Help!! Baby won’t sleep

Pinkapple19

Hi,
Has anyone any tips on how to get a nearly 10 month old to sleep through the night?
He use to be so good but in the last 2/3 months he has been such hard work. He won’t go asleep on his own in the cot, we need to push him around in his buggy to get him off asleep. He usually sleeps from 8:30-6:30 but in that time he would wake serveral times, sometimes you would need to give him a bottle, other times he just wouldn’t want to go back asleep and only want to play, we usually end up going down to the sofa and putting on the tv where he eventually goes back to sleep. He’s very active during the day and will nap twice. One small nap maybe 30-45 and one long nap 1/2 hours. I try not to let him sleep any later than 4pm as we try to get him ready for bed at 7:30/8pm. He usually always is asleep by 8:30.

I need sleep. Going out of my mind at this stage now not getting my nights sleep. Any advise welcome...

lazygal

It's totally normal for a ten month old not to sleep through the night. They still have tiny tummies and get hungry and need comforting. It's developmental, you can't train a baby that small to sleep through.

eoin317

Could be teething...happened with us around 10 months, back to normal routine around 12 months, again at 16 months and back to normal at 18 months. Not easy but just try to figure out if its hunger, nappy, pain etc. and settle them back. If you can get a new routine and stick to it that always helps...

Springfields

lazygal wrote: »

It's totally normal for a ten month old not to sleep through the night. They still have tiny tummies and get hungry and need comforting. It's developmental, you can't train a baby that small to sleep through.

Don't agree sorry...op look up the baby sleep solution by Lucy Wolfe. Our 9 month old was waking 2 a night and drinking a 7 oz bottle each time even though she was on solids....I knew there was no way she was hungry..she was using the bottle to get back to sleep. Within one week of using Lucy's methods (which involves staying with baby so there is no upset or crying) she now goes down at 7.30 and sleeps till 7am. If she does wake she settles herself back. The method does work and now I wake earlier than the baby!! She is on instagram and has lots of advice there too...dm if you need more details.

Oh and she naps twice a day too. Min an hour each time..

bee06

I personally like this article on the 9 month sleep regression. I’m in the camp like Lazygal that sleep is developmental.

https://sarahockwell-smith.com/2015/11/18/what-the-heck-goes-wrong-sleep-wise-at-8-10-months/

fits

Ahh baby sleep is a bit of a rollercoaster. It gets better and worse and better again. And they are individuals. Some just sleep better than others.

Loveinapril

You have literally described my 10 month old, including the (occasional use of the) buggy, naps and bottles (although he goes to bed at 7pm and up until a month ago was waking at 5am or 5.30am). I am very much on the side of Bee and Lazygal in that your 10 month old is acting as a 10 month old should. They will eventually move through this stage so you just need to go with it and do what works for them.

Stylesclash07

Just wanted to say to the posters who puts the words DONT AGREE in here or anything like that, that’s your baby every baby is different, I have four kids and each one was completely different. My only advice is look carefully at other advise. Use what your comfortable with and remember it will get better.

Springfields

My baby must have been extraordinary then!!...sleeping through at 9 months...funny how that happened after a week of "training" her though (and she's gotten 5 teeth since)...op is obviously looking for suggestions to help so isn't it worth a go ? And btw I agree that sleep is linked to development...but there are plenty of tips and advice to help them get the best possible sleep..so why not try them.

Springfields

Stylesclash07 wrote: »

Just wanted to say to the posters who puts the words DONT AGREE in here or anything like that, that’s your baby every baby is different, I have four kids and each one was completely different. My only advice is look carefully at other advise. Use what your comfortable with and remember it will get better.

Just to clarify I didn't use capital letter as that's just plain rude...and I was just offering advice as per op requested. Don't see anything wrong with that ? I have 3 myself so know how they are all different, was just trying to help..

bee06

bee06 wrote: »

I personally like this article on the 9 month sleep regression. I’m in the camp like Lazygal that sleep is developmental.

https://sarahockwell-smith.com/2015/11/18/what-the-heck-goes-wrong-sleep-wise-at-8-10-months/

Just to give my own experience now that I don’t have a baby climbing all over me. I’m out the other side (I think) with my 9.5 month old. I just waited it out and he’s sleeping better now than before it started (he’s never slept though). When he went through the 4 month sleep regression I tried all sorts but nothing worked and he just worked it out himself. That’s why I decided to just do nothing this time.

Unfortunately since he started sleeping better I’m going through my own sleep regression it seems (bout of insomnia) but that’s for another thread. Maybe that’s why I am so accepting of his frequent waking. I’m a terrible sleeper as well so I can’t expect my baby to sleep through if I can’t do it myself.

shesty

Babies wake at night, 100% agree.But I would not be taking him out of his bed or anything.My own five month old (our third) is currently awake at night for a good hour between 3:30 & 4:30 am babbling.He chats himself back to sleep -eventually.I just lie there, put his soother in and hold his hand if he wants.(he's in a cot beside us).There are no lights on, no interaction going on, nothing.It's a phase, and he'll work it out.But if you take him out, it makes it interesting and makes the habit of waking even stronger.It's hell for you, (and me, at the moment), don't get me wrong, but just resettle him repeatedly for as long as it takes and he will get out of it eventually.

As for the naps, my inclination would be to put him to bed for at least one of them and sit it out with him.The tireder some kids, get the more overactive they become-my first is like this.I would suggest looking up tips for good sleep habits, to be honest, (not including crying it out.).I would not be pushing him around in buggies to go to sleep at night-what will you do when that stops working?He will go to sleep in his cot, you just need some techniques to help him out at it for a while (and a lot of patience and tenacity).All babies are different, and babies definitely wake at night, but you create their habits over the long term, you have to act as their clock and set a few boundaries.If he only does a short nap and a long nap in a day, then fine,that's his way but it's up to you to make sure he does them, is what I mean.

