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How are your ****s?

  • 24-11-2018 12:34am
    #1
    fordyjames
    Closed Accounts Posts: 28 ✭


    Mine are crazy hard lately. Pain to be honest.

    Arse would be like a lizards sleeve afterwards.


Comments

  • #2
    floatwinner
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 113 ✭✭floatwinner


    It's WIZARD'S sleeve.


  • #3
    up for anything
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,779 ✭✭✭up for anything


    floatwinner wrote: »
    It's WIZARD'S sleeve.

    You have the best name ever for this particular thread. :D


  • #4
    Kevin Finnerty
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,254 ✭✭✭Kevin Finnerty


    up for anything wrote: »
    You have the best name ever for this particular thread. :D

    It's the wink in the avatar makes it!


  • #5
    Zorya
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,194 ✭✭✭Zorya


    Take Triphala tablets and drink more water


  • #6
    blade1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,605 ✭✭✭✭blade1


    At least you're in the right place for talking shīt!


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  • #7
    DEFTLEFTHAND
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,500 ✭✭✭✭DEFTLEFTHAND


    Have a stained ring around my hole at the moment which I can't shift.

    Went on the batter in Dublin last weekend on the G.


    Arse has been very fragile since, backed out a few black loads in the aftermath but can't clear the hard crusted staining on the cheeks.


    My wife suggested bleach , would this work?


  • #8
    gimli2112
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,411 ✭✭✭✭gimli2112


    drinking bleach is incredibly dangerous


  • #9
    guitarhappy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 229 ✭✭guitarhappy


    Maybe you're dehydrated. You need agood soft log daily to be healthy. A soft, foot long anaconda looking at you from the bowl is what you're aiming for. (Don't post any pics)


  • #10
    Kevin Finnerty
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,254 ✭✭✭Kevin Finnerty


    DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »
    Have a stained ring around my hole at the moment which I can't shift.

    Went on the batter in Dublin last weekend on the G.


    Arse has been very fragile since, backed out a few black loads in the aftermath but can't clear the hard crusted staining on the cheeks.


    My wife suggested bleach , would this work?

    A bottle of Sphincter Rinser. Ask in the chemist, not sure if you need a prescription.


  • #11
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 17,378 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »
    Have a stained ring around my hole at the moment which I can't shift.

    Went on the batter in Dublin last weekend on the G.


    Arse has been very fragile since, backed out a few black loads in the aftermath but can't clear the hard crusted staining on the cheeks.


    My wife suggested bleach , would this work?

    A bum gun or a Japanese toilet would. I can't stand using toilet roll. I have to look for the nearest high-powered stream of water.


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  • #12
    biko
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 81,220 ✭✭✭✭biko


    fordyjames wrote: »
    Mine are crazy hard lately. Pain to be honest.
    Is facebook closed or something?


  • #13
    sjb25
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,406 ✭✭✭sjb25


    gimli2112 wrote: »
    drinking bleach is incredibly dangerous

    Lol :)


  • #14
    Ficheall
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,034 ✭✭✭Ficheall


    floatwinner wrote: »
    fordyjames wrote: »
    Mine are crazy hard lately. Pain to be honest.

    Arse would be like a lizards sleeve afterwards.
    It's WIZARD'S sleeve.
    Well, someone has obviously never had a decent case of haemorrhoids!


  • #15
    milltown
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,618 ✭✭✭milltown


    DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »
    Have a stained ring around my hole at the moment which I can't shift.

    Went on the batter in Dublin last weekend on the G.


    Arse has been very fragile since, backed out a few black loads in the aftermath but can't clear the hard crusted staining on the cheeks.


    My wife suggested bleach , would this work?

    Wire brush and Dettol. Yer only man.


  • #16
    JohnnyFlash
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    Down in Cork for the weekend. Had a tray of Murphy’s last night. I’ve an arse on me this morning like the brake light of a Honda 50.


  • #17
    Poor Uncle Tom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,547 ✭✭✭✭Poor Uncle Tom


    Jeyes Fluid and cordite should sort you out, short fuse only.


  • #18
    Boom_Bap
    Moderators, Music Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,734 Mod ✭✭✭✭Boom_Bap


    OP, would you say your arse is more like a grapefruit or the japanese flag?

    does-grapefruit-help-you-lose-weight-by-greenblender-fruit.jpg


  • #19
    Buford T. Justice XIX
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,633 ✭✭✭✭Buford T. Justice XIX


    Mod note:Plenty of fluids and an increase in dietary fibre, your only job.


    And on that bombshell, I think we're done here. Thanks to all for your, erm, enlightening inputs on the OPs outputs:P


    Buford T. Justice


This discussion has been closed.
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