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Have you repaired a sexless marriage and how and how not?

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  • #52
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Senature wrote: »
    These are the nubs of the issue, you need to tell her this, clearly, preferably in couples counselling. I think you are closer to ending your marriage then you realise, your own plan A is to work towards having other options down the line.

    Also, regarding your point about being the only breadwinner, I think you might resent your wife more than you realise too. A couple should both have input into the relationship, home, family responsibilities incl finances and childcare etc. No couple share any of these tasks equally between them ever. When one person perceives that they have the raw deal, resentments build, and they can be totally toxic. You seem to feel that you have the raw deal as you are the only breadwinner. Playing devils advocate, your wife may also feel that she has the raw deal. Are you developing and furthering a career or business, while she has put her own working life on hold in order to take care of your home and children? She may meet friends for coffee or go to gym or yoga classes for a couple of hours a few days a week which sounds lovely, but the rest of every day until bedtime, is likely taken up with a series of mind numbingly boring and endless tasks for which she never receives any thanks or appreciation. And has zero chance ever of a raise, bonus, promotion, new contract etc.

    I guess my point overall is, no relationship is perfect, often despite people's best intentions. But I can't see how you can make a good sex life with the ingredients above. So these are things that I think need to be addressed. Good luck.

    Thanks for the input. I've been through all this thinking a million times over from every perspective. That's why I wanted the focus here to be on things that people did which managed to turn things around... or that didn't.


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