there Mena, well done! Well done!

    Must remind myself to get a watch-een of that in before De Chrimbo and dat. I do love de buke and de movie fillum too.

    Eqmf.gif

    tenor.gif?itemid=7212093


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 25,420 ✭✭✭✭sligojoek


    What did I miss?

    Very little. I just heard the eir-head near the start. Joe Joe Joe.

    It's worth listening to the eye-podcast of the teachers' gifts section. If you haven't time to listen to it all go to 11 mins to hear joe in a fit of buffoonery at the mention of womens' pyjamas . It makes the "Bishop and the nightie" pale to insignificance.


  • Registered Users Posts: 23,298 ✭✭✭✭zell12


    Comparing Deutsche Welle to Lahvlahn
    https://twitter.com/rickoshea/status/1074630698877796352


  • Registered Users Posts: 53,028 ✭✭✭✭ButtersSuki


    Fateen made up for de very short intro yesterday by spending way way way too long telling us ahow wunderful fantastic de wunderful fantastic self-published bukes and day are and all of dem are wunderful fantastic so to speak written by wunderful fantastic people who showed grate bravery and effort and dat to publish de self-published bukes dat are wunderful fantastic and indeed better dan udder bukes so to speak dat were published and dat but not self-published so to speak.

    He has such a limited vocabulary it’s frightening.


  • Registered Users Posts: 53,028 ✭✭✭✭ButtersSuki


    TWODAY'S De Brand NEW & IMPROVED so to speak 2-18 Joe Duffy Wurkday Calculator and dat:

    Wurkdays in 2-18 and dat: 245
    Joe Shows: 199
    No Show Joe Shows: 46
    Breakeens 4 Joe: 46
    PBH (de full-time host of de show) Shows: 39
    PBH guest appearances and dat: 1
    D'Omen Shows: 5
    AN Udder Shows: 0
    Good Fryday No Show by nobody at all at all: 1
    De Budget Day No Show by nobody at all at all: 1

    NEW FEATURE SO TO SPEAK:


    Fateen's Estimated Fees (De FEF Matrix so to speak) to date dis year:
    AT LEAST €497,500*

    Tamarra will be a great day wen de wurkin class man wit de wurkin class accent and de wurkin class wurk ettic "earns" more (in just 31.25 days of accumulated 8hour days) dan 11 times wat de actual wurkin' class man wit a real wurkin class wurk ettic for a full year so to speak. Hooray for Capitalism Cronyism!

    (not including de EXTRA FEES for 3 days of De Beast From De East TV + Radio Simulcast Xtravaganza + likely "Danger Money" for travelling to and from wurk in de snow and dat nor d'expenses for driving, vittels and de overnightin' often mere days in advance of a FunnyFryday. Wurking class man wit de wurking class wurk ettic and dat.
    King-World-News-WTF-Is-Going-On-Here-864x400_c.jpg


    *de fees are calculated at €2,500 per show x days dat Fateen is in so to speak. Dose fees are likely conservative and outdated as day are 2 years old so to speak.
    I'm including Good Fryday as a Wurkday as it is not an official Bank Holiday/Holiday Day. Even Pat Kenny is in Newstalk FFS, but no-one in RTE of course of course.
    [/I]


    De famed and oft-quoted €416K figure is earnings from 2-14, published 2 years later in 2-16:
    https://www.irishtimes.com/business/...list-1.2574342

    RTÉ are very slow (2 years+ is the norm) to report the fees paid to contractors under their absolutely BS excuse of commercial sensitivity - yes, because we all know CNN, NBC. BBC etc. are literally beating down the doors of this elite broadcasting talent to poach them away.

    The last published figures were in 2-17, which reported on fees paid in 2-15.
    https://www.thejournal.ie/rte-pay-3524877-Aug2017/

    We're still waiting for the 2-16 figures!

    There's an attempted slight of hand at play even then as these fees make no mention of days worked etc. So a raise in the per day/show rate coupled with increased holidays could net the host roughly the same gross fees figure, with many more days off included in the work year. This allows RTÉ to say (at a topline level) that they paid X less this year, allows X to say "I took a decrease in salary this year" and ticks all the BS PR boxes you need. To get to the real nub of this, you need to examine like with like.

    Crude working example for illustrative purposes:
    John Bluffy gets €1K per show in 2-14 and does 155 shows = €155K
    John Bluffy gets €1.5K per show in 2-15 and does 100 shows = €150K

    The key is that John Bluffy worked significantly less time to accumulate roughly the same fees; but both parties can say that fees went down; when in reality they increased on a like for like basis.

    These are some of the reasons I created De Wurkday Calculator. The €2,500 per show is an estimate based on 2-14 figures. Now answer me this, do you honestly think they're still on the same day rate 4 years later?

    And don't forget, someone has a few extra Brucey Bonus Fees this year from TV:
    Lahv Lahn Call Back (+ repeats)
    De Papal Visit (lots of hours on that "project")
    Simulcast TV appearances during De Beast From De East

    But we'll have to wait until 2020 to hear what he took in fees this year.

