Fulfilling career, or work to live ?

LegacyUser

Dunno why I'm posting tbh, maybe by just writing down thoughts I might get some clarity.

Short bio is that I'm relatively young (30s), with kids. I work a seniorish position in technology, I'm very well paid, I have a managable mortgage. I'm good at what I do. But I don't really enjoy it. I enjoy it when I'm challenged, when I have to go off and research things, when I have to bury myself into experimenting with things for hours on end. The hours and days just fly by. When I produce something that works and can be used, that's when I feel the most fulfilled.

But most of the time I'm not challenged. It's mundane unchallenging stuff investigating minor technical problems, coming up with the same old solutions to problems time and time again. Doing staff meetings, filling out employee evaluations, writing reports. I can do it, and once I get myself geared up I get through it, and I do it well. But I get no joy in it. I haven't had to work hard to do it, so I feel no sense of satisfaction at the end. Every now and again I'll get a short burst of determination, arrive into work saying, "Today's the day!". But once the same old boring workload appears, and the same old fncking stupid questions, I'm back wasting time online to fill the day.

The obvious answer is, "well, change job then". But my issue is that I can't decide what next. There is no end of jobs out there for me that'll pay me just as well. But I know that within 6-9 months I'm going to feel exactly the same. The challenge will be gone, it'll be the same monotony and I'll be craving something else to do. This is pretty much how every job goes for me. But maybe it is the job. Maybe some workplaces are better at keeping you engaged than others?

Even feedback is unsatisfying. In a training session I was recently asked to recall a piece of negative feedback I received from a manager. I couldn't recall any. Once - once! - a manager noted that I needed to be aware that people could see my screen and could see when I was surfing the web, but nevertheless my performance feedback was 100%, no issues, could not be happier with me. I do have a certain amount of imposter syndrome - I worry that colleagues think I'm taking the piss and one day a manager is going to tell me that I've produced nothing and got nothing done. But then I get feedback and it's always full marks. "Boo hoo", you say, but in the long-term it leaves me confused. I have no guidance and no roadmap on how to be better. I feel like I'm only giving 25%, and nobody is asking for any more than that. So I almost have no idea how to give 100%.

As well as that, I want to feel like what I do actually has value to society and humanity. I don't really want to work for a company that produces gambling software, or eCommerce software, or makes it easier for company to spam you with marketing stuff. Do I really want to be on my deathbed saying, "well kids, you should be proud of your Dad. He managed to save some shareholders 5c on every sales transaction and increase the speed of their gambling software by 50%".
Do I not want them to be able to say, "My Dad worked for a company who specialised in reforesting and that's why these trees exist", or "he helped develop software that made it easier for poor people to access education"?
My own father was self-employed, and while he didn't exactly pick a career that shaped the future of humanity, at least it was an honest living, making a modest amount of money for himself and not millions for someone else.

I still need to be paid. I can't afford to take a huge drop in pay. And like most parents I don't mind making personal sacrifices to provide the best for my kids. But there has to be a happy medium. Right? A scenario where I get to be good at what I do, earn money, and don't feel like I need to jump ship all the time?

If money were no object, would I still work? No. I don't think so. My days would consist of spending time with the family, and when I'm not I'd be occupying myself doing actual, physical labour; gardening, woodworking, cutting and drilling and lifting and building. These things require actual effort and produce something tangible at the end that you can be proud of. And maybe inventing; experimenting with things to solve real-world problems.

Would I still be into technology? Eventually I'd probably come back to it, when I came up with an idea for something that could be solved with programming.

Should I stop trying to look a gift horse in the mouth? Just go find another job, accept the monotony, change every couple of years and focus my energy at home? And hope that by changing, eventually I'll stumble upon something that keeps me enthusiastic?

There's a distinct absence of talk of home life because I don't really have anything I want to change, if I'm being honest. Nobody's perfect, I wish I had more time to myself, my kids are mental, and there are a million unfinished jobs to be done in the house, but pretty standard fare. Home never feels monotonous. I'm never bored at home.

