What would you do if you found that your partner was a vampire?

badabing106 · 19-10-2018 3:35pm #1

What would you do?

mad muffin · 19-10-2018 3:37pm

Cook a lavish steak dinner sprinkled with garlic

Boom_Bap · 19-10-2018 3:38pm

watch TV or something

bullpost · 19-10-2018 3:39pm

Pull the curtains.

mad muffin · 19-10-2018 3:39pm

Pretend it’s night time then open the curtains as they enter the room

Mean Laqueefa · 19-10-2018 3:40pm

check the sanitary bin for bats

mad muffin · 19-10-2018 3:40pm

Put onions around my neck

Ragnar Lothbrok · 19-10-2018 3:42pm

Bite me!

I've always fancied being a vampire. Unfortunately, I'm a vegetarian, so maybe that would rule me out?

super_furry · 19-10-2018 3:42pm

You're going to have to define your vampires here. Are we talking gothic beast Dracula, cool edgy 80s Lost Boys teens, sexy PVC Underworld vampires, brooding angsty Anne Rice vampires or Twilight sparkle fairies?

19-10-2018 3:43pm

Leave him for a sexy werewolf! TEAM JACOB!

faceman · 19-10-2018 3:45pm

I’d be grateful that she’ll retain her graceful young looks as I age less gracefully.

Mean Laqueefa · 19-10-2018 3:46pm

faceman wrote: »

I’d be grateful that she’ll retain her graceful young looks as I age less gracefully.

Thats kinda ****ed up, but im on board with it, situation dependent

jim salter · 19-10-2018 3:52pm

Whaddya mean "if"? She is a vampire, she slowly drains the life out of my bank account

19-10-2018 3:58pm

Oh my God my ultimate fantasy!! I would dress in a long chiffon night gown with a laced up neckline which he would rip apart with his teeth and turn me in to a creature of the night! My skin would be like alabaster with a slight shimmer and my hair would grow five inches longer, lips would be a permanant shade of rosey red.

*ok back to work now*

:pac:

begbysback · 19-10-2018 4:00pm

That would be pretty fcuked up as I don't have a partner

Zorya · 19-10-2018 4:00pm

....wonder what the hell I'd been doing with my consciousness for the past many years that I had never noticed before.

....... · 19-10-2018 4:01pm

Id say to him:

I wanna do bad things with you.....

Then hed get bitey and he and I would fly off into the night together drinking blood and going to orgies for eternity.

Id LOVE it.

Necro · 19-10-2018 4:02pm

super_furry wrote: »

You're going to have to define your vampires here. Are we talking gothic beast Dracula, cool edgy 80s Lost Boys teens, sexy PVC Underworld vampires, brooding angsty Anne Rice vampires or Twilight sparkle fairies?

You forgot the World of Darkness vampires from Vampire the Masquerade.

They even have a board of directors who may or may not be children of the night...

Mind's Eye Society

E mac · 19-10-2018 4:06pm

Well that sucks....

Atoms for Peace · 19-10-2018 5:39pm

I guess a sun holiday together would be out of the question.

badabing106 · 23-10-2018 6:34pm

super_furry wrote: »

You're going to have to define your vampires here. Are we talking gothic beast Dracula, cool edgy 80s Lost Boys teens, sexy PVC Underworld vampires, brooding angsty Anne Rice vampires or Twilight sparkle fairies?

Good looking with noble intentions and a cool car, who can control their animalistic desires, unless a loved one is threatened and then necks get checks

Autecher · 23-10-2018 7:02pm

If this was my vampire partner I would happily kidnap, murder or syringe blood from passers by for her

TheValeyard · 23-10-2018 7:03pm

Ring 1850 VAN HELSING

Ah, who am I kidding. I'd become a vampire and create a large army of undead to do my bidding.

beertons · 23-10-2018 7:05pm

If she fixed me up a bloody Mary, I'd be a bit suspicious.

mikhail · 23-10-2018 7:09pm

badabing106 wrote: »

What would you do?