    Mistake removed so to speak...


    2018-03-14_new_39282403_I1.JPG
    It takes a lot of munny ta luke dis cheap sez I.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,152 ✭✭✭jelutong


    The doctor said I was impotent so I said I'd better dress impotent.
    Do the accent so to speak.


  • Registered Users Posts: 53,028 ✭✭✭✭ButtersSuki


    jelutong wrote: »
    The doctor said I was impotent so I said I'd better dress impotent.
    Do the accent so to speak.

    Soul Man?


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,929 ✭✭✭Mena Mitty


    jelutong wrote: »
    The doctor said I was impotent so I said I'd better dress impotent.
    Do the accent so to speak.

    Get with multicultural Oirland caller ;-)

    I's impotent.


  • Registered Users Posts: 20,448 ✭✭✭✭dxhound2005


    TWODAY'S De Brand NEW & IMPROVED so to speak 2-18 Joe Duffy Wurkday Calculator and dat:

    Wurkdays in 2-18 and dat: 245
    Joe Shows: 199
    No Show Joe Shows: 46
    Breakeens 4 Joe: 46
    PBH (de full-time host of de show) Shows: 39
    PBH guest appearances and dat: 1
    D'Omen Shows: 5
    AN Udder Shows: 0
    Good Fryday No Show by nobody at all at all: 1
    De Budget Day No Show by nobody at all at all: 1

    NEW FEATURE SO TO SPEAK:


    Fateen's Estimated Fees (De FEF Matrix so to speak) to date dis year:
    AT LEAST €497,500*

    Tamarra will be a great day wen de wurkin class man wit de wurkin class accent and de wurkin class wurk ettic "earns" more (in just 31.25 days of accumulated 8hour days) dan 11 times wat de actual wurkin' class man wit a real wurkin class wurk ettic for a full year so to speak. Hooray for Capitalism Cronyism!

    (not including de EXTRA FEES for 3 days of De Beast From De East TV + Radio Simulcast Xtravaganza + likely "Danger Money" for travelling to and from wurk in de snow and dat nor d'expenses for driving, vittels and de overnightin' often mere days in advance of a FunnyFryday. Wurking class man wit de wurking class wurk ettic and dat.
    King-World-News-WTF-Is-Going-On-Here-864x400_c.jpg


    *de fees are calculated at €2,500 per show x days dat Fateen is in so to speak. Dose fees are likely conservative and outdated as day are 2 years old so to speak.
    I'm including Good Fryday as a Wurkday as it is not an official Bank Holiday/Holiday Day. Even Pat Kenny is in Newstalk FFS, but no-one in RTE of course of course.
    [/I]


    De famed and oft-quoted €416K figure is earnings from 2-14, published 2 years later in 2-16:
    https://www.irishtimes.com/business/...list-1.2574342

    RTÉ are very slow (2 years+ is the norm) to report the fees paid to contractors under their absolutely BS excuse of commercial sensitivity - yes, because we all know CNN, NBC. BBC etc. are literally beating down the doors of this elite broadcasting talent to poach them away.

    The last published figures were in 2-17, which reported on fees paid in 2-15.
    https://www.thejournal.ie/rte-pay-3524877-Aug2017/

    We're still waiting for the 2-16 figures!

    There's an attempted slight of hand at play even then as these fees make no mention of days worked etc. So a raise in the per day/show rate coupled with increased holidays could net the host roughly the same gross fees figure, with many more days off included in the work year. This allows RTÉ to say (at a topline level) that they paid X less this year, allows X to say "I took a decrease in salary this year" and ticks all the BS PR boxes you need. To get to the real nub of this, you need to examine like with like.

    Crude working example for illustrative purposes:
    John Bluffy gets €1K per show in 2-14 and does 155 shows = €155K
    John Bluffy gets €1.5K per show in 2-15 and does 100 shows = €150K

    The key is that John Bluffy worked significantly less time to accumulate roughly the same fees; but both parties can say that fees went down; when in reality they increased on a like for like basis.

    These are some of the reasons I created De Wurkday Calculator. The €2,500 per show is an estimate based on 2-14 figures. Now answer me this, do you honestly think they're still on the same day rate 4 years later?

    And don't forget, someone has a few extra Brucey Bonus Fees this year from TV:
    Lahv Lahn Call Back (+ repeats)
    De Papal Visit (lots of hours on that "project")
    Simulcast TV appearances during De Beast From De East

    But we'll have to wait until 2020 to hear what he took in fees this year.

    Potential GOLD (and courtcase/apology) incoming twoday with Ryanair calls.


    2018-03-14_new_39282403_I1.JPG
    It takes a lot of munny ta luke dis cheap sez I.

    You made a slight mistake.


  • Registered Users Posts: 19,908 ✭✭✭✭2smiggy


    what have Ryanair done now ?


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 43,024 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    bukes too cr@p to get published today

    always fun


This discussion has been closed.
Advertisement