Thanks for reading that wall of text, if you have. Even if there are no suggestions, it might help me to have written it all out...

LLMMLL

It’s definitely possible to change your work life to be more rewarding and engaging etc. From reading your post it seems a little unlikely.

Firstly, realise that the “if I didn’t have to work I would be at home building stuff” is just a nice fantasy and not take it seriously. There nothing wrong with it. I have fantasies about being so rich that I never have to go through a standard airport ever again. But barring a lotto win or getting lucky in a get rich quick scheme, that’s not going to happen for the vast majority of us. Plus there’s a good chance you’d end up getting up at 1pm wondering where the day went rather than build a treehouse.

So the question is can you change career to something more rewarding and keep a similar pay scale?

Going on your post and some assumptions, it seems you don’t like the management end of things for a start. Would you be happier in a role that was pure tech? Can you transfer into such a role and would you be on a similar salary?

Then the question arises what kind of tech job? You’ve expressed some displeasure at unfulfilling work that seems to have two roots. You enjoy intense problem solving, and that’s sporadic in your current job, and you question the benefit that the result is shareholder gains in an unethical industry. Both of those issues potentially can be addressed, but there are no guarantees. It’s hard to know exactly what a role in a company entails before actually starting to work there. How can you predict in advance whether the role will be consistently challenging? How can you know that you won’t be exhausted by extending the few days of problem solving you currently engage in to being constantly challenged?

In terms of ethical companies making a contribution I guess there’s a personal element. Some people working for Airbnb in a dull job would feel they’re making a massive contribution to the world by working for a “disruptor”. Would you feel that way? Or would it need to be a tree planting non profit? Are there many of these companies in Ireland and how do they pay?

I think these are the questions that need to be answered and you can certainly continue to do what you’re currently doing while looking around trying to answer these questions. But nothing is going to change while you dream of staying home and building things.

You’ll also need to talk to your partner and discuss potential cuts in salary.

BTW none of the above is meant to sound harsh or discouraging. Just realistic.

zapper55

I think you need to look at your situation differently. Take your fulfilment from non work areas.

My dad worked in the corporate world. He also did some volunteer work, both attached to and separate to work. I took a lot of inspiration from that. Like you I get very good reviews, but it's not always challenging (to me). So I looked outside my role for fulfilment.

I am an committees in work to help increase the work life balance of the organisation generally. I also mentor people in and outside work and I've many personal projects on the go.

You need to get a bit inventive and brainstorm about what's possible.

jimmycrackcorm

zapper55 wrote: »

I think you need to look at your situation differently. Take your fulfilment from non-work areas.

I know the same feeling. Much of IT is mundane because essentially we have to build stuff that works and provides some value.
However, I get more joy from building my own projects outside of work. Apart from the fact that I can pick and choose what I want to do with whatever technology I feel like, I also get to express my own creativity with the benefit of being able to make sure I'm staying ahead in the technical game.

Christian75

I think you nailed the issue yourself, albeit somewhat buried within your wall of reflection.

You feel the fulfilled when you produce something that works and when you accomplish something. Also, you want to do something for humanity and not just doing your daily toil.

Ask yourself the following questions:

What exactly is the product of your job in its most idealistic view?

How does that product fit into your company's final product?

Through the company, how does your work benefit humanity?

Think of the biggest visionary you can imagine, someone you look up to and someone who is a model for you. How would that person handle your job on a day to day basis?

While answering these questions to yourself you might come upon some useful insights.

Good luck.

zoobizoo

Hey OP,

Would you look into setting up a charity or partnering with a charity while continuing to work?

I read about a couple who were comfortable financially and didn't need for anything and rather than spending their money on new cars every year or spending wastefully, they set up a charity sponsoring a town in Africa I think.

Or producing something that could make life in the slums of India easier for kids or taught them technology or ...... well you're the tech guy who wants a challenge so maybe you could come up with some ideas yourself.