Asking for a friend, OP?

Four Phucs Ache · 23-10-2018 7:25pm

I would buy a cravat.

Cutie 3.14 · 23-10-2018 7:27pm

Well, I'd save a hell of a lot of money on tampons anyway

bodhrandude · 23-10-2018 7:33pm

You could buy them black puddings as a special birthday treat.

:pac:

wexie · 23-10-2018 7:34pm

super_furry wrote: »

..... sexy PVC Underworld vampires.....

That would be like....really.....terrible....

gozunda · 23-10-2018 7:35pm

As long as she had a decent castle and plenty of nice countryside somewhere I wouldn't complain ...

darlett · 23-10-2018 7:42pm

bodhrandude wrote: »

You could buy them black puddings as a special birthday treat. :pac:

I got the Clonkealty cos I love you babes X

orourkeda1977 · 23-10-2018 7:46pm

Probably ride her

Your Face · 23-10-2018 7:59pm

I'd tell her to fup off.

Then I'd miss her and start drinking too much.

Probably end up getting in fights and getting sent to jail.

When I get out I'd buy a Berlingo and move to Munster. I could survive by selling baling twine and brake fluid to fellow Berlingo owners.

DundalkDuffman · 23-10-2018 8:57pm

I suppose I'd just B positive

Wibbs · 23-10-2018 9:10pm

DundalkDuffman wrote: »

I suppose I'd just B positive

Youd did not just type that DD.

:D:pac::pac:

_Brian · 23-10-2018 10:09pm

badabing106 wrote: »

What would you do?

Straight into boards and open a thread.

selwyn froggitt · 24-10-2018 7:21am

I'd tell her to cop on and have a bloody good look in the mirror.

Hector Savage · 24-10-2018 7:47am

Why doesn't moonlight kill a vampire ? since it's just reflected sunlight ?
Why does Dracula always have a nice parting in his hair ? how can he do that when he has no reflection ?

Mrcaramelchoc · 24-10-2018 7:49am

Id tell them to go read boards for a solution.

Autecher · 24-10-2018 7:52am

Hector Savage wrote: »

Why doesn't moonlight kill a vampire ? since it's just reflected sunlight ?

Vampires don't have reflections, anything that is reflected, such as the sunlight bouncing off the moon, can't affect them.

Hector Savage wrote: »

Why does Dracula always have a nice parting in his hair ? how can he do that when he has no reflection ?

Years and years and years and years of practice makes perfect. Or someone does it for him but I'm going with the former.

Hector Savage · 24-10-2018 8:11am

cliggg wrote: »

Vampires don't have reflections, anything that is reflected, such as the sunlight bouncing off the moon, can't affect them.

My God!
It's a great explanation!

Years and years and years and years of practice makes perfect. Or someone does it for him but I'm going with the former.

Hector Savage · 24-10-2018 8:12am

cliggg wrote: »

If this was my vampire partner I would happily kidnap, murder or syringe blood from passers by for her

Or Monica Bellucci in the 1992 one .... JAYSUS!!!

Cleopatra_ · 24-10-2018 8:19am

Well vampires are usually really hot and seem to spend their time riding so I'd be pretty ok with that. I guess I might need to be persuaded to get in on the murdering but once you have a taste for blood I guess it's just like eating chicken

the whole immortality thing is a bit too.......forever for my liking.

24-10-2018 8:34am

Wibbs wrote: »

Youd did not just type that DD. :D:pac::pac:

Why sO Negative?

BeerWolf · 24-10-2018 11:53am

Be disappointed... gimme a werewolf instead.

BeerWolf · 24-10-2018 11:56am

super_furry wrote: »

You're going to have to define your vampires here. Are we talking gothic beast Dracula, cool edgy 80s Lost Boys teens, sexy PVC Underworld vampires, brooding angsty Anne Rice vampires or Twilight sparkle fairies?

What about Nosferatu ?