Maintenance for unmarried father on a one-night stand affair

Amanda07

Hi,
I want to seek advice on behalf of my friend.
He had a child from a girl she met once and had a one night stand affair. The girl had not informed him that she was pregnant after 6-7 months. They were not in a relationship or even cohabiting with each other. They were pure strangers. He could not do anything then after the girl had informed her.
Now, the mother of the child is seeking maintenance from him asking for support for the child. He thought this is a trap for him because the girl did not inform him that she was pregnant right after she knew it which can mean that the girl should have the sole responsibility on her actions. And in the first place the girl is pure stranger to the guy.
Can you help on how to go about this?
Can the nonrelationship be a valid ground for the guy not to give maintenance?
And can you please provide any link on the free legal advise he can reach/contact regarding this?
Thank you.

TheBoyConor

If the guy is the baby's father then no, there is no way for him to avoid maintenance. He is paying that money to support the child. It's not a punitive measure brought in to punish unmarried fathers. That's the first thing.


The second thing is how does he even know the baby is his? Is he supposed to just take her word for it?
He should demand that a court ordered paternity test be done asap and then if that is positive they can get the court to determine what the maintenance will be.
If the test is negative then, quite frankly, she and the child can f off.

Diceicle

If the kid is his then he is and should be liable to pay. Her not informing him for some time is practically irrelevant. He ate the steak now it's time to pay the bill.
I'm sort of at a loss as to how he'd think he's not on the hook for this. I'd be getting a paternity test myself and taking my sexual interactions more seriously if I were him.

Xterminator

Hi Op

the maintenance is not for the mother it is for the child! so your question

Can the non relationship be a valid ground for the guy not to give maintenance?

is pure nonsense. Put it this way the child did not ask to be brought into this world. but it is here and deserves every opportunity he/she can be given. A paternity test would be absolutely necessary and your friend should offer to pay for one, and make any voluntary payments conditional on one being taken to his satisfaction. It is not necessary for your friend and the child's mother to go to court for a mandatory order of support. He should try to agree a sum that is acceptable to both parties. But if that doesn't work, he could go to court to set a figure. i don't think he will be forced to see his child, but again the decent thing to do would be to arrange a visitation schedule and build a relationship with his child. I would reiterate the child is an innocent party in this.

Finally your post come across as if you mate was being trapped or scammed.you said

that the girl should have the sole responsibility on her actions

but your friend engaged in sex with a randomer and he bears complete and equal responsibility here. That the mother did not seek to inform him before hand is her choice, and didn't ask for a financial help for pregnancy would actually appear to be to her credit, given they were complete strangers to each other.

Believe me she will have had to deal with the consequences too and for her those consequences were greater (eg pregnancy, time off work, etc). tell your mate to take his poor me hat off and step up to the responsibilities and consequences of his actions. (subject to a paternity test). quit blaming the mother, that's morally repugnant and lazy.

Tina82

get a paternity test and if he is the father face up to his responsibilities.

TheBoyConor

Well said Xterminator

Turnipman

Tina82 wrote: »

get a paternity test and if he is the father face up to his responsibilities.

And both of them should probably STI tests too, if they're in the habit of shagging strangers without using any protection!

Amanda, in your OP, you state that they were "pure (or impure!) strangers" when they had the one night stand!

That being the case, how did she manage to trace him 9 months later?