Depressed, Anxious, and i genuinely need advice and help

liamtech

I was going to post this anonymously but i decided not to, as i dont really care - also i dont know if this is the right place to post - please feel free to move the post.

I have been suffering depression and anxiety on and off for many years - it comes over me suddenly, and is usually precipitated by something - this time my GF who has been breaking up with me periodically on and off for several months. Anyway the last break up pushed me over an edge and i just felt completely destroyed. i dont have family to turn too, and although i have a best friend i believe i am putting too much of this on him - its wrong and it makes me even more agitated to see a friend running around trying to help me, when i cant seem to help myself

Im not working atm, so i cant afford private medical care - i keep going to my GP, who is trying to help - dont think he isnt, cause he is. But its just not working - its not enough - last time i saw him he told me that i need - routine, and to look after myself, and to stop trying to confront my demons - back off for a while - he told me if i can do that - then il end up having to go in to hospital - he has given me some medication but i can only describe it as being a 'pinch' - makes hardly a noticeable difference

Im also seeing a Councillor, and she is helpful - but i feel like im going in every week and just telling her how messed up i am - my childhood, my family - that kind a thing - and while it does seem to unburden me, i just feel like im whinning to someone

And finally, i admit that i sometimes turn to drink - i am smart enough to know this is NOT the answer - drink being depressive and all - but there are times guys when i just dont care - literally my thought process is -

-Shouldnt do this
-bad idea
-But i cant go on feeling like this
-i know il pay for it tomorrow
-but now im in pain
-so to hell with it, NOW is more immediate than TOMORROW

my latest chat with my doctor was monday - and thats where he basically implied - i need to think my way out of this - routine - exercise - good food - be positive - and if that doesnt work - hospitalization - in other words only two choices

Please guys - is there something in between? is there somewhere i can go, daily if required that i will be seen - this feels like more than simply 'being depressed' at this stage - i also feel like the medication is not enough - im not asking for a magic pill but surely there are things available now that would ACTUALLY make me feel a tad better - to do what my doctor says i need to be in the right frame of mind - and im not - im balling my eyes out sometimes, - feel like a total shambles

i keep seeing adverts on tv - 'If your down, talk to your doctor' - is this it? talk, be told 'Get yourself together OR ELSE HOSPITAL LOOMS'

im ok to talk more if anyone wants too - and i know you guys arent doctors - but maybe someone has some experience with this - i just need help:(

BobCobb

Hi,
Sorry to hear that things are tough at the moment.


I have been suffering with depression and anxiety for a good few years myself, and know that it isn't easy.
All the things that your doctor suggests can help.
I find that even having an extra cup of coffee or too much sugar/chocolate can leave me feeling jittery and irritable afterwards, so if you can maintain a good diet it can help.
It's a small thing, but all of the small things can add up; an hour or two less sleep here and there, a skipped meal, not getting out for a walk/cycle/whatever, or having that extra drink or two doesn't seem like much but over time they can have a negative impact, all the more so if you are already under stress.


I had to give up the drink completely as the hangovers were just getting worse and worse, and it was a real pain initially but I don't really miss it now. Maybe try cutting back a bit if it's impacting you in a big way - even spend more on a really nice beer/wine/whatever and savour it more rather than just knocking it back.


It sounds like the counsellor is helping; I wouldn't worry about 'whining' or that, their job is to listen!
Maybe look into CBT too, it can help you to see more clearly how the negative thinking can become the default position and can also help you to see why you might be thinking or feeling that way, and to step out of the moment a bit and not get caught up in depressive thoughts.


Routine is helpful alright. Having to get out of bed and be around people during the day sort of forces me to be in a somewhat decent mood. I'm not sure if you're looking for a job or not, but it can be a good distraction.
As for medication, I've been on escitalopram for a good few years and I think that it definitely helps, and stops me from getting too low. I'm not sure what medication you were prescribed but perhaps you could talk to your doctor about a different one if you felt that the first one didn't do much good, or maybe go to a psychiatrist to see what they say.


I have found meditation to be very helpful. It can be tricky to get the hang of, especially if your mind is racing, but even a few minutes can calm the mind quite a lot. There are some good meditations on Youtube from Mark Williams (not the snooker player!). They are not too long, and he has a calm voice. Here's a link to a body scan meditation of his which I find good.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyKhfUdOEgs


I hope some of this helps and that things improve for you soon.

Dara Mac Donnell

Liamtech I sent you a PM

wexie

There's a whole lot of info there but I'm just going to respond to a few things.

liamtech wrote: »

But its just not working - its not enough - last time i saw him he told me that i need - routine, and to look after myself, and to stop trying to confront my demons - back off for a while - he told me if i can do that - then il end up having to go in to hospital - he has given me some medication but i can only describe it as being a 'pinch' - makes hardly a noticeable difference

Your doctor is right (in my opinion, and in the opinion of people that have been and are trying to help me with similar issues) trying to confront your demons is like banging your head against the wall, it won't do much to the wall and nothing good for your head.

Some demons you might just have to accept, you can't change the past for example. Some demons you can work on, like how you perceive and react to the world and events in your life.

liamtech wrote: »

Im also seeing a Councillor, and she is helpful - but i feel like im going in every week and just telling her how messed up i am - my childhood, my family - that kind a thing - and while it does seem to unburden me, i just feel like im whinning to someone

The way it was once (simply) explained to me is that there are 2 types of counselor. The first is the type where you go to get everything off your chest : my life sucks, things are hard yada yada yada and you have a good weekly rant and it clears things up a little bit.

The second actually helps you look at things and perhaps change things, how you perceive things, how you react to things etc. etc.

Sounds to me like perhaps you have the first type of counselor and might be better served with the second?

Other than that I can't but agreed with what's already been said, live healthily, try to be active. If you feel you're leaning on your friend too much maybe ask them to try to engage you in things that don't involve just talking about how you're feeling but keep your mind off it for a while? Go for a walk somewhere, cut the grass, any number of things you can do to stop you from focussing on what's going on in your mind.