I appreciate mine is probably not a popular opinion, but babies don't just automatically know how to fall asleep and stay asleep all the time, sometimes they need some help and guidance and it's up to us as the parent to provide it, or at least to set the scene for them to work it out.Sleep happens in beds, and teaching him that now at this age is a million times easier than in a year's time when he can walk and talk and you are completely wiped out.

Chopper83

Your baby is probably waking every night expecting the bottle? Can you wean them off this during the night? In terms of naps there doesn't seem anything out of the ordinary and very much similar to our own baby back at 10 month stage.
We went through a sleep training course at 10 months as our baby regressed significantly and sounds similar to your circumstances. 3 nights of sleep training done the trick for us but first thing i'd suggest is remove the night feed.

Springfields

shesty wrote: »

Babies wake at night, 100% agree.But I would not be taking him out of his bed or anything.My own five month old (our third) is currently awake at night for a good hour between 3:30 & 4:30 am babbling.He chats himself back to sleep -eventually.I just lie there, put his soother in and hold his hand if he wants.(he's in a cot beside us).There are no lights on, no interaction going on, nothing.It's a phase, and he'll work it out.But if you take him out, it makes it interesting and makes the habit of waking even stronger.It's hell for you, (and me, at the moment), don't get me wrong, but just resettle him repeatedly for as long as it takes and he will get out of it eventually.

As for the naps, my inclination would be to put him to bed for at least one of them and sit it out with him.The tireder some kids, get the more overactive they become-my first is like this.I would suggest looking up tips for good sleep habits, to be honest, (not including crying it out.).I would not be pushing him around in buggies to go to sleep at night-what will you do when that stops working?He will go to sleep in his cot, you just need some techniques to help him out at it for a while (and a lot of patience and tenacity).All babies are different, and babies definitely wake at night, but you create their habits over the long term, you have to act as their clock and set a few boundaries.If he only does a short nap and a long nap in a day, then fine,that's his way but it's up to you to make sure he does them, is what I mean.

I appreciate mine is probably not a popular opinion, but babies don't just automatically know how to fall asleep and stay asleep all the time, sometimes they need some help and guidance and it's up to us as the parent to provide it, or at least to set the scene for them to work it out.Sleep happens in beds, and teaching him that now at this age is a million times easier than in a year's time when he can walk and talk and you are completely wiped out.

Absolutely agree...the TV will only stimulate them to stay awake..and rocking them to sleep will work just to get them off but when the wake they will expect to be rocked again...ie won't settle themselves. There's lots of simple things to try ... I know, I've tried most of them !!

Chopper83

Yeah agree re the rocking, it's a short term solution to get sleep but it's a bad sleep association for the baby. I'd recommend being consistent for 3 or 4 nights (when you have nothing on) in putting your baby down in the cot sleepy, no bottle in the middle of the night, some reassurance during crying the first 2 nights but not physically lifting your baby (unless sobbing inconsolably). Your baby needs to learn how to fall asleep on their own and rocking, lifting and flesh on flesh is an expectation everytime they wake up. We done the same! All the best

Chopper83

Duplicate post

bee06

Coincidentally someone just shared this on Facebook from Swansea University.

https://youtu.be/KloS897cp-c

catrionanic

Firstly I would say that it's totally normal for babies at this age not to sleep through - despite what the woman in the supermarket might be telling you! My boy didn't start to sleep through until 13 months. Some go longer. So try not to put too much emphasis on this.

It sounds like your wee man just doesn't know how to settle himself down to sleep. He needs to be fed or be rocked in the buggy. Falling asleep alone is a skill that babies need to learn, and until they do, they will cry out for you multiple times per night because they can't do it alone.

What worked for us was to put him down gradually more and more awake in his cot. So instead of rocking or feeding him completely to sleep, put him down when he's very very drowsy. Stay in the room and shush him or hold his hand or rub his back if you need to. Keep going like this for a couple of weeks, gradually putting him down when he's less and less drowsy until you can put him in the cot completely awake. It takes a while and you need to be very patient. But eventually he will be able to settle himself back down to sleep when he does wake in the night. It is normal to wake through the night - even as adults we wake several times. But until he learns to self-soothe, he will need you to do it for him.

Re: the bottles... their tummies are indeed small and I don't think they recommend that you force night weaning before one? But it's up to you to judge whether he is genuinely hungry, or is using the bottle to self-soothe. If he wakes 3 hours after his dinner, you probably know he's not actually hungry. But if he's waking and wanting a bottle after 7 or 8 hours, that's another story. You couldn't go to sleep with a rumbling tummy, and neither could he.

I second the advice not to take him downstairs. He won't be long learning that he can come down and watch TV if he keeps crying. So I would stop that right away.

And the other really big thing is consistency. Naps at the same time each day, and a fixed bedtime. Always do the same routine in the run-up to bedtime. Change him in the same place, brush his teeth in the same bathroom, read him books in his bedroom and not alternating between different places. Always follow the same routine of saying the same things when you put him down.

A sippy cup of water in the cot may be useful too, in case he gets thirsty in the night. And a soft toy or comforter too.

Best of luck.

shesty

I was just thinking about my post...my guy gets a bottle at bedtime and a dream feed at 10/11, in case anyone thinks I'm starving my five month old!!!!he's happy out when he's awake (unfortunately), so clearly is not hungry!
I second that, I'd expect regular night waking til at least roughly 14 mths, then waking at least once every few nights after that (very roughly).It's how quickly they can get themselves back to sleep is really the big thing, moreso than the fact that they wake at night.